


Endless Skies

by zanarkand



Series: Synergy [2]
Category: Digimon - All Media Types, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Blowjobs, College, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hand Jobs, Koumi, M/M, Master/Slave Kink, NaNoWriMo, Nano '16, Oral Sex, Romance, Slice of Life, Taito, The 02 end doesn't happen, Tri doesn't happen, University, Yama is a daddy, Yamachi, daiken, parenting, single dad, single parent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-29 03:48:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 84,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8474215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanarkand/pseuds/zanarkand
Summary: Sequel to "Unequivocal." Yamato thought the hardest part of raising his son as a single teen dad was the first year. But he's quickly finding out how wrong he was as he juggles his first year of college, the band, dating, and the terrible twos. Taito. AU for Tri.





	1. I'm So Happy

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so here it is, the sequel to Unequivocal! As I mentioned before, this is my NaNoWriMo project (if you're unfamiliar with it, you write a 50K word story during the month of November). So, unlike Unequivocal, this story is not yet finished, and I will be posting as I go. I'll do my best to edit the chapters before I post, but you may wind up with some rough drafts. I also don't know that I'll be able to stick to the post every Saturday schedule, but I'll try my best! If I get ahead enough, I may start posting Saturdays and Wednesdays, but we'll have to see.
> 
> As I mentioned in the notes of Unequivocal, this story takes place during Yamato's first year of college (okay, the notes said second, but I meant first). It covers the whole year, and I had a hell of a time trying to balance between all the things going on (school, band, kid, Taichi, friends, family), so hopefully it's not too much. Even though the fic isn't complete, I _do_ have the entire thing outlined—the outline is roughly 15.7K words, and tentatively divided into twenty-two chapters so far. So yes, it's a lot, and this fic may end up being more than 50K words, I'm not sure. I only hope that you guys enjoy it. I also have plans to do later one-shots from when Naoki is a bit older.
> 
> And, like last time, I still use a weird mix of British and American spellings, and I still tried to keep this mostly accurate to Japanese culture with a bit of Western attitudes sneaking in. Though I had a hard time figuring out how Japanese universities worked, and finally just made them sort of like American ones, but still in trimester terms. If I'm completely wrong, sorry, and let me know how they work, I want to know!
> 
> Also, the places that are mentioned by name are all real. Because I'm a loser that looks up _everything_. I googled live houses that catered to indie pop/rock bands that were in Tokyo but not too close to each other. Even though I could have made something up and probably no one would care. Why do I do this to myself?
> 
> Oh, and once again all chapter titles are L'Arc~en~Ciel song titles for no real reason. The story title is the name of a VNV Nation song, which is the band I saw in Chicago, and love very much. The song is gorgeous, give it a listen if you want.
> 
> Okay, seriously, enjoy.

Yamato waves at the movers as they shut the door behind them, and then looks around his new apartment with a silly grin on his face, feeling excitement at finally having his own place. Not that he minds living with his dad, but with Naoki getting bigger, his room had begun feeling too cramped—and he really wants some privacy again. And he doesn't feel it's fair to keep inflicting a child on his dad, who has already raised two of his own and deserves some peace and quiet now that he's getting older. "Well, this is it, Naoki," he says, looking down at his son who is clinging to his leg and staring around the room, looking at all the boxes and new furniture with curiosity. "This our new home."

"Home?" Naoki asks, looking up at him, his blue eyes wide with wonder. 

"That's right. Our home." He pulls his cell out of his pocket and checks the time, noting that the others should be arriving in a little bit to help him unpack. In the meantime, Yamato decides to go ahead and get started, not wanting to waste any time. After a moment's indecision, he chooses to start in Naoki's room, thinking that if he gets the toddler's toys unpacked first, Naoki will have something to distract him while the rest of them work on unpacking the apartment. 

He heads down the short hallway to Naoki's new room with Naoki hot on his heels, and plops cross-legged down on the floor when he gets there, pulling a box labelled "toys" over to him. He opens it up and starts pulling things out. Naoki watches for a minute, and then cries, "I help!" as he reaches a hand in and plucks out a handful of plushies. 

Yamato smiles at him. Naoki hasn't yet started speaking in longer sentences yet, mostly sticking to one or two words, but he's been talkative ever since his first word, and Yamato does whatever he can to encourage that. "Thank you, Naoki," he says, climbing to his feet. He opens Naoki's toy chest and begins arranging things neatly inside while Naoki continues to empty the box for him. 

Half an hour later, when the doorbell rings, they've made a decent dent into Naoki's belongings, and Yamato hopes it'll be enough to keep the small boy occupied. At twenty-one months, his son has turned out to be a very energetic child, always running and jumping around and wanting to be involved in everything Yamato does. Most of the time, Yamato doesn't mind, but today he's just wanting to get the unpacking done as fast as possible—moving, it turns out, is a huge pain. 

"Hey guys, thanks for helping me," he says, as he lets everyone in. Takeru looks around the apartment curiously, while Koushiro says, "It's no trouble at all." Taichi just grins at him meaningfully, raising his eyebrows, and Yamato rolls his eyes. He knows what Taichi's hoping for later. Well, he might give it to him. If Taichi helps him enough. 

"Where are we starting?" Takeru asks his brother, still looking around. He can't help but feeling a bit jealous of Yamato. He knows he's obviously not old enough to live on his own yet, but he can't wait for when he _is_. Mom's great, but she's always there when he is, and he never truly gets any time to himself. 

Yamato shrugs at him. "I was in Naoki's room, but really we can start anywhere. I'm hoping with four of us, we'll get most of it done today." 

"And what are we doing with Naoki?" 

He looks at Taichi, seemingly unconcerned. "I'm hoping he'll stay in his room and play with his toys I just unpacked..." 

Taichi actually laughs at that. Naoki hasn't sat still since he first learned to walk. "You actually think he will?" 

"He might," Yamato says, a touch defensively. Even though, really, he knows better. Naoki hates being left out of things. But he can hope, right? 

Taichi and Takeru both just look at him pointedly. Even Koushiro gives him a disbelieving look. He glares at them, though there's no real heat behind it. After a moment, he rolls his eyes. "There's no harm in trying. And he can always help us if he won't." 

"You're the boss," Taichi says flippantly, and Yamato gives him another half-hearted glare. 

They decide to finish up Naoki's room, and while they're in there, he's mostly content to sit in a corner and play with some of his toy cars, zooming them back in forth in straight lines. However, once they finish up and move into the kitchen, Naoki gets up and runs after them excitedly, his high pitched voice calling, "I help!" to them. 

Yamato sighs as Taichi looks at him with a smug 'I told you so' expression on his face. "Well, he sat for a little while," Yamato points out. 

"Wasn't that just because we were in there, though?" Takeru asks, sounding way too innocent. He's got a puzzled look on his face, but his brother doesn't buy it for a second. Taichi bursts out laughing, and Yamato glares fiercely at them both, irritated. He knows he's being a bit moody today, but he's tired from packing all his stuff and having to move it here, and then direct all the furniture for the movers, and he just wants everything to be _over_ with. 

"Maybe you can give him small tasks," Koushiro suggests peaceably, before the situation can really devolve. "Toddlers like to feel they're helping." He looks as if he's about to go into lecture mode, and that's the _last_ thing Yamato wants today. 

He cuts him off quickly, before the redhead can really get started. "Great idea, Koushiro. Thanks." He looks around the room, thinking for a minute, wondering what he can give Naoki to do that will be easy for him to handle and won't let his stuff be destroyed in the process. Another moment's thought, and he remembers a box, which after some digging he manages to pull out and put in front of his son. He slices it open with his box cutter, and then bends down to Naoki's level, looking him in the eye. "Naoki, will you help Daddy by pulling these out and handing them to Uncle Takeru?" he asks, demonstrating with one as he does so. 

Takeru takes the kitchen towel handed to him with a bewildered look, wondering what he's supposed to do with it. He looks to Taichi and Koushiro for help, but they just shrug at them. 

"Yes!" Naoki cries excitedly, and snatches up a towel with a chubby little fist, thrusting it at Takeru, who takes it as helplessly as he did the first. 

"Thank you, Naoki," Yamato says, and then gives his brother an amused look. "Stick them in a lower drawer somewhere, I don't care where. I can rearrange later if I need to." 

"Did Dad buy you all this stuff?" Takeru asks as he does just that, trying to keep up with the flurry of towels Naoki's handing him. "Woah, Naoki, baby, slow down a bit." 

"Some of it. For 'housewarming,' he said. But I bought a lot of it myself," Yamato admits. 

"The band's making that much money?" Taichi asks, eyebrows raised in surprise. "With what? I mean, you guys are still just an indie band, right?" 

Yamato colours a bit. It still feels weird to him, to actually be making money off the band and use it for things other than just equipment—to use it to _live_ off of. He remembers his dad calling it his 'job' before Naoki was born, and he had agreed, but still—it's hard to think of it that way sometimes. He knows it's work, but a lot of times it just doesn't feel like it. "We get a lot of money off merch sells," he mumbles. 

"Damn. Maybe I should start my own band. We could be rivals. Hey, Koushiro," Taichi calls across the room to the boy who's been unpacking and ignoring them this whole time. "Wanna join my band? We could call ourselves 'The Soccer Genius and Computer Geek,' or the SGCG for short!" 

Koushiro splutters unintelligibly for a few moments, ignoring the plates he'd been unwrapping, and then manages to get out, "What kind of name is that?!" 

"What's wrong with it?" Taichi asks, sounding hurt. He adopts a sad look on his face, but no one is fooled. 

"It's horrible!" 

"I am _wounded_ , Koushiro. Fine, you don't get to join my band. Hey, Takeru," he starts with a grin, turning to the younger blond. 

"Don't think so," Takeru tells him, laughter lacing his tone even as he continues to put away things. "Yamato would never forgive me." 

"Damn straight, little brother," Yamato says, and then glances at Naoki with a guilty look. Thankfully, the little boy is ignoring him, still pulling soft things out of the box—he's finished the towels, and has moved on to washcloths and sponges. 

"You guys suck," Taichi declares, trying to pout—but there's a wide smile on his face that ruins the effect. 

Yamato rolls his eyes. Why had he thought this would go fast? Taichi is as bad as Naoki sometimes, easily distracted and often getting off-task—it had driven Yamato crazy when they were eleven and stuck in the Digital World together. Now he's used to it, but that doesn't always mean he'll tolerate it. "Can we finish unpacking before the day ends, please?" 

"Yes sir, Mr. Grumpy," Taichi teases him, sticking out his tongue. Yamato just sighs, but he's not really mad, and Taichi knows it. 

They work quickly after that, still laughing and joking around with each other from time to time. Naoki is constantly moving, running around after them when they move to new rooms, wanting to help Daddy, and sometimes going to his room to drag out new toys to play with when he gets bored or Yamato can't find anything for him to do. He realises that Naoki has missed his nap, and hopes he won't have a cranky toddler on his hands before bedtime. He really does not want to have to deal with that. Unfortunately, after a couple more hours, Naoki does indeed start getting fussy, and he prepares himself to pull away from packing and deal with his son, when Takeru swoops in and saves the day. 

He grabs some of the empty boxes they'd tossed aside, then heads into the living room and calls out to the toddler. "Naoki, come help your Uncle Takeru!" 

Yamato's not sure what Takeru's got planned, but he nods at the boy when he looks at him uncertainly, seeking his dad's permission. "Go on, Naoki." 

Naoki toddles down the hall and into the living room as fast as his little legs will carry him, eager now to see what his uncle has planned for him. Yamato resolves to buy Takeru a thank-you gift of some sort later when he hears the shrieks of laughter not long after. He goes back to unpacking, pulling his clothes from bags and handing them to Koushiro to hang in his closet, since he doesn't trust Taichi to hang them nicely. 

When they finish the room half an hour later and head back to the living room, they're all surprised to see the rather intricate box fort Takeru and Naoki have managed to build. Takeru has managed to find scissors and tape somewhere apparently, and has cut the tops to look like a castle and taped all the boxes together. Naoki's in the center of them with a crudely-made cardboard shield, giggling and peeking through a cut out window at Takeru, who's pretending to invade the makeshift castle with an equally as crude cardboard sword. Yamato mentally ups the amount of money for Takeru's thank-you gift. 

"Impressive," Yamato remarks, and Takeru glances up at him, blushing a bit. 

"We had a box fort once when we were little, remember?" he says. "Dad helped us build it." 

Yamato shakes his head, trying to recall it, but having no memory of it. He assumes it must have been before their parents divorced though, because by the time they were able to really see each other again for any length of time, Yamato had been too old to care about box forts. "Not really," he says. "I'm surprised you do, you couldn't have been very old." 

"It was one of the last times Dad was able to just play with both of us together," Takeru says dismissively, and Yamato grimaces. They're older now, old enough to understand why their parents couldn't stay together, and move past all the hurt the divorce brought, but bits of it still linger in them both. 

Naoki charges suddenly, rushing at Takeru with his shield in front of him, yelling, and Takeru pretends to go down. "Oh no! You've killed me!" he cries, throwing a hand over his heart dramatically. "The castle is yours now!" 

Naoki burbles with laughter, stealing Takeru's sword and holding it up gleefully. He glances at his dad, eyes shining, and Yamato smiles at his son, his heart swelling to see his son so happy. "Good job, Naoki," he praises him warmly, and Naoki drops the sword and shield and runs over to him, hugging his legs tightly. Yamato bends down, picking him up in a real hug. 

Takeru climbs to his feet, no longer dead, and picks up the hat that had fallen off his head when he'd dropped. "I should probably be going. I told Mom I wouldn't stay out too late." 

"Yes, me too," Koushiro chimes in with an apologetic look. 

Yamato waves them away. "Don't worry about it. We got a lot done today. Thank you guys. I owe you." 

They finish saying their goodbyes and he watches them leave from the doorway, only shutting the door when they're both out of sight. Once they're gone, he turns to Taichi, who's looking at him hopefully. "Help me get Naoki fed and to bed and we can have some alone time," he says exasperatedly, and Taichi whoops and rushes to the kitchen, Naoki running after him. 

He watches them for a moment with a small grin. He has to admit he's looking forward to it as well. There's been little chances for them since they started dating. With Taichi's mom not working, she's almost always home, and when she's not, Hikari often is. They don't share a room like when they were kids, but, well, it's still awkward. And as for his own apartment, well, his Dad may be at work during the day, but when they're not in school he's always got Naoki to take care of. 

"Yamato! Get in here and make us dinner! We're starving and helpless!" Taichi yells, and Yamato laughs and goes to do just that. 

That evening, after they've finally gotten an overly tired and very fussy Naoki to bed in his new room, they wind up doing a bit of celebrating for the new apartment on Yamato's new grey flannel sofa. Yamato buries his face into the decorative pillow when he comes, muffling his cries so as not to wake Naoki. He trembles through the aftershocks as Taichi continues to thrust, reaching his own orgasm a few minutes later, burying his face into the hollow of Yamato's shoulder, doing his best not to make noise. 

"We definitely need to do this more often," Taichi mumbles a few minutes later as he slides out of Yamato and stands on shaking legs. 

"Mmm." Yamato feels boneless, and satiated, and thinks about just lying there until he falls asleep, but he still needs to see Taichi off, and unpack a few more things before he goes to bed himself. He sits up with a groan, wiping sweaty strands of hair out of his face. "I've got an apartment now," he says around a yawn. "Shouldn't be too hard." 

He follows Taichi down the hall to the bathroom, where they both quickly clean up, and then dart back into the living room to get dressed. Taichi gives him a quick kiss before he leaves, and then Yamato's alone. He shuts the door and goes inside to keep unpacking. 

* * *

Yamato's head feels like it's going to split open. He really, _really_ does not have time for this. Naoki's wailing at the top of his lungs, the sound drilling into Yamato's skull. It's been a week since he's moved into his new apartment, and it's the first day of classes for his first year at university, and he has to get Naoki all the way over to Taichi's—since Koushiro's mom had gone back to work with a new job, Mrs. Yagami had offered to babysit instead—and then get himself back over here to the university. 

"Bunny!" Naoki screams, and Yamato takes a deep breath and tries not to scream himself. 

"Naoki, I don't have time to find your bunny," he says desperately. Somehow his son has managed to lose his favourite stuffed animal in between yesterday evening and this morning. And of course, he's decided that today he absolutely _can't_ leave the house without it. Yamato's patience is wearing thin, and he doesn't know what to do. He's already tried looking for the stupid thing, but of course it's nowhere to be found. 

"Bunny! Bunny!" Naoki sobs, and for a brief hysterical moment he wonders how Naoki would react if he just started crying along with him. It must be so easy, to be a toddler and be able to cry whenever you want and have people just brush it aside. 

"Naoki, I promise I will look for your bunny this afternoon, but right now Daddy has to be somewhere very important soon, and I need to take you to Yuuko's so I'm not late." 

Naoki just looks at him, his lower lip trembling, eyes big and full of tears, and Yamato groans and begins to sweep the house again, this time lifting up cushions and mattresses and opening cabinets, praying to whatever gods might exist that he finds the damn bunny. Ten minutes later, he actually does—wedged tightly behind one of the bookcases in the living room. He doesn't even question it, just carefully extracts the thing and shoves it at his crying son, who quiets down immediately. He hurries to grab his school stuff and Naoki's diaper bag and then rushes out, trying to reach the subway quickly. Luckily he doesn't live too far from the station that will take him to Odaiba, but it's still a long enough commute. 

When he finally drops Naoki off at the Yagami apartment, Taichi is already gone. He's annoyed, as they had made plans to ride the subway to the university together, since they have all but one class together this term. But then he glances at his watch and curses, realising he's going to be late. On his very first day of class. It's not a good start. He takes off running, and reaches the platform at the station just as the train's pulling away. He groans, and waits impatiently for the next one, cursing that stupid toy bunny in his head. 

He finally walks into class nearly an hour later. He's ten minutes late. The professor's at the front of the room when he steps in, presumably going over the syllabus, but he stops as Yamato creeps to an open seat next to Taichi, his face red as everyone in the class turns to watch him. 

"Name?" the professor asks once he's seated, looking annoyed. 

"Ishida Yamato," he answers coolly, though inside he still feels terribly embarrassed. 

"You're late," the professor remarks as he picks up a sheet of paper from his podium and scans it, eventually ticking off what Yamato assumes is his name. 

"Yes sir, I know. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." He feels like an idiot as the professor stares at him silently for long moments, before he finally hands a girl in the front row a syllabus to pass back to him. 

"See that it doesn't," he finally says. "I don't tolerate tardiness." 

He nods and ducks his head, looking at the syllabus he's been given, willing the colour in his cheeks to fade as the professor resumes speaking, saying something about attendance. Yamato wants to listen, but he feels too humiliated still. He doesn't regret keeping Naoki, not for a second, but sometimes he can't help but wonder how different his life might be without him. Then, like always, he feels guilty for the thought, and resolves not to contemplate it. 

After a few minutes, Taichi decides it's safe enough to talk, and hisses at Yamato. "What happened?" 

"I'll explain later," he tries to whisper back, but the rush of blood in his head from running to class hasn't quite abated, and the words come out louder than he means them to. Their professor—Dr. Kanada, according to the top of the syllabus—stops talking once more, and glares darkly at him. It's intimidating. The man's unusually tall, and thin, and combined with his chin-length black hair and dark brown eyes, he looks menacing as he lurks by the table Yamato's seated at. Students turn to look again, and he wishes more than anything that he could slink under that table and hide until class is over. 

"Mr. Ishida," the man hisses at him. "If I have one more interruption from you, you will be leaving this classroom and will be very lucky to ever come back in it. Is that understood?" 

"Yes, sir," he mumbles, and he can't help but sink down in his seat, just a little. The man gives him one last glare, and then turns away again to continue going over the syllabus. Taichi gives him an apologetic glance, but wisely doesn't say anything else. As soon as class is over, he's grabbing up his bag and practically running out of the room as fast as possible, ignoring Taichi's startled cries of "Wait up!" until he's out of the building. 

On the way to their next class, he tells Taichi what happened, still fuming at the annoyance of it all—and he's still got a headache from Naoki's cries. Luckily his last two classes go well. He meets up with Taichi after the last one, and they ride the subway back to Odaiba, each chatting about how their last class—the one they don't have together—went. He picks up Naoki from Taichi's, and then all three of them head down to the park, where they're meeting up with all of the other Chosen. 

"Yamato! Taichi!" Sora calls when she spots them. She waves her arms at them, and they head over to the tree the others are under. 

"Wow, Naoki's gotten big!" Daisuke exclaims as Yamato sets his son down. Naoki looks at him curiously, gnawing on one of the raggedy brown ears of the bunny he'd thrown such a fit over. Yamato winces, wishing he'd break that habit, but nothing he's tried has worked. His dad says he'll grow out of it eventually, but Yamato's skeptical. 

"Hi Naoki," Daisuke says, waving at the little boy. "Do you remember me? I'm Daisuke." 

"Daisuke, he hasn't seen you in four months." 

"So? I remember him." 

"You're not one and a half years old, either," Yamato points out exasperatedly. 

"Well he'll remember me soon enough," Daisuke says cheerfully, completely unconcerned, and Yamato just rolls his eyes. 

Jou runs up to them then, bending over, hands resting on his knees as he pants for breath. "Sorry I'm late!" he gasps. "My class ran longer than it was supposed to—" 

"There wasn't a set time, Jou," Sora tells him, fond amusement in her voice. It's nice to see that even as they're all growing up, some things still never change. "Sit down before you fall over." 

Jou does so sheepishly, catching sight of Naoki as he stretches his legs out, leaning against the large tree trunk. "He's gotten so big!" he says as soon as he's got his breath back. 

"He won't remember you," Yamato says promptly, and Jou gives him a strange look. 

"Of course not," Jou says, his tone saying 'isn't that obvious?' "He's only one and a half, and it's been a few months." 

Daisuke turns red as Takeru, Miyako, and Taichi all start snickering at him. Hikari pats his arm consolingly, but even she looks like she wants to laugh. 

Yamato pulls a few toys out of the diaper bag to occupy Naoki while they all talk and catch up. 

"How _is_ Naoki doing, with the move and all?" Takeru asks him. "Mom keeps asking me when you're going to bring 'her cute little grandson' back over for a visit." He makes a face, remembering the baby voice his mom always uses when talking about Naoki. It's definitely enough to put him off having children for many years to come. He doesn't know how Yamato can stand it sometimes. 

"She just saw him two weeks ago!" Yamato says incredulously, but Takeru shrugs. 

"You know Mom," he says. 

Yamato sighs; he does know. "Tell her he's fine," he says. "Although he did have an incredibly annoying meltdown this morning." There's aggravation in his voice just mentioning it. It's certainly not the first fit Naoki's thrown, but it's been the worst so far. He's heard talk of the 'terrible twos' before, but had always assumed people were exaggerating. He's starting to rethink that position. 

Sora gives him a sympathetic look. "Oh no, what happened?" 

Yamato sighs. "He couldn't find his bunny, and refused to leave without it. I had to search the apartment two separate times—for a good ten minutes both times—before I found it. I was late to my first class and the professor was livid. He almost threw me out of the classroom." 

"Yikes," Miyako said with a shudder. "Remind me not to go to university." 

"What class was it?" Jou asked curiously, shoving his glasses up on his nose absently. 

"Literature 101." 

"Dr. Kanada?" 

"You've had him?" 

"Yeah, your best bet is to just keep your head down and do all of your work." 

Yamato groans. "Great." 

They spend a couple hours after that continuing to catch up with each other, exchanging funny or annoyed stories of how their first days went, until eventually Naoki wanders back up to Yamato, bored and fussy. Yamato packs up his stuff, waving goodbye to everybody before grabbing his son's small hand. 

"I'll see you in the morning?" he asks Taichi, and Taichi nods, standing and giving him a quick kiss, which makes some of the younger Chosen whistle at them. 

"Oh stop it, you guys," Sora tells them. Yamato just grins and begins heading towards the station. 

* * *

Tuesday night, Yamato's woken somewhere around one am by Naoki's crying. Groggy, he nonetheless feels alarmed and rushes into the boy's room, flipping on the light and looking around, picking up Naoki and checking him over, trying to figure out what's wrong. "What is it, Naoki? What's wrong, baby?" 

Naoki just keeps crying, holding his arms out for his daddy to pick him up, to which Yamato obliges, hugging him tight and doing his best to soothe him. Eventually he decides Naoki's likely had a bad dream, since nothing else seems wrong with him. "It's okay, baby," he says. "I know it was scary, but it's just a bad dream." He doubts his son will really understand yet, but that doesn't stop him from explaining. 

After awhile Naoki's cries taper off into a few soft sobs, and Yamato sets him back down in his crib, tucking him in and looking around for his bunny. He finds it down at the end and grabs it, nestling it into the crook of the little boy's arm. He makes a show of checking the closet and under the crib for anything scary, saying, "See? Everything's safe. Daddy won't let anything get you." Then he checks the nightlight and realises the bulb's blown, so he gets the one from the bathroom for now, making a note to buy new bulbs later. 

He tries to leave then, but Naoki's cries start to intensify again, so he sighs and grabs a book at random off the small shelf above the toy chest, opening it up and beginning to read. 

When he finally makes it back to his room, it's almost three in the morning. He has to be up at six to have time to get Naoki ready and over to the Yagami apartment and then get back over to the university for his first class at nine. He reminds himself he wanted this, and then crawls back in bed for a few more hours of sleep. 

When he gets back up with his alarm, he's exhausted—he almost thinks he's more tired now than if he had just stayed up through the rest of the night. He drags around the apartment, trying to will himself to wake up more, but his limbs feel heavy and his eyes keep wanting to close. He wonders if he offered to pay enough, would his dad take Naoki for a week? 

He starts a pot of coffee and then goes to get Naoki from his crib. "Eat!" Naoki says with a happy grin, raising his arms up as Yamato walks in. 

"Well at least one of us is awake," he mutters, picking the child up. He gets him dressed and then lets Naoki follow him to the kitchen, where he feeds him some breakfast while he drowns himself in coffee. It helps, but not enough. When he rings the doorbell for the Yagami apartment a bit later, Taichi takes one look at him and raises an eyebrow. 

"Did you even sleep?" he asks. 

"Maybe five or six hours, but it was interrupted in the middle," Yamato says, covering his mouth as a yawn unexpectedly escapes. "This one—" jerking his head towards the toddler beside him "—had a bad dream and made me stay with him for two hours until he calmed down and went back to sleep." 

"Is it too late to give him back?" Taichi asks, teasing. 

Yamato simply groans as he heads inside and sets the diaper bag down, relieved to have the weight off his shoulder. "Don't tempt me." He hands Naoki off to Yuuko's care, accepting the cup of coffee she presses on him gratefully. He downs it quickly, handing the empty cup back to her with a thanks. 

"You boys have a good day at school!" she calls as they leave, running to make it to the station. 

"He's going to kill me if I'm late to his class for the second time," Yamato complains as they board. "Especially since this is only the second class!" 

"We'll make it," Taichi says, looking at his watch. "Barely." 

Yamato's not sure, but they do, with two minutes to spare. Dr. Kanada ignores Taichi in favour of glaring at Yamato, who's sliding into his seat as unobtrusively as possible. 

"Late night?" he asks, the snark in his tone making even some of the other students look up in surprise. "Stay up half the night partying?" 

Yamato's angry, and thinks about telling him just what has him so tired, but he remembers what Jou told him, and he definitely doesn't want to make a scene, so he keeps his head bowed demurely as he answers. "No, sir." 

Thankfully, Dr. Kanada doesn't say anything else, and Yamato's able to pull out his books as the professor begins calling roll. He says nothing as the class goes on, just takes as many notes as possible and gives his best impression of paying complete attention. An hour and a half later, they're finally leaving. When they're far enough away that it seems safe to talk, Taichi looks at him. "Why didn't you say anything to him?" he asks. "Tell him why you were almost late?" 

Yamato's surprised that Taichi seems annoyed on his behalf. He doesn't think it's that big of a deal to get worked up over. He simply shrugs. "He's already made up his mind about me, Taichi. It's not worth it." 

Taichi's still annoyed—Yamato can get passionate about plenty of things, not all of them necessary sometimes, but occasionally he'll remain passive about something he should be worked up over—this seems to be one of those times. He lets it go, though, not wanting to get in an argument with his boyfriend when it's still relatively early in the day. So he changes the subject. "Are we still on for our date Saturday?" he asks, though Yamato's never cancelled on him before. 

"Of course," Yamato says, flashing him a smile, and they go into their next class. 

* * *

Late Friday afternoon, the band meets up for practice, having to wait until Yamato and Ratsuii were done with classes. Both Nyusumi and Kenji had decided against university, wanting to focus solely on their music. They meet at Ny's house, since he has the biggest place of all of them, and because Kenji keeps his drums there, not wanting to always lug them around. Yuuko has agreed to keep Naoki for a couple extra hours, with the understanding that she can run him over to Hiroaki if Yamato runs late. 

Nyusumi's twin sister, Emiko, lets Yamato in. She doesn't talk much, but Yamato greets her with a smile anyway. "Hey Emi," he says easily. "Ny upstairs?" She blinks, and then nods at him, twirling a finger in her bright pink hair. "Okay, thanks!" he calls, already heading that way. Ny had told him once that she'd been through some sort of trauma when she was younger, and no longer trusts most people, which is why she doesn't talk much. He'd never said what that trauma was. Yamato doesn't mind. He doesn't see the need to pry. He knows most people find Emi strange, but he likes her, in spite of her silence. He's heard her talk to Ny enough to know that she's smart, and snarky, and clearly loves her twin brother. 

"Hey guys," he says, letting himself into Ny's room with a quick knock. He's the last one to arrive. He sets his guitar case and his backpack down as Kenji runs over and jumps on him, giving him a hug and yelling his name happily. Yamato pushes at him. "Get off, you nut," he says with a grin, and Kenji grins back. 

"But it's been so long!" Kenji says. 

"Yeah, because last Friday was _such_ a lifetime ago." 

"It really is! I'm glad you understand, Yamato. Where's our mascot?" 

Yamato sighs, the conversation old and familiar. "He's at Taichi's, and he's not our mascot." 

Kenji does his best to give him a dubious look, slightly belied by the amusement sparkling in his hazel eyes. "If you say so." 

Yamato ignores him in favour of pulling his song journal out of his school bag. "We're still wanting to release the new album this summer, right?" he asks, directing his question towards Ny, who nods. "Okay, well I've got a couple new songs I thought we could try out, maybe use for the album if we like them. I'm still working on some more, but maybe we could also use one of them as a single, if we all like a particular one enough." 

"Sure, let's see them," Ny says, and Yamato hands the copies of the songs he'd made over, joining the other three as they crowd around Ny to look. He could have just handed his journal over, but he absolutely refuses to. It's too private, too intimate, full of lyrics that are too personal to share with anyone, not even the band. He never lets anyone else touch his song journal, not even Taichi. 

"These look good," Ny finally says seriously, looking up at him in approval. 

"I think you mean 'amazing,'" Ratsuii says, and Yamato blushes. "Do you have any melodies in mind or are they just lyrics?" 

"Uh, I've got some music in mind for a couple of them. I can sing them." 

All three of them nod at him, so he grabs his actual journal and opens it up to the songs, looking briefly at the music notes he'd scribbled down, then takes a deep breath and begins singing the first one. The music's rough, and he stumbles over the lyrics a few times, not having memorised them yet, but there's still a momentary hush when he finishes, before Kenji grins and begins clapping, the other two quickly joining. "Can I have your autograph?" Kenji asks, snatching a pen off Ny's desk and thrusting it at him. 

Yamato rolls his eyes. "Please, you flatter me so," he says, deadpan, and Kenji snickers. 

"Really, that was amazing." Ratsuii repeats his words of earlier. "I could definitely see us using that for a single." 

"Thanks," Yamato says, the tips of his ears flushing a bit. He's pleased with the praise. He'd worked hard on those songs. He flips to the next song in his journal and begins to sing that one for them. Once he's finished them all, they pick the one they like best and begin fleshing out the music, alternating between scribbling down notes and actually picking up their instruments to try out various pieces. A couple hours of hard work later, they've got the makings of the first song for their single. 

"Good job, guys," Ny says as Ratsuii and Yamato start packing their guitars away. "I'll run by this Daichi soon, see what he thinks of it." 

"Great," Yamato says wearily, slinging his guitar case over one shoulder and his school bag over the other. "See you guys soon." He lets himself out and starts trekking in the direction of the Yagami apartment to get Naoki. 

* * *

The next morning he's sipping at a cup of coffee, eyes half-focused while he still tries to wake up, when suddenly Naoki begins crying loudly, jolting him out of his leftover dreams. He looks over to see Naoki's sippy cup on its side and orange dribbles all down the front of his shirt. He sighs and sets down his mug, wetting a few paper towels to clean the toddler up. "Naoki baby, don't cry," he says, voice still fogged with sleep. "It's okay, I know it was just an accident. We can clean it, we can get you a new shirt, it's not worth tears." 

Of course Naoki doesn't listen to him. He just continues to sob, big crocodile tears sliding down his chubby cheeks and splashing onto the tray of his high chair. Yamato inwardly groans, not awake enough to want to deal with this, but having no choice. He does his best to clean up the little boy, then picks him up out of his chair and carries him into his bedroom, quickly changing him into a new shirt. "See? Daddy made it all better." 

Naoki looks down at himself, not seeing a mess anymore, and then tentatively gives Yamato a smile. Yamato carries him back into the kitchen and scrubs at his face, wiping away the tears and then getting him a new cup. Naoki takes it happily. "Drink," he says. 

"Yes, that's your drink." 

Naoki sips at it, and Yamato goes back to his now cold coffee in peace. 

* * *

The movie turns out to be lame. The lunch is great. Yamato's favourite part of the date, though, and he's pretty sure it's Taichi's too, is when they go back to his apartment for a couple hours of alone time. He comes at least twice—he loses track a little bit, because everything feels fantastic and his refractory period is being really generous today. Eventually though, he knows he has to go get Naoki back from his dad's, since he promised not to leave him all day. They get dressed reluctantly and hop the subway. Taichi goes with him, since his own building is only right next door. 

His dad greets them with a tired smile. "Hi, guys. Did you have a nice time?" 

Taichi grins—he's had more than a nice time. The things Yamato can do with his tongue... "Definitely," he tells Mr. Ishida. 

"Taichi!" Yamato hisses in embarrassment, elbowing him. He rolls his eyes at his dad. "Don't mind him." 

Mr. Ishida just smiles knowingly at them, choosing not remark on anything as he lets them in. Yamato feels his face turning red and quickly changes the subject. "Naoki ready to go?" 

"Daddy!" comes the sudden enthusiastic cry, answering that question pretty clearly. 

"Hi baby," he says, leaning down to swoop his son up in a big hug. "Did you have a good time with grandpa? Did you behave for him?" 

Naoki giggles. "I'll take that as a yes," Yamato tells him. 

"He was fine. No tantrums." 

"Lucky you," Yamato mutters. "Thanks for watching him, Dad." 

"It's no problem. I like spending time with my favourite grandson." 

"You better say only, or before you know it Takeru might start giving you some." 

His dad clutches a hand over his heart, looking terrified. "He better not. He's too young." 

"Same age I was when I made this one," Yamato points out, hefting Naoki's weight to his other arm. 

Mr. Ishida shudders, scary thoughts of more grandchildren passing through his mind. No, one is definitely enough for now. "I better give Takeru an extra special talk." 

Yamato smirks, and Taichi bursts out laughing. "On that note, I better go home," he says. "Mom will start wondering what happened to me." 

"We need to go too, before Naoki starts getting cranky," Yamato says, shouldering the diaper bag his dad passes to him. "Thanks again, Dad." 

His dad waves him away. "Come back soon. Both of you, or all three of you even." 

When they're outside Taichi's apartment, they pause and look at each other. "See you Monday?" Taichi asks. 

Yamato nods. "Yep." He leans over for a quick goodbye kiss. 

"Kiss!" Naoki cries when they pull apart, making little grabby motions with his hands towards Yamato's face. "Kiss!" 

Taichi chuckles at the little boy's antics, and Yamato gives his son a quick kiss on the cheek before heading home.


	2. Drink It Down

"You need to have your topic and thesis statement ready to turn into me by next Monday. I will _not_ accept any late assignments, no matter what your excuse is," Dr. Kanada says, staring directly at Yamato.

He feels his face heat up, both in embarrassment and anger at being singled out. The one assignment they had last week he turned in on time, and he's done all of his readings for the class. He really doesn't understand this guy's problem. 

"What is that guy's problem with you?" Taichi asks as they're heading to their second class. 

Yamato shakes his head as he shifts his bag, wishing he knew. "He's just a dick," he mutters. He doesn't want to waste time thinking on it, he just wants to enjoy the rest of his day. 

Just as they get to the classroom, his phone vibrates in his pocket, indicating a new text. _Laying tracks for single Saturday. Two songs._ Yamato sighs. The news is another aggravation, and the last thing he wants to hear right now in his current mood. 

"Bad news?" Taichi asks. 

He shakes his head again, letting out another sigh as some of his hair falls into his eyes. "Just Ny. We're laying down the tracks for our new single on Saturday." 

"That's good news, isn't it?" Taichi asks, raising his eyebrow. Usually Yamato is excited about anything related to his band. He can't understand why this text would make his boyfriend sigh like that. 

"Yeah, it is, sort of, just..." Yamato makes a face. "He didn't actually ask if the day was okay. What if we'd had a date or something?" 

"But we don't," Taichi points out, confused. 

"I know, but we could have, and..." Yamato stops, seeing the look of confusion on Taichi's face. He's not up to explaining today. "Never mind." 

"Okay..." Taichi's not sure what the problem is, but clearly Yamato doesn't want to discuss it. He decides to leave it alone. 

* * *

The first Saturday in May is Children's Day. Naoki was too young to bother with celebrating it last year, but this year Yamato makes sure to get a few different koi flags for the apartment. He hangs the larger one outside by himself, but the other smaller ones he lets Naoki help with, putting some rods and hooks in and then hoisting Naoki up to loop the flags on them, knowing the ceiling fans will be enough to keep them flying. 

He has to look up the lyrics to remember everything clearly, but he teaches the koinobori song to Naoki while they do the flags, and afterwards Naoki runs around the apartment, stripping down to just his diaper while he sings it in mostly gibberish at the top of his lungs. Yamato isn't quite sure why he feels the need to take all his clothes off while singing, but he's pleased his son is enjoying himself nonetheless. 

Later that afternoon, he gets Naoki dressed again, and the two of them go out for some kashiwa mochi. He has to stop the boy from eating the oak leaves, explaining that they're not made for eating, but Naoki seems to enjoy the treat, getting plenty of red bean paste all over his face and hands. Luckily Yamato keeps wipes in the diaper bag for just this reason, and he easily cleans the mess before they go to a nearby park with a playground where Naoki tires himself out running around with the other children there and having a great time. 

All in all, Yamato considers the day a success, and enjoys the chance he's had to just spend time with his son—he's so often busy with school and the band and homework that he doesn't spend nearly as much time with Naoki as he'd like. He remembers how he had felt when he was younger, watching his dad always have to go off to work to provide for them when he just wanted him to stay home and play sometimes. He doesn't want that for Naoki. He just hopes he can be there for his son when Naoki needs him. 

* * *

Yamato gets home Sunday night feeling completely exhausted. The band's spent the day shooting the promotional video for the new single, constantly doing take after take. They're not even done—they'll have to shoot tomorrow after classes, and probably Tuesday as well. Naoki's spent the day with Natsuko, and he doesn't seem to have minded—he had a lot of fun with grandma and Uncle Takeru—but Yamato feels bad for not being able to spend time with him nonetheless. 

It's only when he's gotten Naoki to bed and is preparing to collapse into his own that he remembers the assignment. That stupid, pointless assignment for their paper, to come up with a topic and thesis statement—that assignment he can't make up if he doesn't turn it into tomorrow, that assignment that will make Dr. Kanada hate him even more if he doesn't turn it in tomorrow. 

Fuck. 

Groaning, he grabs his bag and heads over to his desk, pulling out his notebook and a pen. He's worn out, and not at all in the mood to think about appropriate topics, so he puts down the first thing that comes to mind and then scribbles out a quick thesis statement. He's not sure Dr. Kanada will be happy with it—but then, the man doesn't seem to like him anyway, and at least now he has something to turn in. 

Still, when he gets the paper back Wednesday, it's disheartening to see a slew of words in red all over the top of the paper, telling him the topic is awful and something the professor would expect a grade-schooler to come up with, not a student in university. He lets out a small sigh, but he knows he does deserve it at least somewhat, since he didn't put much thought into it. He'll just have to come up with something better tonight. 

He puts Naoki to bed early and then sits down at his desk, blocking out everything around him as he focuses on coming up with a better idea. Finally something comes to him, and he starts the rough draft. He spends the rest of the week working on it, putting more effort into it than he put even into any of his entrance exams for high school and university, or at least that's how it feels. He turns it in Friday with a sense of accomplishment, certain it's a good paper and that even if Dr. Kanada doesn't like him, he'll still have to give him the high grade he deserves. 

Saturday morning Taichi comes over early, and the two of them take Naoki to the Kanda Festival. Naoki loves watching the main procession through the streets of Tokyo, delighted by all the traditional costumes and shrines. Yamato has the small boy up on his shoulders, and several times Naoki grabs at his hair in excitement, making him wince. 

"Want me to take him for a bit?" Taichi asks after a particularly hard tug that has Yamato unable to hold back a small cry of pain. 

He hesitates, and then shakes his head. "No, it's fine. He'd probably get lost in your hair." 

"Hey!" Taichi protests indignantly, but Yamato just grins cheekily at him. 

Lunch is some of the festival food from the various stands set up nearby. Yamato usually enjoys cooking—or at least doesn't mind it—but it's nice to not have to worry about making food for once, and Naoki seems to be happy for the chance to eat things he doesn't usually get at home, although as usual he winds up wearing half of it instead of eating it. 

Taichi looks over at Yamato with a content smile shortly after they're done eating, or at least the two of them are. Naoki's up on Yamato's shoulders again, gnawing on some okonomiyaki. Yamato smiles back at him, feeling pretty happy himself, but suddenly Taichi lets out a snort of laughter, making him feel immediately self-conscious. "What?" he asks defensively, wondering if he has food on his face or something. 

"There's bits of cabbage, egg, and pork in your hair," Taichi says, still chuckling as he looks at him again. 

Yamato just sighs, not in the least surprised. "I should have known better than to put him back up there while he's still eating." 

"Here, give him to me. You can duck into one of the shops and fix your precious hair." 

Yamato glares at him, but does as Taichi suggests. Naoki fusses momentarily at being passed off, but settles again once he's firmly ensconced on Taichi's shoulders. When Yamato gets back, they wander the streets some, and then Naoki suddenly lets out a shriek, yanking fistfuls of Taichi's hair happily. 

"Ow ow ow!" Taichi exclaims as he reaches up and tries to free his hair, glaring at his boyfriend's unrepentant laughter. "Yeah, we'll see who's laughing later..." he mumbles. 

"Dwum!" Naoki exclaims loudly, and the two adults look around in confusion for a bit before the sounds of a drum filter back to them. 

Taichi lifts an eyebrow, surprise evident in his eyes that Naoki could hear that and know what it is. "That has to be a couple streets over. Your kid must have excellent hearing. How'd he even know what it is?" 

Yamato shrugs. "I'm a musician. Instruments and the sounds they make is one of the first things I taught him when he started speaking." 

They start wandering again, following the sound, eventually coming across a taiko drum performance. Naoki seems captivated by the big drums and the colourful happi coats the performers are wearing, and Taichi's sure he's going to be bald by the end of the day. 

After a bit with Taichi constantly flinching at every tug, Yamato takes pity on him. "Here, I'll take him back." 

"No, he's enjoying himself. And your hair is too pretty for you to go bald." 

Yamato snickers. "You won't go bald." 

"Sure feels like it." 

They watch some of the afternoon procession, all three of them enjoying the samurai on horseback, along with the dancers and various floats, and when they've at last had enough, they begin to head back home. Naoki's head is starting to droop, worn out from all the fun and excitement of the day, so Yamato takes him back from Taichi, carrying him in his arms, and Naoki falls asleep, his head against Yamato's shoulder, drool wetting his yukata. 

"I had a good time today," Taichi says as they walk, smiling at him. 

Yamato smiles back. "Me too." 

"I bet he did too," Taichi says with a laugh, gesturing at the sleeping boy in Yamato's arms. 

Yamato looks down at his son with a fond smile. He's glad to be able to have days like this with him. He just wants more than anything for his son to be happy. He feels lacking, sometimes, that his son doesn't have a mother, and worries that Naoki will one day resent him for choosing to raise him alone. So he does the best that he can, working hard to make up for the fact that it's just him, and hopes every day that Naoki will forgive him for his choice. Days like this make him think it's possible. "Yeah," he says to Taichi. "I think he did." 

* * *

Taichi's birthday is Monday, so all the Chosen get together the day before to celebrate it with him. They hold the gathering at Koushiro's house, as his house has somehow become the de-facto party house for everyone. 

The day promises to be pretty low-key, not too different from when they hang out for no particular reason, except this time there's cake and presents involved. However, the first present is given as soon as everyone arrives, bursting out of Koushiro's room with an excited cry. 

"Taichi!" 

"Agumon!" Taichi exclaims, a wide smile splitting his face. He holds out his arms and Agumon rushes into them, the two of them hugging and laughing. 

The rest of the Digimon run out soon after that, quickly finding their partners and having mini-reunions with everyone. 

"Thank you, Koushiro," Taichi says, knowing who is likely responsible for organising this surprise. 

Koushiro blushes, scratching at his head in embarrassment. "Well, it was really Yamato's idea," he says. "I just pulled it off." 

Taichi immediately crosses the room to where Yamato's standing, arms crossed and a smug look on his face, and kisses him long and hard in front of everyone. A few whistles and catcalls ring out, making Yamato blush when Taichi finally lets him go. "Thank you, Yamato," Taichi says seriously, his eyes shining with happiness. 

"Happy birthday, Taichi," Yamato says in return. 

They all have a great time after that, talking and laughing and playing games, snacking on several party foods Koushiro's mom has prepared for them. They play truth or dare, teaching their Digimon how it works, and peals of laughter are constantly ringing out as the dares get increasingly ridiculous, especially from the Digimon, who can't quite seem to get the hang of the game. 

"How about Never Have I Ever?" Sora eventually suggests, when they get bored of thinking up dares for each other. 

"Isn't that a drinking game?" Miyako asks with a frown. 

"Yeah, Jou's the only one of us here that can legally drink..." Daisuke says with a pout. 

"I don't drink," Iori volunteers. 

"No one is making you drink, Iori," Sora reassures the fourteen year old. "Only those that want to drink can, the rest of you can just drink soda." 

"I'm down with that," Taichi says with a grin, slinging an arm around Koushiro's shoulders. "Koushiro, your parents have some alcohol hidden away, right?" 

"We can't drink their alcohol!" Koushiro protests immediately, looking scandalised. He ducks away from Taichi's grasp, backing up and crossing his arms, trying to seem stern. 

"Oh come on, I'll replace it. Please? It'll be more fun, and it is my birthday..." 

Koushiro groans, giving in easily. "If I get caught, I'm throwing you under the bus." 

"I'll just say I corrupted you," Taichi laughs, and Koushiro reluctantly gets up, heading into the kitchen to get his parents' collection of shot glasses and a couple bottles of tequila and rum. 

"Don't break these," he warns as he hands them out to everyone. "My parents would kill me." 

They fill up their glasses with either alcohol or soda, the humans helping their Digimon partners—being sure to give them only soda. No one really wants to find out what a very drunk Digimon is like. Most of the older Chosen choose alcohol, Jou being the only exception despite his legal status. Takeru and Daisuke are the only two younger Chosen to choose it, and though Yamato wants to protest Takeru's choice, he bites his tongue, knowing he'd been drinking at that age too. 

Gomamon tugs at Jou's shirt. "Jou. What is Never Ever?" 

"Never Have I Ever," Jou corrects, looking down at Gomamon with a smile. "We all sit in a circle. The person starting says something they haven't done, using the phrase 'never have I ever.' Anyone that _has_ done it has to take a drink, and sometimes explain the story behind it, if people want. Then the next person in the circle says something they haven't done, and it keeps going around until people get bored, or are too drunk to go on, if there's alcohol involved." 

Palmon looks confused. Though Mimi hadn't been able to make it, she hadn't wanted to be left out, and so came along with the other Digimon. "You have strange games," she says. 

Taichi grins at her. "It's my birthday, so I'll start," he says. "I'll start easy. Hmm... Never have I ever broken a bone." Jou downs his shot, to the surprise of no one, along with Daisuke, Ken, and Sora. The Digimon just look confused. 

"Soccer," Daisuke offers, though no one had asked, and Ken nods. 

"Tennis for me," Sora says. 

"How do you break a bone playing tennis?" Ken wonders. 

Sora blushes. "I might have tripped over the net while trying to return a serve." 

They all laugh at her, and then Taichi nudges Yamato. "Your turn." 

Yamato thinks for a few seconds, then shoots an evil smirk in Koushiro's direction, who immediately gulps and looks nervous. "Never have I ever hacked into a teacher's computer to change my grade." 

After a moment's hesitation, Koushiro drinks, glaring at Yamato over his glass. The rest of the Chosen look shocked, and he knows he'll have to give at least somewhat of an explanation. "He said I got a question wrong," Koushiro mumbles, his face turning as red as his hair. "I didn't! I just wanted the correct grade I deserved!" 

"Wow, our innocent little Koushiro is growing up and becoming corrupt after all!" Taichi exclaims, pretending to wipe away a fake tear. "I'm so proud!" 

"I am not corrupt!" Koushiro huffs, glaring some more. "It was just one time! I would never do it if I was actually wrong!" 

"Sure, sure..." 

"Your turn, Gabumon." 

Gabumon looks at his partner uncomfortably. "I don't think I will be good at playing this game," he says. 

"You sure?" Yamato asks him, raising an eyebrow, and Gabumon nods. 

"I will watch you play," he says peacefully. 

"Okay," Yamato says, shrugging. He's not going to force his Digimon to play something he doesn't want to. "Takeru?" 

"Never have I ever been punished for getting drunk," he says immediately, and Yamato rolls his eyes as he takes a shot, along with Taichi and Sora. "Oh yeah, I forgot you were there, Taichi," Takeru tells him apologetically. 

Taichi just shrugs. "It was worth it," he says cheerfully, thankful for the incident that had brought him and Yamato together at last. Even if it had been particularly embarrassing at the time. 

"Never have I ever cheated on a test!" Patamon declares, wiggling happily, making the others laugh. 

"I didn't think Digimon took tests," Miyako teases. 

"We don't!" 

Takeru drinks to that, giving his Digimon a dirty look. "That was supposed to be a secret!" he complains. However, when the only people that don't drink are Iori and Koushiro, he feels better. 

They continue to go around the circle, some of the 'nevers' being random, general questions that just pop into their heads and, in the case of the Digimon players, not always making a lot of sense. Others are clearly specific, referring to secrets they've kept, and meant to make the person being talked about take a drink. 

"Never have I ever gotten drunk and wound up with a kid after a one-night stand," Hikari says at one point on the third go round. 

Yamato drinks to that one resentfully, giving her a nasty look before turning it onto Takeru. "You were supposed to keep that part secret." 

Takeru actually looks a little apologetic. "I didn't think she'd ever tell..." 

"Wait, so Naoki was born because you... what, got drunk with the mom?" Jou asks incredulously. 

Yamato glares at him fiercely. "Yes, and if any of you even suggests he was a mistake or I should regret it, I will punch you as hard as I can in the face." 

"Woah," Daisuke says, holding up his hands in an attempt to be placating. "Touchy subject." 

" _Moving_ on," Miyako says, "it's my turn. Never have I ever been caught making out in the school bathrooms." 

Yamato drinks to that one gratefully, along with a sheepish Taichi, unashamed Sora, grinning Daisuke, and hesitant Ken. 

"Ooh, details!" Miyako squeals at them all. "Who with, how'd you get caught, and was it good?" 

Ken immediately turns bright red, and hides his face, refusing to discuss anything. 

"I won't say who with, but an upperclassman wandered in and caught us," Daisuke says. "It was during the lunch period. He said he wouldn't tell as long as we got out of there and didn't do it again. I would though, it was worth it." 

"Mine was with Junta," Sora says, laughing as she recalls it. "He snuck me into the boy's bathroom early before school, unfortunately one of the teachers happened to be in a stall, we didn't think to check and so he came out and lectured us and we had to join in the cleanup that week even though it wasn't our rotation. It wasn't even worth it, Junta didn't have a clue what he was doing." 

"Why didn't you teach him then?" Miyako demands. "It could have been a perfect opportunity." 

"No way, he was sure he was amazing at it. He never would have listened." She turns to the last two to drink. "What about you guys, I'm assuming you got caught together?" 

Taichi starts to answer her, but Yamato clamps a hand over his mouth, shaking his head. "No details, sorry," he says, and then lets out a startled noise when Taichi begins to lick his hand. "Stop, you're not that drunk yet!" 

"Sure I am," Taichi says, slurring his words deliberately, leering at his boyfriend. 

Yamato rolls his eyes and pushes him away. They finish up their round, and decide to move onto presents before Taichi really does get too drunk to open and appreciate them. 

Taichi exclaims over everything happily, enjoying what everyone gives him. Yamato is nervous about his, having tracked down some limited first print manga that Taichi had been pining over for the last year—he isn't sure Taichi will really like that, but Taichi seems to love them, going on at length at how he'd been trying to get them forever but they always got sold or wound up being too expensive. 

Eventually they all begin to wind down as it gets later. They say goodbye to their Digimon companions, and watch as they go back through the Gate that's currently open on Koushiro's computer. People start leaving, though Hikari and Yamato stick around to help Koushiro clean up while Taichi gives Jou some money to run out and replace the alcohol they drank. 

"Have fun?" Yamato asks as he walks with Taichi and Hikari towards their apartment building. He's left Naoki with his dad, so he has to go in that direction anyway. 

Taichi smirks at him. "Yeah, but I'm looking forward to tomorrow even more." 

Hikari groans and covers her ears. "I don't need to hear that!" 

Yamato just laughs. 

* * *

The next day, the day of Taichi's actual birthday, the two of them have a celebration of their own. Yamato leaves Naoki with his dad, and then he takes Taichi out to dinner at a nice restaurant. Afterwards, at his apartment, he gives Taichi his final present. 

"Oh shit," Taichi moans as Yamato takes the full length of him in his mouth, dipping his tongue into the slit as he sucks gently. Taichi looks down to see Yamato looking up at him—mouth wrapped wide around Taichi's dick, cheeks bulging a bit, eyes half-lidded with lust—and feels himself get even harder, though he would have sworn a moment ago that wasn't possible. He can't help but to thrust a bit, driving himself further down his boyfriend's throat. At that, Yamato increases the suction as he starts doing crazy things with his tongue, and Taichi tries to hold on, he really does, but all too soon he's coming, spilling down Yamato's throat with a loud groan and half-babbled apologies about the lack of warning. Yamato just looks at him, swallowing everything, licking him clean. 

"That was incredible," Taichi says finally, when he feels he's recovered enough to speak. "Thank you." 

Yamato grins. "Happy birthday." 

"Best birthday present ever," he says fervently, meaning it. 

"Isn't that what you said last year?" Yamato asks him cheekily. 

"Well practice makes perfect," Taichi teases him, and Yamato just sticks his tongue out at him. 

* * *

Wednesday morning, Dr. Kanada hands their rough drafts back. Yamato looks down at his paper and has to swallow a cry of dismay when he sees the red writing everywhere. He doesn't understand. He worked _hard_ on this paper, he _knows_ it was good, how can his professor find so much wrong with it? He almost wants to cry, but years of hiding his emotions and keeping everything inside easily holds the tears at bay. He's still upset when he leaves the class though, and even when he tries to hide it, Taichi's attuned enough to him to sense it anyway. 

"What's wrong?" 

Silently, he hands over the paper that's still clutched tightly in his right hand. Taichi skims it quickly, frowning as he reads through all the comments, thinking that most of them seem unnecessary, and a few come across as downright cruel. "What a dick," he says, anger threading through his tone as he hands the paper back. 

"All this because I was late the first day," Yamato sighs. 

"He's just trying to play games. Don't let him get to you. You know your work is good. Do the rewrite, make the changes he says—he can't give you a bad grade then." 

"Yeah, you're right," Yamato says, but privately he's doubtful. This professor does _not_ like him, and seems to have made it his mission to be out for blood this term. Still, there's not much he can do about it, so he does his best to put a smile back on his face and not worry Taichi. 

That night, he bribes Takeru with extra pay to come over and watch Naoki for him while he works on the final draft of his paper, which is due Friday. Takeru does such a good job that he begs him to come back the next night, so that he can finish writing in peace and have the most amazing paper to turn in. Takeru's reluctant, but he pleads as hard as he can, offering even more money, and Takeru finally gives in, though he won't accept the extra pay. 

He's deep into his work when Naoki's high-pitched laughs, accompanied by Takeru's deeper ones, penetrates through his consciousness. He frowns in annoyance, absently wondering what they're doing as he tries to block out the noise and keep writing. Their laughter continues though, constantly distracting him, until he finally gets up and makes his way down the hall to Naoki's room, wanting to see what's got them both so amused. 

He's not sure what he's expecting, but what he sees definitely _isn't_ it. 

Takeru and Naoki both have clothes hangers in their hands, which they're brandishing as make-shift swords, stabbing them at each other and making fake clashing sword noises. Well, Naoki's mostly just laughing, but Takeru seems to have the sound effects down enough for the both of them. 

"How dare you," he starts, and Takeru looks over at him, alarmed. "How dare you have a sword fight without me?" he finishes, grinning, and runs into the room, snatching a spare hanger from Naoki's closet before joining in. The three of them battle fiercely, Takeru and Naoki ganging up on him, and eventually he lets Naoki 'kill' him, pretending to be mortally wounded by a stab, falling to the floor and clutching at his chest. Naoki's shrieks of joy are the most precious sounds he's ever heard. 

After that, though, he has to ask them to play outside for a bit while it's still light out, so that he can finish up his paper without further distraction. They go agreeably enough, and an hour later he's finished—or at least as much he thinks he can be, having the feeling that no matter how much work he puts into it, it won't be good enough for Dr. Kanada. 

He turns it in Friday with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach, and then spends the whole weekend stressing about it, worried about what sort of grade he'll get back. He even finds it hard to concentrate on the date he and Taichi go on Saturday, fretting in his head about everything he wrote and thinking of ways he still could have done it better. He feels bad, because he can tell Taichi's getting a little annoyed with him, but he can't seem to turn off the anxiety no matter how hard he tries. He does appreciate that Taichi at least doesn't say anything to him about his worrying. 

He doesn't get the paper back until Wednesday, and when he does, he almost wishes he hadn't. The grade's even lower than the rough draft, which makes no sense because Yamato made every single change Dr. Kanada had suggested. He knows protesting it would be useless though, so he doesn't bother. He spends the rest of the day in a foul mood, all of Taichi's attempt to cheer him up unsuccessful. When he wakes up the next day, he's feeling somewhat better—at least until he gets Ny's text. 

_Photoshoot tomorrow at 9:30_ , it reads. _Details in a bit._ He's angry, because Ny hadn't bothered to check with him to make sure the time was okay, and because the photoshoot is during the time he has Dr. Kanada's class. Missing it will not make the man any happier with him. When he gets to his third class that afternoon—Intro to Music, a class he doesn't share with Taichi—he finds Ratsuii just as angry as he is about the text, as he also has a class he'll be missing at that time. 

"He didn't even check to make sure it was okay," Ratsuii gripes. "Probably just told Daichi right off the bat to go ahead and confirm it." 

"He did the same thing when he picked the time for recording the single," Yamato agrees, glad that Ratsuii's with him in this. "I don't know if he genuinely didn't think about our classes or is mad at us for going to university, but it's really inconsiderate, and not like him." 

"We'll just have to say something to him," Ratsuii says frowning. "After all, maybe he really did forget. I doubt he has both of our schedules memorised." 

"Still, he could have just _asked_ , just to be sure," Yamato complains. "My professor already hates me, if I miss his class he'll hate me even more." 

"Are you not going to go?" 

Yamato sighs, running his fingers through his hair. "No, I'll go. It's already been scheduled, and it'll be a good opportunity for us. Cancelling could hurt our future chances. I just won't be happy about going, that's all." 

* * *

"I'm sorry, Yamato, you know I would if I could." 

"Yeah, yeah I know Dad, don't worry about it. I'll ask Mom." 

He ends the call and then dials his mom's number, waiting impatiently for her to pick up. He feels bad for doing this last minute, but with his paper and the photoshoot he had completely forgotten about his and Koushiro's plans until the younger boy had texted him earlier to make sure they were still on. 

"Yamato?" 

"Hi Mom," he says. "I'm sorry to do this, but is there any way you can watch Naoki for a couple of hours?" 

"Oh honey, I'm sorry, I'm working late tonight, I can't. Have you tried your dad?" 

"Yeah, I'll do that. It's okay, thanks." 

He wonders if Takeru wants to make a bit more money. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, it's Yamato. You want some extra money?" Before his brother can answer, he hears muffled laughter in the background that sounds a lot like Daisuke, and knows he's going to have to find someone else. 

"Sorry, I'm out with Daisuke and Ken tonight. You try Dad?" 

Yamato sighs. "He's working late. But don't worry about it, I'll find someone. Have fun." 

"Yep!" Takeru says, and hangs up. 

He thinks for a moment, drumming his fingers on the counter in irritation. He doesn't want to have to ask Mrs. Yagami when she's already watched Naoki all day, but he doesn't really have any options left. He selfishly wishes Taichi wasn't hanging out with some of his old soccer buddies from high school, because he knows Taichi wouldn't mind. 

Letting out another sigh, he dials the Yagami number, and after a couple of rings Yuuko's voice answers. "Hello?" 

"Hi, Mrs. Yagami, it's Yamato." 

"Oh hi, Yamato. You only left an hour ago. Is everything okay?" 

The immediate concern in her voice warms him. She's been like a second mother to him ever since he and Taichi became good friends. It makes him feel even worse for asking on such short notice—he feels as if he's taking advantage of her, somehow. "Everything's fine. I hate to ask, but is there anyway I could bring Naoki back over for a few hours?" 

"Oh, dear, you know I normally wouldn't mind at all, but right now I'm on my way out to go shopping with Hikari and won't be back for awhile." 

"Oh," he says, doing his best to hide his aggravation. It isn't her fault, after all. "That's okay then, I'll ask someone else. Thank you." 

"No problem. Good luck finding someone." 

"Thanks." He hangs up, groaning. Now what is he supposed to do? The only Chosen that don't seem to be busy are Sora, Jou, Miyako, and Iori. There's no way he's going to ask the younger ones, and he can already hear Jou's excuses about needing to study echoing in his head. And Sora, well... there's a reason the other Chosen refer to the last time he asked only as 'The Great Babysitting December Debacle.' 

He groans again. 

"Mad?" Naoki asks curiously, coming over to him and patting his legs. 

"Irritated," Yamato tells him, though he knows Naoki is too young to pick up on the nuances just yet. He looks down at his son for a moment, wondering what to do, and then abruptly decides to hell with it. While he usually only brings Naoki to group outings, something like this won't really hurt either, and he doubts Koushiro will really mind. He can find something to keep his child entertained for a couple of hours. 

"You wanna go somewhere with Daddy, Naoki?" he asks, putting a smile on his face. 

Naoki responds to it, smiling back and clapping his hands together with glee. "Daddy go!" 

* * *

When he rings Koushiro's doorbell an hour later, diaper bag slung over one shoulder and Naoki hoisted against the other, Koushiro raises his eyebrows but doesn't say anything. He smiles sheepishly anyway, hoping the other boy isn't too mad with him. "I tried to find a babysitter, but everyone is busy tonight," he offers apologetically. 

Koushiro shrugs. "If you're fine with it, I'm fine with it." 

"I brought stuff to keep him entertained. Hopefully." 

They set Naoki up in a corner of the living room with several of his toys and a few colouring books and crayons. He mostly just scribbles, but he enjoys seeing the pictures nonetheless. Then they head over to the sofa, where Koushiro's already got their movie set up. He won't admit it to most of his friends, since he knows they'll just tease him to death, but he really enjoys the crazy science fiction stuff Koushiro often watches. And Koushiro's been happy to have a friend besides Jou that's willing to watch it and discuss it with him, so he doesn't mind keeping Yamato's secret. 

"So how's the final year of school going?" Yamato asks while Koushiro fiddles with getting snacks for them. 

"Busy," Koushiro called from the next room. "I'm sure you can imagine. Everyone's focused on getting the best entrance exam scores." 

"You worried about it?" 

"Of course," Koushiro said, tone matter of fact. "I know my grades are good, but are they good enough for university?" 

"Hey, if I can get in, then so can you," Yamato told him. "You've always been the smartest out of all of us. I know you'll do fine." 

"I hope so," Koushiro said, giving him a wan smile as he comes in and sets out a small assortment of dried cuttlefish, nori maki, and onigiri . "I just hope I can survive the year and all the revisions." 

"You will," Yamato says confidently, and then pops some nori maki into his mouth as Koushiro starts the movie. 

* * *

Early Saturday afternoon, he meets up with Taichi and Sora at Moumou's. It's a bit weird, being in the shop again. The last time he was here, he was telling Megumi that he wanted to keep his son. Except he hadn't even known then that he was having a son. It had just been a nameless, sexless baby at that point. When he looks around, he sees the shop hasn't changed much in the past few years. He can still point out where he and Megumi had sat. 

He orders a coffee for himself and a small bowl of ice cream for Naoki, then goes over to greet Taichi and Sora. "Hey guys," he says. 

Sora greets him with a smile and hello, and Taichi gets up to give him a quick kiss, making him blush. He gets Naoki settled—although he fusses at the booster seat, making it difficult—and then seats himself, at last taking a sip of his coffee before he reaches over to help Naoki eat. The boy lets out a shrill noise, yanking his spoon away, so Yamato decides to let him feed himself—he so rarely shows interest in it and Yamato wants to encourage every instance. 

They enjoy their coffee, taking their time as they just chat and enjoy hanging out together. 

"I broke up with Minoru," Sora says at one point. 

"Oh Sora, I'm sorry," Yamato says sympathetically, and Taichi makes murmuring noises of agreement. They both know how much she had liked him, she had called each of them and spoke of nothing but him for an hour when he had first asked her out. 

"What happened?" Taichi asks gently, hoping that she won't get too upset, or start crying. He always feels awkward when other people start to cry. 

"Oh, I dumped him. He never wanted to go out on dates, and the few times I could get him to go, he never paid much attention to me. I got tired of it, so we broke up." 

"Well, I'm sure you'll find someone better soon," Taichi tells her awkwardly. 

"You two about ready to go to the park and study some history?" she asks. It's an obvious attempt to change the subject, and they glance at each other, worried, but silently agree to let it go. If she needs to talk to one of them about it, she will when she's ready. They both know that. Still, Yamato finds himself wishing Mimi were still here. She and Sora were so close, and Mimi would have a much better idea of what to say to cheer her up than either of them do. 

Yamato checks on Naoki, who's finished about half of his ice cream. He cleans the other half off the boy's face, and then looks at her with a smile, hoping she's really okay. "Yeah, let's go," he says softly. 

They all throw their trash away, then he takes Naoki tightly in one hand and Taichi in the other, and the four of them make their way to the park.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kashiwa Mochi is a traditional mochi (Japanese rice cake) with red bean paste filling wrapped with an oak leaf. It is enjoyed on Children’s Day in Japan as we celebrate a child’s growth and happiness. - justonecookbook.com.
> 
> Also, I've only just started writing chapter five, so for now at least updates will still be only Saturdays. Sorry to make everyone wait so long!


	3. X X X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a day late. I've been sick. Still am. But hopefully the fact that this is the longest chapter yet will make up for it?

"I'm handing back your pop quizzes from Friday," Dr. Kanada says, and then he looks directly at Yamato. "Mr. Ishida, unless you have a documented, excused absence, you will not be allowed to make it up."

Yamato says nothing, just nods at him and lowers his head, biting his lip to keep from saying anything that will get him kicked out of the class, or the university. He feels a smoldering anger start low in his stomach, spreading throughout until his fists are clenched tightly in his lap and his whole body is rigid. He's not stupid. He knows Dr. Kanada took advantage of the opportunity his absence on Friday presented. 

He doesn't have an absence that will be considered excused, he also knows that. Of course he doesn't. Skipping class for a photoshoot is hardly a valid reason, and he knows if he were to try and use that with Dr. Kanada, the man's hatred of him would just kick up another notch. He longs to confront his professor, to demand the reason for why the man hates him so, but he knows he'd never get a true reason back. Possibly there isn't even really one, he just gets to be the lucky scapegoat for this term. So in what's becoming a habit, he does his best to just let it go. 

Still, when class is over, he finds that the anger is still lingering, along with worry. He'll have a zero for that quiz, and even if he makes perfect grades on everything else, it'll still drag his grade down unfairly. 

"Still angry?" Taichi asks Yamato quietly as they head to the next class. Yamato knows Taichi can't help but be a bit worried for him. With the already low grade Yamato was given on his paper, the zero for the quiz will hurt. And it's not right, the professor is singling him out without good cause, and they both know he absolutely does not deserve that. It's stressing Yamato out, and he knows that Taichi is picking up on that and becoming upset by it, though he wishes Taichi wouldn't be upset on his behalf. 

Yamato nods once, jerkily, feeling somewhat like he wants to punch a wall. He glances over at Taichi and catches the worry in those brown eyes. "Sorry," he mutters, feeling bad. "You don't have to worry. It's just so unfair!" 

"After math, you want to go back to your apartment for lunch? Get away from the campus for a bit and relax?" 

Yamato shrugs. The idea doesn't really seem all that appealing, but he suspects nothing would right now, and he knows Taichi is just trying to find some way he can help. "Sure," he says, trying for a smile. It doesn't work too well, but Taichi seems pleased with his attempt nonetheless. 

* * *

"I thought you said lunch," Yamato says as Taichi begins undoing the button and zipper on his jeans. "This isn't lunch." He helps Taichi get the pants off despite his complaints, wriggling his legs to shake them down. 

"You can eat if you want," Taichi says as he starts yanking on Yamato's boxers. "This is what I'm having." 

"But you're skipping all the foreplay," Yamato whines, though he doesn't really mind. The thought of this impromptu blowjob is turning him on, and his dick springs out as soon as Taichi gets his underwear down, the tip already leaking. 

Taichi grins at him, cheeks flushed and eyes shining. "You don't seem to mind." 

"Shut up." Yamato starts to roll his eyes, but then hisses out a breath when Taichi presses him back into the sofa and takes him in his mouth. "Fuck..." It's just the head, but Taichi's mouth is hot, and wet, and it's exactly what he needs after the day he's had so far. Taichi closes his lips around him and sucks, _hard_ , and Yamato almost feels like coming right then and there. He jerks his hips, overcome with the instinctual urge to thrust, but Taichi follows along with his movements, refusing to let him have control. 

"Taichi, _please_ ," Yamato moans, not even sure what it is he's begging for. He reaches down, threading his fingers through Taichi's hair, wrapping tightly around brown strands, trying to get Taichi to take more of him in. Taichi resists, taking the opportunity to lightly flick his tongue against the slit instead, dipping in a bit, getting a taste of the precum there. 

Yamato whines, trying to thrust again, all of Taichi's teasing driving him wild with sudden need. Taichi pulls back a bit, chuckling, the vibrations thrumming along Yamato's shaft, and he nearly sobs with how good it feels. "Please," he says again, but Taichi moves away completely this time, forcing Yamato to let go of his hair, feeling himself slide out of Taichi's mouth. The cool air of the apartment rushes over him, contrasting with the heat from Taichi, and the odd sensation makes him even harder. "No, don't stop," he cries. 

Taichi gets off his knees, putting his hands against the back of the sofa on either side of Yamato before leaning in and kissing him, lips pressing insistently, and he reaches up to clutch at Taichi's shirt, pulling him closer, kissing him back desperately, making low, needy noises in the back of his throat. They spend a few minutes bruising each others' lips before Taichi stops again. "Enough foreplay for you?" he whispers, his voice husky, and Yamato shivers to feel Taichi's warm breath against his lips. 

"Yes," he says softly, voice tinged with his need. He swallows hard as Taichi kisses him once more, gently this time. He's so hard it aches, and he feels overheated and feverish, his skin flushed with arousal. He wants to be back in Taichi's mouth, and he wants to come. 

Taichi drops back down to his knees in front of him, spreading Yamato's legs wide to get in between them, and presses his palm against Yamato's dick briefly, before wrapping his fingers around it and beginning to stroke, sliding his other hand up under Yamato's balls and pressing a finger hard against his taint. 

Yamato tosses his head back against the sofa, thrusting his hips again, and this time Taichi doesn't stop him, letting Yamato fuck himself into Taichi's hand. He's panting, harsh little gasps that bubble out of his mouth almost involuntarily. Taichi's trailing a finger around his balls now, a feather light touch that's driving Yamato crazy. He nearly howls when Taichi suddenly takes his hands away, but before he has time to get truly indignant, Taichi's mouth is taking him in, swallowing his length down deep, and he feels the tip hit Taichi's throat. He whimpers. 

Taichi doesn't bother with teasing this time. Instead, he gets right to it, sucking and licking for all he's worth, swirling his tongue around the thick shaft in his mouth and hollowing his cheeks. 

Yamato tangles his hands in Taichi's hair again, unable to keep himself from thrusting, but this time Taichi lets him, holding himself still as Yamato uses his mouth as he wishes. It feels so damn good, and Yamato knows he won't be able to last long, but he doesn't care, he's so close, reaching that crescendo, every nerve in his body alight with pleasure, balls tight and stomach taut, and then Taichi fucking _hums_ , deep in his throat, and it's fucking incredible and he's _shrieking_ as he comes, loud, not even caring if the neighbours hear. Taichi swallows it all down without protest, still sucking gently, and after a few minutes Yamato shudders with how sensitive it feels. He tugs feebly at Taichi's hair. "Stop," he says hoarsely, and Taichi does. 

He lies there on the sofa limply as Taichi moves away, feeling drained and content, drifting in a haze of sexual satisfaction. 

"Good?" Taichi asks him. 

"Mm," he murmurs, words too much effort at the moment. 

"I'm glad," Taichi says, "because now we have twenty minutes to get back on campus and to class." 

He bolts upright at that, regretting it as the movement sends a wave of dizziness rushing over him, but he swears anyway and reaches for his boxers. "Where are my pants?" he gripes, looking around for them as he pulls his boxers on. Taichi hands them to him, and he somehow stands up and trips into them, stumbling around a bit as he yanks them up. He feels sticky, and makes a face, knowing there's no time to clean up, and he's going to feel like this the whole time he's in class. 

Taichi snags a couple of mandarin oranges from the kitchen, tossing one to him. He catches it with ease and then grabs his bag from where he'd left it beside the coffee table, and they're racing out the door, hurrying to make it to their next classes on time. 

* * *

A week later, Yamato sits Naoki down in the living room with his one of his favourite colouring books and some markers, settling him at the coffee table. Normally he'd put the boy in his playpen, but it had unfortunately somehow gotten crushed in the move, and he never seems to remember to buy a new one—except for those moments when he really needs one. 

He knows he really shouldn't leave Naoki alone in the room, but the living room and kitchen are basically one giant open room, so he figures he can still keep an eye on him while he goes to make dinner. He gets into it, humming a bit as he dices vegetables and slices meat and selects the appropriate seasonings, and it's only when he's got everything simmering on the stove thirty minutes later that he realises he hasn't checked on his son once. A sliver of fear grips his heart as it occurs to him that Naoki hasn't come in once to bother him, or made any noise whatsoever, and he whirls around in a panic, heart nearly stopping when he sees Naoki isn't at the coffee table. 

"Naoki?" he calls, and tries to ignore how wobbly and high-pitched his voice sounds. 

"Daddy, see!" Naoki cries gleefully, popping his head around the sofa. Yamato lets out a breath, relieved beyond words, but then his eyes take in the rest of the living room, and his mouth slowly drops open in disbelief before he groans in annoyance. He makes an effort to keep calm, knowing that anger won't help the situation. He then does his best to sternly explain to Naoki that he can't do that—Naoki's slowly been learning the word "no" over the past few weeks, but like most toddlers he's picking and choosing when to listen to it—and then he puts him in his high chair while he finishes dinner. 

Naoki cries, not liking the restriction, and bangs his fists against the tray, face turning red as it gets soaked in tears and snot, but Yamato just ignores him, letting him work out the tantrum on his own, even though it breaks his heart to do so. Eventually the toddler's loud cries turn into soft, hiccuping sobs, and when Naoki is at last calm again, Yamato cleans his face before getting him dinner. 

Later, when he's gotten Naoki bathed and in bed, he goes back into the living room and looks around again with a loud sigh. There's marker all over the walls, bright multiple-coloured scribbles streaking all around the room and even across the front door. He doesn't know what he had been thinking, leaving Naoki alone in here with markers. He really knows better. And now this is going to take him the rest of the night to clean up. 

"Why me," he groans out loud, and then goes to get some rubbing alcohol and cotton balls. 

* * *

When he walks into class the next morning, Taichi at his side as they slide into seats, he's exhausted and thinking of nothing but getting through the day so he can sleep. It had taken him _hours_ to clean the labours of Naoki's artistic talent off the walls last night, and he'd been up well past his usual bedtime. 

It's only when Dr. Kanada says, "Pass Monday's assignments up to the front," that he realises he never did his, so caught up in cleaning that he'd completely forgotten about it. He looks at Taichi, panic in his eyes, wondering what the hell he should do, not wanting another zero in this class—but then Dr. Kanada's looming over him, his face pinched in displeasure, irritation burning in his dark eyes. 

"And where is your assignment, Mr. Ishida?" he asks—really, it's more of a growl, and Yamato tries not to cower in his seat. 

"I don't have it, sir," he says honestly, doing his best to sit up straight and not look afraid. He doesn't want this man to know just how much he's getting to him. 

"Any particular reason why?" 

"Er..." Yamato falters, scrabbling around in his brain for a reason and coming up with absolutely nothing. "No, sir... I just forgot..." he trails off, knowing how bad that sounds. 

"You forgot," his professor says flatly, staring down at him in disapproval. "This class isn't important enough for you, is that it?" 

"It's not that," he says helplessly. Beside him, he can sense Taichi's growing anger on his behalf, and he hopes Taichi keeps his cool and doesn't do anything stupid. Taichi's a lot calmer than he used to be when they were kids, but he still has his moments. 

Dr. Kanada shakes his head, clearly fed up with him, and goes to the front of the room. "Let's start with discussing the first of the assigned stories on the syllabus," he says. "You can find it on page 436 of your textbook." 

Yamato closes his eyes for a moment, trying to compose himself, then leans down and grabs his bag, rooting around for his textbook. A panicked minute later, he's gone through his whole bag twice, and determined his textbook is definitely _not_ in there. Which makes sense, because he remembers pulling it out before he'd set up Naoki with the colouring book last night, planning to do his assignment after he'd gotten Naoki into bed. 

"Where's your book?" Taichi whispers to him as softly as possible, warm sympathy in his eyes. 

"Forgot it," he whispers, voice just as soft. Taichi doesn't say anything else, but he shifts his book in Yamato's direction a little, so that they both can share it. Yamato smiles at him gratefully. 

Of course, this doesn't make a difference to Dr. Kanada, who, when he comes around ten minutes later, spots them sharing the book, and angrily grills Yamato relentlessly on where his own textbook is before finally tossing him out of the classroom, telling him not to come back until he's better prepared. Yamato gets the feeling that even if it had been Taichi who needed to share, he'd still be the one tossed out. 

He packs up his few things and leaves—not just the classroom, but the building entirely, sitting on a bench nearby to wait for Taichi, feeling humiliated and trying not to get too upset at being thrown out. For the first time this term, he starts to wonder if he's going to be able to pass this class. 

* * *

"The second paper will be worth as much of your grade as the first one, but I expect you to work even harder on this one. You're familiar now with what I'm looking for, and you're in university now, which means I don't want to see high school level work." Dr. Kanada looks at Yamato as he says this, and he can feel his face flaming in both embarrassment and anger, but at this point he's resigned himself to it, and doesn't react. Besides, it's Friday, which means he can go home in a few hours and not think about his infuriating professor for the next few days. 

After class, he gets accosted by one of his female classmates just outside the door. "I love the new PV!" she gushes at him. "I'm going to buy the single right after classes! The song is amazing! Could I get your autograph?" 

"Ah, sure," he says, taking the pen and copy of their last album she thrusts at him awkwardly. He's expected this today, having been getting requests all week—the band's promotional video was released last Friday, and the new single has just come out today—but he's uncomfortably aware of Dr. Kanada packing up just inside the classroom, and he can't help but wonder just what the man must be thinking of him. Nothing good, he's sure. "What's your name?" he asks her, as Taichi indicates he's going outside to wait for him. He nods distractedly at his boyfriend. 

"Satomi!" she says, missing his and Taichi's exchange entirely. 

He nods, and quickly scribbles off a short message on the insert, signing his name with a flourish at the bottom. "There you go," he tells her, handing the CD and her pen back with a smile. 

"Thanks, you're the best!" 

From inside the classroom comes a disbelieving scoff, and he can feel the slow burn of anger start up again, making him clench a fist at his side. He tells himself to forget it, and heads outside to meet Taichi. 

* * *

"Hi, you two!" Sora says, smiling as Yamato approaches everyone, Naoki in his arms. He sets the toddler down with a sigh of relief, and the diaper bag as well. 

"Why don't you use a stroller?" Koushiro asks him curiously as Yamato plops down to the ground and begins to roll his shoulders, relaxing some of the muscles. 

He snorts. "Trust me, I've tried. He absolutely refuses. Throws a fit every time I pull it out, and fights me when I try to put him in there anyway. If I _do_ manage to get him in it, he screams his head off the whole time and I can't take him anywhere. I gave up after awhile." 

"How odd," Jou remarks, looking at the little boy who's already gleefully pulling up tufts of grass and throwing them. 

Yamato shrugs, not overly concerned. He snags the diaper bag and drags it closer to him, unzipping it and beginning to dig through it as he talks. "He just likes being able to look all around him at everything—the stroller gives him a limited view of that. Of course, it's been six or seven months since I last tried to put him in one, I could probably try again. He might go for it now that he's a bit older. Here." 

Koushiro blinks, taking the colourful plastic boxes from him uncertainly. "What is this?" 

"Desserts. I made them last night. I know your mom probably made us a ton of stuff, but I just wanted to contribute." Truthfully, he'd still been upset from Dr. Kanada's class, and had just wanted to cook and unwind before bed. He hadn't made them with today's picnic in mind, but he knows he'll never be able to eat them all by himself, or even with Taichi and Naoki's help. 

"Okay. Thanks." Koushiro places the boxes with the rest of their food. 

Taichi and Hikari get there not long after that, and Taichi comes over to sit next to Yamato, the two of them leaning back against the large tree the Chosen have claimed for their own, enjoying the rare sunshine. It's early June, and the rainy season is well underway in Tokyo, the majority of the days being gloomy and dreary. When Daisuke had first suggested the picnic to everyone, he'd wanted to go to the Digital World, just to guarantee nice weather. Yamato had nixed it, though, not yet comfortable with taking Naoki there. While the Digital World is at peace, anything can happen at any time to change that, and Yamato knows he can't be in a battle and keep an eye on his son at the same time. He's just not ready to risk it. 

A little while later, the younger teenagers start a game of 'tag' with Naoki, though it mostly consists of them taking turns chasing him around and tagging him, since he doesn't quite get the concept of tagging them back just yet. They all enjoy it though, Naoki's joyful laughter ringing out above the others', and they all collapse in a happy exhausted pile of limbs near the older teens when they tire of the game. 

"I'm starving," Daisuke says, his voice muffled by Miyako's arm across his face. "Can we eat yet?" 

"Yeah, I'm hungry too!" Taichi chimes in, grinning. 

"You're always hungry, though," Yamato says, poking him in the side. "You don't count." 

"Well I'm a growing boy!" 

Everyone laughs at that. "You're nineteen now, Taichi. I think you're done growing," Hikari informs her brother in amusement. 

"I could eat too," Iori admits, extracting himself from Ken's legs and brushing himself off before holding out a hand to help Ken up. 

While the others sort out of the food, Yamato gets his son and begins to clean him up some. His hands are grubby from playing in the dirt, so he cleans those off with some wipes. He's also got bits of grass and leaves in his hair which Yamato easily brushes out, and his face is still a bit sticky from breakfast, which Yamato hadn't noticed earlier, so he takes care of that too. "All clean," he says, and Naoki throws his small arms around his daddy in a hug. 

"Yamato! Come eat!" Taichi calls, and Yamato stands, grabbing Naoki's hand and leading him over to the large picnic sheet Sora has spread out, where all the food is now laid out for everyone to take what they want, along with paper plates, cups, and disposable chopsticks. 

He quickly fixes Naoki a plate, letting the child pick between 'this or that' for a few things, and then gets a plate of his own, though he knows he won't be able to eat most of it right away. Instead, he has to help Naoki eat—he's not used to eating outside of a high chair, and having to sit cross-legged with his plate on the ground in front of him confuses him. 

"So, how is Dr. Kanada's class going, Yamato?" Jou asks. 

He makes a face at the older boy. "He hasn't liked me since I was late that first day, and he doesn't hesitate in letting me know it." 

"He threw Yamato out of the classroom Wednesday because he didn't have his homework or his book," Taichi puts in. "And he's given him low grades on all of his assignments, and wouldn't let him make up a pop quiz." 

"Pop quizzes?" Jou frowns. "He never gave us any of those." 

"I'm sure he only gave one because I wasn't there," Yamato says, sighing. "In fact we have to turn in our topic and thesis statement for our second paper on Monday, and I already know that no matter how good mine is, I'll still get a low grade." 

"That sucks," Jou says sympathetically. 

"I'm just hoping he's the exception rather than the rule for most professors." 

"Why not report him?" Koushiro asks. 

"For what, being a di—" he glances at Naoki then, and amends his words, "—being mean?" 

"If he's treating you unfairly because of it, then yes," Koushiro says. 

Yamato just shakes his head, and finally takes a bite of his own food now that Naoki has mostly gotten through his. He doesn't see that reporting will help any. "Maybe," he says dismissively once he's swallowed his mouthful of spring roll. 

Koushiro looks as if he wants to say something else, to keep going until he's gotten Yamato's promise to report him first thing Monday, but a quick glance from Taichi has his mouth snapping shut, thankfully dropping the subject. 

* * *

_This is a poor choice of topic, something I would expect from a first year high school student. However, I don't think you'll come up with something better, so you may as well stick with it._

Yamato stares down at the cruel words in red, feeling hurt. Against his better judgement, he'd worked hard on Sunday afternoon to come up with a great topic for his paper, hoping that this would be the one that made Dr. Kanada realise he was wrong about his least favourite student. He really should have known better. 

Taichi glances over at Yamato, catching sight of the red scribbles everywhere, and frowns unhappily. He really doesn't like the way Dr. Kanada is treating his boyfriend. Just because he's a professor doesn't mean he should be allowed to get away with it. He's starting to think Koushiro had the right idea, that Yamato should report him—but he knows how unlikely it is that Yamato will do so. Yamato doesn't like to show any weakness to others. 

"That's really not right," Taichi mutters, motioning to the paper. 

Yamato just shrugs at him; what can he do? He puts it out of his mind and begins to take notes on the lecture. 

* * *

Thursday in between classes he gets a text from Nyusumi that makes him want to scream and throw his phone across the campus. Recordings and photoshoots are bad enough, but a _live_? Granted, it's just as an opening act, no more than four or five songs at most, but the fact that Ny has agreed to it _last minute_ , _without_ checking with anyone else yet again, really sets him off. 

_Are you kidding me?_ he texts back, then waits impatiently for the response. 

_Sorry, know it's last minute, great opportunity though! Couldn't pass it up._

He reads the text angrily, then snaps his phone shut as he reaches his history class, throwing himself down in his seat between Taichi and Sora a little roughly. They look at him in alarm as he slams his bag on the table a little harder than he means, and he takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "Sorry," he mutters. "Just found out that Ny agreed to the band being an opening act tonight and tomorrow. So now as soon as class ends I'll have to find a babysitter for Naoki last minute and then spend the next few hours practising songs I haven't played in a few months." 

"Mom can watch Naoki," Taichi says immediately, "or I can. Ny didn't check with you first?" 

Yamato shakes his head, blond strands flying around chaotically—he's still angry. "No, just a text out of nowhere saying we'll be opening at Zepp Tokyo tonight," he fumes. 

Sora raises an eyebrow. "Zepp Tokyo? That's pretty amazing." 

"Yeah, it _is_ a great opportunity," he admits grudgingly. "But this isn't the first time he's agreed to Daichi scheduling things with disregard to my schedule. Ratsuii's too, he's probably no happier about this than I am. It's like us being in university means nothing to Ny." 

Their professor comes in then, and the three of them quiet, though Taichi does slide his hand over and grasp Yamato's in supportive sympathy for a moment. Yamato attempts a smile at him, but he's aware it comes out like more of a grimace. Oh well, Taichi knows what he means. 

He gets out his books, and then opens his phone back up under the table, firing a quick text off to Ratz. _You hear from Ny?_

His phone vibrates a few minutes later, alerting him. _Yes. Opening act? He never checked with me. I have Luna tonight._

_Never checked with me either. Taichi offered to watch Naoki, he may watch Luna too if you ask._

_Okay, thanks. We brought this up with the photoshoot, he said he would check with us before scheduling things._

_I know. Told me it was too good to pass up, though. Can't tell if he's being deliberately obtuse._

_It's not like him. I know I tend to stay calm and keep the peace, but I'm ready to yell at him._

Yamato smirks when he reads Ratsuii's response, imagining such a scene in his head. _I'd pay money to see that!_

_Haha. If he keeps doing this, you may get your chance._

_I'll keep a camera ready, just in case._ He grins, his mood a little lightened with the exchange. In all the time they've been friends, Ratsuii's always been so level-headed—he can't recall the other boy ever having lost his temper. 

"What's got you smiling now?" Taichi whispers to him curiously. 

He grins wider, glancing over at him. "Ratsuii's threatening to yell at Ny." 

Taichi quickly smothers a startled laugh before he can draw the attention of their professor. "I'd love to see that." 

"Me too." 

"Pay attention!" Sora hisses, glancing at them both, but there's an amused little smirk on her face too. 

"Yes ma'am," Yamato murmurs, and bends over his notebook, the picture of studiousness. 

* * *

Unfortunately that brief texted conversation turns out to be the highlight of his day, because as soon as class is over he's rushing over to Ny's, where the band spends the next couple of hours hurriedly devising a setlist and then practising it, before they load up in Daichi's van and make their way over to the venue. 

Their opening act goes fine—Yamato doesn't forget the lyrics to the song from the new single they've included, or miss any notes, both of which he'd been worried about. But he has a hard time actually having fun. He fakes it well enough, but all he really wants is to just get Naoki from Taichi's and go home and curl up on the sofa with his son, watching a silly movie and enjoy hearing Naoki's laughter. He can't get into his singing at all, and worries that he might be losing his passion for the music, as he's never _not_ enjoyed playing a live before. 

Then he tells himself he's being ridiculous, he's tired and had little warning, so of course this live isn't as fun as their past ones. 

He's still tired from the live the next morning, and having to stay up extra late to finish his rough draft of his paper, and winds up being two or three minutes late to Dr. Kanada's class. Taichi's right there with him, but of course the man only focuses on him, ignoring Taichi completely. "You won't be able to join this quiz, Mr. Ishida, seeing as you can't manage to make it to class on time." 

He just nods, accepting it. Out of protest, Taichi refuses to take it as well, but that just makes him feel bad, that Taichi is letting his grade being affected for him. Thankfully, the professor at least lets him turn in his paper, though he doesn't really expect much of a grade out of it. 

"Koushiro was right, you should report this," Taichi tells him after class. 

"To who? No one will care." 

"To the head of the department. He's singling you out and treating you unfairly. I think someone will care if you tell them he prevented you from taking a quiz for being late, but not me even though I was just as late as you." 

Yamato scoffs. "I doubt it. _And_ ," he continues loudly over Taichi's protests, "even if they do, at most they'll probably just give him a warning, not fire him or anything. And then he'll just be even _more_ of a dick to me, for daring to get him in trouble." He glances at Taichi, his face serious. "It's not worth it." 

Taichi sighs, wishing he could convince Yamato, but knowing there's some truth in what his boyfriend is saying. He still thinks it can't hurt though, but knows he's not going to persuade Yamato to go. 

* * *

"Hey Takeru, you need any spare cash?" 

He hears his brother sigh through the phone. "How long do you need me to watch him?" Takeru asks, and his voice is both exasperated and amused. 

"For a few hours every day this week, starting tonight?" he says sheepishly. 

Another sigh, a little less amused this time. "I'm busy Wednesday, but I can do it the rest of the time," Takeru says reluctantly. "You're lucky I love you." 

"I'm sorry," Yamato says. "I have a paper I really need to work on. I'll pay you same as last time. Can you be here in an hour?" 

"I'll be there," Takeru tells him. 

"Thanks, little brother, love you!" Yamato says, and then hangs up, not waiting for a response, but knowing Takeru's likely shaking his head at him. 

He looks down at his desk then, at the paper on top of it with the now-familiar scathing comments and thinly-veiled insults, and sighs before leaving the room and going to prepare Naoki for Takeru's 'visit.' 

He spends the rest of the week working on it, thankful that Takeru is there to keep Naoki busy and not constantly distracting him. When he turns it in on Friday, not feeling very hopeful despite all his hard work, Dr. Kanada takes it with a sneer, remarking snidely that, "I hope you didn't just scribble down something the night before." 

"No, sir," he says simply, and takes his seat. He ignores Taichi's upset frown and pointed look. 

* * *

The next day he and Taichi have the closest thing to a 'date' they've been able to manage in just over a month. He doesn't want to keep dumping Naoki on his parents or Taichi's, so Taichi comes over to the apartment, where they can spend time together and he can still be with Naoki as well. 

"Totoro?" Taichi asks, raising an eyebrow at the opening scene as the three of them get settled on the sofa—okay, so Naoki is in Yamato's lap, but he's okay with that, because it means he can put his arm around Taichi's shoulder and have his boyfriend snuggle up next to him. 

"Hey, it's a classic. Might as well introduce my kid to Miyazaki while he's young." 

They watch the movie mostly in silence after that, stealing a few kisses now and then. Naoki's so engrossed in what's happening on the screen that he doesn't even notice. The first time Totoro shows up, Naoki claps his hands together and squeals. "Bunny!" 

Yamato laughs. "Not quite," he says, but his son pays him no mind, clutching his own stuffed bunny tightly as he continues to watch Mei climb atop Totoro and fall asleep. 

When the movie is over, he goes into the kitchen to make lunch while Taichi keeps an eye on Naoki. The little boy is hyper, charged up from the movie and running excitedly all around the apartment, pretending he's a catbus. Both Yamato and Taichi call out to him to stop running several times, telling him no in a stern voice, but he only listens for a few minutes, quickly forgetting and zooming around again. 

"See if he'll do something calm, like colouring," Yamato finally suggests exasperatedly, at his wit's end, and Taichi nods. 

"Naoki, would you like to colour?" Taichi asks the little boy, picking up one of the colouring books that had been left on the table, but Naoki just looks at him with wide blue eyes. 

"No!" he says, giggling, and takes off running again. 

"You know what, just bring in him here, I'll get him in his high chair," Yamato says, aggrieved. "Lunch is just about ready anyway." 

"Right," Taichi says, and goes to grab him, but Naoki sees it as a chase, and runs away from him. Taichi sighs and starts after him. "Why did you want kids again?" he calls as he follows Naoki down the hall. 

"I didn't!" Yamato hollers back. "It just sort of happened!" 

"Naoki, don't run!" Taichi cries, annoyance colouring his tone as the toddler slips around him in the bedroom doorway and goes back up the hall again. 

Yamato just shakes his head, hoping that the food will make Naoki full and sleepy enough for a nap in a bit, and he and Taichi can have some peace and quiet, and maybe a little fun of their own. A sudden thudding noise accompanied by a loud wail has all thoughts of sex flying out the window. He drops the potholder in his hand without any conscious thought, and races into the living room, fear lodging itself in his throat at what he'll find. Taichi's right there as well, coming out of the hallway, a look of terror on his face. 

Yamato's slightly closer, and reaches Naoki first, picking him up and looking over him frantically for injuries. It doesn't take him long—Naoki's run into the coffee table, and sliced his arm open on it. His heart lurches when he sees it. There's blood everywhere, and he can't tell how deep it is. 

"Fuck," Taichi breathes, catching sight of the wound, and Yamato doesn't even realise that Taichi's cursed in front of his son. "I'll get the first aid kit," Taichi says, and runs off again, coming back a few moments later with a small white box. Yamato ignores it for the moment, parental instinct kicking in, and he sweeps Naoki up into his arms, also ignoring the blood, not caring that it's getting on his shirt. The only thought on his mind is calming his child's terrified and pain-filled cries. 

"Shh, Naoki, it's okay, Daddy's here," he says, using his best soothing voice, rocking his son gently in his arms. The motion at least helps him calm himself some, even if it doesn't seem to be doing much for Naoki. Inside though, he's still frightened and panicky. There's so much blood, and Naoki's tears aren't stopping at all, and what if he needs to go to the hospital? Yamato can't recall ever having an injury like this, he doesn't know how serious it might be, or how much damage it might cause. 

He shushes Naoki some more, reassuring him that he's fine, still rocking him, desperately hoping Naoki's tears lessen soon so he can assess the injury and determine whether a hospital is necessary. Not knowing what else to do, he starts singing, a silly little song he made up himself for Naoki's bedtime as a baby. Taichi's hovering anxiously in the background, wringing his hands and looking uncertain and worried, but Yamato can't focus on him right now. He just continues to sing to Naoki, until gradually his son's cries finally start tapering off. He carries him to the kitchen, setting him down on the counter—absently realising that lunch is starting to burn, but he can't worry about that, only Taichi comes in then, and turns off the burner—and gently folding Naoki's arm over his chest so he can see the injury. 

Taichi hands him some wipes, which he uses to lightly begin cleaning the blood off. Then he takes a close look at the gash marring the tan skin. It's deep, but he doesn't think it's so deep that it would require stitches, or a trip to the hospital. "Does this look hospital-worthy to you?" he asks Taichi. 

Taichi comes over and looks, inspecting it, and then shrugs. "I'm no expert, but I don't think so," he says. Yamato kindly pretends not to notice the shaky quality of his voice. He's still feeling a bit rattled himself. 

With Taichi's help, he manages to get Naoki's arm cleaned and bandaged without too much more crying on Naoki's part, and only then does he turn back to their lunch, salvaging what he can of it. He's not at all hungry anymore, but he still needs to feed Naoki before putting him down for a nap. 

When he does finally get Naoki down forty-five minutes later, he goes to the living room and sinks down on the sofa, staring blankly at the blood still splattered in large rust-coloured droplets on his beige carpet. Taichi comes over and sits next to him, and Yamato leans his head onto Taichi's shoulder, everything catching up to him now that Naoki's asleep. He shudders, his calm façade shattering, and begins crying silently, his tears wetting Taichi's shirt. He's never felt so scared in his life, not even during all of their numerous battles in the Digital World when he was sure they weren't going to make it out alive. 

Taichi says nothing, only reaches up with his other arm and begins to gently run his fingers through Yamato's hair, comforting him. Yamato manages to compose himself shortly after, feeling a little embarrassed at breaking down even slightly in front of Taichi. "Sorry," he says hoarsely. 

Taichi shakes his head, indicating it's fine. "Maybe you should consider babyproofing the apartment," he suggests softly. 

Yamato frowns. He's never heard the term before. "Babyproofing?" he asks. 

"It's just a term for all the little things you do around the house to make it safe for a baby," Taichi explains, still petting Yamato's hair. "Anchoring furniture to the walls so a child can't climb it and topple it, covers for electric outlets so they can't stick things in there... Mom did it when she realised you wanted her to start watching Naoki regularly. She could probably help you figure it all out. They make these soft rubber corners you can put on the edges of coffee tables and things so if a kid runs into them, they can't injure themselves the way Naoki did." 

"I wish I'd known that before he hurt himself," Yamato says wryly, and Taichi looks guilty at that, though Yamato doesn't blame him for what happened in the least. 

"I just never really think about it when I'm here," Taichi says apologetically. "I wish I had." 

"Don't worry about it, it isn't your fault. I'll ask your mom about what all I need to do." He lifts his head then, and leans up to kiss Taichi. He just means it to be gentle, to let Taichi know he's not angry at him, but Taichi deepens it, kissing him with fierce abandon, his tongue delving into Yamato's mouth, tasting. 

Yamato moans into the kiss, nibbling on Taichi's lower lip greedily, hungrily. He can feel the first stirrings of arousal, his dick giving an interested twitch in his pants. Taichi growls against him, and then pulls away from the kiss to nuzzle into Yamato's neck, gently sucking at the sensitive skin there. Yamato shivers as Taichi slowly kisses his way up to his ear, lightly nipping at his earlobe, tugging at it, before tracing the outer shell of Yamato's ear with his tongue. 

It feels too good, and all the fear from earlier is slowly melting away as Taichi moves back to kiss him again. Yamato makes a needy little noise in his throat, breath hitching, and reaches over to wrap his arms around Taichi's neck, drawing him in closer, smashing his lips bruisingly against Taichi's as he thrusts his hips upward on instinct, desperately seeking friction. 

He doesn't get it, of course, with Taichi beside him on the sofa, and he whines, not liking it at all. He's suddenly feeling overwhelmed with intense need, wanting Taichi on him, in him, becoming one with him. Frustrated, he pulls away from Taichi, and then shifts until he's lying on the sofa, using the armrest as a pillow. 

With some maneuvering, Taichi is able to follow, his legs straddling Yamato, his butt resting against Yamato's groin. He can feel Yamato's erection against him, and it feels so amazing, so right. He scoots back just a little, until his own erection is pressing against Yamato's, and slowly grinds his hips, moaning at the wonderful contact, feeling their shafts rub together through their clothes. Yamato stares up at him, biting down at his lower lip, cheeks flushed red, blue eyes wide, pupils slightly blown in arousal, need and desire clearly reflected, and it's the hottest thing Taichi's ever seen at that moment. He leans down and undoes the buttons on Yamato's shirt one by one, yanking it open, and then lowers his head and latches his lips around Yamato's left nipple, sucking gently. 

Yamato sucks in a breath at the contact, and then groans and tangles his hands in Taichi's hair as Taichi swirls his tongue around. Taichi laves at the nipple for a bit, and then switches to his right one, scraping his teeth against it ever so slightly, and Yamato moans, bucking his hips, pressing Taichi's head down harder against his chest. 

Taichi teases him a bit longer, driving him absolutely wild until he can't stand it anymore—he _needs_ Taichi, _now_ —needs to feel him thrusting, his breaths harsh pants against Yamato's ear, his weight a comforting presence against Yamato's back, their legs tangled together as Taichi fills him. He tugs at Taichi's hair, and Taichi lifts his head, his lips red and swollen, eyes half-lidded as he looks at him in concern. "You okay?" 

Yamato nods frantically—he is more than okay, he is fantastic, and he doesn't want to wait anymore, doesn't care about foreplay today. "Want you inside me _now_ ," he says, voice forceful and filled with lust. 

Taichi's brows draw together in confusion—Yamato's not usually one for skipping straight to the main event. "My fingers?" he asks, trying to clarify, even as he idly begins rolling a stiff nub between his fingers. 

"No," Yamato groans, panting at the contact. "You, I want _you_ in me, I want your dick, I want it now, _please_ —" the last word is nearly a sob. 

"But—it'll hurt," Taichi protests. 

"Not that much, you can use plenty of lube, I just need you, Taichi, please!" 

"Okay," Taichi says, though he still sounds a bit doubtful. "Get ready while I get the lube." He gets off Yamato and darts off, heading to Yamato's bedroom. Yamato quickly sheds the rest of his clothes and rolls over, waiting impatiently for Taichi's return. 

"You sure?" Taichi asks as he comes back, and Yamato just nods into the sofa cushions. 

He hears Taichi stripping off his clothes and slicking himself up, and feels the weight as Taichi settles behind him, nudging him slightly to make room for his legs. Something cold drips into his crack, and then Taichi's dick is pressing at him, seeking entrance. 

It does burn—he's being uncomfortably stretched as Taichi slowly sinks into him, opening him up wide. But he knows it will pass soon, and simply grits his teeth until Taichi's fully inside him, both of them groaning in tandem at the sensation. Taichi waits a moment, letting him adjust, but Yamato makes an impatient noise, wiggling his hips, so Taichi begins to thrust. The first few are slow and shallow, and Yamato whines, needing it faster, harder. "More," he pants, and Taichi obliges, until soon he's pounding Yamato into the sofa, hitting his prostate with every deep stroke, and Yamato can't hold back his cries of pleasure. His own dick feels impossibly hard, digging into his stomach painfully, and he wishes they'd thought this through better, because he really doesn't want to come all over his still fairly new sofa. 

He can tell when Taichi's close, because his thrusts start to lose their rhythm a bit, and then Taichi's gasping, "I'm coming," in a breathless voice, moaning and holding himself deep as he spills into Yamato, then a second quick thrust and he buries and holds again, his fingers clawing into Yamato's shoulders, and it's so damn hot and he tries to hold back but he can't, his balls are drawn up tight and his dick's pulsing and he feels warmth spattering against his stomach and he knows he's just come untouched all over his sofa but somehow he just can't bring himself to care. 

Later, when they've cleaned up both their mess and Naoki's blood, he goes into Naoki's room to check on him, looking down at his son sleeping in his crib, that damnable white bandage wrapped around his arm. He hates that Naoki had to experience that. He knows it won't be the little boy's only injury, that there will be plenty others throughout his life, maybe even ones worse than this—but he can't help but feel guilty for this one, knowing how easily he could have prevented it, if he'd just known. 

Taichi comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around Yamato's middle and laying his head against his back. "He'll be okay," Taichi whispers to him. "He's a tough little guy." 

Yamato sighs, knowing Taichi's right. "I just never knew being a parent could be this scary," he whispers back. "I felt so terrified when I heard his first cry, and then seeing all that blood—I want to encase him in a bubble and make sure he never gets hurt again." He chuckles, quietly. "I know that's impossible, but that's how protective I feel towards him." 

"I'm not a parent, obviously, but I think that's pretty normal." 

"Yeah," Yamato says softly. "I guess it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Blooper 01**  
>  Taichi doesn't bother with teasing this time. Instead, Taichi starts sucking like his mouth's a powerful Hoover and Yamato's dick is the dirtiest carpet he's ever had to clean.


	4. Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Won my Nano! But I'm still writing chapter 07. Expect a lot of words in the future, haha.

"Hey. Any better luck this time?" Taichi whispers, nudging Yamato.

Yamato stares at the kanji saying "Fail" in red at the top for a moment, and then angrily shoves the paper in his bag, shaking his head at Taichi. "No," he says shortly. He doesn't want to discuss it. He's sick of the whole thing—of the class, of Dr. Kanada, of his unfair grades, of Taichi's well-meaning concern. He stares rigidly ahead to the front of the classroom as Dr. Kanada begins his lecture. He doesn't bother to take notes, or even listen—why should he bother, when it won't get him anywhere? He already knows how the rest of this course is going to go. He'll keep getting failing grades on his assignments no matter how hard he works, and not be allowed to take quizzes for made up, bullshit reasons, and at the end of the term he'll have a fail and nothing to show for his hard work, and will have to do it all again next term, hopefully with a better professor. So why put in the effort? 

He spends the rest of the day in a foul mood, the failing grade constantly in his thoughts, trying to imagine how disappointed everyone will be in him for failing the class. His mind keeps spiralling downward, and by the time he gets back to his apartment with Naoki, Taichi in tow out of worry, he's picturing all the worst case scenarios. He sinks down onto the sofa wearily. He's tired, and troubled, and his heart aches from the injustice and frustration of it all, so when a few tears start sliding down his cheeks he's not surprised, though he wishes he was alone to cry. 

Taichi's been standing by the entryway uncomfortably, clutching tightly to his own bag still slung around his shoulder, still wearing his rain jacket even, staring with some apprehension at Yamato, so he notices the tears right away. "Yamato," he says in an appalled, upset sort of tone, and that seems to be the cue to open the floodgates. Yamato starts sobbing, burying his head in his hands and feeling weak and ashamed of himself. It doesn't matter if it's Taichi—he doesn't want to cry in front of anyone, especially not over some stupid grades. But everything's piled up so much, and he can't seem to control it now. 

"Hey, no, don't cry," Taichi says, growing distressed. He hastily pulls off his bag and jacket, along with his shoes, leaving them all by the door, before going and sitting next to Yamato on the sofa. Yamato feels an arm going around his shoulder, pulling him in sideways. 

Naoki, who'd been placed in his newly bought playpen as soon as they'd got home, sees his Daddy crying and starts to cry as well, standing up and clutching the edge of the playpen tightly in chubby fists as he howls. Yamato, who's normally so prompt to go to his son and soothe him when he's upset, remains on the sofa instead, seemingly having a mini-breakdown, all of the hurt he's kept bottled inside all term finally spilling out through his tears. 

After a moment of uncertainty when it becomes clear that his boyfriend is going to let Naoki cry, Taichi goes reluctantly over to Naoki and lifts him up out of the playpen, holding him in his arms and softly rocking him, soothing him. "Don't cry," he says. He's feeling a little awkward doing this when he knows it should be Yamato. It makes him feel too much like a parent, and the thought of that scares him, bringing up things about his and Yamato's relationship that he's not yet ready to confront. "Daddy's just a little upset, but he's fine, really, don't cry. Shh," he tells the toddler. 

Naoki doesn't settle though, and Taichi decides to carry Naoki to his room, hoping that taking Yamato out of his sight will help calm him. It's not as if he has any better ideas, and Yamato's certainly not in a state to help either of them. When he gets there, he rocks Naoki for awhile longer, relieved when he realises the toddler's sobs are finally starting to taper off, and settles him down into his crib, giving him a few soft toys to play with until Taichi can hopefully manage to calm Yamato down as well, and maybe convince him into doing the right thing. He's dreading it—when Yamato's upset enough to let someone else see him cry, he's nearly impossible to reason with. 

He goes back into the living room, mentally preparing himself for an upset and crying Yamato, but he finds it's not as bad as he's feared—Yamato is still clearly upset, leaning forward with his head still in his hands, but he's no longer sobbing his heart out. Taichi sits next to him on the sofa again, hesitant. He knows Yamato isn't going to like what he's about to say, that it may start a fight, but he really thinks Yamato needs to do this. He sighs, mentally bracing himself, and just says it. "You really need to go the department head about Dr. Kanada." 

Yamato raises his head and looks at him incredulously. His eyes are red and swollen from crying, and still rimmed with unshed tears. His face is lined with despair, and it's a little heartbreaking to look at him. "I told you I can't," he says, voice low and full of anguish. 

"Remind me why not." 

"Because all that will happen is he'll get a warning and then be even more vicious toward me!" 

Yamato's already getting agitated at the subject. It's not a good sign. Still, Taichi carries on. "You don't know that," he points out calmly to his upset boyfriend. "He's treating you very unfairly, and giving you grades you don't deserve. We already have an incident where he showed bias against you on that quiz, and the whole class could vouch for that if necessary. I don't think the university would just let that go, or warn him and trust him to correct his behaviour." 

"But we don't know that for sure!" Yamato explodes at him, slamming his fist down into the sofa in anger. "I can't take that chance!" 

Taichi knows it's not him Yamato is angry at, but the rage still startles him. He's suddenly reminded of all the times when they were younger, and one of them would end up taking a swing at the other in anger. He wonders if letting Yamato punch him now would help, though he knows Yamato would rather die now before causing him any harm. Still, if he thought would help any, he'd let it happen. He doesn't want Yamato to be like this, even if he has to admit that desire is mired in at least partial selfishness—he doesn't know how to handle Yamato like this, and he wants things to be like before, when Yamato didn't have all this stress and responsibility and they could just always hang out and have fun. 

"Yamato, you can't just let this keep going on," he says, starting to feel a little desperate. He _needs_ to convince Yamato, needs for something to be done so he doesn't have to keep seeing his boyfriend upset every time they have that class, doesn't have to see Yamato constantly stress and kill himself over papers, doesn't have to see Yamato break down when he thinks he's going to fail. "Look at you, you're crying and punching things because of the way this jerk has treated you. You don't deserve that." 

"Of course I don't!" Yamato screams at him, once more starting to cry. It startles Taichi, but he barely has time to react as Yamato goes on. "But there's nothing I can do! It would only make it worse! Don't get all high and mighty and pretend you know what's best!" 

"Yamato..." It's painful, to see Yamato this agitated. He feels helpless, and hates it, hates that he can't do anything about it, not if Yamato won't let him. In the bedroom down the hall, he hears Naoki's wails start up again. The little boy has clearly heard his daddy yelling, and it's upsetting him. He doesn't go to him this time—he's not the parent. 

"Just get out!" Yamato yells at him, but the words catch easily, as if he doesn't really want to say them. "I don't want to talk to you right now!" 

"Yamato, no—" he tries, but Yamato's having none of it. 

"Get _out_!" he screams louder, and the rawness of his voice causes Taichi to wince. 

"Are you sure?" he asks quietly. He doesn't want to leave, not when Yamato's like this. He'd expected a fight, but not to get thrown out. It's startling, and worrisome. Yamato's always made good grades in school, but he's never realised before how seriously Yamato takes them—he's always assumed the band comes first. Now he's not so sure. 

"Just go!" 

With a heavy heart, Taichi does, grabbing his stuff and slipping his shoes back on without saying another word. He shuts the door softly behind him. 

Once he's gone, Yamato flings himself down into the sofa, shoving his face into a pillow and screaming for several minutes, getting out all the frustration and tears before he sits slowly back up. He doesn't feel better exactly, but he feels calm now, the urgency of needing to break down having faded with his screams. He takes a few deep breaths, wiping at his face with his shirt, and then goes to deal with his crying son. 

* * *

"Naoki's not with you?" 

"Hello to you too," Yamato says as he shakes his head at Koushiro. "And no, I'm paying Taichi's mom extra to keep him. I didn't think you'd appreciate him being here when it's supposed to be us hanging out." He steps into the house, removing his shoes for slippers, and follows Koushiro to the kitchen. 

"I don't mind. He's your son. Would you like anything to drink?" Koushiro asks him. "Or to eat?" 

"I'm good," Yamato says. 

Koushiro nods, and sets about making himself some oolong tea. Yamato watches him quietly, wondering if he should have just cancelled on Koushiro and gone home. Today has not been a good a day. He and Taichi hadn't spoken once to each other, and Taichi had not ridden the subway to university with him this morning. Sora, who had history with them, had been upset to see them ignore each other, and had tried to get them to make up, but Yamato wouldn't talk to her about it, and Taichi only told her to ask him what the fight had been about it. By the end of class, she'd been resigned to their not speaking to each other and let them be. When he'd gone to get Naoki, Taichi hadn't been home. He almost _had_ cancelled. When he's not in a good mood, he sometimes finds comfort in being with Naoki, in spite of him being only one—or perhaps because of it. Naoki can't really judge him, after all, and offers him unconditional love that usually soothes the ache in his heart. 

"You're quiet tonight," Koushiro observes. "Something on your mind?" 

Yamato hesitates, and then decides to hell with it. Unlike Sora, Koushiro will listen without judgement and offer what advice he can without trying to force them to make up right away. He's never fully outgrown his social awkwardness, but he's got a quick mind and a knack for solving problems, so Yamato figures he'll have something to offer. And if he doesn't, well, Yamato can at least use a listening ear right now. "Taichi and I got in a fight yesterday," he admits. 

"About what?" His tone is mild, and that reassures Yamato. Of course, it's hardly their first fight, and Koushiro's probably not surprised by it in the least. 

He sighs, leaning back against the counter. He suddenly feels weary. This whole fight is really his fault—he shouldn't have insisted Taichi leave. "You know that teacher I've mentioned before, that's being a dick to me this term?" He waits for Koushiro's acknowledging nod, and then continues. "Taichi thinks you're right, that I should report him to the department head. I think all that will do is just earn him a warning, and then he'll be even more vicious to me. He doesn't think so. We fought, I yelled at him to get out, he did. We haven't talked once today. I feel like a jerk." 

"He's probably worried," Koushiro says. "And feels helpless. You know how Taichi is, he always likes to be in the thick of things, doing whatever he can to help and make things right." 

"I know." The more he thinks back on it, the more miserable he feels. Taichi hadn't deserved his poor treatment. And it's so unlike him, to lose control like that. He normally keeps himself wrapped up tight. "I was really upset yesterday, I know he was just worried. I didn't mean to yell at him. I just want him to stop telling me I should report it." 

"Just talk to him. Apologise for yelling. Tell him the situation is very stressful, and you'd like it if you could spend your time together talking about happier things, and leave the professor situation at school." 

"Maybe," Yamato says. He's not sure it will be that simple, though. Taichi's really bothered by his treatment at the hands of Dr. Kanada. 

Koushiro gives him a wry smile. "Taichi's got a big heart, and doesn't like to fight. Especially not with the one person who means the world to him." 

Yamato smiles a little at that, knowing how true it is, and feeling oddly warmed by Koushiro's opinion of Taichi's view of him. "Yeah. You're right about that." He gives the other boy a bigger smile. "Thanks, Koushiro." 

"No problem. You still want to watch this movie?" 

Yamato grins. He's glad, now, that he hadn't cancelled, and thinks next time he'll even bring Naoki. "Absolutely." 

* * *

The next morning Taichi's left without him again. He also still hadn't been home when Yamato had picked up Naoki last night after leaving Koushiro's. He's a little annoyed that his boyfriend's avoiding him, but tells himself to just take a deep breath and let it go. He wants to apologise, not make the fight worse. And really, he'd sort of invited it, hadn't he, with the way he'd treated Taichi? 

He doesn't dare say anything during Dr. Kanada's class, and prob and stats is difficult enough for him that he needs to pay attention the entire time. He intends to talk to Taichi afterwards, since they both have free time before their third class, but Taichi's racing out of the classroom before he's even finished packing up, and by the time he makes it outside, Taichi's gone. He can feel himself getting frustrated again, but knows he wasn't exactly kind to Taichi during their argument, so he probably deserves a little avoidance. 

He knows he can just text Taichi, but he prefers to do it face to face, so Taichi knows he's not just saying it. He really does feel bad about their fight, and kicking Taichi out—he had definitely overreacted. Instead he decides to leave his intro to music class a little early, and ducks out with about ten minutes left of class time, heading over to Taichi's class to wait outside. 

Taichi tries to quickly head in the opposite direction when he exits the room and spots him, but Yamato refuses to let him, snagging on to Taichi's bag and yanking lightly. Yamato jerks his head towards the hallway, indicating that they should go somewhere more private, and Taichi frowns at him. He raises his eyebrows, his eyes asking if Taichi really wants to do this here in front of everyone, and after a moment Taichi sighs and nods. They walk down the hall, finding an empty classroom and ducking into it. 

"What do you want?" Taichi asks once they're alone, folding his arms across his chest and leaning casually against the whiteboard. His eyes lack any warmth, and though he's not frowning, he's not smiling either. He looks as if he'd rather be anywhere but here listening to Yamato—he's the perfect picture of disinterest. 

Yamato looks away briefly, knowing he deserves the sullen tone with the question but feeling slightly intimidated by it just the same. He hates apologising, even when he's in the wrong. He always feels so awkward about it. "I'm sorry," he says quietly, looking back at Taichi again, meeting Taichi's eyes and hoping his sincerity shows in his own. "I overreacted, and I shouldn't have made you leave. I know you were just worried." 

Taichi's merely watching him, not saying a word, and Yamato feels so uncertain and uncomfortable, wondering if Taichi's more upset than he realised, wondering if Taichi's not going to accept his apology. He forges onward anyway, not knowing what else to do. "I know you're just trying to help, but being in that class is so stressful that I'd rather us not discuss it when we're outside of it, because I just want to be able to relax and forget about it when I'm with you. But that didn't give me the right to yell at you, and kick you out. Forgive me?" He stops, then, having said what he needed to say, and waits nervously for Taichi's response. 

Taichi stares at him for a moment, his face impassive, and then he lets out a long breath, rolling his eyes. "You're forgiven," he says. "And I'll leave it alone for now. But I'll still worry." 

"I wouldn't ask you not to," Yamato says softly. Relief blossoms in his chest, and he sags slightly. He'd really been worried that Taichi wouldn't forgive him, which would have left their relationship a huge question mark. But he should have known better. He smiles at Taichi, and ten minutes later they exit the classroom with Taichi's hand clasped tightly in Yamato's. 

* * *

The following Thursday finds Yamato in line at First Kitchen. He rarely goes out for fast food, wanting Naoki to eat healthy, but tonight he's tired, and has too much homework to mess with cooking. So he's here, waiting to order, Naoki held in his arms, when he happens to glance around and spot Dr. Kanada at a nearby table, watching him. A wave of annoyance washes over him, but he does his best to ignore it, and continues to scan the kid's menu, wondering what Naoki might want most. There's only four items, but the little boy still gets overwhelmed if he has to decide between more than two things. 

"Do you want a cheeseburger or chicken nuggets, Naoki?" he finally asks, figuring that out of the three burgers the restaurant offers to kids, Naoki will go for the cheeseburger the most. Really, he's not sure why he's asking, because Naoki seems to love cheese, and picks it over everything when he has the chance. 

Sure enough, Naoki looks at him, all smiles, and says, "S'eese!" which is his word for cheese. He hasn't quite mastered double consonants. 

"Cheeseburger it is," Yamato says, smiling back at him, and Naoki reaches out and pats his cheek, giggling. He feels eyes on him, almost boring into him, and hugs his son to him protectively, still very aware that Dr. Kanada's watching him, and wonders what the man's problem is. It's bad enough he gets harassed in class, does the man have to bother him in public too? He hopes the professor isn't planning on coming over to him and dressing him down in front of everybody—the man lacks any ounce of politeness in class, but surely around strangers in public is an entirely different story. 

_Ignore it_ , he tells himself firmly. _Ignore_ him. _Don't let him get to you_. He gets to the front of the line and places his order, Naoki wriggling impatiently in his arms. The little boy wants to run around and explore. When he steps off to the side to wait for his food, he sets Naoki down, but holds firmly to his hand so he can't go anywhere. Naoki doesn't like this, but thankfully decides not to make a fuss. However, when he's approached by Dr. Kanada, he almost wishes Naoki _had_ thrown a tantrum—it would likely be easier to deal with. 

"Mr. Ishida," the professor says, nodding in greeting, and his voice is probably the least hostile Yamato's ever heard it. It seems the man can be polite after all, at least somewhat. 

"Dr. Kanada," Yamato says. He does his best to seem cool and distant, not wanting to encourage Dr. Kanada. He's still wary of being humiliated, and wonders what his professor could possibly want. 

"Is this your little brother?" Dr. Kanada asks him, nodding down at Naoki. "Are you babysitting for the night? How old is he?" 

"He's my son," Yamato says shortly, "and he'll be two soon. I don't 'babysit' him, I take care of him." The assumption galls him, but it's hardly the first time he's gotten it from strangers, so he supposes he can't entirely blame the man. 

Dr. Kanada raises a surprised eyebrow, looking the two of them back over with a newly assessing eye. "Where's his mother?" 

Yamato silently fumes at the question, finding it rude and unnecessary. Like it's any of his business! Still, he decides to answer anyway—maybe it'll teach the man not to judge so hastily in the future. "She wasn't interested in a kid, and gave me all rights before he was born. I haven't seen her since I left the hospital with my son." 

The shocked look he gets in return _almost_ makes all the humiliation of the term worth it. It makes him feel viciously glad, to see all the man's preconceived notions being torn apart right in front of him. "See you in class," he adds as he hears his number called, and then grabs his order of food before swinging Naoki back into his arms and leaving. The man's a jerk, and even if he fails he'll be glad to be rid of him once the term's over. 

* * *

"Now, some of you haven't been doing so well this term. Maybe some of you don't care, and that's fine. But if you do, this is your chance to make it up. I'm offering an extra credit assignment, due next Wednesday." 

"Close your mouth," Taichi hisses at him, but Yamato ignores him, mouth still gaping. He can't help it. Their syllabus clearly states that no extra credit work is ever given, and Dr. Kanada had spent a good portion of their first class stressing this point. Even Jou had confirmed it for him. 

He wonders what has changed the man's mind. He also wonders—if he does the extra credit, will he still be graded unfairly? It seems likely, but he knows he'll do it anyway. He'd definitely shocked his professor with his son last night, and he can't help but hold some hope that it will make Dr. Kanada stop treating him so harshly. He listens as the man continues to explain the assignment, scribbling down notes on it. 

"Are you planning on doing the extra credit?" Taichi asks him once class is over, and he just nods. He's not sure it'll make a difference, but he has to try. Taichi gives him a worried look, but says nothing, respecting Yamato's request to not talk about it. 

He spends the weekend and the start of the week working on it whenever he has a spare moment, paying Taichi's mom extra to keep Naoki for a couple more hours on Tuesday so he can finish up the assignment. He feels so grateful to her, that she's always so willing to help him out when he needs it, knowing that if it weren't for the support of his friends and family, he probably never would have made it this far. 

Wednesday morning he turns the assignment in, meeting Dr. Kanada's eyes for a moment. He feels nervous, but the man gives away nothing, his expression blank as he nods in acknowledgement for receiving it. The rest of the day, along with Thursday, he finds it hard to concentrate on anything, wondering if Dr. Kanada will be fair, wondering if he'll get a good grade, wondering if maybe he'll get to pass the class after all. He feels resigned to failing by now, but if there's any chance— 

When he gets the assignment back Friday morning and sees the perfect score at the top of the paper, he nearly yells in astonishment. A little bit of noise does escape him, and Taichi looks over, his eyes widening in shock. "Did you get the right paper?" Taichi whispers, and Yamato stabs his finger at the five characters that make up his name. 

"It must be because he saw me with Naoki," Yamato whispers back. 

Taichi just looks confused. "What?" he asks, and Yamato remembers he'd never told him about that encounter. 

"I'll explain later," he mouths as Dr. Kanada returns to the front of the room to begin the lecture, his hands now empty of assignments. 

* * *

When exams roll around next week, Yamato goes to the one for Dr. Kanada's class with a new sense of confidence. He's a little worried that the extra credit assignment was just a fluke, perhaps the professor's way of messing with him, but he firmly tells himself he can't think like that, and when he leaves the classroom after finishing his exam, he feels certain that he did well, and the only question that remains to be seen is whether he'll be graded fairly. The rest of his exams also go smoothly, and he's able to face his dad with a smile on Friday evening as he drops off Naoki. 

"Pass everything?" his dad asks as he takes the diaper bag handed to him. 

"I think so," Yamato says cheerfully. "Thanks for watching Naoki, Dad. I'll be back by eight at the latest." 

His dad just waves him away. "Go have fun with your friends," he says. 

Yamato gives his son a goodbye hug and wave, and then leaves, making his way to the restaurant where he, Taichi, Sora, Jou, and Ratsuii had all agreed to meet up, to celebrate finishing their first—well, fourth for Jou—term in university. 

Everyone else is already waiting outside for him when he gets there, and he hurries up to them, idly wishing for the rainy season to come back, because the humidity in the mid-July air is making him sweat already. "Hey guys," he says. "Sorry to make you wait." 

"It's fine," Ratsuii tells him. "Shall we go in?" 

They all give their agreement and then head inside. "Welcome," a waitress greets them. "Just five?" At Jou's nod, she continues. "What style seating would you prefer?" 

Jou looks around at the others. "Traditional?" Everybody nods. 

"Very good," the waitress says, ever smiling. "Let me take you to a table." 

They all remove their shoes and then follow her. Once they're settled on to their cushions and orders taken, talk soon turns to their classes they just finished. 

"Do you think you did okay in Dr. Kanada's class, Yamato?" 

Yamato frowns at the question, fiddling with his glass of water, wiping away the condensation with a finger. "It was weird," he says. "He came in a couple of Fridays ago and offered extra credit." 

"He's never given extra credit," Jou says incredulously, but Yamato can only shrug helplessly at him. 

"He gave me top marks on it," he says. "And I feel that I did well on the exam. So I should at least pass, if nothing else." 

"That's great, then!" Jou exclaims, smiling wildly at him. He looks across the table to Taichi. "What about you, did you have trouble with that class? You two had it together, right?" 

Taichi shakes his head, slipping his hand into Yamato's under the table and squeezing in silent support. "We did, but he pretty much ignored me even though it was obvious I was friends with Yamato," he tells them. "I never had a problem with my grades." 

"What's this all about?" Ratsuii asks, confusion colouring his tone. He looks to his left at Yamato, wanting an explanation. 

Yamato sighs. "My lit professor apparently decided he didn't like me because I was late the first day of class, and he's been giving me unfair grades and making snide remarks at me all term. Then I ran into him at First Kitchen while I had Naoki with me. He asked about him, so I told him Naoki was my son and his mom didn't want him, and the next day he came into class and offered extra credit, after making a point at the beginning of the term to make sure everyone knew he doesn't offer extra credit. It was strange." 

"And he gave you top marks on the extra credit?" 

"Like I said: strange." He shrugs again, not concerned enough to decipher his professor's reasons. He never has to see the man again, after all, and that suits him just fine. "How about you guys, how did your classes go?" he asks, wanting to change the subject and deflect attention away from himself. 

Jou makes a face, starting to speak, but just then their waitress returns with their food, and they all wait a moment as they are served, thanking her politely. "I feel like I barely have time for anything outside of studying," Jou complains once she's gone. 

"You're planning on med school, right?" Ratsuii asks. Most of his knowledge of the Chosen often comes from what Yamato occasionally shares, as the band and the Chosen never hung out together too often in high school, and Jou had gone to a different one than them anyway. Though Yamato has to admit to himself that he's amazed Ratsuii's able to remember it all, and keep it straight. Of course, Ratsuii also doesn't have friends outside of their band, so maybe it's not that surprising he can keep up with the information. 

"Yes." Jou absently shoves his glasses up his nose before picking up his chopsticks and breaking them apart. "Let's eat," he says softly, and everyone echoes him. For a few moments there's only the sound of eating, before Ratsuii continues the conversation. 

"You want to be a doctor?" he asks, still directing his question towards Jou. 

Jou finishes his bite of food before speaking. "It's what my parents want, and I'm fine with it. But it's a lot of work to prepare for medical school, even this early on." 

"I think you'll manage just fine," Sora says, smiling at him. "I remember how you were in our first days in the Digital World—always so anxious until one of us got hurt, and then you were the most cool and collected of us all, fixing us up as best as you could." 

Jou blushes at the compliment. "I just like helping people." 

"Digital World?" Ratsuii asks, looking around at them curiously. 

The rest of them freeze, looking at each other with a slight sense of panic, and a bit of apology on Sora's face. None of them have any idea what to say. Taichi, Sora, and Jou all look to Yamato, since he's the one that knows Ratsuii best. He gazes at each of them helplessly, no more sure than the rest of them how much he should explain, if anything at all. 

"...It's a long story," Yamato finally says, glancing to his right at his friend. "Remind me some other time and I'll try to explain what I can." 

"Okay," Ratsuii says slowly, sounding confused but still willing to accept Yamato's answer. They go back to eating, still chatting about classes, along with the band's upcoming plans for the summer hols. Eventually their celebratory evening comes to an end, and he and Taichi are soon alone in his bedroom, getting in a little quality time before Yamato heads back over to his dad's to get Naoki. 

"Why does this always feel so fantastic?" Yamato mumbles, sliding out of Taichi with a slick pop and rolling over to collapse back on the bed. 

Taichi laughs. "Because humans would have died out long ago if it didn't, probably," he says. "You gonna be ready to leave in a few minutes?" 

Yamato groans. "We need to start doing this when I can just roll over and sleep afterwards," he says, letting out a long sigh. He groans again, and closes his eyes. "Give me a few minutes." 

"Don't fall asleep," Taichi warns him, slipping off the bed to clean up and get dressed again. 

"I won't." He does, though, and Taichi sighs, crawling back into bed to curl up beside him. Just for a little bit. 

* * *

Naoki's second birthday falls on a Sunday this year. While he appreciated Mimi's enthusiasm for an American-style party last year, Yamato definitely does not want to repeat that again, finding it way too lavish—especially for a child that's too young to remember it. Instead he just invites his parents and brother over, along with Taichi, and bakes a small cake, placing a big number "2" candle on top of it. 

Taichi comes over an hour early, and handles getting Naoki bathed and dressed while Yamato finishes frosting the cake and picks up the mess in the apartment. Taichi's placing Naoki in his playpen just as the doorbell rings, and Yamato hurries to answer it. 

"Hi, Dad," he says, stepping aside to let the older man in. 

His dad greets him with a tired smile, nodding at Taichi as he removes his shoes. "How are you doing, Taichi?" 

"Fine, sir," Taichi says, grinning at him. "Looking forward to the hols." 

Yamato leaves the two of them to chat and entertain Naoki as he goes back into the kitchen to take care of the last few dirty dishes. 

His mom and Takeru arrive around ten minutes later, just as he's drying the very last plate, and he quickly places it in the cabinet and steps into the living room. "Hi, Mom," he greets as Taichi lets them in. "Hey, Takeru." 

"Yamato," his mom says with a smile, slipping off her shoes for slippers before coming over to him and enveloping him in a hug. The smell of her perfume assaults his nostrils. It's not unpleasant. He hugs her back, briefly, and then steps away, giving her a small smile to take the sting out of it. Physical affection from his mom still makes him feel a little uncomfortable, no matter how many years they've gotten along now. 

"Hi, Dad," Takeru says with a wide smile. 

Yamato watches his brother with a pang of nostalgia, missing when Takeru used to run up to both him and their dad and hug the life out of them, always so happy to see them. Now Takeru's older, and though he's still a gentle soul, he's picked up on his dad's awkwardness with physical affection, and no longer does it. It makes him wonder if Naoki will be that way someday—he does his best to hug his son and give him love, but he's not used to it, and he knows it shows. He worries Naoki will pick up on it when he starts getting older, the way Takeru has with their dad. It makes him feel sad, thinking of it. He only wants his son to know how much he's always been loved and wanted. 

"Hello, Hiroaki," his mom says, greeting his dad with an awkward, uncertain smile—if one can really call it that. One corner of her mouth turns up hesitantly, looking more like a grimace than anything. 

"Natsuko," his dad returns, equally uncomfortable, nodding at her. 

Yamato and Takeru both watch them in confusion for a moment, and then glance at each other. Takeru raises his eyebrows, silently questioning, and Yamato shrugs, not sure what to make of it either. He doesn't remember them acting this way around each other before, but then, they haven't really done things together solely as a 'family' in years. 

Naoki breaks the unsettling tension by shrieking happily at them suddenly, raising his arms up, wanting someone to pick him up. Yamato watches as his mom seems to take it as her cue to break away from his dad, and lifts Naoki into her arms. "Hi baby," she says, giving him quick little kisses on his nose and cheeks. "I haven't seen you in a few weeks. You're getting so big! I can't believe you're turning two today!" 

Yamato rolls his eyes at her back, even though his thoughts had been along similar lines when he'd woken this morning—not that he'll ever admit it. 

They all visit for some time with each other, his parents asking after all of their schooling—Yamato hasn't told them about how Dr. Kanada treated him for most of the term, so he just smiles and tells them he thinks he did well. His parents both still seem awkward around each other, making Yamato exchange several glances with his brother, but they both can tell their parents are trying to pretend everything is normal, possibly for Taichi's sake. 

Eventually they get around to opening Naoki's presents. Yamato has to get the wrapping started with a tear or two, but after that Naoki is able to finish pulling the paper off, looking at everything with interest and curiosity. His mom has gotten Naoki a couple of new outfits, while his dad has bought him two new books. Takeru gives him a few toys, and Taichi gets him a new colouring book and a box of neon coloured crayons. Yamato gets him some toddler friendly puzzles, and a new swimsuit—Yuuko has mentioned taking him to a wading pool during the summer when she has to watch him. 

After presents comes the cake, and—with a bit of assistance from Yamato—Naoki manages to blow his candle out, grinning when Yamato tells him, "Good job!" in a proud voice. Yamato takes it back and cuts it, handing out a slice to everyone. 

"This is good," his dad says after a few bites, and the others echo him. 

"Thanks," Yamato says, blushing a bit. It's not often he gets compliments on his cooking—Naoki's not exactly eloquent, and the few times Taichi stays for dinner he's too busy stuffing his face to speak, though Yamato supposes that's a compliment in itself. 

Shortly after finishing his cake, Naoki starts fussing, cranky. It's getting close to his nap time, and he's getting sleepy. 

"I think that's our cue to leave," his dad says, when Naoki throws his empty juice cup to the floor, yelling "No!" really loudly. 

Yamato sighs, bending down to pick up the cup. "Yeah, it's about time for him to take a little nap—We don't throw things, Naoki—sorry about that." 

His parents wave it away, while Takeru just looks relieved it's not _his_ kid. They all say their goodbyes to Yamato while Taichi takes Naoki to his bedroom, and soon it's just him and Taichi looking at each other in the living room. Taichi waggles his eyebrows, grinning suggestively. 

"Fine," Yamato says, rolling his eyes. "Are you ever _not_ horny?" 

"Nope!" Taichi says cheerfully, and quietly races down the hall to Yamato's bedroom. Shaking his head, Yamato follows him, a fond smile on his face. 

* * *

A week later, Yamato goes online to check his grades for the term. When he sees the passing grade for Dr. Kanada's class, he's floored. It's not a perfect score, of course, but it's more than he'd expected, even with the extra credit. He finds himself wondering if the man went back and re-graded his older assignments fairly. 

After a moment of staring at the grade, he shrugs and powers down the computer. He doesn't really care how he got it, all he cares is that he passed and now he never has to deal with Dr. Kanada again. He can't ask for more than that. 

"I passed," he says quietly to Taichi, who's sprawled out on the sofa on his back, his feet dangling over one end and his head resting on a cushion towards the middle. He's holding manga up in the air, reading it, and it looks like the most uncomfortable position ever to Yamato, but he's been that way for the last half hour without moving. 

"Dr. Kanada?" 

"Mm-hmm." 

"Good, I'm glad that dickface finally saw the error of his ways," Taichi remarks, not looking up from his manga as he turns a page. 

Yamato raises his eyebrows. "Dickface?" 

"Have you _looked_ at his nose? It's like the end of a mini dick right in the middle of his face." 

Yamato snorts. "I could have done without that mental image." Taichi's not really wrong, though. 

Taichi simply grins at him.


	5. Round and Round

"See you tomorrow, Yamato!" Kenji calls, and Yamato just lifts his hand wearily, too tired to give any verbal acknowledgement. His throat's also starting to feel a little ragged after three straight days of laying down tracks for the band's new and upcoming album, and he doesn't want to completely destroy it before they've finished. They've been getting two to three tracks done a day, so he estimates they've still got three or four days left of recording, though he'll at least have the weekend off.

Taichi greets him with a smile when he knocks on the door of the Yagami apartment. "Hey, how'd recording go?" he asks, as he's asked the past two days. 

"Fine," Yamato responds, as he's responded the past two days. "Where's Naoki?" 

"I think Mom's changing him," Taichi says. "You want to stick around for awhile, maybe watch a movie or something?" 

His face is hopeful, and Yamato feels bad for having to turning him down, but he's so exhausted all he wants is to get back home, get Naoki fed and in bed, and then collapse. He just doesn't have the energy to hang out tonight. He shakes his head. "Sorry, I really need to just get home and get us both to bed. I've got an early morning again." 

Taichi's face falls. "Still not finished?" 

"Sorry," he says quietly. 

Taichi tries to smile and shake off his disappointment. "Well, maybe some other time. Work comes first, right?" 

"Right. Sorry," he repeats, not knowing what else to say. He feels like he just kicked a puppy. 

Yuuko comes up to the door then, a squirming Naoki held in her arms. "Daddy!" he cries, reaching out chubby hands. Yamato smiles tiredly, taking him from her arms. 

"Hi Naoki," he says. "Did you miss me?" He winces when Naoki shrieks happily into his ear. "Thanks for watching him," he tells Taichi's mom. "Will you be able to watch him tomorrow as well?" 

She smiles at him, while Taichi ducks back into the apartment to grab Naoki's already packed diaper bag. "Of course," she says warmly. "I enjoy looking after him. It's no trouble at all." 

"Okay then, I'll be by around the same time tomorrow. Thank you again." He leans down to let Taichi loop the diaper bag around his shoulder, blushing when Taichi gives him a quick kiss, glancing in embarrassment at Yuuko. 

"See you tomorrow," Taichi tells him softly. 

He nods, and then starts off home. 

* * *

They don't finish the recording until Wednesday afternoon. Yamato's relieved, and looks forward to spending some time with Taichi and Naoki finally—Taichi's tried to get him to stay and hang out a few more times, but he's had to beg off each time, too exhausted to be sociable. Even on the weekend, when the band took a break, he found he just didn't have the energy to see Taichi, and barely managed to take care of Naoki. He knows Taichi's bothered by this a little, but he appreciates that he's trying to keep it from showing to Yamato. 

Unfortunately, things don't quite work out the way either of them want. He does get to see Taichi on Thursday, as Taichi comes over to the apartment, but it winds up with Yamato sleeping the majority of the day away while Taichi takes care of Naoki. He doesn't even mean for it to happen—he just can't seem to get himself back out of bed after what he intended to be a short nap. 

When he wakes up late that afternoon to Naoki's giggles echoing down the hall, there's a text waiting for him on his phone. He fumbles to open his messages, squinting blearily at the words on the small screen. 

_Don't forget, photoshoot and interview tomorrow at 10:00._

"Fuck," he mumbles, groaning as the message starts to sink in. He can't even get mad at Ny this time, because they had all agreed on it beforehand before confirming with Daichi. He'd just completely forgotten about it. He sighs, throwing back the covers and getting out of bed, brushing uselessly at his wild hair with a hand before going down the hall to the living room. 

Naoki spots him immediately, jumping up from his colouring and running up to him with a happy yell and throwing his small arms around his legs in a tight hug. 

"Hey, look who's finally awake," Taichi says, greeting him with a grin as he abandons his own colouring. 

He just grunts, untangling himself from Naoki's embrace, wishing he were back in bed still. He doesn't want to see Taichi's disappointment when he learns they can't spend time together tomorrow. He really hopes that nothing comes up Saturday, so that they can perhaps finally go on a date. He's so tired that he can't even remember when their last one was. 

"There's some leftover lunch in the fridge if you're hungry," Taichi tells him, beginning the arduous task of cramming all the crayons back into their tiny little box. 

He raises one thin eyebrow, hardly believing Taichi's cooked, given that Taichi seems to have inherited his mom's skills in the kitchen, or mostly, since he's capable of making a few basic meals. Taichi, catching on to his meaning, shakes his head. "It's takeout," he says. "I'm not that crazy." 

Yamato would laugh, if he weren't so exhausted. Instead he just nods and goes to sit on the sofa, curling up against one end, head leaning against a pillow and legs tucked up against his body, watching as Taichi continues to pick up his and Naoki's mess. Naoki climbs onto the sofa and sits next to him, as close as he can possibly manage. Yamato allows it, even though it's making him feel claustrophobic at the moment. He feels like a terrible parent. He's been so busy recording the album that he's barely spent any time with his son, taking him over to Yuuko's almost as soon as they wake up, and then feeding and putting him to bed as soon as they get home again for the evening. They'd had the weekend, but he'd mostly had Naoki in his playpen while he took care of laundry and dishes, and their only outing consisted of going to the grocery store. Naoki's handling it surprisingly well, barely throwing any tantrums, but somehow that just makes Yamato feel even worse. 

He knows it can't really be helped. The summer hols is the best time for the band, one of the only times they have to get all of this business taken care of uninterrupted, without having to worry about his and Ratsuii's school schedules (not that Ny really did anyway). But he still hopes that it'll slacken off some soon, so that he and Naoki can have a day together without him being exhausted and no fun. He worries sometimes about how things will go in the future, when he's finished with university and able to focus on the band full time, when they've hopefully gone major by then. What will he do when the band wants to go on tour across Japan? What if they get famous enough to tour in other countries? It doesn't seem like the kind of life to raise a child in. But at the same time, he still can't imagine himself in a job like his dad's, still can't imagine himself _not_ being in the band. 

"You're quiet," Taichi remarks, glancing back at him, and he catches the worry in both the tone and the look. 

"Just thinking," he says. 

"About what?" 

"The future." 

"Dreaming of being a famous world-class rock star?" Taichi asks with a grin, and he shrugs. 

"Something like that," he says. He doesn't have the mental energy to get into all his fears and worries with Taichi, not right now, not with Naoki next to him, just happy to finally be cuddling up with his daddy. Which reminds him. "I have a photoshoot and interview tomorrow." He winces at the sight of Taichi's face visibly falling, wishing Taichi didn't take it quite so personally, and then feeling bad for thinking that way. 

"It's all day?" Taichi guesses, trying to come across as neutral about it and failing miserably. 

He nods. "Sorry," he says with a sigh. 

His boyfriend tries for a smile. "Don't be. It can't be helped. Besides, it'll be worth it when you're swimming in money, right?" His laugh comes out awkward, and all wrong. Yamato doesn't laugh with him. 

Instead, he just nods again. "Yeah," he says. "One day this will be worth it." He only hopes that's true. 

* * *

Somehow Yamato makes it through the photoshoot and interview. He downs a lot of caffeine, and feels a little sorry for the make-up people, who have their work cut out for them to hide all the bags under his eyes and make him look presentable for the camera. The photoshoot is grueling, and when he picks up Naoki, he's once again too tired to stay awhile and spend time with Taichi. 

"Are we going to be able to go on a date tomorrow?" Taichi asks hopefully, and he finds himself wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole so he doesn't have to think about how disappointed Taichi always looks lately. 

"Daichi booked us for a last minute opening act tomorrow," he explains, feeling like a louse. "We're covering for another band that had to cancel. I'll have to spend the day practising." 

"Oh," Taichi says, his smile momentarily dropping off. "Maybe Sunday?" 

"Maybe," he says, non-committal. He'd like to, but he already knows he'll likely spend Sunday sleeping. "I'll call you if I can," he adds, feeling guilty for the not-quite-a-lie. 

"Of course." Taichi smiles at him, and it seems genuine this time, but Yamato gets the feeling that Taichi knows he'll be waiting a long while for that call to come. 

* * *

He takes Naoki to his dad's on Saturday, for a change, and then he heads straight over to Nyusumi's house, where Emi lets him in. Her hair's changed some since the last time he saw her, going from all pink to a black to pink ombre with a bit of a wave to it. He knows this means Ny's hair has changed too. They always colour their hair to relate to each other in some way—how most people don't realise they're twins, he's never understood. 

Sure enough, when he walks into the bedroom Ny's hair is no longer the dark blue shade with pink streaks, but is now also an ombre colouring, going from black to a lighter blue, though unlike Emi he doesn't have waves, preferring instead to still pull it back in his usual ponytail. He figures it's good timing, as most of their fans always seem to enjoy seeing what new colour combinations Ny will come up with next, especially when he matches his hair to the casual visual kei style clothing he always likes to wear. 

"Hey guys," he greets them, already wishing the night were over with. His apathy worries him a little. He normally loves playing at lives, getting pumped up and energetic for them, and spending the day in a nervous excitement. This will be the third time he dreads playing, and he wonders whether he'll enjoy the live itself once he's on stage. 

"Hey, Yamato." Kenji and Ratsuii both smile at him, and he thinks that they both look as worn out as he feels. He can understand Ratsuii, since he has Luna to take care of, but he's a little surprised at Kenji. Kenji's always been the most energetic of them, and always manages to summon up enthusiasm for a band-related project no matter how overworked and exhausted the rest of them are. To see _him_ showing signs of lagging means they must all really be running themselves ragged. He wonders what Ny's reaction would be if he asked to slow it down some. Not good, probably. 

Shaking his head at himself, he gets his guitar out of his case, putting all thoughts of anything other than their songs out of his mind. "Do we have a setlist?" he asks, and Ny nods. 

"Just a few songs again," he says. "We're going to start with _Kimi to Iu Kisetsu_..." 

Like last time, they spend the majority of the day practising as much as possible, barely stopping for lunch—which is takeout that Emi brings them, and they inhale it down as fast as possible. When the time comes for them to leave, they once again pile into Daichi's van. Taichi's waiting for him when he gets there, lurking around the back entrance to the venue, looking completely out of place in khaki shorts and a blue polo, and he raises an eyebrow, a little surprised. He'd told Taichi where he'd be playing, of course, but he hadn't expected Taichi to come, since they would only be playing for a little under an hour. Still, he appreciates the support. 

"You didn't have to come," he says, approaching Taichi once they get out of the van. 

Taichi just shrugs, looking down at the ground and scuffing his shoe a bit. "I wanted to." 

For some reason, this gives Yamato a lump in his throat, and he feels overwhelmed suddenly—he's not only been a terrible parent lately, he's been a terrible boyfriend. He reaches out and pulls Taichi close, holding him in a tight hug. Taichi seems startled by the suddenness of the move, but after a brief pause he lifts his arms up and wraps them around Yamato in a return embrace. "You'll get through this," Taichi whispers to him softly, and he lets out a shaky breath, burying his face into the crook of Taichi's shoulder. Then he pulls away, suddenly embarrassed. He hates when his emotions get the better of him. 

"Thanks," he says, and changes the subject, trying to feel composed again. "You wanna watch from backstage or in the crowd?" 

Taichi takes a moment to think it over. "Backstage," he finally says. "I'd never make it back out of the crowd once you were done." 

Yamato actually laughs at that, feeling a little better now that Taichi's here, though he's still dreading the live. "Okay, come on then," he says. "We'll clear you, get you a pass. You can even help set up if you want." 

"Sure," Taichi says with a grin, and they start to make their way inside. Taichi grabs his hand, clasping their fingers together, and merely smiles when Yamato looks over at him. After a few seconds, Yamato smiles back, and tightens his grasp. 

* * *

The live goes well. Yamato hates it. It worries him, and confuses him. He still enjoys coming up with songs, he still enjoys singing outside of these past few lives, and when he thinks about leaving the band it feels as if something cold grips his heart, so he's pretty sure he wants the band still, he just doesn't understand why he hasn't enjoyed himself in it lately. 

He knows part of it is stress. Dealing with the band seemed easier when they were in high school, especially when they weren't on any labels and could just play for fun. Now, even though it's just an indie label, they're subject to others' schedules and always constantly aware of doing their best and gaining popularity so they can make it big. And add to that the fact that he's in university now, which is a lot more work than high school, _and_ he's got Naoki to take care of... 

He doesn't know what he can do about any of that though. He obviously can't just stop taking care of Naoki, and he doesn't want to drop out of university, but he also can't really expect Ny to put the band on hold for four years until he's graduated. They'd never go major then. But he's so worn out with not getting to spend time with his son, with Taichi, with his friends or other family... He just doesn't know what to think. 

After the live, Taichi rides in the van with them back to Ny's house. His bandmates are pumped up, gesturing animatedly as they relive the past hour over again. Yamato stays quiet, just glad the night is over and he's going home soon. Taichi merely watches him, holding his hand again, concern in his eyes. Yamato's reactions after lives are usually more in line with his bandmates' reactions, and Taichi's aware of this. Yamato knows he's probably leaving Taichi feeling a bit unsettled, but he's too tired to try and reassure him. 

"Are you going straight home?" Taichi asks once they're standing in front of Mr. Ishida's apartment building, looking up at it. It's dark outside, only the street lamps casting their small glows on their faces, but Yamato doesn't need the light to know that Taichi's face is hopeful, wanting him to say no and to finally spend some time together. 

Yamato nods and tries to adopt a look of apology, once again hating that he's having to disappoint Taichi. "I just want to sleep," he says. 

"Of course," Taichi says. His voice is easygoing, no trace of upset, but Yamato's not stupid. 

"Maybe Thursday?" he suggests. "It would be sooner, but the band's booked up..." 

"Sure. Just call me?" 

"Of course," Yamato tells him, echoing his earlier words. 

Taichi gives him a kiss goodbye then, one that lingers and really makes Yamato tempted to change his mind, to tell Taichi, 'I can stay for an hour.' But he can't. His dad's waiting on him, and he knows he needs to hurry up and get both him and Naoki home to bed before he passes out. He pulls away from Taichi reluctantly, and gives him a small wave before he heads inside the building. 

* * *

It's Naoki's crying that wakes him up Sunday morning. Groaning, he lifts his head and looks at the small clock on the table beside his bed, noting that it says 10:00. Usually on Sundays he has Naoki up at nine... He lets his head flop back down into the pillow and stays there for a few seconds, knowing he needs to deal with his son but just not feeling like he has the energy. He's so tired, he just wants to sleep a little longer... 

Naoki's wails increase, as if he senses his daddy is awake, and Yamato sighs and throws back the covers. "Okay, okay, I'm coming," he mumbles. He pads down the hall to Naoki's room sleepily, and lifts his crying son out of the crib, shushing him a bit until the little boy calms down. He goes through their morning routine on autopilot, thinking of nothing but how desperately he wants to crawl back in bed. 

Once he's managed to get Naoki dressed and fed, he knows he can't deal with his son for the whole day—he's falling asleep on his feet. Feeling like the worst parent in the world, he drags his cell out and dials his mom's number. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey Mom," he says, not bothering to hide the exhaustion in his voice. 

"Yamato? Is everything okay? You don't sound well." 

"I'm fine," he says automatically. "Actually, no, can you take Naoki for today? Please?" There's a slightly pleading tone to his voice that he hates, but if it'll get his mom to agree to watch his son, then he'll put up with it happily. 

"Aren't you free today?" she asks in confusion. "Don't you want to spend the day with him?" 

"I can't," he says. "Please Mom, can you please just take him for today?" He's almost on the verge of crying, and it's humiliating, but he just needs to _sleep_ , he can't deal with anything right now. "I'll pay you whatever you want, if you'll please just watch him for the day." 

"Well... okay, honey," she says. "I can watch him if that's what you want. You don't need to pay me, though." 

"Thank you," he says fervently, sheer relief washing over him. "I'll have him over within the hour." 

He hangs up and begins preparing a diaper bag, throwing whatever he can think of in there. Then he wipes the rest of Naoki's breakfast off his face and gets him down from the high chair. "Come on, big guy," he says. "We're going out." 

They do fine until Yamato gets in to his mom's apartment and sets the diaper bag down, thanking her for watching him on short notice. That's when Naoki seems to catch on that it isn't just a visit, and he's being left again. He starts crying and screaming almost immediately, yelling "Daddy 'tay!" at the top of his lungs. 

Yamato looks at his son on the floor, tears rolling down his red cheeks and chubby fists beating angrily against the carpet, and knows he just can't deal with it today. "Thanks again, Mom, sorry about this" he tells her, and backs out of the apartment, knowing she'll be able to handle Naoki just fine and hating himself for abandoning him just the same. 

Wishing he had the energy to spend his free day with Taichi, he heads back to the station and rides back to his apartment, nearly falling asleep on the subway a few times. Only the guilt of ditching his son keeps him awake, that last image of him as Yamato left the apartment lingering in his mind. _I'll make it up to him later_ , he thinks, letting his head rest again the window. _He'll be fine. This will be worth it when we make it big._ He knows it's true, knows that once they make it big, he can be sure that Naoki will never be left wanting, but it's still a hard pill to swallow when his son's throwing a tantrum over not getting to spend time with him. 

The walk back to his apartment from the station seems twice as long as usual, and he lets himself into his apartment wearily, wincing with fresh guilt as the silence hits him. He knows Naoki should be here, in his playpen happily smashing toy cars together, or at the coffee table scribbling all over one of his colouring books, or running around the apartment playing some pretend game. 

"He'll be fine," Yamato tells himself firmly, out loud this time so it'll seem more convincing. "He likes Mom. He'll have fun." 

He doesn't believe himself, but he crawls into bed anyway, pulling the covers over him to block out the sunlight. He's asleep almost immediately, and he doesn't wake until it's nearly dark outside, the sky glorious shades of dark blue and purple and red. His clock declares it to be 6:26, and he can hear his cell ringing in the living room. He sits up just as it stops, blinking the sleep out of his eyes and trying to wake back up. He thinks about going back to sleep, just for another hour maybe, but then his phone starts up again, and he lets out a loud sigh of aggravation. "Fine, I'm coming," he mutters. He knows it's probably his mom, wanting him to come get Naoki soon, and he needs to get out of bed and call her back. 

Yet he sits there for probably another ten minutes or so, trying to summon up the energy to _move_. He's so tired still. When he finally does slide himself out of the bed, he moves sluggishly, feeling as if he's trying to walk through water or something. He stares blankly at the display on his cell for a few minutes, before registering that it was indeed his mom who tried calling him—not just twice, but five times. He can only surmise he slept through the first three times. 

He dials her number with slow, fumbling fingers, having to start over once when he accidentally hits the wrong button. "Hey Mom," he says when she answers. "Sorry I missed your calls." 

"Where have you been?" she demands, and he winces to hear the frantic worry in her voice. "I've been trying to call for almost an hour now!" 

"Sorry..." he says again. His brain's working too slow to come up with a valid excuse, so he doesn't even try. "I was busy," he offers instead. "Is Naoki okay?" 

"He's fine," she says, calming down some. "He misses his daddy though, and has been crying on and off all day. Neither Takeru nor I have been able to really cheer him up. I think you should come and take him home now, he clearly needs to be with you." 

"Right," he says, and does his best to ignore the overwhelming sense of guilt that comes over him. He truly is a horrible parent. "I'll be there soon then. Thanks." He flips his phone shut, and after checking in the bathroom mirror to fix his hair and brush the cotton out of his mouth, he locks up the apartment and begins the walk to the subway station, thinking he'll take Naoki to the toy store and let him buy something. Bribing his son with material goods feels a bit low, but right now he has nothing better to offer. He just hopes it'll be enough for Naoki to forgive him. 

* * *

The next three days are an exhausting whirlwind of constantly changing costumes, having makeup done over and over, and being repeatedly told just where to stand. It takes the band two days to record the new PV, and then the next day is taken up with yet another photoshoot. He doesn't understand how there can be so many different music magazines that want their pictures—and new ones every time. Can't they just all use the same ones? 

Naoki isn't happy about once again being left with Taichi's mom. He cries every day when Yamato leaves him, and it breaks his heart to see and hear his son's distress. There's not much he can do though, so he just hugs Naoki and heads out. He's not free again until Thursday, and even though he'd love to hand Naoki off to someone again and just sleep, he knows he can't do that. So instead he calls Taichi up and invites him over. It won't be a date, they can't go out anywhere, but he and Taichi have spent so little time together that just having Taichi there will be nice, and he doubts Taichi will complain either. 

Taichi immediately attacks him with a long, deep kiss when he pulls open the door. Yamato barely has time to let out a startled breath before Taichi's arms envelop him, pulling him in close. When they at last break apart some moments later, Yamato can only stare at his boyfriend, wide-eyed. He absently notes that Taichi's dressed up a bit, in tight dark jeans and a dark grey short-sleeved plaid button down. He's tamed his wild hair some, and if Yamato weren't so tired he'd probably feel the first flutters of arousal at the sight. He also suddenly feels like a slob, wearing a simple pair of threadbare khakis and and a worn black t-shirt that has small holes in a few places. 

"Missed you," is all Taichi says, grinning. 

"Clearly," Yamato manages, feeling slightly out of breath from that kiss. Taichi simply keeps grinning. 

"So what are we doing today?" Taichi asks as he walks in, even as Yamato goes over to the sofa and settles himself firmly into it. 

"Anything that doesn't involve my butt leaving this spot," he says, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. He feels a lot like he did in the early days after Naoki's birth, constantly exhausted and never quite getting enough sleep, except this time he has no crying baby to blame it on. He feels a heavy weight settle onto his lap, and opens his eyes in time to see Taichi's arms wrap around his neck. "Taichi, what—" he starts to say, but he's cut off as Taichi leans in and presses his lips gently against his. He sighs slightly against Taichi's mouth and gives into the kiss, even though he's aware of Naoki in his playpen not ten feet away. 

"This doesn't involve leaving the sofa," Taichi murmurs some moments later. 

Yamato's tempted, but after a moment he shakes his head. "Naoki's watching," he says. 

"So? What's wrong with him seeing a healthy relationship between two consenting adults?" 

"I'm not having sex in front of my two year old son!" Yamato exclaims incredulously, giving Taichi a disbelieving look. 

Taichi leans away, resting his weight more fully on Yamato's legs, and scratches at his head in confusion. "Who said anything about sex? I was just talking about making out, at least while he's awake," he adds, smirking a bit. After they put the kid down for nap later, though, all bets are off... Taichi's looking forward to that part already. He smirks at his boyfriend again, thinking of all the things he's going to do to him. 

Yamato rolls his eyes, easily knowing what's going through Taichi's head. "As tempting as that is," he says, "I need to clean the apartment, and actually spend some time with my son as well. He hasn't seen much of me lately either." 

"Yeah, it'd take Mom a good hour or so to calm him down after you left the past few mornings," Taichi says, frowning as recalls the tantrums. "The poor little guy was so upset." 

_Great, even more to feel guilty about_ , he thinks. "Well, you've both got me for the day," he says aloud. "So let's do something fun. As long as I don't have to move." 

Taichi laughs, and finally climbs off of him, leaving Yamato to breath out in relief as feeling comes back to his legs. "That doesn't leave us a whole lot of options, then. We could watch a movie?" 

"Movie!" Naoki yells as his sharp hearing catches the word, jumping up and down in his playpen, although Yamato notes with amusement that his 'v' comes out more like a 'b'—he clearly hasn't mastered his pronunciation yet. 

"I suppose that settles it then," Taichi declares, smiling cheekily at Yamato. "The master of the Ishida household has spoken." 

Yamato snorts. "That would actually be my dad, as he's the eldest living Ishida." 

"Not in this apartment." 

Yamato just shakes his head at him, groaning as he heaves himself up off the sofa. "Go get some snacks for us, I'll get Naoki." 

"You trust me in your kitchen?" 

"You're not cooking anything." 

He nearly drops Naoki when he starts to lift him out of the playpen, being more tired than he'd expected still. He's glad Taichi's in the kitchen with his back turned, so he doesn't see Yamato's blunder. Naoki doesn't seem to mind though, just happy to be near his daddy again. He spends the whole movie cuddled up in Yamato's lap, and Yamato tries to ignore the guilt at how much he's neglected his son lately, even if he doesn't mean to most of the time. 

When the movie's over, Taichi gets up and carries their snack bowls back into the kitchen. Yamato remains on the sofa, thinking he'll be back in a moment, but then he hears running water and dishes clinking. "What are you doing?" he calls out, loudly enough for Taichi to hear him over the noise. 

Taichi doesn't respond for a moment, but finally hollers back, "Dishes!" with just a hint of a challenge in his voice, as if daring Yamato to protest. Yamato _does_ think about it—after all, he didn't invite Taichi over just to do his chores—but finally he decides he just doesn't have the energy for an argument, and if Taichi wants to clean for him, who is he to stop him? Besides, Naoki's still on his lap, and he's not about to make him move, knowing the likely tantrum he'll get. Instead, he closes his eyes and leans his head back into the cushions, thinking he'll just rest for a few minutes. 

When he next opens his eyes, the shadows across the wall have moved some, and Naoki's no longer on his lap. He looks around, noting that the living room seems cleaner than it was before he apparently fell asleep, and neither Taichi nor his son are anywhere to be seen. 

"Taichi?" he tries to say, but his voice is thick with sleep and all that comes out is a low croak. He clears his throat, and then tries again. He hears a door down the hall shut quietly, and then Taichi's coming back into the living room, looking at him with amusement. 

"Hi sleepyhead," he says quietly. "I just put Naoki down for his nap." 

Yamato blinks. "You fed him?" he managed, and Taichi nods. Yamato stares at him, trying to process that fact, but his brain's not awake enough. "You cleaned?" he also asks after a moment, and Taichi nods again. 

"Before you even protest," Taichi says, "I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to, okay?" 

Now it's Yamato's turn to simply nod. "Thanks," he says after a brief pause for Taichi's words to sink in. He lets out a small whoosh of air when Taichi comes over and gets in his lap again, his legs folded at the knees on either side of Yamato, digging down into the cushions. 

"Now we can finish what we started earlier," Taichi murmurs to him, before leaning down and claiming his lips. 

Yamato's not sure about it, really—he's so worn out still, he just doesn't know that he has the energy for all the things Taichi likely has in mind—but he knows it's been awhile for both of them, with him having been so busy all summer hols already, and so he just goes with it, kissing Taichi back and doing his best to put some passion into the kiss. 

Taichi makes a contented little noise against his mouth, pressing harder, reaching up and placing both hands on the cushions on either side of Yamato's head, pushing him back into the sofa, nibbling gently on Yamato's lower lip. After a moment, Taichi pulls away, looking at him, his eyes already heavy with lust, and Yamato _wants_ to feel that, wants to be enjoying this as much as he usually does, but even though he's trying, he's just _not_. 

Taichi doesn't seem to realise though, for he's soon kissing him feverishly again, his tongue eventually darting out to demand entry. Yamato opens his mouth obediently, and lets Taichi taste him, but he finds he doesn't have the heart to get into it, to kiss him back with his usual fierce abandon and heated moans. Taichi stops suddenly, pulling away again and looking at him, this time in concern. "Everything okay?" he asks. "Normally by now you'd be tangling your hands in my hair and thrusting at me..." 

"Sorry," Yamato apologises, rubbing wearily at his eyes. "I'm just tired..." 

Taichi raises an eyebrow. "Well, I could probably fix that..." 

Yamato hesitates. He doesn't know exactly what Taichi has in mind, but he's pretty sure that regardless of what he's planning, it won't work. His dick hasn't even given one interested twitch so far. But he hates to disappoint Taichi, knowing how long he's probably been waiting for this, and especially with the hopeful, puppy-dog eyes he's giving Yamato now. And it can't hurt to at least try, can it? Taichi's a guy too, he's been there, he'll probably understand if Yamato just can't get it to work. "Go ahead," he finally sighs. 

Taichi doesn't waste time. He's at Yamato's khakis immediately, undoing the button and zip, fishing around in the slit in Yamato's boxers, pulling out Yamato's dick and swallowing him down almost to the base in an instant. Normally something like this would have Yamato hard in seconds, but his stupid, uncooperative dick remains limp in Taichi's mouth, though his mind is certainly enjoying the sudden urgency Taichi's displaying. 

Taichi tries hard, Yamato has to give him credit for that. Any other time, he'd be gasping and moaning Taichi's name, digging his fingers into Taichi's back and letting out a streak of curse words every time Taichi hummed, or swirled his tongue around the head, or took him down in his throat. But no matter how much he wants to, he just can't get hard—he doesn't have the energy to enjoy it. 

Taichi seems to understand it's not going to work, and pulls away, letting Yamato slip limply out of his mouth. "No good, huh?" 

"It's not you," Yamato tells him, feeling bad that he can't give Taichi what he wants. "I'm just so exhausted from all the band stuff... all I want to do lately is sleep. You know any other time I'd be hard for you in an instant." 

"I didn't mean... I'm not blaming you," Taichi reassures him. "If it's not working, then it's just not working. I'm sure every guy has been there. There's always some other time, yeah?" 

"Yeah," Yamato says softly, as he awkwardly tucks himself back into his boxers, buttoning up his khakis again. 

Taichi slides off his lap into the seat next to him, cuddling up against him. "I'm still glad to spend a little time with you," he says quietly. "You wanna watch another movie, one that doesn't have to be kid friendly this time?" 

"I might fall asleep again," Yamato warns him, but Taichi just shrugs. 

"I don't mind," he says. "I can take care of Naoki, and I'll wake you when I have to leave. If you need the sleep, then sleep." 

"Thanks," Yamato says softly as Taichi gets up to find a movie and put it in the DVD player. He comes back over once he's got one started, leaning down to give Yamato a gentle kiss before cuddling up next to him again, his head against Yamato's chest. Yamato throws his arm around him and tilts his head down, resting it against Taichi's, just thankful for Taichi's presence. 

* * *

The next day finds Yamato free again, and though he's still not his usual self, he at least doesn't feel like he's about to collapse from exhaustion any second. He decides to take Naoki out clothes shopping, as he's noticed the past week or two that the kid has outgrown everything he owns yet again. 

"Out," Naoki says happily when Yamato helps him get his shoes on. 

"Yes, we're going out," Yamato tells him. He just hopes the good mood lasts. 

They go early, so that the mall hasn't yet had time to get crowded with teenagers enjoying their break from school. He keeps one hand firmly grasped to Naoki's, and with the other browses through the racks and shelves of clothes as quickly as possible, knowing how easily his son can get bored. He lets the toddler pick between two colours for shirts every so often, wanting him to feel involved and also wanting him to be occupied so as to stave off some of the boredom. His brain's still feeling somewhat sluggish though, and he catches himself just staring at the clothes more than once. He can't help but wish that Mimi hadn't gone back to America several months ago—her help would be invaluable right now. Eventually, though, he has a sizable pile of clothing, and goes to find a dressing room. 

Naoki's amenable enough to trying on the first few outfits—he especially likes looking at himself in the mirror, grinning at his reflection and reaching out his hands to touch it. He's also fascinated by the thin, faint scar that's now on his arm from his run-in with the coffee table, though it makes Yamato wince every time to look at it. But around the fifth outfit change Naoki starts getting cranky, stubbornly insisting "No!" as Yamato fights with him to pull a shirt over his head. 

"Don't you want to see how you look in these?" Yamato asks him exasperatedly, but Naoki just says "No!" again in a loud voice, crossing his little arms over his chest. 

"What if I buy you ice cream after this?" Yamato tries, not at all above bribing his kid this time, if it'll get them out of the store faster. 

"No!" 

Yamato sighs and silently counts to ten in his head, praying for patience. He doesn't have the energy to deal with a grumpy two year old right now, and decides it's not worth the fight. If something doesn't fit, he'll just have to return it later. "Fine," he says. "We won't try anything else on. But you still have to put your clothes back on." 

"No! No no no!" Naoki cries, stomping his foot—clearly a tantrum is imminent if Yamato doesn't do something now. 

"Naoki, you can't wear out clothes you haven't paid for," Yamato says, reaching hard for patience, but still Naoki refuses, so he breaks out the sternest voice he can manage. "Do you want to go into timeout when we get home?" he asks. 

"No!" Naoki wails at him, lower lip trembling and blue eyes shining with unshed tears. 

"Then let me change your clothes so we can buy this stuff and leave," Yamato tells him. He's never entirely sure how much Naoki understands him, but he at least stops fighting and lets Yamato get him changed one last time. They get through the register quickly after that, and then head back home. It's only when he looks at the clock on the stove that he realises exactly how long they'd been gone, and figures it's no wonder Naoki started fussing. He should have been eating lunch half an hour ago. Just how much time had he wasted zoning out so often? 

"I'm sorry I missed your lunch, Naoki," Yamato says, but the kid just looks at him. 

Shaking his head at himself, he quickly sets about fixing Naoki lunch, and then gets him to his crib for a nap. Then he sets his alarm clock and crawls into his own bed for a nap. He doesn't usually like naps during the day, but lately it seems like it's all he's done. For once, though, he doesn't care. He needs it. 

* * *

"Yamato?" 

"Huh?" He jerks, eyes snapping open as he stares around himself for a moment, feeling disoriented before remembering he's having lunch in a small, casual café in Aqua City with his dad, Takeru, and Naoki. Did he really just fall asleep? 

"I asked how you've been doing lately," his dad says, worry visible in his face as he and Takeru exchange concerned glances. 

"Oh, sorry," he says. "I'm fine. Really. The band's been doing a lot, you know, taking advantage of the summer hols and all the free time." 

"Yeah, you guys are putting out a new album soon, right?" Takeru chimes in, trying to keep the mood light. He's just as worried as their dad, Yamato knows, but he also knows how much Yamato hates to have that kind of attention focused on him. "I get a free copy, don't I?" 

Yamato smiles at him, or at least tries to. The muscles in his face don't seem to be cooperating. "Of course," he says. "Don't you always?" 

"Just checking," Takeru says with a grin before shovelling a large forkful of food into his mouth. 

Yamato remembers then that he has food, and looks down at his plate. He's hardly touched it. He picks up his sandwich and takes a bite, and then also remembers he should be helping Naoki. He looks over at the toddler, who's got a fistful of chips that he's gnawing on, and decides Naoki's fine on his own. 

"How's work doing?" Yamato asks his dad, mostly just to be polite. 

"Oh, you know how it is," his dad says, shaking his head. "Always something going on with somebody..." He starts detailing his coworkers' latest drama, and Yamato tries to listen, but soon finds himself drifting again. He doesn't fall asleep this time, but it still takes a snap of Takeru's fingers in front of his face to get his attention again. 

"Sorry, what?" he asks. 

"Are you sure you're alright?" his dad asks him. 

"I'm fine," he says, as he always does. "Why?" 

"You've barely heard a word Takeru or I have said to you," his dad tells him, and this time the worry is in his tone of voice as well as his face. 

"And you've hardly eaten a thing," Takeru adds, looking pointedly at Yamato's still full plate in comparison to everyone else's empty ones. 

"Oh," he says. It takes him a moment to realise he needs to say more, to reassure them. He's regretting agreeing to this lunch now, wishing he'd just stayed at home and stuck Naoki in his playpen while he napped on the sofa. "Sorry," he finally says. "Like I said, the band's just been busy. I'm a little behind on my sleep. But I'm fine. Don't worry." 

"If you're sure..." his dad says doubtfully, and he nods firmly. 

"I'ceam!" Naoki interjects then, looking at them happily, and Yamato frowns. 

"No ice cream today, baby," he says. "We need to get back home soon." Before he falls asleep again and worries his family even more. 

"No! I'ceam!" Naoki insists with a loud wail, and Yamato just shakes his head. Naoki starts crying then, loud sobs tearing out of him, howling for ice cream still every now and then. Yamato knows he's supposed to be doing something, supposed to be handling his son's meltdown somehow, but he's still half-asleep and not really processing it, so all he does is stare blankly as Naoki starts banging his fists as great big tears rolls down his cheeks. 

When it becomes clear that Yamato isn't going to do anything, his dad quickly gets up and snatches Naoki out of his chair, carrying him outside to calm him down. Takeru watches him go, and then turns back to his older brother, who's still sitting there, not reacting. He hasn't seen Yamato this bad off since the first months of his nephew's life, and it's a little worrying. For everyone's sake, he hopes Yamato gets some sleep soon. 

* * *

Another photoshoot on Monday has Yamato about ready to rip his hair out and run around the building screaming. What was supposed to be only a couple of hours has instead taken all day, thanks to their incredibly demanding photographer. He apologises profusely to Yuuko when he finally gets to the Yagami apartment to pick up Naoki. 

"You may want to start looking into potty training him soon," Yuuko tells him as she hands him the diaper bag. "He's been showing a lot of interest in how the bathroom works, and starts complaining immediately as soon as he needs a new diaper. Those are usually good indicators he's ready for it." 

Yamato sighs, making a face. He already has too much else going on, he doesn't want to deal with training Naoki to use a toilet on top of it. But of course he's given little choice in the matter. "Thank you," he tells her. "I'll look into it." 

When Tuesday morning rolls around, he sleeps in a little bit, then gets up and takes care of Naoki, finally settling him down into the playpen while he collapses onto the sofa to catch another hour of sleep. When he gets back up, Naoki is thankfully still playing quietly in his playpen, so he goes online and looks up books on potty training, ordering a few and paying extra to have them delivered tomorrow. He knows he could have just as easily gone to the bookstore and picked them up, but he's just too tired to go out today. 

The next day the band has a meeting with Daichi, but Yamato doesn't even bother trying to ask someone to watch Naoki for an hour or two. He just grabs up the always packed diaper bag, and heads over to Ratsuii's house, as Ratz had insisted on having the meeting there as he equally didn't want to find a babysitter for Luna, who he had to watch alone today. 

"Hey, you brought our mascot!" Kenji exclaims when Yamato walks in, Naoki in tow. Yamato doesn't even bother to banter with him for once, just gets Naoki set up with some toys and then settles himself with the others, ready to get the meeting over with. 

Daichi starts with affirming their upcoming release date for their album, along with the promotional video—which is out Friday—and then moves on to some of the things he has planned for them, outlining everything. 

"So how does all that sound?" Daichi finally finishes up, looking around at them. 

"That sounds fantastic!" Kenji says, grinning widely, bouncing his legs rapidly in excitement, black hair flinging every which way as he looks around quickly at the rest of them. "At the rate we keep going, we'll be major in no time!" 

"I'm fine with it, but my schooling is important too," Ratsuii says. His voice is mild, his demeanour calm, but there's a hint of steel to his tone that lets everyone know he's serious. "Mine _and_ Yamato's schedules both need to be taken into account more this term. We are just as much a part of this band, and it's very unfair for you and Ny to schedule things for us without checking that we _all_ are agreeable to it." 

"Agreed," Yamato says quietly. "Your scheduling nearly cost me a class this past term." He's glad Ratsuii has spoken up. He's never had too much of a problem confronting people—except when it comes to something that really matters. Had Ratsuii not said anything, he probably would have just sat quietly seething. 

"Fine, we can do that easily, no problem, right?" Daichi says, giving them a smile. It comes off as insincere to Yamato, and judging by the frown on Ratsuii's face, he's not the only one to think so. 

"We mean it, Daichi," Yamato tells him, giving the older man as serious a look as he can manage. 

"Of course! I'll check with all of you!" he says, and then moves on. Yamato and Ratsuii exchange a look. They can only hope their manager will stick to it this time. 

* * *

When he gets home a little bit later, he finds his books have been delivered—he trips over the box as he tries to put the key in the lock. Grumbling under his breath at the postman, he bends down to pick it up, and then gets the door unlocked. He slips off his and Naoki's shoes, and then lets the toddler run around while he sets down the diaper bag and opens up the package. 

He spends a couple of hours reading through them, interrupting himself to remind Naoki to be careful every once in awhile. At one point Naoki toddles over to him, and climbs up on the sofa, looking at the book currently in Yamato's hand. "Story?" 

Yamato lets out an amused snort at the thought. "It's a boring grown-up story," he tells the boy as he closes the book. "You hungry?" 

Naoki smiles enthusiastically at him. "Okay, let's go get dinner then," he says, and Naoki follows him amiably into the kitchen, where Yamato begins preparing dinner. Once it's in the oven he goes online and looks up a few more tips, and then calls Naoki back in the room. 

"Naoki, do you want to learn to use the toilet like Daddy does?" he asks, and Naoki grins wide, nodding his head up and down in exaggerated movements. 

"Okay then," he says, and pulls up a website where he lets Naoki pick out a training toilet of his own. He's just finished up the ordering process when the oven timer chimes, and he shuts down the computer and goes to grab their food out. 

They take it easy the rest of the night, and all of the next day. Yamato thinks about inviting Taichi over, but knows he's not good company and it would likely go as well as it did the last time—him sleeping while Taichi cleaned and took care of his kid—and he just doesn't want to do that to Taichi again. 

Friday, though, he realises he has no choice but to go out. School is starting back up next week, and he needs some new supplies and a few new clothes for the upcoming autumn and winter seasons, not to mention he and Naoki are getting low on groceries. He gets Naoki ready slowly, dreading the excursion. Not only will Naoki likely get fussy at all the stuff they have to do, but the band's PV is being released today—he rarely gets stopped for autographs outside of school, but there's always that chance. 

"Come on, baby," he finally murmurs, and they head out. 

To his surprise though, he manages to make it through the day pretty easily. He picks up the stuff he needs while Naoki tags along quietly, content to hold his hand and look around at everything, gnawing on the ears of his stuffed bunny every now and then. He takes them out for a quick lunch after that, and rewards Naoki with some ice cream. Afterwards they head to the grocery store, and Yamato goes through quickly, tossing food into the cart with a practised ease. 

It's only when he's leaving the store, his few bags in one hand and Naoki's hand held in his other, that he hears the sound he's been dreading—a high-pitched female voice squealing his name. 

A small girl of about seventeen or eighteen rushes up to him, her brown eyes shining. "Can I have your autograph?" she asks him. "I just love your music! You're so talented!" 

"Ah, thanks," he says as he awkwardly kneels down to set his bags down, and then takes the CD from her. He fishes around in his pocket for a pen, and then signs the CD's insert and hands it back to her. "There you go," he tells her, smiling politely. 

"Thank you so much!" she cries. "Hey, who's the little guy, with that blond hair and pretty blue eyes he looks just like you! Is he your brother? He's so cute!" 

He bends back down to get his bags again, and thanks her for the compliment, deliberately not answering her questions about Naoki, then tries to leave. Unfortunately, she follows after him, still talking a mile a minute. "Are you guys having a live any time soon? I saw your opening act a couple of weeks ago, it was great! I'd love to see you perform a full live sometime! Maybe when you have one, you could let me know?" 

Yamato blinks as he continues walking, wondering if that's her way of trying to ask him out on a date. "Sorry, we're not having a live anytime soon," he tells her, and takes a moment to hope that's true—otherwise he'll have to kill Daichi. 

"Oh, well that's too bad," she says, sounding disappointed. He doesn't understand why she won't just go away already. He can't go home as long as she's following him, not if he wants to keep where he lives a secret, and it's starting to stress him out. "Hey, that place has great coffee!" she exclaims as they pass a small shop. "You want to go in for some? Your brother—he is your brother, right?—he could probably have some cocoa or something." 

He halts then, and turns around to face her, looking at her hopeful smile. Naoki lets out a little cry at the sudden movement, but he pays him no mind for the moment even though he hates to ignore him, but he needs to get rid of this girl _now_ , before she finds out anything about Naoki, or his personal life, and decides to spread it to tabloids. "Look, you seem nice," he says, trying to stay calm and polite, "but it's the band's policy to not date any fans." The band doesn't actually have any such policy, though given the amount of fans Kenji has slept with—and to say nothing of how Naoki came about—they probably should, but right now he's willing to make up anything to get her to leave. 

"Oh," she says, her face falling, disappointment lacing her tone. "Well, we could keep it a secret, couldn't we? No one has to know." 

"I'm sorry, I just can't take that risk," Yamato says. "But there's plenty of great guys out there, I'm sure you'll find someone." 

He turns around again to walk off, and is thankful that this time he doesn't hear her footsteps following along behind him. He makes it home quickly after that, and has Naoki play quietly in the living room while he unloads the groceries and puts away his clothes and school supplies. He calls Taichi while he starts dinner, feeling the need to vent. 

"You won't believe what just happened," he complains in lieu of a greeting once Taichi picks up. 

"Hello to you too," Taichi says in amusement. "What happened?" 

"Some girl wanted my autograph—" 

"Isn't that normal?" Taichi asks, interrupting him. 

He rolls his eyes, even though Taichi can't see him. "It's not that," he says as he pulls out a cutting board and knife. He starts chopping up some carrots, bringing the knife down with a little more force than necessary as he allows himself to get angry now. "She kept following me after I gave her one, asking all these questions about Naoki and trying to get me to go on date with her—I almost didn't think I'd be able to go home because she wouldn't leave me alone!" 

"You told her no, right?" Taichi asks. 

Yamato frowns. Taichi's voice sounds a bit odd, and he doesn't understand why Taichi would even ask such a question. "Of course I told her no," he scoffs. "Why would you ask me that?" 

"Heh, it was a dumb question, I guess," Taichi says, but he still sounds a bit off. Yamato's a little confused, but doesn't have a chance to address it before Taichi's changing the subject. "Any chance _we_ can go on a date?" he asks hopefully. 

Yamato smiles a bit as he dumps the carrots in the skillet and grabs out an onion. He's still really worn out, but he's free tomorrow, and he knows he owes Taichi a proper date—they haven't had one all summer hols. "If your mom will watch Naoki tomorrow, we can," he says and laughs when Taichi cheers, shouting out a loud "Yes!" 

"I'll ask her," Taichi says then, and then calls off into the distance. "Hey Mom, can you watch Naoki for a couple of hours tomorrow?" 

Yamato doesn't hear the reply, but Taichi's second excited cheer gives him a pretty good idea of the response. "So I'll see you tomorrow then? Around eleven maybe?" Yamato asks, pausing in his chopping to hear Taichi's reply. 

"Sounds good!" Taichi says cheerfully. "See you then!" 

They say their goodbyes, and then Yamato flips the phone shut and gets back to preparing the stir-fry, humming under his breath, his mood lightened just from hearing Taichi's voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Blooper 02**  
>  After a moment, Taichi pulls away, looking at him, his eyes already heavy with lust, and Yamato _wants_ to feel that, wants to be enjoying this as much as he usually does, but he's so goddamned tired, FUCK YOU MARS.
> 
> It's only when Taichi looks at him in confusion, snapping, "What the hell does Mars have to do with anything?" that he realises he's said that last bit out loud.
> 
> "Err..." he pauses, scratching sheepishly at his head, wondering how to explain this without sounding like he's crazy. After a moment he realises there _is_ no good way, and sighs. "It's from the movie _The Martian_ ," he tells Taichi. "Matt Damon gets stranded on Mars and has to survive alone..."
> 
> He trails off, because Taichi is staring at him blankly. After a moment Taichi simply slides off his lap and walks out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. The noise wakes Naoki, and he groans.
> 
> Ten minutes later, after he's gotten Naoki settled back into his nap, his phone chimes with a new text. Flipping it open, he looks down at the message to read it, chuckling ruefully after a moment.
> 
> _Get some sleep, you owe me a blowjob. Asshat._


	6. Taste of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there hasn't been an update in a few weeks. I managed to get this one out, but there's a good chance the next one won't be for another few weeks as well. My laptop has been on its last legs, constantly freezing and crashing, and lately I haven't even tried to use the poor thing. When my school loan money comes in mid-January, I'll be buying the parts to build my own desktop, and then I'll be able to get back to writing and updating. Apologies for the delay in the meantime.

The second term of the year does not get off to a good start. Yamato's thankfully not late to his first class this time, but the whole first week he's got fans harassing him for autographs, female and male alike, and he can tell it's annoying his professors some, even though most people confine their asking to before and after classes. When their new album is released Friday, it only gets worse, until he's tempted to just tape a sign to his shirt—front _and_ back—that says "no autographs."

Then to top it off, Taichi seems to get jealous—of what, Yamato's not entirely sure, because he has nothing to be jealous of. Still, that doesn't stop Taichi from acting like a bit of a jerk about it all, slamming things around and pouting and talking to Yamato with a sullen look on his face. Yamato wishes they were younger so he could still slap some sense into his boyfriend, but they've long since moved on from physically fighting out their differences. So instead he just does his best to hide his hurt at Taichi's behaviour and hopes he cools off over the weekend. 

On Saturday he finds himself wishing he could sleep the day away, but unfortunately he's got plans, so he drags himself out of bed to get himself and Naoki ready. He takes longer than usual, moving slowly, and winds up being late. However, when he gets to the park, he's surprised to see only a handful of the Chosen—Sora, Koushiro, Takeru, Hikari, and Daisuke. He hadn't expected Taichi, for obvious reasons, but he wonders at the absence of the others. 

"Where's everybody at?" he asks when he approaches them. 

Daisuke shrugs. "Couldn't make it, I guess." 

"Taichi refused to come," Hikari says, giving him an anxious look. She's clearly picked up that something's wrong between them, but likely Taichi hasn't elaborated on what. 

Yamato just waves it away, pretending unconcern. "He'll be fine," he says, not really wanting to explain either. 

The look she gives him to that suggests she doesn't believe him at all, and Yamato wonders just exactly what Taichi said in his refusal to come. 

"The park seems so empty without all of us here," Sora remarks, looking around at the few of them there, and Yamato has to agree with her. 

"Hey, you guys wanna go to Leisureland?" he asks suddenly. "There's just enough of us for it to be fun, and not so many that we'd be crowded. And I know Naoki would enjoy it more than just running around the park for the hundredth time." 

Daisuke grins, pumping an excited fist in the air. "I'm game!" he crows. "Let's go!" 

Koushiro shrugs. "I wouldn't be opposed to it." 

Sora gives everyone a wicked smile, and raises her right hand, miming batting at a ball with an imaginary racket. "As long as we get to play table tennis." 

Takeru groans. "What's the point when you'll kick all our butts?" 

"I guess it's settled then," Hikari says, smiling. "Come on, it's not too far from here. Let's go." 

They set off at a steady pace, Yamato carrying Naoki so they aren't slowed down by his short little legs. It doesn't take them long at all to reach it, but Yamato still sets his son down with relief. "You're going to have to start using a stroller soon, baby," he says. "Daddy can't keep carrying you everywhere, you're getting too big." 

"He still won't do one?" Takeru asks. 

"I'm afraid to try," Yamato admits. "He has so many tantrums already and I just don't have the energy to deal with them all." 

Takeru just nods, not saying anything to that, and Yamato sighs inwardly, knowing his brother's still worried about him and the way he behaved at their lunch a couple of weeks ago. But as long as Takeru isn't going to say anything about it, neither will he. 

They all meander casually around the building after that, stopping at whatever games catch their fancy. Not everyone plays every game, and those who choose to sit out take fun in choosing sides and making it a friendly competition, cheering their side on. They make sure to include some kid's games that are easy for Naoki to participate in, so that he doesn't get bored and start fussing. Sora also does indeed soundly trounce them at table tennis a few times, although it turns out to be a surprisingly close match with Takeru. 

"You've secretly been practising, haven't you," she accuses him, and Takeru merely smirks, not denying it. She tosses her head back, flipping her hair around smartly. "Practice some more and I'll give you a rematch next weekend," she offers, and he grins. 

"You're on," he says. 

They spend a couple of hours there, just playing games and having fun. Yamato starts off by missing Taichi and wishing he were there, acutely aware of his absence at first; however, as time goes on he notices it less, until he realises he hasn't thought about Taichi at all in the last half hour or so, and he's surprised to also realise he's actually having a lot of fun. He'd expected to wind up moping and dragging everybody down until someone called him out on it, like it usually goes when he's upset. 

"I'm starving!" Daisuke finally declares at one point. "Are we going to eat or what?" 

"You're always starving," Takeru points out, teasing him. "I'm pretty sure your stomach is bottomless." 

"Like you're one to talk," Yamato tells his brother, poking him in the side. 

Takeru squirms away from him, batting at his brother's hands. "Daisuke's like two of me, though," he says. 

"We could go somewhere," Koushiro says, ignoring the banter as he points out the obvious. 

"Yes!" Daisuke exclaims. "Please! As long as it's food!" 

The others laugh, and after some friendly squabbling they finally settle on a place. Yamato follows along behind the others, keeping a tight hold on Naoki. He's glad to be having fun, but he does still miss Taichi some, and really hopes that by Monday Taichi will have cooled off, and will maybe apologise. 

* * *

Taichi's already gone by the time Yamato gets to the Yagami apartment on Monday to drop Naoki off with Yuuko. At first he worries he's running late, but when he checks he sees he's at his usual time, meaning Taichi's gone on ahead deliberately, likely wanting to avoid him. It upsets him, but he doesn't want Naoki seeing him unhappy before he leaves, because then he'll get upset and start crying, so he keeps a smile on his face as he hugs his son and tells Yuuko he'll be back this afternoon as usual. 

He's grumpy in his fundamentals of music class, enough so that Ratsuii remarks on it, but he brushes it aside with a terse "relationship troubles," and Ratz knows to leave it alone for now. He knows that if Yamato wants to talk, he will. 

He's hoping that maybe Taichi will have cooled off by the time they have their literature class together, but unfortunately he'll never get to find out, for just outside the classroom he gets accosted—by a girl who can't seem to take no for an answer. 

"Hey," she says, stepping in front of him so he can't enter the classroom. 

"Hello," he returns politely, already having an idea what she wants. He really should just put out a press release saying he's taken and be done with it. 

"Yamato, right?" she says, giving him an easy smile. "I'm Kiyoko. You were in my literature class last term too, with Dr. Kanada." 

"Oh," he says stupidly, distractedly, as he notices Taichi coming up the hallway and halting upon spotting him. He frowns—even if Taichi's being a jerk, he could at least come over and rescue him. He's happy enough to sign autographs for fans, but anything else just makes him uncomfortable, and Taichi _knows_ that. 

"I thought the way Dr. Kanada treated you last term was _horrible_ ," she says, putting extra emphasis on the last word, her voice just oozing false sympathy, and he tries not to squirm. "He was really unfair," she continues, throwing a pout on her face that any other guy would probably find cute. "But I think he was wrong about you, you seem like a really great guy," she finishes up, smiling at him and batting her eyelashes coyly. Why does he always attract the bold, flirty girls? 

"Um, thanks," he says, feeling awkward. Taichi's still standing there—and he's frowning now, arms crossed over his chest unhappily—and surely Taichi doesn't think he's enjoying this, does he? He doesn't understand where all this sudden jealousy is coming from—plenty of girls have shown interest in him, and yet he chose _Taichi_. Shouldn't that be enough? What does he have to be jealous of? 

"So, I was thinking, would you maybe like to get a coffee some time?" 

"Uh, no, I don't think so," he says. He hates it, hates every time having to turn down girls, but he's learned over the past year or two that it's better to just be blunt than to dance around it and confuse them, or make them think they might actually have a chance, or that _he's_ being coy. 

This girl, though—Koko, or whatever her name was—doesn't seem to get it. "Don't like coffee?" she says playfully, swatting a hand at his arm. "That's okay. What would you like?" 

"Nothing," he tells her, hoping she gets it this time. 

"Well, that won't work, silly!" Either she's really that dense, or she's being deliberately obtuse. He's honestly not sure which. And he loathes being called 'silly.' "Well, if you don't want to pick, how about lunch? Maybe after class?" 

"I have another class," he says automatically, and then wants to kick himself, for that makes it sound like he _is_ interested in her, which he's not. He's glad Taichi's not close enough to hear that gaffe, at least he really hopes not. "And besides, I'm not interested," he adds. 

"In lunch?" she asks, and surely she can't really be that dumb, she has to be just playing at it— 

"In you," he clarifies, and knows the moment she finally gets it, watching blankly as her face screws up in disappointment. Yamato really hopes she doesn't make a scene. "Sorry," he says, though he's really not very sorry at all. 

She doesn't respond, just runs off, and he takes the opportunity to finally duck inside the classroom, glad most of the other students had already arrived and weren't stuck waiting on them, listening to that humiliatingly awkward conversation. Taichi comes in a few moments later, reluctantly sliding into the seat next to him, though his body language makes it clear he'd rather be anywhere else. More than feeling hurt, it's starting to piss Yamato off. He's been dealing with enough stress already, he doesn't need this from his boyfriend on top of everything else. Not from the one person who's supposed to support him and help _reduce_ his stress. 

Taichi ignores him all through class, and it's so uncomfortable that Yamato's actually glad to get away from him when the class ends. But it still hurts when he walks out of his last class of the day—one that they don't share—and doesn't see Taichi waiting for him, leaning against the wall with a smile like usual. 

He purposely waits around for a bit and takes a later subway, so that when he gets to the Yagami apartment, Taichi's already home—he spots Taichi's shoes by the front door. He tells Yuuko to wait a moment with Naoki, and asks if he can go speak to Taichi. 

"Of course," she tells him, smiling warmly at him, though he can sense the hint of uncertainty in her eyes. She knows something's off between them then, even if she's not sure what. 

He thanks her and heads down the hall to Taichi's room, not knocking on the closed door—he doesn't want to be told to leave. Instead, he just opens it and steps in, causing Taichi to sit up fast and bang his head on the too-small bunk bed he still uses, despite the fact that he and Hikari haven't shared a room in years. Why he doesn't get at least a single bed has always been a mystery to Yamato. 

"What do you want?" Taichi says sullenly, rubbing at his head and turning away. 

Yamato sighs. He hasn't even started and already he's dreading this conversation. The thought of confronting Taichi over his behaviour is putting knots in his stomach. "Can we talk?" 

"About what?" Taichi asks nastily. "About your latest girlfriend?" 

Yamato just stares at him, uncertain what's gotten Taichi so twisted up. "What's gotten in to you?" he asks. "Why are you so worked up over this?" 

"Funny how you're not denying it," Taichi points out, looking back at Yamato to level a dark glare at him. 

Yamato stares some more, struck momentarily speechless. "I didn't think I had to," he says, incredulous. Taichi can't seriously think he was interested in that girl, or _any_ girl. He's still not entirely certain he's gay—he's never had a crush on anyone else, Megumi included—but he's only had eyes for Taichi since he was fifteen, and he's always thought Taichi _knew_ that. 

"Well maybe you do!" Taichi yells, and the venom in his voice catches Yamato off-guard. 

"Of course she's not my girlfriend! What is wrong with you, Taichi?" 

"Are you sure?" Taichi shoots back, anger lacing through the venom in his tone. "Or maybe it's one of the other hundreds of girls that keep approaching you? It seems like every time I see you lately there's always some girl hanging off of you!" 

"You just said it yourself, they approach me! Most of them just want autographs! That's part of what being in a band entails!" He can't believe he's having to explain this to Taichi. 

Taichi scoffs, and that does it. He doesn't stick around to argue the point with his boyfriend any longer—he hasn't done anything wrong, and he doesn't deserve Taichi's jealously and anger. "Call me when you've grown up some," he hisses before whirling around and storming out of the room. Yuuko looks startled when he stomps back in the living room, and he does his best to take a few deep breaths and calm down, knowing he needs to keep it together for Naoki. 

"Thank you for watching him," he tells her at the door, sliding his shoes back on and slinging the diaper bag over his shoulder. 

"Of course," she says, but her eyes are troubled. He wonders if she heard them yelling. "Same time tomorrow?" she asks him, and he nods. 

Somehow, he manages to keep it all in until he's put Naoki to bed for the night. It's only once he's in the kitchen, washing the few dishes from dinner, that he finally falls apart. At first it's just a few tears sliding down his face, and then he's sobbing, abandoning the half-washed wok to sink to the floor, huddled up in a miserable ball. He doesn't understand why Taichi's doing this, why he's acting this way. He wonders briefly if it's just some weird delayed jealously over Yamato's one-night stand with Megumi, but Taichi's never once before expressed any negative thoughts about that. 

He buries his face in his knees, doing his best to muffle his sobs so he doesn't wake his son. He doesn't know if what he'd said earlier could be considered as breaking up with Taichi. Fear grips his heart, panic thrumming through him at the thought. He doesn't _want_ to break up with Taichi—but he also doesn't want a boyfriend who's constantly going to be jealous and question every interaction he has with a girl—and why is it only the girls that make Taichi jealous? 

He suddenly misses Gabumon, and finds himself yearning fiercely for his partner's presence. Gabumon always seemed to know the right thing to say when he and Taichi fought in the Digital World. And even if he didn't, even if Yamato was in the wrong, his willingness to just stay by Yamato's side was always a great comfort. He desperately wants that now, wants to throw his arms around Gabumon and bury his face into the digimon's fur and just cling on until he gains some equilibrium again. Fumbling in his pocket, he pulls out his Digivice—he always keeps it on him still, never knowing when something new might arise. Lifting his face, he stares at it, wishing desperately that he could just go to the Digital World. For a moment, he even starts to reach for his cell, thinking to call Koushiro and arrange it. 

He's knows it not that simple anymore though. He has Naoki now—he can't just get up and go whenever he wants. And he doesn't regret Naoki, not in the least—but sometimes he misses that loss of freedom. 

Eventually, his sobs lessen as he gradually calms down. He doesn't feel any better about the situation, but he's too drained to keep crying. After a bit he wipes at his face and drags himself back up to the sink, plunging his hands into the now-cold soapy water to finish cleaning the wok. Once the kitchen's clean he goes to his room, where he sits at his desk and does his homework automatically, not putting much thought or effort into it. 

It takes him a long time to fall asleep that night. 

* * *

The rest of the week is hell. The requests for autographs start dying down, thankfully, but he's aware of Taichi glaring darkly at every one he does still get. His heart aches, but he does his best not to show it, smiling and laughing with Sora and Ratsuii in his other classes, and always keeping a cheerful smile on his face for Yuuko when he goes to pick up Naoki, and never once letting on to his son that anything's wrong. 

Inside, though, he's stressed to the max. He's barely sleeping, taking forever to fall asleep and then tossing and turning fitfully once he does, waking every morning to gritty eyes and a lump in his throat. He has no appetite, and often forgets to or just chooses not to eat, though he always make sure Naoki still gets breakfast and dinner. He has a hard time focusing in class, always aware of Taichi's every movement next to him, and the homework he turns in for some of his classes is awful, because he so often zones out during it. 

Sora frets over both him and Taichi. He wishes she didn't know, but there's no way to hide it—she's once again taking history with them this term, and they all sit together. Initially, Yamato had been in the middle, with Sora to his right, but she'd thankfully changed seats with him with little fuss, acting as a buffer for them, not that Taichi's deigned to say anything to him still. She's asked him a few times what's going on, knowing it's more than just a usual fight, that it's something serious, but he can't bring himself to explain. He's still not entirely sure, anyway. He doesn't know what's fuelling Taichi's jealousy and he has no idea what their relationship status is. Trying to imagine explaining it to Sora just leaves him choked up. After a few failed attempts to get anything out of him—and likely Taichi, too—she leaves it alone, though her worry with every class they have is nearly palpable. 

Saturday should be a relief, not having to take Naoki to Yuuko's and see the worry in her eyes when she tells him Taichi's gone ahead, or sit silently next to Taichi while he's ignored, but somehow it's not. He's slept poorly again, bad dreams he can't quite remember disrupting his sleep, leaving him with nothing but a unsettling sense of disquiet when he finally wakes. He goes to get Naoki out of his crib and goes through the motions of their usual routine, dressing him and making breakfast for him, and then settles him in front of the television to watch his favourite weekend cartoon. 

An hour later, he realises he can't stand being in the apartment a second longer. Even though Naoki's bouncing around, singing the theme song to his now ended show in partial gibberish, the apartment feels too quiet and empty. 

"Naoki, wanna go visit grandpa together?" he calls out, making a sudden decision. 

"Yeah!" Naoki cries excitedly, jumping up and down in glee. Despite his mood, it makes Yamato smile, and when Naoki runs up to him, throwing his arms around him in a hug, he reaches out to tousle his son's hair affectionately, privately glad Naoki inherited his blond locks instead of Megumi's black ones. He doesn't want any reminders of her in Naoki. 

He gets them ready then, moving quickly, just wanting out of there for the day. He does fine until he's in Odaiba, walking past Taichi's building to get to his dad's next door, and then he actually has to stop a moment and take a deep breath, lest he bursts into tears. He wants so badly to just go up there and have Taichi apologise and everything be okay again, to kiss him deeply and then demand another date with a grin. 

"Why 'top?" Naoki asks, looking up at him, and Yamato takes another breath before shaking his head and smiling down at his son. 

"Sorry, baby," he says. "Let's go." 

His dad's surprised but pleased to see them when he opens the door to Yamato's knock. 

"Hey Dad," Yamato says, flashing him a somewhat trembling smile. "Sorry to not call in advance. Mind if we visit for awhile?" 

"Of course," his dad says, blinking and holding the door open wider for them to come in. "You're always welcome, you know that." 

He steps in, slipping off his shoes and helping Naoki remove his, and then grabs the spare playpen his dad keeps in his old room and sets it up in the living room, though he doesn't put Naoki in it just yet. 

"Would either of you like something to eat or drink?" his dad offers. 

Yamato shakes his head. "I'm fine, and I'm sure Naoki is too, he just had breakfast a couple of hours ago." 

He takes a seat on the sofa, and watches curiously as his dad goes over to a plastic storage bin and pulls out several colourful sheets of square paper before he settles into his beloved recliner, Naoki climbing up happily into his lap for a hug. 

"What's that for?" he asks, curling up into the cushions, putting his legs up and tucking his feet underneath him. It's comforting, somehow, to keep his body in such positions. 

His dad simply smiles. "Watch," he says, and then begins folding. Yamato gets it nearly immediately, but he watches with fascination anyway as his dad folds one of the red squares into a crane and then hands it to Naoki, who'd also been watching, enraptured. He takes the little crane with awe, studying it closely, trying to figure out just how his grandpa could do such an amazing thing. 

"Origami?" Yamato asks him in amusement, though he's glad to see Naoki so happy with something so simple. 

His dad just shrugs at him. "You used to love watching me fold it," he says. "I thought Naoki might too." 

He watches as his dad folds some more shapes for Naoki, making the toddler laugh in delight as he's presented with them. Then he shows Naoki how to fold the crane, his movements slow and deliberate, even letting him help a little bit. It soothes Yamato's hurt a bit to watch them, glad that Naoki can have grandparents in his life that love and care for him. 

Eventually Naoki tires of the origami, and decides he wants to colour, going over to the plastic bin and pulling some crayons out. Yamato's dad sets him up in the playpen, and then settles in his recliner again, glancing over to his forlorn-looking son. He knows there's something bothering Yamato, for Yamato would normally never just show up unannounced. "Wanna talk about it?" he asks mildly, but they both know he's worried. 

Yamato sighs, and suddenly feels close to tears again. He turns his head away, swallowing and shutting his eyes hard, not wanting to cry in front of his dad. He's also not sure he wants to tell his dad, he's still not sure of what's happening, but if it hadn't been for his dad's encouragement, he and Taichi might have never wound up together, so he feels like if anyone deserves to know what's going on, it's his dad. 

He faces his dad again, and takes a shaky breath. "Taichi and I might have broken up," he says, and is proud of the fact that his voice remains mostly steady. 

His dad frowns. "Might have?" 

"Well, I'm not really sure..." He sighs out another shaky breath. "He won't talk to me, and I said some things, but I don't deserve this!" 

"Maybe start from the beginning?" his dad suggests gently. 

He nods, scrubbing a hand over his face. "He's... jealous, I guess. When girls ask me for autographs, or dates. I think there's been small incidents over the past few months, but I didn't realise at the time. He got mad at me last Friday. I thought he'd get over it during the weekend, but..." he trails off, still feeling bewildered at how fast and how much this whole thing has blown up. He's thought about it the past few days, and there really _have_ been little incidences of Taichi's jealously over the past few months, generally over the girls wanting autographs, but he'd completely missed them. The first time he'd even noticed was that time on the phone, and he hadn't actually understood what was going on. 

"But?" his dad prompts when he doesn't continue. His tone is still gentle, seeming to sense just how _not_ stable Yamato is right now. 

"He saw some girl persist in asking me out before class on Monday, I had to turn her down three times before she actually got it, and when I went to his apartment to pick up Naoki we argued. He said—" he stops, still feeling pained when he thinks about how cruel Taichi had been to him. Even if they don't break up, they'll have some serious talking to do. "Well, he said some pretty mean things," he finally says. "And I told him that he should call me when he grows up some, and then I took Naoki and left." 

"And he hasn't spoken to you since?" his dad asks, frowning. 

Yamato shakes his head, but before he can speak Naoki's standing, calling "Daddy!" in a happy voice. Yamato looks over at him, and sees he's holding up his colouring book, showing off one of the pages he's scribbled all over. He tries for a smile. "That's very nice, Naoki," he says, attempting to put some warmth into his tone. "Good job, I'm proud of you." 

Naoki grins and sits down again, flipping to a new page. Yamato looks back to his dad. "He's been ignoring me. I don't know what to think of the situation." 

His dad sighs, looking pained for him. "It may just be something he needs to work out on his own. There's not much you can do right now if he's not willing to talk to you, unless _you_ want to break up, and then you can let him know in no uncertain terms." 

"I don't though," Yamato says, once more on the verge of crying, panic once again threading through his body as he tries to imagine being broken up with Taichi. "I don't know why he's acting this way, I don't want anyone else, haven't since I was fifteen... He knows I don't like all that attention from girls... I just want him to be Taichi again." He halts again, a little embarrassed at admitting it all to his dad, even if he hasn't said that much. 

"I'm sorry, Yamato," his dad says. "I know it hurts. I wish there was some advice I could give you to fix it." 

He just shrugs, closing his eyes again, struggling to regain control, not wanting to lose it, not now, not here. 

"Daddy!" Naoki calls again then, and hearing his son's voice reminds him it's not only his dad he has to worry about, that he needs to be strong for Naoki as well—it's enough for him to keep it together, and after a moment he opens his eyes again, puts a smile on his face, and goes to deal with his son. 

* * *

Monday's a holiday, and there's no classes. He spends the day with Naoki at home, trying to keep his mind off of Taichi by staying busy. It mostly works, especially when he finally manages to get Naoki to use the toilet all by himself for the first time. He'll be glad when he can finally do away with all the diapers and training pants. 

Tuesday's a different story altogether. He only manages maybe an hour of sleep, which means he's probably gotten eight hours combined for the whole weekend. He doesn't bother with breakfast, because he feels too sick to eat. He's decided he can't take this anymore, so even though it terrifies him, he's going to confront Taichi after classes today, no matter what, and they're either going to talk it out or break up. The thought kills him—he absolutely doesn't want to break up with Taichi, but he doesn't know what Taichi's problem is, and he can't take all this stress anymore. 

Yuuko greets him with a strained smile when he gets to the Yagami apartment that morning. 

"Taichi's already gone?" he asks, even though he knows the answer. 

"Yes, he left a little while ago," she says with a sigh. 

"We'll work it out," he reassures her, even though he's not sure at all. Still, it only hardens his resolve to end this once and for all this afternoon. 

Unfortunately, on Tuesdays he has both of his classes with Taichi, so he has to put up with being ignored as usual, but thankfully Sora's there to talk to him in history. It helps, a little, though her concern wears at him some, especially when she has to nudge him awake a few times and gives him a worried glance every time she does. He can't help it though—he's gotten so little sleep the past week, stacked on top of all the sleep he missed over the summer, and he's really not feeling well now—he just wants to go home and crawl in bed and not get back up for a month. He's not sure how he's going to make it through the confrontation with Taichi. 

When he gets up out of his chair to leave at the end of class, he actually sways a little, stumbling as he tries to take a step. Sora's at his side in an instant, grabbing on to his elbow to steady him, and he's thankful—but all he can think is how it should be Taichi catching him, Taichi worrying about him. Instead Taichi's leaving, not even giving a backwards glance. It hurts so much, and he almost cries then and there. 

"Are you okay?" Sora asks him softly, chewing a bit on her lower lip in worry. 

He nods, picking up his bag and attempting a smile for her. "Fine," he lies. 

She doesn't look happy with the response, but she doesn't press him to talk about it, which is what he wants right now. "See you Thursday?" she asks, and he nods. 

He spends his free period between classes sitting in the university center, not eating and thinking about how he and Taichi would normally be spending this time together. He almost doesn't notice the time when it gets close to his next class. 

Taichi's already beat him to their biology class, talking to one of their classmates at the table behind theirs. He considers just taking a different seat, but wants Taichi to be just as uncomfortable as he is, so he slides into his usual spot, and lays his head down, wanting nothing more than to collapse. He feels weak, and his body's trembling ever so slightly. The sick feeling in the pit of his stomach has only worsened, and he has a hard time keeping his eyes open. He's not sure how he makes it through class—he can't focus enough to take any notes, and he's pretty sure he falls asleep a couple of times, though he always snaps awake a few minutes later, even without Sora to nudge him. 

It's the professor saying, "Be sure to read the next chapter of your textbook for Thursday!" that makes Yamato realise class is finally over. He stands to leave, not needing to pack his bag as he never remembered to unpack it. He's only taken one step when suddenly his vision goes dark around the edges, black spots dancing in front of his eyes. He blinks, and tries to take another step, but he's swaying again, badly, and the spots get worse, obscuring his sight, and the sounds of the other students in the room suddenly become muted. It takes him a moment to realise that the strange sensation he feels with the next step is him falling, and he has only a second to wonder if that's Taichi's voice he hears calling his name before everything fades away. 

* * *

When he wakes, there's an IV in his hand. He stares at it blankly for a moment, wondering why he's in a hospital, and then the memory of passing out at the end of class comes rushing back, and he realises someone must have called an ambulance. He feels tired still, and weak, but his vision's back to normal and he no longer feels sick to his stomach. He can't believe he passed out, and wonders with a bit of a blush how many of his classmates were still around to see, and who called the ambulance for him. 

"Yamato?" his dad's voice says, and he looks up to see his parents and brother gathered near the bed he's in, all with deeply worried expressions on their faces. It shocks him even more to see Taichi behind them a little ways, an equally worried look on his face—though in addition, there's guilt and shame, and he's a little surprised his dad didn't throw Taichi out. 

"Naoki?" he asks a bit hoarsely, not seeing him in the room anywhere. 

"Naoki's fine, honey," his mom reassures him, reaching out to brush a few stray strands of hair out of his eyes. He suspects the action is meant more to calm herself, than to comfort him. "He's still at the Yagamis, Yuuko is more than willing to watch him as long as needed." 

He nods, and then closes his eyes again, needing some more rest. His son's fine, that's all he needs to know for now. The rest of his questions can wait. 

An hour later, a doctor's waking him, introducing himself as Dr. Kimura before checking him over and asking a few questions, which he does his best to answer honestly, even though it makes his family look even more worried. 

"Do you live alone?" 

"Uh, no. With my son." 

"How old is he?" 

"Two," Yamato answers, wondering why it matters. He's equally confused by the next few questions, asking if he has help taking care of his son, or if he does it all alone, does he ever get overwhelmed by it, does he ever get time to himself, what other things does he have going on his life... It's only with that question does Yamato realise the doctor's trying to gauge his stress levels. 

"How much sleep did you get last night?" Dr. Kimura eventually asks him. He's short, and a bit overweight, with pale skin and light brown hair, but his brown eyes are warm and his smile friendly, so Yamato doesn't feel like he'll be judged with his answers, even though he can admit to himself he's been a bit of an idiot with taking care of himself to wind up in the hospital. 

Yamato sighs, and fiddles with the admittance bracelet around his wrist. "Maybe about an hour." 

"Hmm, and the day before that?" 

"Three." 

Takeru's making little distressed noises every time Yamato answers, but he ignores him, just focusing on the doctor. 

"Last time you ate?" 

Yamato pauses, trying to remember. He's still exhausted, and it's hard to think. His brain's moving slowly. "Saturday afternoon?" Because he'd eaten some at his dad's for lunch, not wanting to worry him. 

The distressed noise comes from his dad this time, and he feels the need to try and offer some sort of explanation. "It wasn't on purpose, I just wasn't very hungry, and I kept forgetting, or just didn't feel well enough to eat..." 

Dr. Kimura smiles at him, no judgement in his face. "That's understandable." He asks a few more questions after that, and Yamato's answers are no more encouraging—hearing it all together like this, he's surprised he didn't pass out days ago. 

Finally Dr. Kimura steps back and says, "You'll be fine. It was likely just a combination of stress and sleep deprivation, along with a bit of dehydration, that caused you to pass out. Just take it easy for the next few days, and be sure to get plenty of sleep, and remember to eat and drink lots of fluids." He looks briefly to Yamato's family, and then back at Yamato. "Perhaps one of you could stay with him, help him remember to eat, maybe help out around the house, get his stress levels back down some. It's just a suggestion, however." 

Hiroaki nods at him. "We'll get something sorted out. Thank you, Dr. Kimura." 

"Is he okay to go home?" Natsuko asks. 

Dr. Kimura smiles. "Yes, he should be able to go home soon. I'll get a nurse in to remove his IV and start the discharge process." 

Some time after the doctor's left, Taichi hesitantly asks if he can speak to Yamato alone. Yamato's been lying back in the bed, drifting in and out, but his eyes snap open upon hearing Taichi speak. 

His dad looks to him, the only one who has an idea of what's going on, and silently raises an eyebrow, asking if Yamato's okay with it. Yamato's not sure, but he nods anyway, sick of this whole mess dragging over them. This isn't exactly how he'd intended for it to be when he'd planned to talk to Taichi this afternoon, but he's not going to let being in the hospital put him off. 

Once they're alone, he remains silently on the bed, not about to be the one to speak first. He watches as Taichi goes over to the window, looking out and sighing, briefly scrubbing a hand over his face as he turns back to Yamato. He turns back, and grabs a chair, scooting it closer to the bed before sitting in it and facing him. Still Yamato waits, merely looking at him, not saying a word. 

Finally Taichi lets out a long, deep sigh. "I know it's probably not enough, but I'm sorry," he says, remorse heavy in his voice. Yamato stays quiet, so after a moment's uncertainty, Taichi continues. "I was really scared when you passed out. Seeing you sway, and then suddenly crumple to the floor..." His voice wavers. "Well, I rode with you in the ambulance. I kind of realised during the ride just how much of a jerk I've been." 

"Why?" The question's softly-spoken, and full of pain, and causes Taichi to look even more ashamed. 

"I don't know exactly," he admits, looking down at his lap. He scratches at an itch on his arm nervously. "It's just... you've always got all these girls asking you out, and I know our relationship isn't a _complete_ secret, but that you can't just tell people you're taken because of the band... it gets to me!" he says aggressively, punctuating his words with a punch to his leg. "We barely got to see each other all summer, and I can't be mad at you because it's the band, and your future and Naoki's future, but that doesn't mean it's not hard to deal with! And then we get back to school and all these girls and even some guys are just swarming around you, fawning all over you..." He trails off, the anger gone as suddenly as it had come on. He slumps down in his seat, looking back at Yamato again. "I was being an asshole," he says bluntly, "and you didn't deserve any of the way I treated you this past week or so. I'm so sorry." 

"When we were fifteen," Yamato starts, and then pauses. He tries again. "There wasn't some magical moment," he says, and Taichi cocks his head a little, confused. "I mean, I didn't have this moment like in the movies. I didn't look at you after you'd said something great or profound and realise that I'd fallen for you." 

"Okay..." Taichi says slowly, clearly wondering where he's going with this, and what it has to do with his behaviour of late. 

"There was still a sort of realisation, though," Yamato says, and his voice is shaking a little. "I'd never had a crush before, but then I slowly realised that I was turning down the girls that dared to ask me out, girls that I _should_ have wanted to go out with according to our classmates, and then I missed you when we weren't spending time together, and that—" he stops again, feeling too embarrassed at what he's admitting to keep going, and embarrassed that his voice is starting to crack. He takes a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is, ever since we were fifteen, it's only been you." 

Taichi swallows, hard. "Yamato—" 

He shakes his head, not done speaking. "I'm happy when I'm with you," he admits, voice breaking on the last two words. "But this past week—I honestly didn't know if we were breaking up. I had no idea what was going on with you. You have no idea how much it hurt me to hear you accuse me of being with that girl, or _any_ girl." He closes his eyes and takes another deep breath, forcing himself to say the next words. "If we're going to stay together, if we're going to make this work... I need to be able to trust you, and I need you to be able to talk to me—like an adult—when something's bothering you. Not shut me out and ignore me and treat me horribly." 

"I'm sorry," Taichi repeats, and it's his turn for his voice to crack. "I don't know _why_ I acted so awful to you, I didn't even feel like myself, when I saw you collapse it was like something sort of woke me up and made me aware of just what I was doing to you. I know how stressed you've been all last term and then over the whole summer, and I should have been supporting you, and instead I've just added to it, so much that I made you pass out... I want to be with you still, I definitely want to make this work." 

"Then just trust me," Yamato tells him softly. "Trust that I only want to be with you. Tell me when things are getting to you." 

Taichi merely nods to that, not trusting himself to speak anymore. They're both quiet for a bit, and then Yamato sighs. They're not completely okay yet, but they'll get there. He doesn't feel that their relationship is on the verge of destruction now. The panic's ebbing, at last. "Get over here and kiss me, you jerk, and then tell my family to come back in." 

To that, Taichi gives a tentative smile, and then does as ordered. 

* * *

"Your kid sure has a set of lungs on him," Taichi says as he collapses on the sofa next to Yamato with an exhausted sigh. 

Yamato opens his eyes and glances to his boyfriend, smiling wryly. "I did try to warn you. Changed your mind about staying yet?" 

Taichi straightens up some and looks at him, a determined glint in his eye. "No. I told you, I owe you at least this much." 

Yamato nods, and lets his eyes slip shut again. He's actually glad Taichi's staying here the week with him. He still isn't sure who had been more surprised this afternoon when Taichi had offered, him or his parents. 

They'd been arguing about what to do as Yamato had been signing the discharge papers, Takeru watching them from a nearby chair resignedly, when Taichi had spoken up hesitantly, going so far as to step in between them with a sheepish smile on his face. 

"I was thinking," he'd said, scratching uncertainly at his hair, "if it will settle your minds—and if Yamato doesn't mind," he'd added, looking at his boyfriend still half-asleep in the hospital bed, "I could stay at Yamato's apartment for the week, to help him out with Naoki and make sure he takes better care of himself..." 

Yamato had been completely caught off-guard by the offer—he supposed he was still a bit wary, expecting the Taichi of last week to keep showing up. He hadn't said anything right away, and after a moment his parents had looked at each other, then Natsuko had said, "Well, I think that would be okay, if it's okay with you, honey," as she'd turned towards Yamato expectantly. 

"Naoki's a lot of work," his dad had warned Taichi sternly, before Yamato could answer. "It won't be all fun and games like it used to be, when you two were teenagers and you stayed round sometimes, Taichi." 

"I know, sir," Taichi had answered respectfully. "But I haven't been there for him like I should, and I want to make it up to him." 

After a hesitation, Yamato had agreed to it, knowing he really could use the help, and also knowing his parents wouldn't be able to offer help like that. But now, well... he's realising that it's sort of a big step in their relationship. It's one thing to have Taichi come over for the day, it's another thing entirely to have him here for the week, acting as a sort of pseudo-parent to Naoki. He's not sure how things are going to play out, and he can only hope it won't go badly. 

"What are you thinking about?" Taichi asks him softly, breaking into the silence of the room. 

Yamato cracks open one eye and looks at him. "About how this week is going to go," he answers honestly. "About how Naoki will take to you playing second dad." 

Taichi blinks. "You think he'll see me that way?" 

Yamato shrugs and closes his eye, leaning over to snuggle up into Taichi's side. He's missed him dearly, and the fear about breaking up hasn't completely abated, despite that Taichi's here now, seeking forgiveness and tripping over himself to do anything he can for Yamato. "It's a possibility," he finally mumbles once he's gotten comfortable. 

Taichi wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him in close, holding him tight. "We'll just have to see how things go, I guess," he says. 

"Mmm," Yamato agrees sleepily. He knows he shouldn't fall asleep like this, that he should just get up and go to bed, but he's so comfortable, and surely a little nap won't hurt... 

"I'll wake you in a bit," Taichi whispers softly, pressing a gentle kiss to his head, and then Yamato's asleep. 

* * *

The next morning when he tries to get up to take care of Naoki, Taichi refuses to let him. "I've got him," he says. "I can get him dressed and fed and taken to my mom's. You sleep in. I'll see you in class, okay?" 

He tries to protest—when Taichi offered to help, he didn't think Taichi had meant _everything_ —but Taichi puts a finger to his lips, shushing him. "It's fine," he says. "I want to help." 

He has to admit, when he wakes up an hour later, feeling more rested than he has in months and not having to worry about Naoki for a change, it's rather nice, and he could certainly get used to having Taichi here. 

He takes his time getting ready, and smiles when he walks into the kitchen and finds a post-it note on the fridge, filled with Taichi's scrawl: 

_Don't forget to eat something!! Doctor's orders, so no excuses, or I'll get Agumon to sing to you! - Taichi_

_This_ is his Taichi. He's glad to have him back. 

* * *

"Who called 119 for me?" Yamato asks abruptly that night when they're eating dinner. Thankfully he'd managed to convince Taichi that he wasn't so helpless as to not be able to cook, because he really didn't trust Taichi to do anything in the kitchen beyond using the microwave. 

"Professor Matsuda," Taichi answers him, blinking. "He had his cell out and was dialling for the ambulance almost as soon as you were going down." 

"Did... Were there a lot of our classmates left in the room?" 

"Well..." Taichi says reluctantly, drawing the word out, and Yamato groans, covering his face in embarrassment. "You went down right when class ended," Taichi tells him apologetically. "Most people hadn't left yet." 

"Can I just skip tomorrow?" Yamato asks, his voice muffled by his hands. 

"Professor Matsuda was worried about you," Taichi says, setting his chopsticks down and reaching over to gently pull Yamato's hands away. He looks at him earnestly. "I think it'll be okay, really. A few people might talk, but it'll probably die down pretty quickly. Besides, you'll have to put up with a lot worse when your band gets even more famous." 

Yamato groans again, knowing Taichi's right, but hating to acknowledge it. He goes back to his dinner, hoping tomorrow won't be as bad as he fears. 

* * *

He's woken in the middle of the night by a thud, and sits up abruptly, listening to hear the noise again and wondering if it was just in his dream. Beside him, Taichi murmurs sleepily, "What's wrong?" 

"I heard something," he whispers, barely audible. "Like a thud." 

"Miko," Taichi mumbles, rolling over on his side, and he rolls his eyes, realising Taichi's more asleep than awake. Even if the Yagamis cat hadn't passed away a couple of years ago, Miko certainly wouldn't be at _his_ apartment. Leaving Taichi to sleep, he throws back the covers and slips out of bed, feeling the need to check on Naoki and make sure he's okay. 

He pads quietly down the hall, pushing the toddler's door open wide, and then stares in disbelief at what he finds. 

Naoki's on the floor, playing quietly with some toys, and when Yamato comes in the room, he looks up at him and grins. "Daddy!" he says. 

"How did you—" he starts, and then shakes his head, knowing now what the thud had been. "Never mind. Naoki baby, it's the middle of the night. You should be in your crib, asleep." 

Naoki abandons his toys to fold his arms across his chest, a little pout coming over his face. "No!" 

"I don't have the energy for this," Yamato grouses, before flipping on the light and crossing the room, sweeping Naoki up into his arms. Naoki wails, but he ignores it and places him back in his crib. He's aggravated, as Naoki had once again thrown a tantrum earlier when Taichi had put him to bed, and he doesn't understand his son's sudden dislike of bedtime. He pulls out a book, sits down in the chair he keeps in there for that purpose, and then says, "Daddy's going to read to you a bit, but you have to go to sleep after that, or you'll go into time-out." 

He opens the book and starts to read, talking loudly over the little boy's sobs. Thankfully when he closes the book fifteen minutes later, Naoki's asleep, so he gets up quietly and turns the light off, setting the book aside and making his way back to his own room, where he crawls back into bed. Taichi's snoring, and doesn't stir as he throws the covers back over himself and cuddles up next to him. He's asleep again within minutes. 

* * *

When Yamato walks into biology class the next day, there _is_ a bit of whispering from some of his classmates, but it's thankfully not as bad as he'd feared, and they're all silenced pretty quickly by Professor Matsuda's glare, his dark brown eyes staring fiercely around the room. After class, he waves Taichi on and approaches the man. 

"Yes, Mr. Ishida?" the man asks, halting in his packing to look at him. 

"Uh..." He feels nervous, suddenly, and fiddles anxiously with the strap of his bag. His track record of talking to professors one-on-one has not been very good so far. But unlike Dr. Kanada, this man hasn't given him any reason to think he hates him. "I just wanted to thank you," he says, abandoning his bag to tuck his hair behind his ear. "For calling the ambulance for me." 

"You're very welcome," Professor Matsuda says, smiling warmly at him. "You're doing okay now?" 

"Yeah," he says, a light blush staining his cheeks. "The doctor said it was just stress." 

"Ah," his professor says knowingly. "Well, I'm glad to hear it was nothing serious. Be sure to take good care of yourself." 

"Yes, sir," he says, his cheeks darkening a bit more. "I will, sir." He smiles, somewhat awkwardly. "I'll see you Tuesday." 

Professor Matsuda nods in acknowledgement, beginning to pack again, and Yamato takes his leave, where he finds Taichi waiting for him outside. 

"What was that about?" Taichi asks him, peeling off the wall to fall in step with him. 

Yamato blushes again. "Just wanted to thank him for calling 119." 

* * *

"No!" A loud wail splits the air, punctuated by a stamping foot on the carpet. "No bed! No no no!" 

Yamato rubs at his temples, the toddler's cries rapidly giving him a pounding headache. Once again Taichi's trying to put Naoki to bed while Yamato curls up on the sofa, attempting to relax, but for whatever reason his son is throwing a tantrum yet again. After another minute of Taichi unsuccessfully trying to get Naoki to cooperate, Yamato stands up. "Here, let me do it," he says exasperatedly. "Maybe he wants me." 

Taichi steps back gladly, and Yamato goes over to the other end of the living room, where Naoki's taken refuge in a corner. "Naoki, it's bedtime," he says, but Naoki simply shrieks again. "Naoki, do you want to go into time-out?" he asks sternly, wincing at a particularly sharp stab of pain over his left eye. 

"No!" 

Yamato takes a deep breath and silently asks for patience. Then he reaches out and picks up his defiant son, ignoring his squirming and crying. He carries him to the bedroom, Taichi following behind him. Between the two of them, they somehow manage to get Naoki changed into his pyjamas, but he puts up another fight when Yamato carries him over to the crib. 

"Maybe he doesn't like the crib anymore," Taichi finally remarks. 

Yamato actually stops in his tracks at that, the book he was going to grab forgotten. He considers Taichi's simple statement, and Naoki's behaviour over the past few nights, and sighs. Why had he not thought of this? It seems so obvious, now that Taichi's said it. "I think you're right," he finally says, and then groans. "That means I'll have to go shopping. You want to go with us tomorrow? After lab?" 

Taichi doesn't look as if he's sure about it, but he agrees anyway. After all, how bad could it be?


	7. Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have _not_ forgotten this fic. If anyone remembers from the last chapter, I mentioned my laptop was messed up and I was building a new desktop. Well, because the universe hates me, building a new one is taking longer than anticipated—I'm having to send parts back to be replaced, because something's not working right. But I miss writing, and so I'm back on my old laptop for now. The screen flickers black every so often, and I even got a blue screen of death once, but, you know, I've made you guys wait long enough. But I can't promise a regular posting schedule again for now. And, I'll confess, I've also jumped into the Final Fantasy XV fandom, which will slow writing down on this as well. Don't hate me.

"See you tomorrow morning?" Taichi asks with a cheerful smile.

Yamato tries to return it. "Yeah," he says, and resists the urge to grab onto Taichi's shirt and yank him back through the door, especially when Taichi leans in and gives him a lingering kiss goodbye. He's surprised at how much he doesn't want Taichi to go back home. 

He shuts the door after Taichi's gone and turns around to face the now-much-more-empty apartment. There's a sharp ache in his chest, and when he goes over to the sofa and sinks down into it, he's not too surprised to feel tears sliding down his cheeks. He feels a bit like a girl, crying just because his boyfriend's left, but there it is. He doesn't want Taichi to go. Taichi has been a big help this past week, especially in caring for Naoki, reducing his stress by a ton, but more than all that, he's simply enjoyed having him here. He's enjoyed the feeling of cooking for someone that appreciates it, and the feeling of a warm body next to him in the bed at night as he sleeps, and waking up to one of them cuddling the other. He's enjoyed the middle of the night sleepy sex, and the playful shower sex, and most of all he's enjoyed not feeling alone. 

Naoki toddles over to him and climbs up on the sofa beside him, then into his lap, reaching out to pat his wet cheeks. "Daddy cry?" 

Yamato takes a shuddering breath, and scoops his son up, hugging Naoki to him briefly. "Daddy's sad, Naoki," he admits, more tears dripping down his face. 

"Daddy sad?" Naoki repeats. 

"Yes baby," Yamato tells him, sitting up straighter and wiping at his face. "Daddy is sad. Daddy misses Taichi already." He sits there for a little bit longer as his tears slow, content to just hold Naoki as the ache in his heart lessens a bit. It's not as if he'll never see Taichi again. They didn't break up, Taichi's genuinely apologetic, they're still together. They've had a great time together and there will be plenty more in the future. Idly, he wonders what Taichi's reaction would be if he asked him to move in. He's not going to of course, it's way too soon in their relationship still, but the thought has certainly crossed his mind a few times over the past week. 

"To'ro?" Naoki asks after a bit, looking at him with a toothy smile. 

Yamato smiles a little. Naoki's loved _Tonari no Totoro_ ever since Yamato first showed it to him, and usually asks to watch it at least once a week. He's tried showing Naoki other Miyazaki movies, and he does like them, but the kid always comes back to Totoro. "Okay," he agrees, lifting Naoki off his lap and setting him down on the sofa so he can get up and put in the movie in. "Totoro it is." 

* * *

When he gets into bed later that night, an hour or two after putting Naoki to bed—thankfully now that Naoki knows he's getting a "big boy bed" soon, he's stopped fighting the crib quite so much, though he hasn't stopped fussing altogether—the bed feels cold and empty, without Taichi there to fill up the other half. He hates it. He can't believe he's gotten so used to having Taichi there in just a week. It takes him awhile to fall asleep, because every time he gets close he keeps absently flinging an arm over to the other side, meaning to curl it around Taichi, and then hitting the cold blanket and remembering he's alone. 

He takes some consolation in the fact that Taichi doesn't seem to have fared any better than he did—he's got bags under his eyes and his face is a bit haggard when they meet up the next morning. 

"Didn't sleep well?" Yamato asks him quietly when they're on the subway, making the usual ride over to the university. 

Taichi makes a face, and then opens his mouth to respond, having to hastily cover an unsuspecting yawn that's managed to slip out. "Not really," he finally says, recalling all the tossing and turning he'd done. He'd been surprised last night to realise how much he'd missed having Yamato next to him while he slept. "You?" 

Yamato just shrugs. "Fine." 

Taichi knows him well enough to know that 'fine' means 'not at all.' He smothers a grin by faking another yawn, wondering if Yamato had missed him just as much. He'd certainly seemed to not want Taichi to leave yesterday. To be honest, Taichi hadn't wanted to leave either. He'd liked staying over at Yamato's, just being there with him. He'd felt like he'd belonged there. A couple of times throughout the week he'd caught himself fantasising about what it might be like to live there all the time. He won't dare suggest it though, because it's not his place, and it also seems too soon in their relationship. Even though they've been together a few years, Yamato hasn't been in the apartment all that long, and he probably wants to just enjoy it with him and Naoki before he thinks about the two of them living together. Not to mention that he's acted like a huge jerk lately, and they need to work on building their trust in each other again before they think about moving in. It's better to just not say anything. 

"What are you thinking about?" Yamato asks suddenly. He's been watching Taichi through partially lidded eyes, curious at the ever changing emotions flashing across his face. He's seen amusement, then happiness, some curiosity, a touch of sadness, and finally a grimace all in the last several minutes. 

Taichi blinks, his face going neutral, and looks over at him. "Nothing much," he says. "Just trying to remember if I did all my homework." 

Yamato nods, not believing him at all. However, Taichi doesn't owe him his every thought, so as long as it doesn't affect their relationship, he's willing to let it be. 

* * *

Later that evening Yamato's just finishing up making dinner when the doorbell rings. He quickly turns the heat down on the stove and then goes to answer it, wondering who it could be. He's not expecting company, and as much as he'd love for it to be Taichi, he's pretty sure Taichi is still at home, where he'd left him this afternoon after picking up Naoki. 

"Dad," he says, surprise colouring his tone as he pulls open the door. "What are you doing here?" 

His dad raises an eyebrow in amusement. "Is that any way to greet your father?" 

He blushes, and opens the door wider, stepping aside. "Sorry. I just wasn't expecting you. Come on in." 

His dad does so, and has barely managed to exchange his shoes for slippers when Naoki's suddenly running up to him, flinging his little arms around Hiroaki's legs, yelling "G'an'pa!" His eyes are shining brightly, and there's a wide grin on his face, making the dimples in his cheeks quite visible. 

Hiroaki laughs, gently freeing himself and stepping further into the living room, shutting the door behind him. "Hey there, Naoki," he says, crouching down to the toddler's level. "I got you a present. Wanna see it?" 

"See?" Naoki asks, catching sight of the brown paper bag in the older man's hand. He reaches out to touch it, and Hiroaki lets him, not protesting as Naoki pulls it away. He lets the little boy fumble with it for a bit, and then helps him to open it up, placing Naoki's hand inside and telling him to close his fingers around what's in there. Naoki does so, and after a moment pulls out something soft and grey as the bag falls to the floor. He turns it over to look at it, and then smiles wide. "To'ro!" he yells excitedly, hugging the stuffed toy close to his chest. 

"You got him a Totoro plush?" Yamato asks his dad, watching as Naoki hugs his new toy again. 

His dad just shrugs, straightening back up, wincing at the ache in his back. "You said he likes the movie a lot, I figured why not." 

"More like obsessed with it," Yamato mutters, as he finally heads back into the kitchen to check on dinner. "You never did say what you stopped by for," he calls out, as he peers at the rice and decides it's done. "I doubt it was just to spoil your grandson," he adds. 

His dad smiles, following him into the kitchen, Naoki not far behind him, the Totoro plush still clutched tightly in his hands. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay, now that Taichi's not here," his dad says. 

"I'm fine," Yamato says honestly, turning the heat off and then pulling the fish out of the oven. "You want to stay for dinner?" he asks. "I can share my fillet with Naoki, he never eats a whole one anyway. It wouldn't be any trouble." 

"Sure," his dad says agreeably. "Anything I can do to help?" 

"If you'll handle Naoki, I'll start dishing the food out." 

It's not quite the same as having Taichi there with him, but it's still nice, to have someone at dinner other than just him and Naoki, to have someone that he can actually talk to and have a conversation with. Yamato enjoys both the meal and his dad's visit, and is a little sorry when his dad goes back home. It reminds him that he's once again alone, something he's finding himself liking less and less. 

* * *

Naoki's new bed is finally delivered to the apartment Wednesday afternoon, bringing relief to them both. Yamato's looking forward to not having to deal with any more tantrums at bedtime, or being woken in the middle of the night by the thud that indicates Naoki's climbed out of his crib again. Naoki's simply excited to have a real bed, and be done with the crib. He won't leave Yamato alone as he first disassembles the crib, stacking it along the walls of the hallway, intending to sell it to a recycle shop later, or maybe auction it off online. Then when Yamato begins to put the frame of the new bed together, Naoki's right there in the thick of it all, constantly trying to hand his Daddy pieces, thrusting them in his face more times than Yamato can count, and wanting to do whatever he can to help. 

It gets frustrating, but Yamato reminds himself that his son's just excited, and there's no reason to yell at him. Finally he has it all assembled, and sets it up, then returns to the living room to drag the small mattress in, letting Naoki help tear off the plastic. He gets it on the bed, and then pulls out the new sheet set he'd bought in preparation, and makes the bed up. 

He laughs when Naoki scrambles up onto it immediately, trying to get under the new covers. "It's not bedtime yet, baby," he tells him. "You've still got a few hours to go." 

Naoki pouts for just a moment, and then gets to his feet. It only takes Yamato a second to realise he's about to jump. "No, Naoki," he says, his voice firm. "The bed is only for sleeping, not for jumping on. You could get hurt, or break the bed. We don't jump on it. Jumping on the bed leads to time-out." 

"No," Naoki tells him, and Yamato's not sure if he's denying time-out or agreeing not to jump, but either way Naoki sits back down before sliding off the bed, which is all Yamato wants. He still has the occasional nightmare about Naoki running into the coffee table, he doesn't need him seriously injuring himself in any more ways. 

* * *

"I think we should start thinking about touring," Ny says. "I know we're still indie, but a small one shouldn't be too hard to pull off, and it's never too early to begin considering it." 

"Yes, that's great!" Daichi says excitedly, jumping up from his chair and pumping a fist in the air. His long silky black ponytail swings around behind him, and Yamato has to dodge it lest he get a face full of hair. It's Friday afternoon, after Yamato and Ratsuii's classes, and they're having a meeting in Daichi's office, folding chairs arranged in a circle in front of Daichi's desk. Nyusumi had called it, which doesn't surprise Yamato in the least. Ny is constantly pushing to keep moving the band forward. Though, Yamato hadn't expected talk of a tour already. 

"So when were you thinking about?" Yamato asks him idly. He's expecting the answer to be something along the lines of summer hols next year—there's no way he and Ratz can tour during school. 

Instead, Ny comes back with, "Shortly after the start of the new year," and Yamato can only stare at him. 

"New Year's?" 

"I know it's not a whole lot of time, but if it's just a small tour around the main areas of Honshuu, we could probably get it organised in three months." 

"Sure!" Daichi says, finally sitting back down in his seat, his brown eyes shining as he begins plotting out a tour in his head. "There's a lot of small venues in Japan that we could play at." He holds out a hand, and starts ticking places off on his fingers. "There's Shelter, O-Nest, Live Inn Rosa—" 

"Hold up," Yamato says, cutting him off. He looks over to Ratsuii for a moment, who's looking equally upset as he feels, and then looks back towards Ny and Daichi. "Ny, you know that's not possible for me and Ratsuii." 

"Yeah," Ratsuii chimes in, "we've got classes, we can't just up and tour around Japan after the new year, not even just on the one island. Why not do a live or two here in Tokyo for now, and plan a tour over the summer?" 

Ny glances between the two of them, looking cross as he leans forward in his folding chair. The metal scrapes across the tiled floor of Daichi's office as Nyusumi accidentally scoots forward, and Yamato winces at the loud noise. "Look, the plan was supposed to be that we focus on the band after high school. That's been the plan for a few years now. You two threw that off by going to university, and I don't see why Kenji and I should have to sacrifice the band now for you guys. The band is supposed to be our top priority, and we're going to go major with or without you." 

Yamato's nearly seething by the end of Ny's little speech, hardly believing what he's hearing, and another glance to Ratsuii tells him his friend isn't faring much better—he's actually clenching a fist in his lap, and it's startling to see, because Ratsuii so rarely gets angry, and shows signs of it even less. More than that though, Yamato's feeling hurt, and imagines Ratz probably is too. They've all been in this band since they were fourteen—five years—and they've always been in it _together_. To hear Ny talk like that, to dismiss both him and Ratsuii as if everything they've contributed means nothing, as if their wants and needs don't matter... it hurts. 

"So, what you're saying is, Ratsuii and I don't matter to the band?" 

"Of course you matter! You give us our mascot, after all, right?" Kenji says, giving an awkward little laugh. Yamato barely spares him an annoyed glance. Kenji's always doing that, always trying to joke around and lighten the mood when things get tense. Most of the time, it works, and none of them mind, but this joke is weak, and the subject too personal to be brushed aside with a simple laugh or two. 

"Of course you matter," Ny says. "The band needs you—and that's the problem. We need both of you, and you're not available the way you should be." 

"And I suppose I was unavailable all throughout the summer hols, when I was killing myself for all those photoshoots and interviews to promote us, and nearly _lost my voice_ trying to get our new album recorded oh-so-perfectly for your exacting standards! Is that right?" Yamato hisses, scowling deeply at Ny. As much as Ny's perfectionist ways have driven him crazy over the years, he's never felt so irritated with the other teen as he does at this moment. 

"Guys, guys, calm down, it's not a big deal," Daichi interjects, trying to placate everyone. "We can work this out." 

"It _is_ a big deal," Ratsuii says, scraping his chair back as he stands. "You and Nyusumi both need to wise up to that fact, and fast, or this band will get nowhere." He folds up his chair and leans it against the wall, then gives one last glance to Yamato before he leaves the office, shutting the door quietly behind him. 

Kenji gapes after him a moment, and doesn't even try to make a joke this time. He just slumps back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest and looking unhappy, strands of black hair falling in his face as he tilts his head down. He ignores them entirely. 

For a moment, the silence is the only thing in the room, and it feels deafening. 

"Yamato, don't be like this," Ny finally says, doing his best to sound earnest. "I could see how much this band meant to you almost from the day I first asked you to join. You can't want to lose it just for school." 

Yamato stands too, shaking his head as he looks down at Nyusumi. He doesn't bother to put his chair away. "I'm sorry, but I'm with Ratsuii on this," he says. "He and I are just as much a part of this band, and you and Daichi need to start taking us into consideration as well." 

He takes his leave after that, not giving the room a backwards glance, and makes his way to the Yagami apartment, where he'd left Naoki with Hikari earlier. It takes him a little while to get there, but he's no less upset when he finally does. He sees Taichi's shoes by the door when Hikari opens it. "Taichi's done with his soccer friends?" he asks, and she nods. He takes Naoki from her with a terse smile and thanks, and then makes his way back to Taichi's room. 

The door's open, and Taichi smiles wide when he looks up at the noise and sees Yamato. "Hey!" he says, getting up from where'd been sprawled on the bed reading manga. He comes over and kisses Yamato briefly, making Naoki fuss as he gets squished between them. Yamato doesn't kiss him back, too angry still, and Taichi pulls back after a moment, the smile falling. "What's wrong?" 

Yamato takes a deep breath, and then goes to sit down at the desk, Naoki in his lap. "Ny's got some nerve," he finally says, and then goes on to explain what happened at the band's meeting, getting even more upset as he recalls what Ny had said. "I know Ny's always been a little zealous about the band, and tends to go crazy around lives, and I know going major is important to him—but it's important to all of us, we've _all_ helped make the band into what it is today, and I don't think it'll hurt if it takes us longer than planned. I'm pretty sure we'll still go major while we're in university, it's not like Ratsuii and I are asking him to hold off for ten years," he complains. 

"Have you talked to him about it?" Taichi asks, and Yamato scowls. 

"Ratsuii and I both have before, a couple times," he says. "This just isn't like Ny, he usually tries to make _everyone_ happy." 

Taichi raises an eyebrow, finally going back over to his bed to lie down on his stomach. "Really? I know I don't know him as well, but I always got the sense he put himself first." 

Yamato sighs. "He does, to a point, but not... He's not usually this selfish and self-centred. He likes to see others happy, but he won't sacrifice his own happiness just for others. That's why I said he usually tries to find a way to make everyone happy—to where he's equally as happy as everybody else. That he's completely dismissing what Ratsuii and I want is not like him." 

"Well, it sounds like you guys got pretty heated today... Maybe give him some time to cool off, and then try talking to him?" 

Yamato sighs. "I don't see what else we can say that we haven't already that would get him to change his mind." He absently runs his hands through Naoki's hair, trying to soothe the toddler as he starts to fuss, bored. "Thanks for letting me vent though, I guess I should get going before this little guy winds up throwing a full-blown tantrum." 

Taichi smiles at that, though concern still crinkles in the corners of it. "Sure," he says. "Call me later?" 

Yamato nods, and goes over to give him a quick kiss goodbye before he heads out of the room, grabbing the diaper bag by the front door before he slips his shoes back on and starts the commute back home. 

* * *

Yamato finds it hard to cool off during the following week—and that Ratsuii's still upset about it doesn't help either. They share their fundamentals of music class together on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, and each time Yamato arrives and slides into his seat, Ratsuii's ranting at him about how insensitive Ny is before he's even gotten his notebook out. Of course, he's feeling the same way, so he doesn't really mind too much. 

When Friday afternoon rolls around, they have another meeting—without Daichi this time. After his third class for the afternoon is over, he meets up with Ratsuii near the front of the university, and they make their way over to Ny's house, where Emi lets them in. Her hair's changed again—the majority of it is black, with two big streaks of bright red coming down either side in the front. Yamato wonders what Ny's hair will look like, not that he has to wait long to find out. 

Kenji greets them awkwardly once they get up to the bedroom, and Yamato looks over at Ny. He's got the same colours as his twin, but instead his entire left side is dyed the same shade of red as Emi's, while the right is completely black. It's a bold contrast, but it goes well the outfit he's wearing—one pants leg is red and black plaid, with the other black, while his black shirt is trimmed with red plaid, and of course everything is covered with all kinds of straps, zippers, and studs, and topped off with studded bracelets. It's not a look Yamato would ever wear casually, but Ny can pull it off. 

Normally he'd let Ny know this, but today he's ignoring Yamato and Ratsuii, sitting cross-legged on his bed, partially turned away from the door, arms folded across his chest and a sullen look on his face. 

Ratsuii and Yamato both greet Kenji back, and then glance at each other in concern over Ny's attitude. They'd agreed earlier that they couldn't let this go on anymore, that they needed to talk to him and lay out exactly how they were feeling and what they thought of how Ny was acting, but it's not a good sign that he already doesn't seem receptive to talking. Still, Yamato takes a seat in Ny's desk chair and Ratsuii leans against the drawers next to him. 

"Can we talk?" Ratsuii opens with, deliberately directing the question towards Ny. 

For a moment, Ny doesn't respond, then he quickly glances over at him before looking away again. "Go ahead," he mutters. 

Ratsuii looks over at Yamato, who nods. He's fine with going first. "Ny, look," he starts off. "Ratsuii and I have both agreed that this needs to be said. We're very unhappy with the way things have been lately, with you and the band. You've made us both feel like our needs aren't important, like our contributions to the band mean nothing at all. You treat us as if we don't care about the band as much as you, and act as if we're easily replaceable. The band is supposed to be a family, we've all agreed on that for a few years now, and yet neither of us are really feeling that anymore." 

"It feels like you've become very controlling and inconsiderate with how the band is run," Ratsuii says, taking up where Yamato has left off. "I know you've always had a tendency to need things to go your way, but this has been going beyond that for the past few months now. You plan things with complete disregard to us and our schedules, you never check with us before accepting last-minute plans that Daichi tacks on, and like Yamato said, you treat us as if we don't bring much to the band." He stops, but Ny's still sitting there with a stubborn, mulish look on his face, not saying anything. 

Yamato decides to carry on. "Ny, we both know the band is important to you, and how much it means to you to go major. We're not disputing that, but you don't seem to believe that it means just as much to me and Ratsuii, that we both love it as much as you and Kenji do. We want to go major too, we want to succeed." 

"But school is also important to us," Ratsuii adds. "Maybe it's harder for you to understand, but we've got kids we have to think about, we can't just pin everything on the band and hope it all works out—we need to have a back-up future planned, just in case the band _doesn't_ go major, or something else happens—we need to know our kids will still be taken care of." 

There's a moment's pause, a brief heartbeat of silence. Yamato is staring at Ratsuii with a panicked look on his face, but Ratz isn't picking up on it, isn't getting what he's just done. Then Kenji speaks up. "Kids, as in... plural?" he asks quietly, his confusion obvious. Even Ny's turned towards him now, a baffled look replacing his surly pout. 

Ratsuii gives him a blank look for a moment, and they can all see it in his expression as he goes back over his words in his head—the moment he realises exactly what he's said. "Well, shit," he says quietly, and then sighs out deeply. He looks back and forth between Nyusumi and Kenji. "Guess I might as well tell you," he mumbles. 

"You've got a kid?" Kenji asks, his voice rising in surprise, wobbling a bit on the last word. "Like, a little kid, like Yamato's kid?" 

"She's six now," Ratsuii says, and there's another moment of quiet, and then— 

" _Luna_?" Ny's voice is even higher than Kenji's, and filled with a mingling of incredulity and disbelief. 

"She doesn't know," Ratsuii admits. "Her mom died giving birth to her. I was only thirteen... Luna's grandparents wanted nothing to do with her once I was given custody. I was so young, I cared a lot for her mom and losing her really hurt me, I didn't know what to do. My mom was worried about what people would think if they knew the truth, so she said Luna was her daughter. She thinks I'm her brother. She's my whole world," Ratsuii says. His voice is tight, his words hushed, and the room is dead silent as Ny and Kenji listen to his secret for the first time. "I don't want to fail her, I hate that I lie to her every single day, I feel so guilty about it—I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she's always taken care of, even if that includes putting school before the band right now." 

"That's sort of how I feel about Naoki," Yamato chimes in softly. "I feel guilty that he doesn't have a mom, I always try so hard to make it up to him that she didn't want him, and I worry every day that I made the wrong choice in raising him alone. So if going to school will help make sure that Naoki is always taken care, then that's what I'll do, even if it's not what I'd originally planned on doing. It doesn't mean I love the band any less, or that I don't want to see it go major. It just means that now I have something that I love even more than the band, something that I'd do anything for, even die for if I had to." 

"Well, fuck," Kenji says after a moment, looking at Ratsuii. "Ratz, man... I had no idea. Why didn't you tell us?" 

Ratsuii gives him a wry smile. "Believe it or not, I just didn't want you to tease me for the rest of my life." 

Kenji scratches his head, looking a bit sheepish. "I wouldn't have! ...Well, not much, anyway." He pauses, and then grins. "Any chance we can make her our back-up mascot?" 

Ratsuii groans, putting his hands up to his face. "No," he says, his words slightly muffled. "No mascots." 

"I'm still a little upset," Ny says suddenly, ignoring their banter entirely. "We had plans, and I feel like you and Yamato changed them on us last minute without consulting us or seeing how we felt about it—not unlike how you guys feel about my last minute plans, I would guess." He holds up a hand when Yamato starts to protest unhappily. " _But_ —I suppose I can't really argue with your reasoning, for either of you. I won't say that I can completely understand how you feel, since I don't have kids and probably never will, but I feel like I can get where you're coming from. So I'll offer my apologies, and try to be more understanding in the future." 

"I think that's really all we want," Yamato says, glancing to Ratsuii. "We're not saying care less about the band, or stop trying to go major. We just want you to understand why school is important to us, and to work _with_ us instead of around us, or against us." 

Ny nods to that. He's not smiling, and it's clear he _is_ still a bit upset, but for the first time, he's offering an apology, so Yamato feels that he's being sincere, and things really will finally start improving. 

"What if we do a fanclub live in December sometime?" Ratsuii asks, sort of as a peace offering. "Sometime during the winter hols? We could have one on Friday, and one on Saturday, hold them in two different venues in different areas of Tokyo. And then we can still also see about planning a tour around Japan next summer during the hols." 

At last, Ny smiles, his face brightening some. "Yeah, a fanclub live could be fun! Maybe advertise it as a preview for the summer tour, pick smaller venues with limited space, make it feel like the tickets are special—it could get people hyped up for the later tour and maybe even get us some new fans, if we can get it talked about in some of the magazines." 

"Yeah!" Kenji says, also starting to look excited, though Yamato privately suspects he's more happy that they're finally getting along again—Kenji's always content to go along with whatever the rest of them want. "Maybe we could do something special _at_ the live, something that'll get people almost fighting over the tickets or something." 

Yamato rolls his eyes. "We don't want to incite violence," he says. "But doing something special is a good idea. Maybe a meet and greet, or maybe we could go all out and do a visual kei look for once, or play a never before heard song or something." 

"I'll talk to Daichi about it," Ny says. His smile is wide, and genuine. 

"Just don't make any permanent plans yet," Ratsuii warns him. 

"I won't." 

Still Ratsuii fixes him with a look, his face serious. "I'm holding you to that," he says. "It's important if this band's going to work." 

Nyusumi sighs. "I know, I know." 

* * *

"You seem in a better mood," Taichi remarks the next day. He's spending it at Yamato's, content to just hang around the apartment for now. Yamato's finding that more and more these days he likes just staying in and being with the two people that mean the most to him. 

"I am, I guess. Mostly just relieved," Yamato admits. They're stretched out on his bed—having recently put Naoki down for his nap, and he is _so_ glad the kid's finally staying in his bed, even if he's not actually sleeping—Taichi sitting up against the headboard while Yamato lays to his right, one leg slung over Taichi's. 

"About what?" 

"The band. I think Ratz and I finally got Ny to see where we're coming from, so hopefully there won't be any more last-minute surprises," Yamato says. 

"What about that tour he wanted?" 

"He's agreed to wait until next summer, we're gonna try to just do a small live or two over the winter hols." 

"Hmm." Taichi reaches out and absently begins to trail his fingers lightly up and down Yamato's left leg. "Do I get to go on this tour with you guys?" 

"If you want." Taichi runs his fingers up his inner thigh, dipping slightly under his shorts, and Yamato shudders at the shiver that runs down his spine. "It probably won't be—oh." He lets out a little gasp as Taichi goes up further, knuckles barely brushing his boxer-clad balls. "—won't be as fun as you're imagining it," he finishes. "Having fun?" he asks pointedly, as Taichi goes back down his leg. 

Taichi grins. "Mm-hmm." 

"Can we at least take this to the other room?" 

Taichi blinks, pulling his hand away completely. "Why?" 

Yamato's silent for a moment, before reluctantly admitting, "I don't want Naoki to hear. He's probably still awake." 

"The living room's not _that_ much further away!" 

Yamato shrugs, and starts tracing little hearts with his finger on Taichi's belly, letting the point of it stop just above the edge of his pants. "You must not want it that badly then." 

Taichi groans. He doesn't understand Yamato's reluctance with this, given that the kid's only two. "Fine," he mumbles, freeing himself from Yamato's leg and slipping off the bed. 

After a moment, Yamato glances at the clock beside his bed before following him. Taichi doesn't know it yet, but he's not going to be the one topping today. 

When Yamato gets to the living room, Taichi's already claimed a spot on the sofa, and he grins and pats the cushion next to him. Yamato raises an eyebrow, but obediently takes a seat. They've got plenty of time before Naoki's nap will be done, they just have to keep quiet. So with that in mind, they spend a fair amount of time just kissing, sitting side-by-side on the sofa, hip-to-hip, thighs pressed together, swallowing up each other’s noises like they're both starving for them, getting a little desperate about it as the temperature rises between them. 

Yamato brings his hand up to cup Taichi’s neck, thumb brushing lightly over a pulse-point, pulling him closer until Taichi’s practically in his lap, and the other boy shifts. He plants one knee into the couch to anchor himself and swings the other leg over Yamato’s, sitting himself down and groaning into his boyfriend's mouth when he realises how hard Yamato already is. 

“That for me?” Taichi asks, his voice low and sultry, grinning against the other boy’s lips. He grinds down just once, causing Yamato to hiss and pant, his hands flying to grip Taichi’s hips and hold him still. 

And Yamato wants to say something snarky back, he really does, but all he manages is an almost pained groan, his dick twitching in his shorts, the tip already beginning to leak when Taichi grinds down on him one more time, grinning still. 

Yamato leans up to capture Taichi’s lips, to kiss him hard and get him back, but Taichi leans back, chuckling slightly, gasping some while Yamato’s fingers start digging into his hips, getting a little mean about it. 

“You didn’t answer my question,” Taichi chides, swaying around a little, dropping sucking little kisses down Yamato’s neck, behind his ear, at the back of his jaw, hitting all of Yamato’s hot spots, and the other teen groans, too loud. 

“Shh,” Taichi breathes against his neck, and Yamato’s head thunks back against the sofa, a shiver running through him. His dick is pressing up against the zipper of his shorts so hard now he can feel all the little grooves—he swears he can, fuck. 

Taichi’s hands are blazing on his already-too-hot skin, down his neck, tracing his collarbone, even over his thin t-shirt. He’s on fire, his brain is fritzing out every time Taichi’s hips shift, he can’t think past what little friction he’s getting, and his hands start to wander. Up the back of Taichi’s shirt, tracing the curve of his spine when he arches his back, and he hears Taichi chuckle softly as he leans back, Yamato’s hands supporting him as he bends backwards, his head tilted back to expose his gorgeous throat, and Yamato thinks he’s showing off until Taichi peeks back up at him, grinning wickedly and does a goddamn full body roll over him, and Yamato’s tether snaps—it's time Taichi finds out who's in control now. 

He surges forward, shooting off the sofa and landing them both on the carpet with a loud thud that neither of them are aware of, too busy yanking at each other’s clothes and licking into each other’s mouths to realise they've also just barely missed the coffee table, a self-satisfied little smirk turning up the corners of Taichi’s mouth still. 

Yamato yanks the shirt right over Taichi's head, leaving his hair a dishevelled mess that lights a fire in his belly, his eyes hot and hungry, and Taichi isn’t smiling so much anymore under the heat of that look. His pupils shiver and expand and he lets out a little whine, wriggling out of his pants and from Yamato’s grasp, darting toward the front door while his boyfriend lets out an indignant, “Get back here!” 

Taichi ignores him in favour of turning over the school bag he'd brought with him—for what, Yamato's not sure—letting the contents clatter out all over the entryway, pens rolling away from him and papers scattering everywhere, and he snatches up the small bottle of lube, about to book it back over to the sofa when he runs face-first into Yamato, not having realised the other boy had followed him. 

Yamato raises his eyebrows, his eyes silently asking why Taichi didn't just get his lube out of the bathroom. 

“Was supposed to be quicker,” is all Taichi says, pushing Yamato down on the floor and crawling over him. 

One or both of them is going to get rug burn in some unpleasant places but neither of them seem to care about that as Taichi squirts some of the slick liquid into Yamato’s hand and lifts up on his knees a little, giving Yamato the room he needs to run his fingers over Taichi’s tight little hole, circling his rim a few times and getting Taichi’s heart pounding in his ears and his dick leaking. 

“C’mon, c’mon,” Taichi whines impatiently, and Yamato smirks up at him, feeling a little spiteful. 

“This for me?” he mocks, running a finger up Taichi’s aching cock, from base to tip, picking up precum as he goes. 

Taichi full-on growls and grabs the hand that's still tortuously circling his rim by the wrist. They lock eyes on each other— _no more screwing around_ —and Yamato swallows a little, feeling his dick throb and strain up against his zipper even more. 

Taichi gives a curt little nod and Yamato mirrors him, and then Taichi sinks down, hissing a little at the sting, making a punched-out noise from deep in his chest, and then he’s rocking his hips and stirring himself up and letting his jaw hang open, blissful. Yamato groans, frozen in place as Taichi rides his finger, and it’s not too long before he pants, "More," and Yamato adds a second finger. He has to stop for a moment to re-slick his fingers before he adds the third, and in no time at all, Taichi is fucking himself on all four of Yamato’s fingers, his hands splayed out over Yamato’s chest for balance, his stomach muscles clenching beautifully under all that tan, luscious skin, a thin sheen of sweat making him look almost ethereal. 

Taichi’s dick is smearing precum over Yamato’s stomach with every roll of his hips, leaking steadily, and Yamato knows his own dick is leaking so much he’s sure he’s got a stain on the front of his shorts at this point. 

They’re both panting and groaning and straining in their own rights, and then Taichi sits himself down hard on Yamato’s fingers and circles his hips, and Yamato can’t take it anymore. He topples the brunette over onto his back, yanking his fingers out and getting his own shorts shoved down his hips just enough to let his aching dick spring free, and Taichi’s lusty, half-lidded eyes widen a little at how red the tip is, flushed with arousal and dying for some relief. 

“You ready?” Yamato pants, slicking up his hand one more time and getting his dick wet, and Taichi gets a little distracted by that red tip poking out over a pale fist over and over again. His mouth goes a little dry and he starts to lean in, wants it in his mouth, but Yamato’s other hand presses gently on his shoulder, pinning him to the floor with a little thump, bringing Taichi back from wherever his brain had drifted off to. 

“I said, you ready?” Yamato asks, his voice a little strained, and Taichi nods a little feverishly, lifting his hips up, an invitation. 

Yamato presses the tip of his dick to Taichi’s loose, wet little hole, presses until he feels the pop, the head of his dick breeching the tight ring of muscle, and he groans at how easily he can slide home after that, bringing their hips flush in one quick, fluid motion. 

Taichi’s mouth drops open, a gasp catching in his throat, and he forgets to breath for a moment too long, inhaling one shuddering, dry breath as his thighs begin to shake, his hands digging into the carpet. 

They both still for a moment, chests heaving and looking into each others eyes, heavy glances dark with lust and need and want, and then Yamato pulls out almost all the way and slams back in—slow at first, loving the hard, heavy drag of his cock as Taichi twitches around him and starts begging for more, more, more… 

So Yamato hikes the other boy’s hips up, pulling him impossibly closer, getting his tan legs up around his ribs, and clutches at the top of Taichi’s thighs for leverage before he starts to really rail into him, the obscene sound of skin hitting skin cracking through the room, punctuated by these little noises coming out staccato from Taichi’s throat, "Ah-ah-ah!," spurring Yamato on. 

“Fuck, yes,” Taichi moans, a little too loud, and Yamato reaches up and pinches his left nipple, which has the exact opposite effect he was planning on. Taichi nearly screams at the sensation, and Yamato slaps his hand over the other boy’s mouth, looking down at him with wild eyes, and he _wants_ to stop moving, wants to still and listen for any sounds coming from the toddler’s room, but he can only manage half of that. 

Yamato’s hips still angle up almost on their own, and Taichi’s eyes roll back into his head—and he’s suddenly spilling hot and wet all over himself, Yamato’s hand still clutched tightly over his mouth and muffling the sounds he’s making as he tightens up inside, twitching and practically begging Yamato to follow right behind him. 

And that’s too much, right there, Yamato can’t take it, the sight of Taichi coming completely untouched underneath him, dirtying up his gorgeously tan chest with streak after streak of his own come, and he yanks his own hand back, grips the top of Taichi’s thighs so hard he might leave bruises and slams into him so hard that they both start inching along the carpet, Taichi lax and spent beneath him but still trying to meet his every thrust, lazily tugging at his softening cock as he does. 

“Oh my god,” Taichi breathes, his chest still heaving a bit, and he squeezes around Yamato one more time before the teen gives in and comes and comes, Taichi’s body wringing him out for all he’s worth. His orgasm lasts for what feels like forever, and he just kind of slumps against one of Taichi’s still-bent knees, presses his forehead to it and tries to catch his breath. 

He’s vaguely aware that Taichi’s hand is still pumping his own dick and he isn’t all that surprised when he feels Taichi’s body clench up around him for a moment, and he hears him gasp, hears the little patter of drops hitting the other boy’s stomach again, and that makes his own dick twitch, still nestled inside of Taichi’s body, and give one more feeble spurt. 

They’re both speechless for a long time, trying to catch their breath, letting their bodies cool, until Yamato finally peels himself off Taichi’s leg and grouses, “You fucking tease." 

Taichi snorts, his eyes still closed but his mouth curling in a grin. “You love it,” he accuses back, and Yamato’s response is to pull out completely, no warning. Taichi makes another punched-out noise at the loss, drifting back enough to start noticing the little patches of discomfort all over his body, and he groans a little, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“You okay?” he hears Yamato ask, from a little further away than he’d have thought—he’s stood up. 

“Rug burn,” is all Taichi can manage to say, trying to move and regretting it. 

“Shit,” Yamato swears, and Taichi cracks open one eye as his boyfriend pads down the hall and into the bathroom, emerges a few moments later holding up a tube and a washcloth 

Yamato crawls back between Taichi legs, grabbing his own t-shirt as he does, and uses the flimsy cotton to quickly wipe up the mess on Taichi’s torso before nudging him and asking him to turn over. Taichi does as he’s asked, hissing a little, and when he’s flat on his belly he hears Yamato suck in a breath through his teeth. 

“You have terrible bedside manner,” Taichi gripes, folding his arms in front of himself and pillowing his forehead. 

Yamato considers playfully swatting Taichi on the ass for the remark, but figures he ought to play nice, given the state of the other boy’s back. It’s covered in discoloured splotches, especially at the tip of his shoulder blades, where he’s bleeding just a little. _Whoops_ , he thinks. 

Yamato takes his time pressing feather-light kisses and the warm cloth to all the burns and then spreading an antibacterial ointment over any places where skin split open, and he’s so engrossed in his care that it takes him a little while to notice how Taichi is staring at him over his shoulder, his one visible brown eye cracked open and almost black with lust, his body rising off the carpet with his heavy breathing. 

In one quick, fluid motion, Yamato has his own back pressed to the carpet and Taichi is on top of him, leaning over him with his hands on either side of Yamato’s head and his dick hard and leaking again on Yamato’s stomach. 

Taichi grins, wicked and seductive and smooth, and growls out, “Your turn.” 

And all Yamato can think as Taichi grinds against him, his lips claimed in a bruising kiss, is how right it feels having Taichi here, and how much he doesn't want him to have to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to mention that the ending scene there was written by my friend sakuradite over on fanfiction.net; I was having trouble with the scene and she helped me out! She gave me permission to change it up a little, but if you want the original, she'll be posting it on her account~


	8. Caress of Venus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, I'm still alive! Sort of. Ever since I had a blood clot two summers ago, it's like my body has been trying to see just how many health problems it can pile on me before I die. Sigh. I've been so fatigued since April, it's been hard to even get out of bed a lot of days, much less write. So the chapter you're getting is the last complete one I had written back during NaNo. But I'm going to try and keep working on this story despite my exhaustion, because I really want to see it through.

Sunday morning starts off interesting—Yamato bolts upright in bed, eyes flying wide open as he exclaims, "Oh shit!"

A short while later, he's on the phone to Taichi while preparing breakfast for himself and Naoki, giving in to his panic. "Please Taichi? This paper's really important, it's a major part of our grade—" 

"I'm in the same class with you, Yamato, you don't have to tell me that," Taichi interrupts him in amusement. 

Yamato blows out a slow breath. "Right, I know that." He pauses for a moment. "Just, can you come over? You don't have to watch Naoki really close, just make sure he's kept busy so I can write." He won't admit it, but even if it weren't for the paper, he'd probably still want Taichi to come over. They spent so little time together over the summer—and it was partly his fault, he knows, he could have sucked it up—but more than that, the apartment is feeling increasingly empty without Taichi in it. 

"Of course, how soon do you need me?" Taichi asks easily—and ignores the part of his brain that's dancing around in glee at getting to spend the whole day at Yamato's apartment again. 

"Whenever you can get here. Thank you, Taichi, I'll make it up to you." 

"Oh, you definitely will," Taichi says, a grin spreading across his face at the thought. 

Yamato sighs in exasperation, though amusement colours his tone. "I didn't mean it like that." 

"Well, you still owe me for the rug burn, too, so one way or another..." Taichi lets his voice trail off suggestively, prompting another sigh out of Yamato. 

"We'll see," is all he says in return. 

* * *

"Guys, this is Junpei. Junpei, this is Taichi, and this is Yamato." 

Taichi flashes Sora's new boyfriend a smile, while Yamato nods politely at him. Sora doesn't always have the best instincts when it comes to good guys, and he'll reserve judgement until he knows this one better. Though he does have to admit the guy is at least good-looking. Straight chin-length brown-blond hair parted to the right and feathering out around his face, stunningly bright green eyes, gloriously bronzed skin, and perfectly aligned shiny teeth that he flashes when he smiles—the guy could be a movie star. 

Yamato tries not to dislike him. 

"Yeah, of the Teenage Wolves, right?" Junpei says when he looks at Yamato. 

Yamato blinks, for some reason feeling a little embarrassed. Something about the way he'd said the band's name... "Yes, that's right," Yamato says. 

Junpei smiles. "Yeah, my little sister's a huge fan." And really, it's more of a smirk than a smile. "She has posters of you all over her walls." 

Yamato blushes, wishing he could just sink into the ground. He knows his fans are going to have posters of him up—he'd had to pose for the things, and he's very aware of just how well they sell. Still, knowing it and encountering it, even indirectly, are two different things entirely. 

"Junpei," Sora hisses, looking a bit scandalised. 

Taichi, traitor that he is, just looks amused by the conversation. 

"Where are we going for lunch?" Yamato asks loudly after a moment, since his boyfriend clearly isn't coming to his rescue. He prays the others go along with him, not wanting to think about teenage fangirls any longer. 

Mercifully, they do. 

Still, the conversation never fully leaves his mind, lingering long after he's picked up Naoki from Taichi's mom and come back home and had dinner and done homework. He can't get the way Junpei had said the band's name out of his mind. There'd been a slight emphasis on the word teenage, for what reason he can't fathom, and the tone had been mocking and derisive. 

He knows he shouldn't let it get to him, but it bothers him. 

After failing to take in the next paragraph of his history textbook for the third time, Yamato gives in and calls Ny. It isn't the first time the thought's crossed his mind, really—they'll all be twenty soon, Ratsuii in just a couple of months. The name won't suit them forever. 

"I was thinking," he says, when Ny picks up and they've exchanged greetings. 

"Uh-oh, hope it didn't hurt," Ny jokes. 

Yamato rolls his eyes. "Ha ha. Look, what do you think about dropping "Teenage" from our band name, and just becoming The Wolves?" 

He can practically hear the other teen's confused blink. "Why?" 

Yamato shrugs out of habit, even though Ny can't see him. "We'll be adults soon enough. It'll be weird to keep referring to ourselves as teenagers. The name fit when I first came up with it, but now it feels like we're starting to outgrow it." 

"You have a point," Ny says after a moment. "I'll think about it, and run it by the others as well, I suppose." 

"Great," Yamato says, and even he finds it weird by how relieved he is. "Talk to you later." 

"See you," Ny says, and the line goes dead. 

* * *

"He seemed a little under the weather today," Yuuko says. "You might want to keep an eye on him this evening." 

"Okay, thanks," Yamato says. He's distracted, school work on his mind, and only half pays attention to what Taichi's mom tells him, absently-minded saying goodbye. 

He does notice that Naoki's a bit listless throughout the evening. Most nights he's energetic, babbling in toddler speak about his day, or his new favourite toy, or the dinner Yamato serves. Tonight though, he's quiet, and eats less than half of what he normally does, and doesn't protest when Yamato decides to put him to bed early. Yamato spares a thought to hope Naoki's not actually getting sick, before his mind gets wrapped up in studying for a test he's got Friday. 

A retching sound wakes him in the middle of the night. He's not certain it's not the remnants of his dream when he first wakes, but a second round has him bolting out of bed, all sleepiness gone, nearly killing himself with his sheets as he rushes down the hall to his son's room. "I'm coming, baby," he calls, though he's not sure Naoki will hear him over the sound of his throwing up. 

Yamato wrinkles his nose at the stench as he enters the room, but ignores it easily enough as he hurries to Naoki's side, helping the little boy up into a position so that he doesn't choke, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he continues to be sick. "Shh," Yamato murmurs, nonsensical. "It's okay, baby, Daddy's here, you're okay." He continues to sit there, comforting his son until soon Naoki's bringing up nothing but bile, and then at last stops altogether. 

"Feel better now?" Yamato says teasingly, but of course that's about the time that Naoki starts sobbing. "Okay, okay, guess not..." 

Yamato quickly feels his forehead, noting that he feels warm but not _too_ warm—a fever, but not bad. He soothes Naoki some more, then tells him, "I'll be right back," as he darts into the bathroom, grabbing a washcloth from under the sink and wetting it with warm water before heading back. He proceeds to clean his son up some, washing his face and arms and pulling his dirty clothes off. He gets him fresh clothes, helping him into them, and then picks him up. "You wanna sleep in Daddy's bed tonight?" he asks. 

Naoki buries his face into Yamato's shoulder, his sobs tapering off. "Daddy's bed," he says into Yamato's shirt, and despite the situation Yamato can't help but smile a little. It's not what he ever would have predicted for his life, and he hadn't realised he was signing up to clean toddler barf at two in the morning, but he loves this amazing little boy, this wonderful human being that _he_ helped to create, with all his heart. 

"Come on then," he says, and carries Naoki the short bit down the hall to his own room. He gets him settled into his bed, and has to bite his lip to avoid laughing at how much the queen size bed dwarfs the little boy—he's nearly swallowed up by all the blankets. He situates himself next to Naoki, then begins to rub his back, singing softly to him, and it doesn't take long for Naoki to fall asleep. Yamato glances over to his clock, sighing as he notes the time. 2:37 in the morning, and he still has to clean up the mess in the other room before it sets in and gets more difficult to scrub. 

He lets out another sigh, and then reluctantly slips carefully out of the bed, deciding he might as well get to it. 

* * *

Yamato's tired and dragging the next morning when he gets up, having been woken up twice more in the night by Naoki—though thankfully early enough to save _his_ bed from also getting thrown up on. He doesn't bother to feed Naoki breakfast, knowing the kid would just throw it right back up. Instead, he shoots off a quick text to Taichi— _Naoki sick, won't be in history, not sure about bio_ —and then calls the doctor's office. 

He's just managed to get Naoki dressed when he gets a return text. _Hope the little guy's okay. I'll get a copy of Sora's notes for you._

Yamato smiles a bit as he reads the message, then sends a reply while he's tossing things into the diaper bag, resorting to text speak when using only one hand proves to be annoying. _dont think its serious. &dont have to but thx. txt when I know more._

_Okay. Thanks._

He flips his phone shut and shoves in it his pocket, and then glances into Naoki's closet, looking at the folded up stroller with hesitation. He hasn't tried to put the kid in it for months now, but... Well, the doctor's office isn't _that_ close, and he doesn't want to have to carry his sick son for the duration of the time they're _not_ on the subway. Deciding to hell with it, he pulls it out. He only hopes Naoki is feeling too sick to put up a fuss, even though the thought makes him feel guilty. 

"Come on, baby," he says, hefting the little boy up. Naoki settles into the stroller without a single cry—it's actually a little disconcerting, even though it's what Yamato was hoping for. It surprises him how much he hates it to see his son this way—he'd been sick a couple of times as an infant, and that had been a little scary, feeling how warm he was, but ultimately it hadn't seemed much different than the rest of the time—he'd cried and thrown up and slept, just like he did when he _wasn't_ sick. Now, it's different. Seeing his normally energetic and happy son look so pale and listless, crying and complaining as best as he can about being feverish and achy makes Yamato's heart hurt for him. It's like the time Naoki ran into the coffee table—Yamato wants to take his son's pain away and protect him always. He hates that he can't. 

Shaking off his somewhat maudlin thoughts, he locks the front door and sets off. A while later, he finds himself looking around the waiting room of the doctor's office, a slight grimace on his face at all the sick and sniffling kids surrounding them. He knows Naoki's not any better than the rest of them, even though he's not coughing and sneezing into his face mask like a lot of the kids, but the place still feels like a cesspool of infection. 

"Please don't let me get sick," Yamato mumbles to himself, and Naoki lolls his head to look at him, hearing the noise but not the words. "It's nothing, baby." 

Naoki looks at him a moment longer, and then scoots closer to him, curling up into Yamato's side, feeling too bad to care that his dad's talking to himself like a crazy person. Yamato sighs and puts an arm around his son, tired and bored. He gets the feeling he won't be making it to his biology class in a little while. It's probably for the better anyway, as he's not sure he'd be able to pay attention or even stay awake. 

It's funny—he can still remember, with a fuzzy sort of recall, the time Ratsuii had come to school a few years ago after staying up all night taking care of a sick Luna. He doesn't remember the exact words anymore, but he knows something had been mentioned about him having to do this one day. At the time, Yamato couldn't even begin to imagine it, thinking it had sounded horrifying. Now that it's here, well... nothing about this has been horrifying. It's just yet another parenting thing he has to do, and at this point he's so used to being sleep deprived, both from when Naoki was a baby and all the stuff that's been going on lately, that the thought of going to school on so little sleep hardly fazes him. In fact, more than anything right now, he's simply _bored_. 

_You never told me dealing with a sick kid would be so boring._ He doesn't know if Ratsuii's in class or not, but he knows Taichi is, and Ratsuii's really the only one that can relate, anyway. 

His phone soon vibrates with a response. _Huh?_

_Never mind. Naoki's sick, I'm at the doctor's waiting, bored out of my mind._

_Oh. Sorry man. Hope he's okay. And yeah waiting around does get boring._

_I suppose it's that way for everything. You in class?_

_Yeah._

Yamato grimaces. _Sorry. Didn't mean to bother you._

_Nah, it's fine. This professor is boring anyway. And the girl next to me has a crush on me, I can just get the notes from her._

He smirks to himself. _Isn't that sort of... using her?_

_I'm just being resourceful!_

He almost laughs aloud at that, before catching himself. He doesn't want everyone thinking he's lost his mind, or to get kicked out for scaring a bunch of kids. He starts to type a reply, but just then their number is finally called, so he stands up, changing the text to a quick _g2g_ before gathering up Naoki and following the nurse. 

* * *

_Strep throat._

_Huh?_

_It's what Naoki has. Probably skip classes and lab tomorrow to take care of him._

_What about our test?!_

_I'll email him._

_You need me to come over and help after classes?_

_No, it's okay. He's not that sick. Don't come, you might get sick too._

_But then I could be spoiled by you taking care of me. Sounds great to me! See you soon!_

_Don't even try it, Yagami. I'll call Hikari._

_*pouts* You're no fun._

_That's not what you said a few nights ago ;)_

_Yamato! Now you're just being a tease._

_I'll make it up to you soon ;)_

_Damn right you will, Ishida :P_

* * *

That night isn't any better in terms of sleep, having to get up constantly to take care of a sick two year old, and Yamato's sorely glad he's skipping classes the next morning when he wakes up exhausted. He really doesn't even want to get out of bed, they're enough into October now that the nights and early mornings are just cool enough to enjoy huddling under a warm blanket, and right now he feels cosy and comfortable... 

He sighs, and then groans softly, throwing back the covers a bit while being careful not to smother Naoki. He needs to check and see if his professor emailed him back about making up the test he'll be missing today. 

"...Nothing, really?" he mumbles to himself once he's got the computer booted and his email pulled up. He feels a twinge of anxiety, but he's still got a couple of hours before he needs to really worry about it, so he pushes it aside and goes to deal with his ailing son. 

Two hours before class, he finally gets a reply back. 

_Mr. Ishida,_  
_I sympathise with your plight; however, I unfortunately cannot give make-up exams. I hope to see you in class._  
_Professor Takada._

When Yamato reads the short reply, all he can do is stare at it blankly for a moment, before expressing one word that sums up how he's feeling pretty accurately. "...Shit." He stares some more, breathing out slowly as he wonders what the hell to do now. He's got Naoki, he can't just leave him alone, and he certainly can't bring him to class. Tendrils of panic start to well up, possibly leftover remnants from last term, thinking every missed class was a failure for the course, but even if this professor isn't a dick like Dr. Kanada, he doesn't want to miss the class, or the exam—and it seems a little unfair the guy won't give make-up exams. 

"Okay, think Ishida... You've got options... and why is it always the literature professors?" He rubs at his eyes, feeling stressed, and thinking that every little thing has him stressed way too easily these days. He misses when he could feel laid-back about things, and isn't sure if this is a result of becoming a parent or just growing up. Perhaps both. 

He calls Taichi's mom first, thinking maybe she'd be willing to come to his apartment, but no one answers even when he lets the line ring several times. The same thing happens at the Izumi residence, although he hadn't really expected anyone to be home on a weekday. Swearing, he calls Ratsuii's cell, but the relief he feels at Ratsuii answering is short-lived. 

"I'm sorry, man, you know I would in a heartbeat if I could, but I've got a class myself here in an hour." 

"What about your mom, or your siblings? Who's watching Luna?" Yamato asks him in confusion. 

"They're all at work, or school. Luna's at school too, she's six now, remember? She started first grade this year." 

"Right, right, okay... Thanks. Talk to you later." 

"Good luck, Yamato. Bye." 

He hangs up with another swear, taking a deep breath to calm down, but he's aware that he's running out of time. He briefly considers Kenji, or Ny, but Kenji's still too much of a joker, and Ny... well, he's still a bit annoyed with Ny's behaviour of late. And he also knows the kinds of things Ny gets up to sometimes. As much Yamato trusts them, he doesn't trust Naoki with them. 

Fuck, what does he do... His two usual babysitters aren't available, the few friends he'd trust with Naoki are all in school, Ratsuii has class, he doesn't trust his other bandmates enough, his parents are likely working, he can't just _not_ take his exam... 

He swallows, almost in tears at the thought of missing class. He'll call his dad anyway. Maybe he'll have a suggestion, or miraculously be off work. 

"Ishida." 

"Dad..." he pauses, feeling his throat catch. Why is he so worked up over this? His grades have always mattered to him, but when did they become _this_ important, that he's about to cry because he'll miss one exam? It's not even a midterm or a final, it's not a huge part of his grade, and if he has to take one class over surely it's not _that_ big of a deal? 

"Yamato? Is everything okay? Is it Naoki? Are you okay?" 

Apparently he's been quiet longer than he realises, if his dad's sounding that worried. He clears his throat so he can speak. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, just... Naoki's got strep throat and I was going to stay home and watch him, but I have a test in an hour and a half and the professor says he won't let me make it up and I can't find anyone to watch Naoki..." He sighs. "I know you're at work, but I didn't know if there was some way, maybe..." 

"I can't, but go ahead and get ready. I know your mom's on vacation this week, I'll call her and have her come over to your apartment." 

"Thank you," Yamato tells him fervently, relief washing through him. They quickly say their goodbyes and hang up, and he hurries to get ready for class, checking on Naoki again once he is. The poor kid is sleeping, though obviously not very well—he's still feverish, and is both sweating and shivering at the same time. Yamato frowns, wondering if he should wake him up to take his temperature a bit early, or leave it for his mom to do at the appropriate time. 

It winds up being moot when he hears the doorbell ring, announcing his mom's arrival. He glances at Naoki, wondering if the noise woke him, but he hasn't moved, clearly out of it. Yamato looks at his watch, noting his mom's made good time—if he hurries, he'll just make it. 

"Thanks so much Mom," he says as he lets her in. "Did Dad tell you he was sick?" 

She nods, hanging up her jacket and slipping her shoes off. "It's no problem, honey. And yes, he mentioned it." 

"Okay, well, he's sleeping right now, he's still feeling warm, I wake him up to check his temperature every hour. He's got meds in the fridge, and plenty to drink, and he's not eating much besides broth or popsicles. I shouldn't be more than two hours, it's just a test." 

"Oh, no, go ahead and go to all your classes, I can stay with him. He'll probably be too busy sleeping to miss you." 

"Thanks, that makes me feel better," Yamato tells her sarcastically, but he flashes a smile to take any sting out of the words. 

His mom smiles at him. "You know what I mean. Go on now, before you're late." 

He nods, and snatches up his bag by the front door before slipping on his shoes. "Thanks again, I'll see you later!" he calls, already heading out the front door. He checks his watch again, letting out a swear as he breaks into a run. He manages to slide into class with one minute to spare and Professor Takada giving him a warning look. Taichi raises his eyebrows at him in surprise, but there's no time to explain. 

"Tell you later," he whispers as the tests get handed out, and Taichi nods. 

* * *

Yamato's woken Monday morning by Naoki jumping on top of his stomach with a giggle. He jolts awake, his eyes snapping open, feeling the wind knocked out of him. 

"Mor'nin' Daddy!" Naoki says, giggling again. 

"Morning, Naoki," Yamato manages, wincing at how scratchy his voice comes out. He's not feeling good at all—he's warm despite the blankets, his head's pounding, and his stomach's rolling uncomfortably. All it takes is for him to swallow and feel how sore his throat is to realise he's caught Naoki's sickness. _At least he seems to be feeling better_ , he thinks grumpily to himself. 

At first he contemplates going to classes anyway, but then Naoki suddenly shifts on top of him, reaching out to pat his face, and he feels vomit rising and knows that won't be possible. He carefully but quickly lifts Naoki off of him, and then throws back the covers, darting for the bathroom, making it just in time. He doesn't know how long he stays hunched over the toilet, fighting his body to keep all of his organs _inside_ where they belong, but when at last he slumps back, scrubbing wearily at his mouth, Naoki's standing in the doorway of the bathroom, wide-eyed. 

"Daddy is sick! Like me!" 

"Yeah, Daddy is sick," Yamato says tiredly. His throat feels shredded now, and his head feels as if someone's taking a sledgehammer to it. He desperately wants to crawl back in bed and burrow under the covers for the next few days, but even if he skips classes, he still has to take care of Naoki. He doesn't want to dump the poor kid on his parents again, and Naoki's never slept away from home—Yamato's not sure how well he would take to it. 

Somehow he manages to get himself off the floor, and rinses his mouth with water from the tap. Back in his bedroom, Naoki following behind him, he grabs his phone and flips it open to text Taichi. 

_Guess who caught Naoki's sickness?_

_Oh no._

_Yeah, I won't be in classes the next few days._

_I'm coming over._ Yamato scowls at his phone as he reads Taichi's message. He can take care of himself. He's about to send back a reply when his phone chimes with another text. _I know you, Ishida. Don't even dare argue with me._

"Fine," he says sullenly to the phone as he flips it shut. 

"Daddy?" Naoki says, wrapping himself around Yamato's left leg and looking up at him with a smile. 

"Hmm, baby?" 

"I love you!" 

Yamato blinks, completely caught off guard. The toddler's pronunciation is off, his 'v' still coming out more like a 'b,' but it's the first time Yamato's heard his son say that phrase. He swallows around the sudden lump in his throat, his chest feeling tight, and forces out, "I love you too, baby," in return, ruffling Naoki's soft blond hair. Naoki hugs his leg, and despite how horrible he's feeling, the simple affection from his son warms his heart. He leans down and picks him up, squeezing him close in a return hug. Naoki giggles, patting his back. 

"Taichi's coming over soon," he says as he sets the little boy back down. "You wanna sit with me on the sofa and watch some television until he gets here?" 

"Yeah, TB!" Naoki cheers, and Yamato has to smother a snort. 

"Let's go then." 

* * *

Taichi shows up about an hour and a half later. Yamato's half-asleep on the sofa, huddled up under the blanket he keeps on the back of it, Naoki curled up into his side, and the knock jars him awake, making him start and nearly upsetting Naoki. 

"Daddy?" 

"It's just Taichi." 

He gets up reluctantly and lets his boyfriend in, making a face when Taichi greets him with, "You look like crap." 

"And so lovely to see you too," Yamato says dryly. "Did you rush over here just to kick me while I'm down?" 

Taichi grins. "You know you love it." 

Yamato rolls his eyes, choosing not to dignify that with a response. "You really shouldn't have come over though," he says as he crawls back under his blanket. 

Taichi jabs a finger towards him. "I said no arguing." 

"But you're missing class," Yamato protests. "And you'll probably get sick too." Secretly though, he's glad Taichi is here. It's nice to have someone that wants to take care of him when he's not well, and he still hasn't gotten over missing Taichi ever since he stayed the week. He really hopes Taichi stays for a few days. 

"I don't care," Taichi says firmly. "What do you need me to do?" 

"Well, I haven't fed Naoki yet..." 

"Right," though he looks as if he's having second doubts now. Yamato's not sure if it's at the thought of cooking or just taking care of Naoki, though Taichi's done it plenty of times in the past without complaint. 

"You don't have to cook. Just give him some cereal. And his medicine's in the fridge." 

"No problem," Taichi says, but he still looks uneasy. Yamato would question it, if he wasn't busy currently bolting for the bathroom again. 

Halfway through, he feels a warm washcloth being set against the back of his neck. "Naoki?" he mumbles when he's got a moment. 

"In his high chair, probably wearing his cereal more than eating it." 

"Thanks." 

Taichi waves it away. "It's fine." It's not, entirely. Or it is, but sort of isn't. Since he stayed that week with Yamato, he's felt... different, about Naoki. He's not entirely sure how to sort it out in his head. He had loved that week, loved staying here, had felt like he belonged, but after going back home and realising how much he missed being at Yamato's, it had made him _really_ start thinking about what it would like to be live here all the time, not just fantasising. And being here would make him sort of like another dad to Naoki, or at least he thinks it would. And he's not sure how he feels about that. It's one thing to babysit him, or to help out now and then. But to be taking care of him full-time, like a _parent_... 

He doesn't even know why he cares right now. It's not like he _is_ living here, and he's already decided he's not going to say anything about the possibility until Yamato does, not wanting to intrude. So for now he's still just helping out with Naoki like he always has, and it shouldn't mean anything more than that. 

And yet, somehow, it does. 

"You okay?" Yamato says suddenly, leaning up to flush the toilet. 

Taichi blinks, pulled out of his musing as he remembers just where he is. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" 

Yamato shrugs. "I'll live. You just went all quiet. Doing some deep thinking?" he teased. "Be careful you don't hurt your head." 

Taichi gives him a wry smile, taking the washcloth and wringing it out before redoing it with hot water again. "Something like that," he says, putting the washcloth on Yamato again. 

"You wanna talk about it?" Yamato asks, a little more serious now. "I'll do my best to listen in between rounds of barfing." 

That startles a laugh out of Taichi, and he shakes his head. "I need to figure it out first," he says, and Yamato nods. "I should probably go check on Naoki," he adds, feeling the need to escape before Yamato decides he wants to press the subject. 

Yamato nods. "Leave him too long and he'll start flinging cereal at the cabinets." 

"We definitely don't want that." 

* * *

Like before, Yamato enjoys the few days that Taichi stays over, taking care of him and helping with Naoki. However, he still acts somewhat weird around the little boy and Yamato absolutely can't figure out why—Taichi's never had a problem with him before. He certainly wasn't like this the last time he stayed, or all the times he was with Naoki in between then and now. 

More than that, he still seems to have something on his mind that he won't talk about it. It's unusual for him. Yamato's usually the one to keep everything inside, while Taichi's more the type to blurt out whatever he's thinking. Or at least he was. Yamato supposes he's not the only one that's been doing some growing up the past couple of years. 

"Feeling better?" Taichi asks when Yamato dares to eat some soup for dinner the next night. 

"Mm-hmm. Medicine's helping," he says quietly. He hadn't wanted to, but Taichi had forced him to go to the doctor yesterday, staying home to watch after Naoki. The doctor had confirmed his illness as being strep, so he owes Taichi for making him go, since he would have been much more miserable without the medicine. 

"Daddy is sick," Naoki interjects, trying to sound and look serious. With his high-pitched baby voice and sauce smeared all over his face, it doesn't work very well. Yamato hides a grin, and can see Taichi struggling to do the same. 

"Well, that's why I'm staying here and helping him get better," Taichi informs the toddler when he's not in danger of laughing. 

Much later, when Naoki has long since been asleep and he and Taichi are curled up under the blankets together in his big bed, Yamato asks him when he's going home. 

"I was thinking probably tomorrow afternoon," Taichi says, absently running fingers down Yamato's bare chest. "You seem to be getting better, and you were talking about going back to classes Thursday..." 

"Yeah," Yamato says, trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. What Taichi is saying makes sense, but... he really likes having him here. He doesn't want Taichi to go home already. It's not about being sick, or even the help with Naoki that he provides. It's just that having Taichi staying here feels _right_. It makes him think again about having Taichi move in. He feels like it's too soon still, that Taichi won't want to yet, or that it might mess up their relationship somehow, but he really hates the thought of Taichi not being here again. 

"What, you gonna miss me?" Taichi teases, his hand dipping lower to Yamato's stomach. 

"A bit," Yamato admits, but then he doesn't want Taichi to realise just how serious he really is, so he adds, "It's nice being able to laze around the apartment while someone else takes care of Naoki." 

Taichi makes an amused noise. "Aha, I knew you just wanted me for slave labour. Why not just hire a nanny?" 

"That sounds terribly British," Yamato says with a snicker. "And why hire one when I have you?" 

"Well, I certainly wouldn't mind being your slave just for tonight..." Taichi says, trailing his fingers to the edge of Yamato's pyjama pants as he lets his voice go low and sultry. Yamato shivers, both at the touch and at the sudden sexual energy in the air. He loves it when Taichi sounds like that, just the heat and pure _need_ in his voice is enough to get Yamato hard nearly instantly. 

Taichi sits up, the blankets falling off of him as he scoots down just a bit, and starts to slide his fingers under the edge, going even lower, but Yamato reaches out his own hand, shoving away the blankets completely, wrapping his fingers around Taichi's wrist, staying him. It's so tempting, but... "We can't," he says. 

"Why not?" Taichi asks, and he sounds pouty, and god help him, somehow it turns him on even more. 

"...I'm sick?" Yamato says, and okay, he's a little incredulous that he has to point out the obvious, but Taichi doesn't always think when his dick takes over. 

"Are you feeling bad right now?" 

"Not particularly, a little, but... that's not the point!" 

"Then what is?" And Taichi's shaking his wrist off, going lower still, fingers brushing gently through coarse curls, and Yamato shudders at how good it feels. 

"I... Taichi, no, I'll get you sick." His protests are feeble, and pointless—he's already gone, and he knows it. It always feels too fucking good, and Taichi knows just how to draw him in so he doesn't want to say no. 

"Then we just won't kiss." 

Yamato doesn't have a response to that—partially because it's so ridiculous he doesn't know what to say, and partially because Taichi's hand is already wrapping loosely around him, sliding up and down in slow, lazy strokes. Yamato groans, and lets his head thunk back against the headboard. 

"Still wanna say no?" Taichi asks, grinning cheekily at him, his eyes sparkling with laughter. 

Yamato scowls at him, lifting his head again. "Jerk," he says, though there's no heat behind the word. 

"Well, if you really don't want me to..." Taichi starts to pull his hand away, and though it's embarrassing, Yamato actually whines before he can stop himself. Taichi raises an eyebrow. "What was that?" 

"Shut up," Yamato tells him, scowling harder, though the darkening colour in his cheeks rather ruins the effect. 

Taichi actually has the audacity to laugh, the smug bastard. "That's what I thought, Ishida," he says, curling his fingers back around Yamato's dick, firmly this time, and Yamato can't help but to moan when Taichi tugs his hand upwards in a quick stroke, even though he really wants to call Taichi a smug bastard out loud. Taichi begins to jerk him off in earnest, and _fuck_ , why does it always feel so incredible? A few more strokes, and he's already feeling feverish—though whether that's the illness or the arousal, he's not quite sure—and really, who does Taichi think he is? 

"Exactly who—oh fuck—" and he's gasping, warm wet heat suddenly enveloping his right nipple, and Taichi's still fisting his dick, so tight in his boxers, the head rubbing against the soft cotton fabric "—who is supposed to be— _Taichi_ —" his voice goes shrill, there's so much friction, his boxers are soaked through with precum in one spot, and his blood feels like molten lava pounding through his veins, he can't think straight, and now there's a hand caressing his balls through his boxers, and he's going to come soon if Taichi doesn't _stop_ — 

Taichi chuckles, causing little vibrations against his nipple, and a shiver races down his spine at the sensation. "What was that?" Taichi asks, briefly pulling his mouth away. "Were you saying something?" 

Yamato can only stare at him, eyes glazed, his mind blank. Had he been saying something? He doesn't know, doesn't care, only knows that he wants Taichi to keep touching him, to keep stroking him— 

"Who is supposed to be...?" Taichi prompts, a coy little smirk on his face, and he knows, he _knows_ where Yamato was going with that, and then Yamato remembers too, and he lets out a little shriek of indignation, batting away Taichi's hands as he jerks back. Taichi acquiesces easily, the smirk never leaving. 

"Exactly who is supposed to be the slave here?" Yamato huffs in aggravation, or at least tries to. He's still a little out of breath from nearly coming in his boxers just from a damn _handjob_. 

"What, am I not pleasing you enough, _master_?" Taichi asks, false innocence in his voice, and that pouty little expression is back on his face, batting his eyes demurely, and damned if Yamato doesn't nearly blow his load then and there. He's never given much thought to kink before, never gotten off on the idea of a sex slave, but Taichi's rapidly changing that. 

"Fuck," he breathes out lowly, and swallows, hard. He barely even notices the sting of pain from his still somewhat sore throat. He stares at Taichi, stares into those warm brown eyes, and even though Taichi's face is a perfect picture of submission at the moment, there's still that knowing amusement lurking in the depths, the one that says despite his words, _he's_ in control, and he's going to do as he damn well pleases to Yamato. 

Well, fuck that. Yamato's not going to stand for it. He jerks upright, too suddenly for Taichi to react, and then he's got his hands on Taichi's chest, pushing him back, down into the bed. Before Taichi can even open his mouth to protest Yamato's straddling him, leaning down to claim his mouth in a bruising kiss. Taichi's already spent two days around him, he'll either get sick or not, one kiss won't make that much difference. 

"Did I do something wrong, master?" Taichi asks, a little breathlessly, once they break apart, gazing up at him, and Yamato hisses out another breath, simultaneously wishing Taichi would stop calling him that and feeling more turned on by it than he ever has by anything else in his life. 

"Dammit, Taichi," he mumbles under his breath, but they're so close that of course Taichi hears him anyway. 

"Please, master, if I've done something wrong, tell me so that I might fix it and please you instead," Taichi murmurs to him, lowering his eyes in deference. 

Yamato manages to hold himself back from moaning—barely. He has no idea where this is coming from, and as much as he's loving it, he's not sure they're ready to dive into the realm of kink just yet. "Taichi," he says. 

"Yes, master?" Taichi reaches up to graze a thumb lightly over one nipple, back and forth, a featherlight touch barely brushing it each time. 

"Fuck, no, Taichi— _stop_ for a minute. Including calling me... _that_." 

Taichi drops his hand and looks up at him, all traces of servility gone. "Too much?" 

"I don't know, not exactly... maybe a little, at least right now. Aren't there supposed to be safe words, and rules for this kind of thing?" Yamato asks helplessly. 

"We could make some?" 

Taichi's looking at him with a hopeful smile, and it _is_ tempting, because he can't believe how hot it actually was to have Taichi call him that, but he's just not sure still, it's new and weirding him out some, and there's the fact that he's also sick—it's not too bad, but he's feeling it just enough for it to be annoying. "Can I have some time to think about it?" he finally asks. "And maybe we can try it some other time?" 

"Sure... master." Taichi smirks, but Yamato rolls his eyes, refusing to let it get to him, and steadfastly ignores the interested twitch his dick gives at the word. Instead he shuts Taichi up with another kiss, and then rolls his hips, grinding their dicks together. The action elicits a quick gasp from Taichi, and Yamato grins smugly at him. 

It's his turn to have a little fun, and hopefully drive Taichi crazy in the process while he's at it. He already can't wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Between this and Unequivocal, I've used half the names of the main Persona 3 characters for some of my minor characters (Akihito, Yukari, and Junpei)... I swear this was a coincidence.
> 
> Also, I loathe text speak with the fire of a thousand suns, and can't really bring myself to make any of the characters truly use it. Sorry.


	9. Still I'm With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started listening to some of Wada Kouji's digimon songs to try and get myself back in the mood of writing this, and instead just wound up crying over the fact that Wada Kouji is dead. Whoops. His death still breaks my heart so much, his music and this show were such a huge part of my teen years ): But I got the chapter finished anyways, so hopefully please enjoy~
> 
> Oh, and if you watch Tri, I've thrown Meiko in this fic. But she's just here as a normal character, nothing special about her. I was just being lazy and tired of thinking up new characters, sorry.

"I've gone down the class list alphabetically and assigned you all numbers from one to five—each number is a group for this project! Go ahead and find your group now! Every group should have five to six members. And keep in mind, you may _not_ change your group!" Dr. Saito calls over the sudden bedlam that is students talking and laughing and yelling out names and numbers.

Yamato sighs; he's not really looking forward to a group project. They rarely ever turn out as well as teachers want them to. Still, at least he's somehow been lucky enough to wind up with Taichi in his group. "You wanna find our other group members?" he asks, turning to him. 

Taichi shrugs. "Might as well." 

Sora makes a face at them both; she's in group three, while they're in five. "You guys are lucky to be together." 

"Sorry," Taichi says, not sounding sympathetic in the least. She sticks her tongue out at him before going off to find her own group. Taichi raises his voice. "Group five over here! Ishida Yamato and Yagami Taichi!" 

The rest of their group eventually drifts over, and they all introduce themselves after pulling out seats and getting settled at the table. The tables in the room are long and rectangular, and somehow the guys wind up on one side, with the girls opposite them. 

"I'm Lucas Weston," says the only other guy after both Yamato and Taichi have introduced themselves. He automatically holds out a hand for them to shake, and then pulls it back before either of them can take it, a faint pink flush overtaking his light brown skin. "Sorry, habit. I'm an exchange student from America." 

"Hey, we have a friend that lives in America!" Taichi exclaims. "Tachikawa Mimi, do you know her?" 

"Taichi..." Yamato says, shaking his head. "That's like him asking if we know someone in Shikoku, when we don't even know everyone in Tokyo..." 

"Ah, no," Lucas says, his green eyes brightening in amusement. "Yamato's right, America is a big place. Sorry." 

Taichi waves it away, embarrassed but doing his best to seem unconcerned. "You never know," he says defensively, and Yamato snorts. 

"Mochizuki Meiko," says the girl across from Yamato. She's soft-spoken, and seems shy, shoving her glasses up on her nose as a pale blush spreads across her cheeks. She ducks her head once she's introduced herself, letting her curtain of long black hair hide her face. 

"Tomoyo," says the girl next to her. "But you can call me Tomo," she adds with a giggle. She's looking directly at Yamato with bright blue eyes as she says it, casually flipping obviously dyed golden blond hair behind her shoulder. Her actions make Yamato uncomfortable, and he's all too aware of Taichi tensing next to him. 

"Chihiro," the last girl says lazily, dark brown eyes glancing briefly around at them all before returning their focus to the fingernails she's picking at. She seems disinterested, and Yamato gets the feeling she won't be much help with this project. 

"So, anyone have any ideas for this project? Such as which one we should do?" Taichi asks, looking around at them. 

Lucas shrugs. "This seems like a project we'd do back in elementary school... I mean, putting together a newspaper?" 

"It's a grade," Yamato tells him. "And it's not another boring essay to write. Besides, that's only one of the options." 

"I don't think the newspaper is a bad idea," Meiko says quietly. "We could do the Meiji Era, and newspaper articles would be an easy way to present information on how everything is changing." She blushes once more when she realises everyone is looking at her, and quickly bows her head again. 

"I'm fine with it," Taichi says. "It seems easy enough." 

"Me too," Yamato agrees. "It'll be easy to divide up the work that way, too." 

"Agreed!" Tomo quickly chimes in with another giggle. She flashes Yamato a smile, which he returns awkwardly. "Good thinking." 

"Anyone not agree?" Lucas asks, and no one speaks. "Okay, I guess we're settled then," he says, looking around at everyone. "Dr. Saito said he'll give us time at the beginning of next class with our groups, so we'll just figure out more stuff then." 

Everyone nods, and just in time, for at the front of their room their professor dismisses the class. 

* * *

"You were jealous today," Yamato says evenly. Their other class let out early, and they've stopped by his apartment before they have to go back to Odaiba. Currently Taichi's sprawled out on the sofa, his pants unzipped and halfway around his knees, his dick in Yamato's hands while he kneels down on the carpet in front of Taichi. 

Taichi raises an eyebrow. "You want to do this _now_?" 

"Seemed like a good way to guarantee you'll remember it," Yamato says, shrugging. 

Taichi just shakes his head, though silently he's conceding that his boyfriend has a point. "Fine, I was jealous," he says. "That girl in our group was flirting with you." 

"Girls are always going to flirt with me." 

"I know that!" Taichi says, and then moans as Yamato swallows him down. "Oh hell... Yamato... I know th-they are—" it's really hard to keep talking and thinking about his words when Yamato's humming, the vibrations from his throat thrumming through his shaft "—I-I can't just turn my feelings off. But—oh fuck—" Yamato's twirling his tongue all around the head now, and he's reached his hand up to play with Taichi's nipples through his shirt, tugging at them, tweaking them hard, and it sends twinges of arousal shooting straight to his dick, making him grow even harder. Yamato's only been at it for a couple of minutes, but he already feels embarrassingly close to the edge. 

"Oh, please don't stop," he moans, threading his fingers through Yamato's hair and clenching. He tosses his head back, his whole body tensing up, his balls drawing up closer to his body as his orgasm approaches, it all feels so amazing, so damned good and _why don't they do this more often_. "Yes—fuck—" 

Maddeningly, Yamato pulls back just then, yanking his hair away from Taichi's hand as he lets Taichi's dick slip out of his mouth. 

"No!" Taichi howls in frustration, feeling his orgasm ebbing away. "Why'd you stop?" 

"I don't want a repeat of last time," Yamato says, and it takes Taichi a moment of confusion to realise he's not talking about sex, but the issue of jealousy still. He groans, letting his head sink further against the back of the sofa. "I'm serious," Yamato adds. 

Taichi sighs. "I know. I'm trying. But even if I was jealous, I didn't take it out on you. I don't ever want to do that again." 

"I can't go through something like that a second time." 

"You won't." 

"We're good then?" 

"Yes!" Taichi says in exasperation, lifting his head up just to thud it back against the sofa again. "We're great! Now can you _please_ let me come?" he begs, thrusting his hips slightly in desperation. 

Yamato smirks, waggling his eyebrows at Taichi. "I don't know, do you deserve to come?" He reaches down and swipes a finger across the tip, making Taichi jerk, then sucks the finger into his mouth lewdly, tasting the precum there. 

"Yes!" Taichi nearly sobs in frustration, watching Yamato suck on his finger the way he should be sucking on his boyfriend's dick. He thrusts his hips up again, trying to entice Yamato, needing some kind of friction, just any contact really. "Don't be such a fucking tease, Ishida!" 

Yamato grins, taking his finger back out of his mouth with a small 'pop!' of air. "But teasing's so much more fun on this end," he says, but then he seems to have mercy on Taichi anyway, for he finally lowers his head and sucks him down again, taking the whole length in, letting the tip bump against the back of his throat, gagging slightly. 

It doesn't take long after that, and Taichi comes suddenly with a shout, shooting down Yamato's throat. Yamato's apparently not expecting it that fast, and isn't ready for it—he chokes, and begins to cough as some of it spills out of his mouth, trailing down his chin and dripping down onto the carpet below. 

"Oh fuck, sorry, sorry, I should have warned you, I didn't mean to," Taichi babbles as he shudders through the flood of pleasure. He tries to pull away, not wanting to choke Yamato anymore, but Yamato won't let him, so Taichi stays still, until finally his balls are empty and his dick's starting to soften. 

"I'm sorry," he says again as he tucks himself back into his jeans. 

Yamato waves it away. "'s fine, didn't realise you were that close." He climbs to his feet, quickly fetching a towel to clean the mess on the carpet. 

"Yamato," Taichi says, getting to his feet, and waits until he's looking up at him to speak again. "I meant it," he says seriously. 

"I know you did," Yamato tells him as he stands again. "I believe you. I believe _in_ you." He tosses the towel back towards the hallway, and then leans in to give Taichi a quick kiss. "Now come on, let's get to Odaiba." 

* * *

"You've got fifteen minutes to meet with your group," Dr. Saito says, and immediately the room becomes chaos as students start swapping seats and calling out to their group members. 

"Hi," Lucas greets both Yamato and Taichi as he pulls out a chair. He runs a hand through coiffured ash brown hair and gives them an easy smile. The girls quickly find them, and they all begin to exchange contact information. 

"Here's my number!" Tomo says, passing a scrap of paper to Yamato as she flashes her dimples and perfect white teeth at him. 

He takes it from her with an uncertain smile and opens it up, dreading what he might find written inside, and hoping it's not a request for a date or anything. Thankfully, it is just her number, though she's signed her name in English and drew the two 'o' letters in the shape of hearts. He types the number into his phone and tries to ignore everything else. 

"What time should we meet up to work on this?" Meiko asks softly. 

"We'll have to compare schedules and find a time everyone's free," Lucas answers. "We don't have enough time to do it now, will everyone be able to text tomorrow?" 

"I can in the afternoon," Yamato says. 

Taichi nods. "Me too." 

"I should be able to," Meiko says. 

Tomo shrugs. "Sure." 

"Chihiro?" Taichi asks, and the girl looks up at him after a moment, a blank look on her face. 

"What?" she asks, and Taichi repeats Lucas' question for her. "Oh. Yeah, sure." 

"Okay, class! Group meetings are over! Everybody back to their seats!" Dr. Saito calls out over the din in the room, clapping his hands together. 

"We'll text then," Lucas says quickly as they all begin to disperse back to their seats. 

As their professor begins to go over the material for the day's lesson, Taichi reaches out and grabs the slip of paper that Tomo had written her number on and Yamato had set aside. He looks at it impassively, and then shakes his head and crumples it up in his hand. Beside him, Yamato tenses, half-expecting a return of the irrational, jealous Taichi, but Taichi simply sets the paper back down and begins to take notes on the lecture. Sora, who's at Yamato's right once more, looks at both of them curiously, pointedly eyeing the piece of paper. Yamato rolls his eyes, mouthing 'it's nothing,' at her. 

Thankfully, she leaves it alone, and he begins to take his own notes. He's glad Taichi seems to be handling this girl well so far, though he hates that his trust in Taichi was shaken this much. If Taichi _had_ decided to repeat his behaviour of last time, Yamato may very well have broken up with him, as much as the idea makes him want to curl up into a little ball and cry for days. But he knows he can't go through something like that with Taichi again. If nothing else, he owes it to Naoki to take care of himself so that he can care for his son, and he had definitely not been taking care of himself during that horrible time with his boyfriend. Not that he can imagine doing much better with a breakup, but at least with that he wouldn't have such a horrible cloud of _uncertainty_ hanging over his head. 

Sora's elbow jabs him sharply in the side, and he scowls at her for a second, then realises he's completely quit taking notes or paying any attention to their professor. He offers her a sheepish smile then, and forcibly shoves all thoughts of Taichi out of his head as he focuses once more on the lecture. 

Later, as they're walking to their biology class, Taichi glances at him. "I meant what I said," he tells Yamato quietly. 

Yamato gives him a confused look, having been yanked out of his thoughts. He wonders if he missed something, or if Taichi started a conversation in the middle. "Which is...?" 

"I'm not going to take any jealousy out on you again." 

Oh. He should have known that's what it was about. It seems like neither of them can truly trust in the other on this issue, not that Yamato's surprised by it. Their relationship had taken a serious hit with Taichi's behaviour. "I didn't say you were." 

"You were worried about it for a moment, in class earlier." 

"Of course I was. I told you, I can't go through something like that again." 

"It's not easy, to just turn those feelings off. But when I start feeling jealous, I just try to remind myself that it's me you chose to be with. It's still hard, though." 

"Taichi." Yamato stops walking for a moment, barely remembering to give an apologetic glance to the guy that ran into him with his abrupt halt. "I don't expect you to just stop being jealous," he says seriously. "At least not right away. My concern is in how you handle it. As long as you're working on it and keeping it in control, we're good. But just like you can't immediately stop being jealous, I can't immediately stop being worried about it. We've both got some trust to build back up. Okay?" 

Taichi sighs out a breath, and casts a rueful smile at Yamato as they start walking again. "Okay," he says. "You're right." 

Yamato smirks. "Aren't I always?" 

Taichi rolls his eyes as he pulls open the door to their building, gesturing magnanimously for Yamato to go first. "Be careful your giant ego doesn't get stuck trying to go through the door, Ishida." 

Yamato just laughs. 

* * *

It doesn't take long for their history group to realise that meeting on weekdays isn't going to work out for them. None of them have any free periods of time that line up well, and no one wants to meet later in the evening. 

_What about the weekends then? Maybe tomorrow? We have to meet sometime_ , Lucas sends. 

_I'm not sure. I have a part-time job, I work from 12-5 tomorrow_ , Meiko texts. 

_Can you get someone to cover your shift?_

_Weekends might be difficult for me as well, especially tomorrow_ , Yamato sends to the group, though he doesn't offer an explanation. He doesn't see the need for his classmates to know about his son. Too many people judge him when he's out with Naoki, he doesn't want to invite more of it by spreading his personal business around. It's a miracle he's managed to keep it on the down-low considering the band's rising popularity, although Daichi's been a big help with that. After Yamato threatened a few more times to snap Daichi's arm in two if he so much as saw Naoki mentioned, at any rate. 

_I can try. I'll let you guys know._

_How about everyone else?_

_Tomorrow works for me! <3_

_Sure, whatever._

_I can be there._

_Yamato, why are weekends difficult? Is there any way you can make it to the library tomorrow? We need to get this project done._

Yamato sighs as he reads Lucas' last text. He's _not_ going to explain about Naoki, but they really do need to meet up. It's clear they're not going to be given time in class to work on their project, and weekdays are seemingly out of the question. He knows one of his parents will probably watch Naoki, he just hates having to ask last minute. If he's lucky, Meiko won't be able to make it tomorrow, and they'll just try for next Saturday, which will give him proper time to arrange for someone to watch Naoki. 

_I'll let you know_ , he replies, and leaves it at that. 

He sets his phone aside and leans back into the sofa, trying to let his stress levels subside while watching his son as he attempts to build with some blocks Yamato had recently bought him. The structure makes no sense, but at least the toddler seems happy, and he's quiet and occupied, which is all Yamato can ask for. It's not long before his thoughts drift to back before Naoki had been born. He'd been so naive then. His parents had kept emphasising how difficult raising a child at his age would be, but then Yamato had thought his only real obstacle would be school. Trying to do school work on little sleep, and finding someone to watch the baby during the day. He hadn't realised that taking care of Naoki would dictate every part of his life, for years to come. 

Sometimes he goes down the old scenarios he'd thought up, when he'd first learned that Megumi was pregnant. He doesn't like to, because he loves Naoki and doesn't regret his choice for a second, but at times like this, when he's made aware of just how much having Naoki at such a young age has affected him, they pop into his head unbidden. How much easier could life have been if he'd let Megumi give the baby up for adoption? He wouldn't have been late for Dr. Kanada's class that first day last term, so the man might never have singled him out and made his life so difficult for a few months. He'd definitely be able to agree to tomorrow's meeting without any worries. All of his band stuff would be easier to handle, if he didn't have to come home and care for a child after an exhausting day of practice or photoshoots, _and_ still worry about homework. 

But then... would he even be in university, if it wasn't for Naoki? He hadn't originally planned to, after all. None of them had. They'd all agreed to focus on their music after high school. Yamato had really only changed his mind because of his son. Life would be so much less stressful if all he had to worry about was making the band successful. Not _easy_ , but at least _easier_. 

And yet, he _still_ remembers the emptiness and sorrow that had gripped his heart at the thought of not having his child in his life. Thinking about it had torn him apart, and the feeling is even worse now that he has Naoki. To not ever have a chance to hear that sweet laugh, or see that beautiful smile, or feel the warmth of that small body snuggling up next to him... it's a hollow ache in his chest worse than anything else he's ever felt. No matter how difficult his life is because of Naoki, he knows every single moment has been worth it. He loves his child with a fierceness unparallelled by anyone else in his life, including Takeru and Taichi, and he knows he'll do and suffer anything just for Naoki's happiness and well-being. Funny how those parenting classes he'd taken had never mentioned that aspect. 

Though Yamato's sure that even if they had, he wouldn't have believed it. Not without experiencing it for himself. 

Naoki's gleeful shout as he destroys all the blocks he'd just built jolts Yamato back to awareness. Huffing out a breath at himself, he shakes off the strange turn his thoughts have taken, and begins to get ready for the lab he's got later in the afternoon. 

* * *

It's when he's just arrived back home with Naoki later that afternoon that his phone chimes with a new text. 

_Someone agreed to cover my shift, so I can be there tomorrow._

Groaning, he rubs at his eyes as he re-reads Meiko's text a second time, somehow hoping the words will change into 'sorry, I can't make it.' He's just going to have to suck it up and call his dad and apologise for asking last minute yet _again_. 

He puts it off until after supper, at least in part because he doesn't want to have to deal with a cranky, hungry toddler if he doesn't feed Naoki at their usual dinner time. Luckily, his dad's amenable to watching his grandson. 

"There's no need to apologise, Yamato, I enjoy getting to spend time with him. And it's only for a few hours, yes? It's not a big deal." 

Yamato sighs. "I just hate feeling like I'm always asking you at the last second." 

His dad lets out a brief laugh. "That's just a big aspect of parenting. You think I wasn't constantly having to find last-minute babysitters for you when work needed me?" 

"I suppose..." he says, though his dad's words don't make him feel any better. He doesn't even know why it's bothering him so much. Perhaps it's lingering guilt left over from the summer, and always having to leave Naoki with someone last-minute because there was yet another unexpected photoshoot, or a magazine wanting an interview, or because he was simply too damn tired to take care of his son. 

"Just because Naoki comes first doesn't mean your schooling isn't important as well," his dad points out. "Bring him by tomorrow, we'll have fun. It's supposed to be a nice day out, maybe I can take him to the park." 

He sighs again, making a face that he's glad his dad can't see. "Yeah, okay," he says. "I'll bring him over around 10:30 or so. Thanks, Dad." 

He hangs up, but doesn't put his phone away, instead shooting off a quick text to his group. _I can be there too._ He glances at the time on the phone before setting it aside, deciding there's enough time for a movie. 

"Naoki," he says, "you wanna watch a movie with me before bed?" If he spends time with his son now, maybe he'll feel a little less guilty when he has to leave him with someone else tomorrow. 

Naoki looks up at him from the playpen, eyes shining. "To'ro?" he asks. 

Yamato winces. He should have seen that one coming. "What about a different movie, baby?" he tries, even though he knows it's pointless. "Something new, something you haven't seen before." 

"To'ro," Naoki pouts, his lower lip beginning to tremble. 

"Okay, okay," Yamato says hastily as he picks up the toddler, wanting to stave off a tantrum. "Totoro it is." If he's lucky, watching the movie for the hundredth time will bore the both of them enough to put them right to sleep as soon as it's over. 

* * *

" _There_ you are," Lucas says, and Yamato doesn't miss the annoyance in his tone. He slides into an empty seat across from Taichi, next to Meiko, and sets his bag down. 

"Sorry I'm late," he offers, and in retrospect he realises he probably could have texted. He'd just been so frazzled though, not expecting Naoki's meltdown over realising that Yamato was leaving him alone with grandpa and not staying. He'd done more of a number on his kid over the summer than he'd known, apparently. He grimaces at the guilt that thought causes, but pushes it away. He can berate himself over it later, right now he's got a project to focus on. 

"We missed you, Yamato! We can't do this project without you," Tomo tells him, giggling slightly. He gives her a fleeting, awkward smile, which is the best he can manage with the mood he's in. 

"By half an hour," Lucas points out, not willing to let it go so easily. "We weren't sure you were coming. You could have called. Or sent a text, if you were too busy to call." 

"I'd always accept a call from you," Tomo says sweetly, still attempting to flirt, and Yamato tries not to make a face at her smile. He cuts his eyes over to Taichi, hoping his boyfriend's jealousy isn't going to flare up again. The recollection of Taichi's past behaviour makes his already sour mood drop even further. He doesn't know how he's going to get through the next couple of hours without wanting to kill somebody eventually. 

"I'm sorry," he repeats calmly, pulling out his laptop and trying to ignore his rising irritation with his group. "It won't happen again. So, where are we at so far?" 

"That's it?" Lucas demands, raising his eyebrows in disbelief as he half-rises from his chair, placing his hands on the table and leaning towards Yamato. Despite not standing at his full height, Lucas still towers over him, and the deliberate attempt at intimidation furthers Yamato's ire. "You make us wait and wonder if you're coming and you're not even going to give us a reason?" 

"He doesn't owe you an explanation, Weston," Taichi cuts in sharply. "Why don't you just leave him alone?" 

"And I don't need you to defend me, Yagami," Yamato snaps, finally letting his irritation get the best of him. "Why don't you stay out of my business?" 

Taichi opens his mouth to respond, then abruptly shuts it, his face tightening. "Fine," he says curtly, after a moment's awkward silence. 

After another moment of even more awkward silence, Meiko coughs quietly, and then slides her laptop closer to Yamato. "Here's what we've got so far. Since you weren't here, we just picked out a topic for you to research," she says softly, pulling up a document, and Yamato focuses on it gratefully. 

They spend the next two hours working quietly, conferring with each other when necessary but largely doing their own research, with the exception of Chihiro, who spends most of her time texting on her phone and ignoring the rest of them. Tomo attempts to flirt some more with Yamato, but quickly gives up at his lack of response. Tension lingers uncomfortably in the air, putting many nerves on edge and causing everyone to hunker down in their seats. Taichi refuses to speak to Yamato, which he gladly returns in kind, and Taichi takes out his own irritation with the situation by butting heads with Lucas more than once on how things should be done. Yamato's pretty sure Taichi picks the first two arguments on purpose, but the third time unfortunately gets started when Tomo innocently asks how many articles they should be writing. The argument quickly gets heated, and Yamato can feel a headache coming on. He should have just ditched the group and stayed home with Naoki after all. 

"If we're going to do the newspaper option, then it needs to look like an actual newspaper," Lucas says in exasperation. "With several columns of articles per page, and a few ad inserts just to make it look authentic." 

"We don't need ads," Taichi repeats stubbornly, glaring at the teen next to him. "That's not part of the project. And if we do several articles per page, we'll all have to write a million articles each. No one has time for that!" 

"Look, they're not going to be full-sized articles like in a magazine or something. They'll be just like in an actual newspaper, maybe three or four hundred words each.We could each do four articles and put six articles to a page. That's about the same word amount for one essay. You can't tell me you don't have time for that," Lucas argues back hotly. "And then half of us can design a few ads while the rest work on the actual layout of the paper." 

"Who made you in charge of this group anyway," Taichi grumbles. Normally it would make Yamato grin, because he can recognise when Taichi's lost an argument and stubbornly refuses to admit defeat, but in his current aggravation, he merely rolls his eyes at how difficult Taichi is making things. He should probably interject, try and smooth things over. But since he's not talking to Taichi, he ignores his boyfriend and continues to work, rubbing absently at his forehead occasionally while the two of them bicker back and forth. 

"I just want a good grade on this project! I took out a huge loan to be able to come to Japan, I don't want it to be a waste because someone else is too lazy to put in more than a half-assed effort!" Lucas finally exclaims, his voice rising in anger. 

At that, Taichi slams his hand down hard on the table, making not only the rest of their group look up, but several people at surrounding tables as well. "My apologies for having a life other than just school work," he snarks, and Yamato smirks, privately impressed at how much Taichi had sounded like him just then. 

"M-maybe we should take a vote," Meiko suggests, tucking her hair nervously behind her ears. 

"Fine. All in favour of Taichi's idea, raise your hand," Lucas says tersely. Yamato's surprised when Chihiro raises her hand. He's been sure this whole time that she hadn't been paying the slightest bit of attention to them. However, none of them is surprised when the only other person to lift their hand is Taichi. 

"Now my idea," and the rest of the hands raise, though Tomo's only goes up after a quick glance to be certain that Yamato's does. "Four to one, Taichi, sorry. Looks like we're doing it my way." 

Taichi glares in lieu of a reply. 

After another half hour of nearly palpable tension, Yamato decides he's had enough. "I think I'm gonna head out," he says, closing the lid of his computer. "I missed lunch, and I'm starving." He hadn't, but it seems like a reasonable enough excuse for him to leave. And Naoki probably misses him like crazy by now. 

"Food sounds like a great idea!" Tomo says excitedly, looking up at him. "You wanna go grab something together? There's this great little café down the street that just opened up." 

"Ah, no thank you. I, um, have other plans already." He's learned the hard way by now not to offer an abstract 'some other time,' as girls will take that seriously. He ignores the way her face falls as he begins to pack up. 

"We'll catch up in class," Lucas says. "And we're likely meeting the same time next Saturday. Try not to be late again." 

Yamato counts to ten in his head before responding, proud when his voice comes out even. "I won't be." He slings his bag over his shoulder, giving a brief wave to Meiko before heading out. He doesn't bother to say bye to Taichi. 

* * *

The long ride to Odaiba gives him time to calm down and think, and by the time he gets to his dad's apartment his mood has improved considerably, though he can feel faint annoyance with Taichi still persisting. It's brushed aside easily enough, however, by the toddler that makes a dive bomb at his legs the moment he steps through the door. "Daddy!" 

"Hi baby," he says, ruffling the little boy's hair. He leans down and untangles Naoki from his legs before picking him up, grunting a bit at the added weight. "Thank you so much for watching him," he tells his dad, who's busy gathering up Naoki's things and packing them back into the diaper bag. "I think we're doing this again next Saturday, can you watch him or should I ask Mom?" 

"You'll have to ask your mom. I've got some thing for work. You wanna talk about what's bothering you?" 

Yamato blinks, caught off guard. "What?" He shakes his head. "I mean, I'm fine." 

His dad gives him a polite look of disbelief. 

Yamato sighs, wishing his dad hadn't learned to read him so well at times. Or perhaps he's just become more transparent with his emotions as he's gotten older. "I got into a fight with Taichi," he admits. "If it can even be called a fight." He shifts Naoki to one arm and scratches at his head. "Lucas, the other guy in our group, was mad I was late and was giving me a hard time, so Taichi told him to lay off me, and I got annoyed and told Taichi to stay out of my business, and we didn't speak to each other the rest of the time..." 

Hearing it out loud makes him realise how ridiculous it all is, and he can't blame his dad for the raised eyebrow he gets as a response. Yamato sighs again, slumping down a bit, all his annoyance with Taichi gone. "I know, I overreacted." 

"Perhaps a bit," his dad agrees. 

"I was just stressed out from this one's tantrum," he says, poking his fingers into Naoki's side and tickling him, smiling when his son begins to giggle and squirm. "And then Lucas harping on me didn't help. I'll apologise." 

"You're not eleven anymore, Yamato," his dad says, amusement colouring his tone. "I'm not going to punish you and force you to apologise for a fight with your best friend." 

"I know," he says, giving a crooked smile. "But I still should. I didn't think a relationship could be so difficult." 

His dad laughs at that, genuine mirth lighting up his eyes. "You and Taichi have been clashing non-stop since you were kids. Why did you a think a relationship would be any different?" 

"Optimism?" he offers. "Though at least we don't resolve our differences with our fists anymore..." 

His dad's eyes widen slightly, a scandalised look crossing his face, though there's still a hint of laughter in his voice when he speaks. " _Yamato_." 

It takes him a moment to catch on, to realise the way his dad took his statement. When he gets it, his face turns bright red, and he reaches out for Naoki's bag, suddenly flustered. "That's—that isn't what I meant!" he stammers. "Sometimes we might but that's not what I— _no_ , no we don't, I just meant it's good we can handle fights more like adults... but not like _that_ —" His dad's laughing at him by this point, so he just moans in defeat and goes quiet, knowing anything he says at the moment is going to come out sounding wrong. 

"Hey, I caught you in the act once, remember? I'm well aware of what you and Taichi get up to." 

" _Dad_ ," he groans, his turn to be scandalised. "Are you still not going to let that go? It's been years!" 

"As long as those images have to be seared into my brain, I'm never letting it go." 

"Oh my _god_ ," he says, voice muffled as he briefly buries his head into Naoki's bag. He waits until the burning heat in his cheeks has reduced some before looking back up and changes the subject. He doesn't want to think about his dad and his sex life in the same thoughts anymore. The memory of getting caught is still traumatising enough, he doesn't need any super embarrassing conversations to add to it. "Thanks again for watching Naoki, but I need to go now, Mom and Takeru are expecting us for dinner." 

His dad waves him off. "I keep telling you, it's never a problem. Go on, go have dinner. Tell them hi for me." 

He's surprised at his dad's choice of words, but wisely doesn't remark on it. He remembers how weird his parents had acted with each other during Naoki's birthday celebration, awkward and stiff as they tried to be the family they hadn't been in years. "Will do," he says instead. 

* * *

Dinner at his mom's turns out to be weird as well, at least for a brief moment. It starts off okay—his mom hugs him, and then coos over Naoki a little while he catches up with Takeru. But once they're all settled around the table ready to eat, he remembers his dad's simple request, and that's where things turn strange. 

"Oh yeah, Dad says hi to you both." 

"Oh, he did?" his mom asks, and he tries not to think about the fact that she looks _pleased_. "Tell him hello from me when you see him again, would you? How is he doing lately?" 

"Um..." Yamato frowns, and hesitates, looking over at Takeru, relieved to see his brother's looking just as bewildered as he feels. He knows his parents have never hated each other, that their divorce was more due to the stress and fights caused by his dad's workaholic attitude, and that his dad, at least, has always maintained a soft spot for the ex-wife he never entirely stopped loving, but in Yamato's fifteen years of living since his parents split, he can't recall them ever once really genuinely asking after each other. When he was younger it seemed as if they both went out of their way to even avoid mentioning each other, as if the thought of knowing the other existed was too painful. And though that had faded somewhat by the time he hit his teen years, his parents' mentions of each other remained largely impersonal, or focused around him and Takeru. So to have his mom ask now is just... well, _weird_. It feels rude to think that way, but there's no better word for it. "He's fine? He, uh, he doesn't seem to work as much these days, he's been taking more weekends off." He really has no idea what to say to his mom about his dad, and Takeru merely offers an uncertain shrug when he turns a pleading look onto him. 

"That's wonderful, honey," his mom says, a warm smile spreading across her face. "I'm glad your dad's taking the time to relax these days." 

"Yeah, me too," he mumbles, and quickly shoves a large bite of mackerel into his mouth, hoping to forestall any more conversation about his dad. Thankfully, Takeru takes the brief lull to talk about the writing club he's joined this year—and since when did his brother have any interest in writing?—but truthfully he doesn't really care what his brother talks about, as long as it keeps his mom from acting any more weird about his dad. 

And it does—until he brings up the idea of his mom watching Naoki next weekend. 

"It should only be for a few hours," he explains. "I've got this group project for one of my classes, and everyone only has time to meet on the weekends... I tried to ask Dad, but he said something about a work thing." 

His mom frowns. "I thought you said he was taking weekends off. You should tell your dad he shouldn't work so hard, he needs to take it easier these days." 

"Ah... I'll do that," he says uncertainly, caught off guard once more by his mom's unexpected concern. Or perhaps it's old, leftover feelings from their divorce, he can't really be sure. Either way, he doesn't want to discuss it. "So will you be able to? I can always ask Taichi's mom again if you can't." 

"I can watch him, honey. It's not a problem. We'll have a lot of fun together, won't we, baby?" she says, directing the last sentence towards Naoki. He's sitting on the floor of the living room, cheerfully babbling to both his stuffed Totoro plush and his favourite stuffed bunny, but he looks up and grins when Natsuko speaks. 

"Have fun," he repeats back happily. 

And as weird as the evening has gotten at points, seeing the delighted smile that lights up his mom's face at her grandson's response makes it all worth it for Yamato. 

* * *

It's much later in the evening when Yamato finally has a chance to text Taichi. He waits until he's given Naoki his bath and gotten him settled down into his bed before he pulls out his phone. He dithers for a moment on exactly what to say, before finally deciding he should just keep it simple. If Taichi wants more of an explanation after his apology, he'll give one then. 

_I'm sorry for today. I overreacted._

He hits send and then closes his phone, meaning to ignore it, but he finds that he can't help but to stare at it instead, waiting for the small chime that will indicate a response text. After a few minutes, it still hasn't come. A sinking feeling starts in the pit of his stomach, and he stares more intensely at his phone, willing it to chime. After another few minutes of silence, Yamato angrily tosses it down on his bed, resisting the sudden urge to cry. Taichi must be really mad at him. Why does he always have to let his temper get the best of him and fuck things up? There's no reason he should have snapped at Taichi that afternoon, especially since Taichi was just trying to help him out. 

Taking a deep breath, he lets it out slowly and wills himself to calm down. _Just because Taichi hasn't responded doesn't mean he's mad_ , he tells himself. _He could just be busy._ He just needs to distract himself. Find something to keep his attention away from his phone. He heads into the bathroom, deciding that getting himself ready for bed will have to serve as a good enough distraction, even though it's mindless tasks that leave him plenty of time to think. He does his best to not think about Taichi though, forcing himself to think about other things instead. He winds up being half successful, though his heart still aches when he climbs into bed and checks his phone to see no new messages. 

"Forget about it," he mumbles to himself, setting his phone on the nightstand. He'll just have to try and apologise again tomorrow. He rolls over and closes his eyes, intending to sleep, but the sudden chime of his phone has him rolling back over and snatching his phone up. "Terrible timing, Taichi..." Still, he hastily flips open his phone and pulls up the message, hoping it's not Taichi yelling at him. 

_It's okay. Don't worry about it._

He sighs, smiling in relief as he reads it a second time. Taichi's not mad at him. He sets his phone down again and rolls over once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was seventeen, my brother babysat our cousins (six and four) at our house for the summer, and they spent every day watching our old VHS copy of _Peter and the Wolf_ over and over for a couple hours. That poor tape was probably shot to hell by the end of the summer, it was rewound so much. Anyways, it's one of my few real life experiences with kids I'm throwing in here. I can relate to Yamato's suffering of having to always watch _Tonari no Totoro_ , haha.
> 
> Also, I want to take a moment to ramble about something, but it's not necessary to read (pfft, like any of my notes really are) so feel free to ignore it. So all my life, I've had this... condition? Issue? I don't know what to call it, because it's never been a huge problem or big deal for me, but I can't visualise things in my head the way most people apparently can. I first realised this when I was in third grade and our teacher told the class to close our eyes and picture something in our mind, and after a few minutes she asked if everyone had a picture. My classmates all said yes while I was still struggling to figure out how to make a picture in my mind. I've never actually met anyone else with this condition/issue/problem/whatever, at least that I'm aware of, and apparently they only started really researching it and coined a term for it a couple of years ago (they're tentatively calling it aphantasia—how cool sounding is that?).
> 
> So, since I can't bring up pictures in my mind, as a writer vivid description and imagery has always been something I've struggled massively with. Most especially when it comes to describing characters and locations. You know, most people will read a story and get a mental image of how a character looks in their head—I don't. And it's just a normal thing for me. But it means that it often doesn't occur to me to describe my own original characters. For example, when I first created Yamato's bandmates? I made them up in 2001. I didn't start trying to pin down detailed, physical descriptions for them until around _2012_. Because it just never occured to me until then. Before then I'd at best vaguely mention hair or eye colour, and it wasn't even consistent. Kenji had a couple of different eye colours before I finally settled on hazel for him when writing this fic.
> 
>  _Anyways_ , my point in mentioning this is that, even now, I still tend to forget that I should probably describe my original characters, at least the ones that have regular or semi-regular appearances. And when I do remember and go back and add something in, I have a hard time coming up with more than basic descriptors. Green eyes, black hair, etc. I don't really think in terms beyond that because I don't take much notice of these things in my own life (I genuinely couldn't tell you the eye colour of anyone in my life, because I have no mental image of my friends/family and just never notice it). So I've spent a lot of time with this fic trying to figure out what my own characters look like, and doing google image searches to find visual representations I can stick in the character profile sheets I made and have something to refer to. But even then descriptions are still something I struggle with, so this is my long-winded way of sort of apologising that my visual imagery in this fic is probably a bit lacking, given that there's already so much else to write and describing people and places so rarely occurs to me. I'm honestly not sure how much of a problem this might to be others—if I don't describe characters, do other people still get mental pictures of them? Do they just make up their own features? Do they just... _not_ form a mental picture somehow? Is it distracting? I have no idea. I've toyed with the idea of just posting the character sheets so I don't have to mess with descriptions, but that feels lazy and I figure people probably wouldn't read them xD
> 
> SO. Basically... if my lack of descriptions are annoying or distracting or whatever else, I'm really sorry! I really do try.


	10. Stay Away

"...and that's all I have so far, but I believe it's a good start!" Daichi says, clapping his hands down on the desk and leaning forward.

"It sounds good to me," Ny says. "Is it agreeable to everybody? Yamato? Ratz?" 

They both nod at him, along with Kenji. Yamato's glad that they finally seem to be working as a team again, even Daichi. He loves the band, and he wants to be a part of it for a long time. He's willing to put up with a lot from Ny over it, but he can't tolerate being treated as if his place in it doesn't matter. Even if they can't always do things exactly the way they'd like, they all deserve a say. If things hadn't improved he may very well have quit, as much as he loathes even considering the idea. 

"Great, great! I'll finalise the details and let you guys know when everything's set up." 

"Thanks, Daichi." Ny smiles at him, and the others start rising, preparing to leave. "Before we go, though, there's one more thing..." 

"What's up?" Kenji asked, plopping back down into his seat. 

"It's something Yamato mentioned to me the other day. What would you guys think about dropping the "teenage" part of our name, and just becoming The Wolves? After all, none of us are going to be teenagers for much longer. Or, if you guys don't like that idea, we could come up with a new name." 

They're all quiet for a moment as they ponder this, and then Ratsuii shrugs. "It makes sense," he says. "To make it just The Wolves, at least. A completely new name might be confusing." 

"I thought the name came from that movie of your dad's," Kenji says, scratching his head in confusion as he looks at Yamato. "Something about a werewolf?" 

" _I Was a Teenage Werewolf_ , yeah," Yamato says. "And we were teenagers at the same time, it seemed fitting." He doesn't mention that Gabumon's evolutions had also been an influencing factor in choosing that name. He still hasn't explained the Digital World to Ratsuii after Sora's slip-up in the restaurant, though he's sure his friend hasn't forgotten it. And to his knowledge, Ny and Kenji don't have any inkling there even is a Digital World. "We're all going to be adults within this next year," he goes on. "I don't know about you guys, but I'll feel silly talking and hearing about the _Teenage_ Wolves when we're in our twenties and thirties." 

"Yeah, but... what if people like us less or something, or don't realise who we are anymore? See, this is why we need a mascot!" 

Yamato rolls his eyes, even as Ny responds. "Plenty of bands change their name during their careers and still do fine, though. Look at TWO-MIX, they changed their name a couple of years ago but they're fine and everyone in Japan still knows who they are." 

"They're also a lot more famous than we are, and they _added_ to their name," Ratsuii points out. "Don't get me wrong, I'm in a favour of a name adjustment, but your example doesn't really hold up..." 

Ny waves his hand around, unconcerned. "Whatever. The point is, there are bands that change their names in some way and it doesn't hurt them. I think we'd be fine if all we did is drop one word from our name. Is there something about it that you're opposed to, Kenji?" 

"Nah guys, it's cool with me." 

"Are you sure?" Yamato asks. "I know you prefer to go with the flow, but this is your band too, you _do_ have a say in what we do." 

Kenji shrugs, flashing a grin at him. "You guys have a point about the name, and as long we don't change it to something completely new and you guys think we'll be fine, then I'm fine with it! It'd also be a prime opportunity to finally make your kid our mascot." 

"Kenji, I swear..." Yamato growls, shoving playfully at him. The sudden unexpected movement makes the other teen's chair tilt sideways, and Kenji lets out a yelp as he scrabbles to stay seated. 

"So we're in agreement to become The Wolves, then?" Ny asks, looking around seriously at all of them. At their nods, he turns his look onto Daichi. "Thoughts?" 

"Oh, we can make it work, definitely," Daichi says, gesturing wildly with his hands. He's never been able to sit still for long, always full of energy and needing to be moving in some way—it annoys Yamato sometimes, but he can't deny that it's been helpful to their band in getting things done. "It's a great move! Good opportunity for some more coverage, a few photoshoots, maybe an interview. Come up with a new logo, we'll get some new merchandise out for it, your fans will eat it up. Don't worry about the details, I'll take care of that." 

"Great, then!" Ny says, smiling broadly. "We'll leave it in your hands. In the meantime, keep us updated on the winter fanclub lives." 

"Of course, of course! Good meeting, guys." Daichi turns his attention to some papers on his desk then, not sparing them another glance, and Yamato knows they're being dismissed. He shakes his head slightly as he gets up and folds his chair. Daichi's personality has always struck Yamato as a little sleazy, and he's definitely more about the money than anything else, but he's good at his job, and Yamato knows they probably never would have made it this far without him, so he can't really complain when the guy does something that rubs him the wrong way. Mentally shrugging at the whole thing, he sets his now folded chair against the wall and heads out to go pick up Naoki from Yuuko's. 

* * *

"How are things with Junpei, Sora? You've been going out for a few weeks now, right?" Taichi asks. The two of them, plus Koushiro and Jou, are all gathered at Yamato's apartment after their classes on Tuesday afternoon. Taichi's at one end of the sofa, with Yamato curled up into his side, halfway in his lap. Koushiro and Jou are squeezed onto the rest of the sofa, while Sora sits on the floor next to the coffee table. Ostensibly they're watching a movie, but so far none of them has paid much attention to what's up on the television screen. 

Sora gets a dreamy look on her face, propping her chin in her hands. "He's great. He's taken me to a bunch of fancy places, including restaurants I could only dream of affording! He might just be the one..." 

"The one?" Yamato gives her an incredulous look, laughing. "You're just smitten with his movie-star looks, and his money. I have to say, I didn't figure you for a gold-digger." 

"Yamato! I am not!" she shrieks, blushing hotly. "Taichi, smack him for me!" Taichi gives a gentle tap to Yamato's shoulder, and Yamato shoves at him in return. "He's really sweet. And what's wrong with wanting stability? Honestly..." She mutters the last word under her breath, sounding aggrieved. 

"Okay, okay, I'm just teasing..." he says, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. "What about you two? Either of you found anyone yet?" he asks, directing his attention towards his other two friends that have so far remained quiet. 

Jou makes a face. "Oh man, when do I have the time, I've got both university and a part-time job. I'm always studying or working." 

The rest of them give him a sympathetic look, and then Taichi pokes Koushiro in the side. "Well? You got any hot girlfriends you've been hiding from us?" he teases. 

Koushiro immediately turns a deep red, and Taichi's eyes widen in surprise for a moment, before he laughs. "You do!" he says gleefully. "Who is it? Come on, details!" 

"I do not," Koushiro protests, trying to turn his face away from them, but Sora can still see him from her position, and she snickers when she looks at his face. 

"Your face is turning even darker, Koushiro! Do we know her?" she asks, grinning. 

Thankfully, Koushiro is saved from any more embarrassment by Naoki running out of his bedroom. "Daddy p'ay?" he asks, his high-pitched voice hopeful as he looks at Yamato. 

Yamato holds back a sigh, and climbs off Taichi's lap. "Be back shortly, guys," he says, grabbing Naoki's hand and leading him back to the bedroom. He knows telling his son that he'd agreed to play quietly in the bedroom while Yamato's friends were over isn't going to do much good, but he tries anyway. "Naoki, we talked about this earlier, remember? I'll play with you after I play with my other friends, and in the meantime you play quietly in your room." 

Naoki looks at him, a pout on his face. "No," he says. "P'ay!" 

Yamato purses his lips together in annoyance, feeling frustrated as he tries to think what to do. He wants to hang out with his friends without having to worry about Naoki being underfoot for once. He doesn't want to stay back here right now, playing with Naoki until the kid is satisfied—and he'll feel rude, leaving his friends alone in the living room. On the other hand, he also doesn't want to deal with a tantrum, which Naoki's mood will surely lead to if he doesn't do _something_. After a despairing glance around the room, he decides on a compromise. "How about this," he says, crouching down to be at eye-level. "I'll read you your favourite book, and when I'm finished you play quietly in here some more, and _then_ I will come play with you." 

Naoki stares at him for a moment before breaking into a wide smile. "Guri book read," he says happily. 

"Yep," Yamato says, going over to the bookshelf and pulling out the slim white book. He settles into Naoki's bed, stretching his legs out and propping the pillows up against the wall to lean against. Naoki climbs up there with him, cuddling up into his side as Yamato places the book down on his lap. "Okay," he says, opening up to the first page. He takes a breath and begins to read. "One day, two field mice, Guri and Gura, set off for the woods carrying a big basket. 'My name is Guri. And my name is Gura.'" He always feel silly switching between different high-pitched voices as he speaks for the different characters, but Naoki loves it, always giggling and often imitating after Yamato, clapping his hands in delight. 

He continues to read on, mentally praying that this will be enough to settle Naoki for awhile. "They walk down the path, until lo and behold, in the middle of the path, they see a gigantic..." He pauses a moment for dramatic effect, looking at his son with a smile before flipping the page. 

"Egg!" Naoki shrieks, stabbing a tiny finger down at the illustration of a giant egg. 

"Egg, that's right," Yamato says. He keeps reading, Naoki interjecting at his favourite parts every now and then, until at last they've reached the last line and Yamato's closing the book. 

"Guri?" Naoki asks, which is his way of asking for a repeat read. 

"Tonight," Yamato tells him. "I'll read it to you for bedtime. Right now you have to play quietly in your room. That was the agreement." 

"Yes," he says, a rare word for him—he much prefers 'no.' Yamato will take it though, because Naoki's being agreeable, which is all he wants at the moment. 

Yamato gets up, putting the book where it belongs and then watches for a moment as Naoki drags some toys and stuffed animals out on the floor and begins to play, talking quietly to them. He leaves the toddler to it, partially closing the door and heading back down the hall to the living room. "Sorry," he apologises to his friends and boyfriend. "I had to read him a book so he'd agree to play quietly. Hopefully he'll remain occupied for awhile." 

"It's fine." Taichi smiles at him, while the others nod their agreement. "Come sit back down?" 

Yamato smiles back, and quickly resumes his earlier spot halfway in Taichi's lap. They've started a new movie in his absence, and this time everyone's paying attention. Yamato watches along with them, but half an hour later when he hears little footsteps padding along the hallway, he lets out a quiet groan. Sora pauses the movie just as Naoki reaches them. "Daddy p'ay?" he asks again. 

Yamato gives a fierce but subtle glare to his friends, who all are snickering quietly behind their hands. At least they're not annoyed. He gets up with a sigh, and escorts Naoki back to his room again, though he doesn't read him a story this time. Naoki's clearly not happy with it, but he doesn't throw a tantrum. _Yet_ , Yamato thinks. 

The third time he hears Naoki leaving his room, he buries his head in his hands with a louder groan. "Why me," he mutters as he sits up, his words muffled. Taichi pats him on the back in sympathy. 

"Daddy p'ay?" 

"Naoki..." Yamato says, putting some warning into his voice. 

Immediately the toddler folds his arms across his chest, a mulish look stealing over his face, and Yamato knows a tantrum is likely imminent in the next minute or two. He dreads it—he's so tired of dealing with them already, and he always feels as if he has no clue what he's doing in handling them. "No! Daddy p'ay." 

"We can go early if you need us to leave," Jou offers. 

Yamato shakes his head. "No, if you do that, he'll just think he can do this again next time to get his way." He gets up and brings Naoki to his room yet again and tries to give him a stern lecture, but the entire time the little boy is crossing his arms and crying the word no over and over, and as soon as Yamato turns to leave the words turn into wails, followed quickly by tears and sobbing. "Naoki," Yamato finally says. "If you'll stop crying and be good, I will not only play with you tonight, but all night tomorrow as well. Okay?" 

Naoki looks at him, still crying, an uncertain look on his face. "P'ay, you?" 

"Later tonight _and_ tomorrow night," Yamato reiterates firmly. "I promise." 

When he reclaims his seat on Taichi a couple minutes later, he lets out a frustrated breath. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's gotten into him tonight," he apologises again, but his friends just wave it away, not bothered. 

"Maybe he needs some other kids his age to play with," Jou says, looking over at him earnestly. "Perhaps you could start putting him in daycare." 

"Daycare is an excellent option," Koushiro says, straightening up as he looks around at everyone. Yamato easily recognises the signs of 'lecture mode' in his friend, but he doesn't stop Koushiro. He hasn't given much thought to daycare since Naoki was first born, and he's curious to hear what the other teen has to say. "A well-run daycare provides many benefits. It allows children to be around others of their age, and learn how to interact and socialise with their peers, and other adults as well. It also introduces more structure into their lives, and prepares them for an easier transition to school once they—" 

"Okay, okay," Yamato says, laughing and holding up his hands. "I hadn't thought much about it, but you make good points. I'll look into it. Now, let's get back to this movie while we still have a chance." 

* * *

The next evening Yamato makes good on his promise, and devotes the entire evening to spending time with Naoki. Though his son insists on watching Totoro for the millionth time at one point, they do plenty of other things as well. Sitting on the floor of the living room and hunched over a toddler puzzle, Yamato has to admit it's more relaxing than anything he's done for himself recently. He's so often busy with school, or the band, or Naoki, and even when he's spending time with Taichi or his other friends, he often has those things on his mind—there's always something to worry over. But right now, here with Naoki, all those stresses have melted away to the back of his mind, and the moment is surprisingly peaceful. 

"Here go!" Naoki exclaims with a grin, triumphantly placing a square-shaped piece down before looking up at Yamato and grinning. 

"Good job," Yamato praises him warmly. "Do you know what shape that piece is?" He's been trying to teach the toddler some basic shapes for the past few weeks, but so far Naoki has been slow to pick up on the names. Having no other experience to compare it to, he's not sure if it's normal. 

Naoki looks down at the puzzle, and then back up at him, his blue eyes shining curiously. "Piece?" 

Yamato reaches out and taps it. "This shape is a square," he says. "Can you say that for me? Square," he repeats, making sure to enunciate slowly and clearly. Naoki still has a lot of trouble with double consonants, often dropping the second one altogether, and Yamato doesn't expect him to get it right, but hopefully he'll get close. 

Naoki hesitates, and then reaches out as well, copying Yamato's tapping motion. "S'are," he says. 

"That's right," Yamato says, smiling. "Square." He falls silent as he watches his son inspect the other pieces, ready to help or move on to something different if the little boy becomes too frustrated or bored. 

Naoki picks up a triangle and turns it around in his hands a few times before studying the empty holes in front of him, then examines a star-shaped hole, his hand holding the triangle piece hovering over it, but eventually he shifts his attention to the triangle-shaped hole, and after another examination, fits the triangle into its slot. "T'iangel." 

Yamato's smile gets broader, and his chest tightens as he looks at his son. He couldn't be more proud of him, or feel more love for this tiny being he helped create. "You're right, Naoki," he says. "That shape is a triangle." He continues to watch as his son fits the shapes into their holes, and hopes there will be plenty more moments like this in their future. 

* * *

_Hey everyone, can we all do our best to meet at 4:30 later today? I would have brought this up in class, but Dr. Saito didn't give us time._

_Why? Aren't we meeting on Saturday?_

_No prob! ♥_

_Sorry, I just think we have a lot of work to do still and working together is best._

_Yeah, okay._

_I'm sorry, I have work at six, I won't be able to stay more than an hour._

_That's fine, even an hour is better than nothing._

_Okay, I'll be there. I hope it's not too much of a problem._

_Count me in._

_Yamato?_

Yamato reads through the text messages with a growing sense of frustration, glaring down at his phone before dropping it back into his pocket unanswered. "Is Lucas for real?" he mutters to Taichi. "Does he really think that none of us have lives, that we can all just show up last minute to things no problem?" Privately he fleetingly entertains the idea of introducing Lucas and Ny to each other—they'd probably get along great. But then he realises how terrifying the two of them would be teamed up, and shudders. 

"See if my mom can watch him longer?" Taichi offers with a sympathetic smile as they step off the subway. "Her cooking club isn't until later tonight." 

Yamato sighs, taking a moment to be distracted by the sight of Taichi's ass in his tight jeans as he gets slightly ahead of Yamato. It doesn't hold his attention for long, though, when he hears his phone chime with another text, and he's left resigning himself to asking Taichi's mom to babysit longer. It isn't fair to Yuuko at all, and he hates doing it, but he doesn't see what other choice he has. But when they get to Taichi's apartment, he can see immediately that it's not going to be possible. She's dressed up nicely, and has her bag on a table near the entrance, clearly ready to go out. 

"Oh, hi boys," she says with a smile as Naoki runs over to Yamato, hugging his legs. "Naoki was very well-behaved today, no tantrums at all! Taichi, honey, I have some errands to run before my cooking club, and your sister's gone out with Takeru, so you have the apartment to yourself for a few hours until your dad gets home." 

"Thank you, Mrs. Yagami," Yamato says, showing no hint of his aggravation at the situation as Taichi glances at him in concern. 

"Actually, Mom, I have to go to the library to work on a group project, I'm not sure how late I'll be home," Taichi tells her, watching as she steps into her shoes. 

"Okay, dear, be sure to lock up when you leave. I'm off now." 

"Bye, Mom," Taichi says. 

"Now what?" Yamato complains once she's gone. "Your mom's gone, my parents are at work, both are siblings are apparently out somewhere together..." 

"Daddy up!" Naoki says, reaching his arms up in the air as he bounces up and down. Yamato bends down and swings him into his arms, and Naoki giggles, wrapping his arms around Yamato's neck. 

"Koushiro's mom? Or maybe Jou, or even Sora?" 

"Sora? You're joking," Yamato says flatly. 

"It really wasn't her fault last time," Taichi tries, but Yamato glares at him. "Okay, no Sora..." 

In the end, after a few fruitless phone calls, Yamato newly resigns himself to the fact that Naoki's just going to have to come along. Even though it's November now, and getting colder, he bribes the toddler with the promise of ice cream, and after a quick text to the group to let them know he and Taichi are on their way, they head back to the Tokyo mainland. Lucas raises his eyebrows when Yamato and Taichi walk in with Naoki between them, Naoki's hand firmly grasped in Yamato's, but doesn't say anything about the toddler's presence, for which Yamato is glad. He had toyed with the idea of trying to pass him off as a much younger brother on the way over, but Naoki ruins that pretty quickly when Yamato sets him up at the table next to the seat he claims, pulling his crayons and favourite colouring book out of his diaper bag. "Remember, Naoki, this is a library, so we can't yell or speak loudly, we have to be _quiet_ ," he says softly as he sets the objects down in front of the little boy. 

"'Kay Daddy!" Naoki says, his voice coming out in a loud, exaggerated whisper, and Yamato winces, grimacing out a smile at him somehow. 

"Just... be good, colour quietly, and we'll get ice cream later," he says, before turning his attention to his group. 

"Yamato! You didn't tell me you had such a cute little boy!" Tomo squeals, though the expression on her face suggests she's not as happy as she sounds about it. 

"Is he the reason you were late last time?" Lucas asks from his seat next to her. "You could have just said so!" 

Yamato slides into his seat with a sigh, flashing Taichi a quick smile of thanks for setting up his laptop while he was dealing with Naoki. "Sorry to bring him, I couldn't find anyone available to watch him so last minute," he says pointedly, briefly glancing over at Lucas. The other teen ducks his head, a light flush darkening his skin. 

"Where's his mom, surely she could watch him for a few hours?" Tomo asks. 

Yamato ignores her, looking across to Meiko instead. "What are we working on today?" 

"Um, we wanted to coordinate with our research," she says softly. "Make sure none of us has overlapping information, but also no contradicting information..." 

"Sounds good," he says easily, and smiles at her, ignoring the little huff he hears from Tomoyo. He pulls up his file from Saturday, and it's not long before they're all comparing information, seeing what everyone has managed to come up with. 

"Where's your file?" Taichi eventually asks, directing his question to Chihiro. 

"File?" she asks blankly, not even glancing up from her phone. 

"Your research." 

"Oh. That." She sighs, and sets her phone down for a moment before her turning her laptop towards the rest of the group. They all look at it, and then at each other in disbelief. 

"Chihiro, this is two sentences," Lucas says tersely. She shrugs at him, unconcerned, already back to texting. "You need to start working on this project. You can't sit on your phone the whole time and expect for the rest of us to do the work for you and get you a good grade." 

"Okay," she says, but she makes no move to put her phone away. Lucas pushes her laptop across the table towards her in disgust. 

"I think the rest of us all look good," Taichi says—he's still vying for leadership of the group with Lucas, despite all the fighting it caused last time. "Let's see if we can each get an article done today." 

Everyone nods, and they all work quietly for a while. Yamato's deeply engrossed in reading about the nobility ranks being established during the time period when he feels a small tug on his shirt, and looks over to see his son beaming at him. "Daddy see," Naoki says in his loud whisper, pointing at the page he's scribbled all over. 

Yamato's uncomfortably aware of his group members looking over at them, but does his best to ignore it. "That's very nice, Naoki. Can you colour another one for me?" 

"Yeah!" 

"Quietly," he reminds, putting a finger to his lips, and Naoki imitates him, nodding exaggeratedly before turning to a new page and picking up a red crayon. 

"He's so sweet," Tomo says with a wide smile at the little boy. "What's his name, Naoki? Naoki, did you draw that for your mom?" 

Yamato tenses immediately. He's yet to ever bring up Megumi to his son, and he has no idea what Naoki thinks about not having a mom, or if he even realises yet that he should. He _really_ doesn't want this to be the place he finds out what Naoki believes. Thankfully, Naoki simply says, "For Daddy!" happily, not even looking up from his colouring. Yamato breathes out in relief, and then looks over at Tomo, trying to keep the anger off his face and out of his voice. He knows she's fishing to find out if he has a girlfriend, and it makes him incredibly upset that she'd drag Naoki into it. "Please don't talk to him," he says stiffly. 

Beside him, Taichi reaches for his hand under the table and grasps it, squeezing tightly in silent support. Yamato squeezes back briefly, grateful for the contact. 

"Sorry!" Tomo exclaims, not looking it at all. "He's just so adorable! He looks so much like you, does he get any features from his mom?" 

"I think we need to keep working on the project," Taichi says, raising his voice slightly, and Yamato squeezes his hand again before pulling away, bringing up the word program on his laptop to start typing out a rough draft of his first article. A short time later, another tug interrupts him. 

"Bas'room," Naoki says. He's taken to using the 'grown-up bathroom' pretty quickly, ditching his diapers during the day for underwear, and most of the time Yamato is proud of him, but he can't help thinking that a diaper would be really convenient right now. 

"I'll take him," Taichi says automatically, used to offering his help with Naoki. It reminds Yamato of the times Taichi stayed over at his apartment to help out—which he still misses quite a bit—but now is definitely the wrong place to offer help. Taichi's busy working on his project though, not thinking about where they're at and who they're around as he pecks away at his keyboard. Yamato grimaces, and then lets out a little cough. Taichi looks up, confused, and then catches the weird looks the others are giving him. He grins sheepishly, scratching at the wild mess of hair on his head, but shrugs the looks off, getting up to assist Naoki. He doesn't really care what the others think of him. They can speculate all they want. 

"That's so nice of Taichi to help you out," Tomo says, and Yamato has to hide a grin when he catches Meiko next to her rolling her eyes, though she blushes and looks down when she realises Yamato has seen her. Apparently he's not the only one tired of Tomoyo's pathetic attempts. 

"Yep," he says simply, and goes back to his article. Taichi and Naoki come back a few minutes later, and Taichi helps the little boy back into his seat before resuming his own. "All good?" Yamato murmurs, and Taichi nods. 

"Um... everyone?" Meiko says quietly about half an hour later. "I have my first article finished, I've emailed it all to you... I have to leave for work now, I'm very sorry." 

Lucas smiles at her, his green eyes bright. "Don't worry about it," he says casually. "We'll see you Saturday?" 

She nods, and then gives a quick bow before rushing off. 

"I've gotta go too," Chihiro mutters, pushing her laptop lid down as she gets up from her seat. 

Lucas frowns at her. "Have you finished your article?" 

She ignores him, flipping her hair behind her shoulder as she walks away, her laptop under her arm and her phone still in hand. 

"Hey, after we finish our articles, what do you say to hitting up that café?" Tomo asks, looking at Yamato, causing him to tense up again. "I mean, if Naoki's mom isn't expecting you?" 

"Alright, _enough_!" Taichi half-shouts suddenly before Yamato can even think of an excuse, glaring at the girl across from him and startling everyone. Even Naoki looks up from his colouring. "Tomoyo, you are making all of us—but _especially_ Yamato—very uncomfortable. Stop trying to find out if he's got a girlfriend, and stop trying to flirt with him, I can assure you he's taken! We're here to work on our project, not get dates, so leave him alone and just do your work!" 

For a long moment, there's nothing but silence, and then Tomo bursts into loud sobs. She gets up from her seat and rushes off, tears streaming down her face, leaving all her stuff behind. Yamato sits there, feeling heat creep up his face, his skin prickling all over. He can't believe Taichi's just done that, it's not usually like him. He's not even sure if it's a result of frustration or jealousy. Perhaps both. Either way, it's annoying, because he doesn't want or need Taichi constantly defending him, but he's not sure he should say something, because he knows Taichi doesn't mean anything bad by it, that he's only trying to help—the both of them, if he's being honest. He knows Taichi's display now isn't entirely selfless, though it's reassuring when he glances over and sees the stricken look on his boyfriend's face. 

"Daddy?" Naoki's small voice asks, uncertain as he glances around at everyone. 

"It's okay, baby," Yamato murmurs to him immediately, reaching out to gently tousle his hair. "Go back to your colouring." 

That seems to be the cue for everyone else to return to their own work, silently all agreeing to not speak of what just happened, though Lucas does reach over and pack away Tomo's stuff to take with him when he leaves. They all know it's unlikely she'll be back for the day. Yamato's embarrassment slowly fades as he finishes up his article, though his annoyance lingers. He doesn't want a repeat of last time, however, so he tells himself he can't take it out on Taichi—he needs to do what he expects of Taichi, and talk to his boyfriend when something's bothering him. Yet he can't do it here—maybe he'll ask Taichi to stay the night, and they can talk then, after Naoki's been put to bed. They'll have plenty of time and privacy then, and won't have to worry about Taichi making it home before it's too late. That's the only reason Yamato wants him to stay the night, and if he says that to himself enough he might even believe it. 

* * *

"What flavour do you want?" Taichi asks him, smiling as he pulls out his wallet. "My treat." He's still feeling guilty for his outburst in the library earlier, knowing Yamato hadn't liked it much, and he wants to try and make up for it now. Buying ice cream for the three of them isn't a major thing, but he hopes it will be enough of a peace offering. Yamato hasn't said much to him on the walk over, and though he's tried not to let it get to him, it's bothering him. Although he can admit he probably deserves it somewhat. His yelling at Tomoyo that way had been uncalled for. 

"Caramel with nuts," Yamato says quietly. "And chocolate for Naoki." He sighs as Taichi goes up to place their orders. In trying not to take his annoyance out on Taichi, he's wound up making Taichi feel like he's doing exactly that, because the only way he can think to avoid an angry outburst is to not talk much. He takes Naoki by the hand and they grab some seats at the small bar table by the window, saving a seat for Taichi. He comes over a few minutes later, an ice cream cup in each hand and a smaller one nestled into the crook of his arm. Yamato rescues that one from him, and sets it down in front of Naoki, who grins happily and immediately digs in. 

"Thanks," Yamato murmurs, and they eat quietly. The ice cream is good, and helps to mellow out his annoyance at Taichi. The sight of Taichi's backside in those jeans as he was ordering their treats also helps—he's been admiring Taichi in them all afternoon. It's not the first time he's seen that particular pair on Taichi, but it's been awhile, and he's forgotten just how much they make him want to jump Taichi's bones. It's hard to stay truly mad with a sight like that. 

Yamato's halfway through his cup when Taichi speaks up. "I'm sorry," he says. "I can tell you're mad at me... I just couldn't take it anymore, she was distracting everybody and being really annoying." 

Yamato looks down at his melting ice cream. He reminds himself that Taichi wasn't deliberately setting out to embarrass him, and that he doesn't want a fight. "I know. I'll get over it," he says. "It's fine." And when he thinks about it, it is. There could be worse things than having a boyfriend that sticks up for him. He raises his head, and gives Taichi a small smile. After a moment's hesitation, Taichi smiles back, relief in his eyes. They finish their ice cream, the mood between them lighter. Once the three of them are standing outside the shop, Taichi begins to set off towards the subway station. "Wait," Yamato says. 

Taichi stops, and looks back at him, puzzled. "What?" 

"Do you—can you stay tonight?" He's been thinking about it in the shop, about having Taichi still stay. There isn't really a reason for it now, but he doesn't want Taichi to go home. He wants Taichi with him tonight, sharing his bed, cuddling up with him throughout the night, giving him a lazy, sweet smile upon waking in the morning... It's only been a couple of weeks since Taichi last stayed, but Yamato already misses his presence there immensely. 

Taichi hesitates, confusion still etched into his features, and Yamato wants to kick himself for asking—obviously there isn't a need for him to stay, and Taichi's clearly not to ready to take this step of staying over for the hell of it—but then Taichi grins at him. "Sure." 

They change direction, heading to Yamato's apartment instead. Taichi has his school stuff with him, and there's a change of his clothes at Yamato's—though they'll have to be washed, if Yamato's remembering right—so there's no reason for them to make the trip back to Odaiba to Taichi's apartment. When they get home, Yamato quickly throws Taichi's clothes in the wash along with some of his own, and then asks Taichi if he'll give Naoki a bath while he starts preparing a light supper. 

"You want me to?" Taichi asks, looking oddly uneasy. 

Yamato frowns. He hasn't forgotten how Taichi had gotten weird around Naoki the last time he'd stayed. Yet Taichi has been around Naoki plenty since then and acted fine—he'd certainly seemed okay when taking the toddler to the bathroom at the library earlier. Yamato can't understand what's causing the change in behaviour. "Yeah, it'll help me out. You know where everything is, right?" 

"Of course," Taichi says. "No problem." The troubled expression doesn't leave his face, though, and Yamato's not sure what to make of it. Taichi calls for Naoki easily enough, however, so he puts it out of his mind for the time being and begins pulling food out. 

Thankfully, the rest of the evening goes smoothly. They eat and then both put Naoki to bed, Taichi acting normally about it, and work on some homework for their classes tomorrow before calling it a night themselves.Yamato changes into sweatpants and a thick t-shirt for bed, then digs out a second pair of sweatpants for Taichi to wear, and if he's being honest with himself, maybe another reason he wants Taichi to stay over tonight is so he can get Taichi into his clothes. He watches as Taichi works his way out of the jeans he's got on, and Yamato is once again appreciating how tight those things are. Mmm. 

Yamato shakes his head at himself and walks around to his side of the bed, sets his alarm and then crawls in under the thick quilt he bought last weekend, since it's starting to get chilly at night. 

He snickers a little as he watches Taichi roll up the band of his sweatpants so he won't trip over them when he walks, and Taichi looks up at the noise, sticks his tongue out at him before turning off the light and burrowing in under the covers next to him. 

* * *

Hot. It's really fucking hot. That's all Taichi can process as he tosses and turns and wonders why something is keeping him from moving the way he wants, away from the suffocating heat. 

But then a few more of his senses kick in, and he realises it's hot because he's under a really thick quilt, and because there is a mass of limbs and sweaty blond hair octopusing onto him from behind. 

Taichi tries to move again, get out from under the covers in the pitch black of the night, but Yamato makes the most heart-melting whimpering noise, and all the annoyance just drains out of him as his boyfriend nuzzles into the back of his neck and presses in closer. He does as much as he can to push the quilt off of them and settles back into his pillow, sweaty and knowing they'll have to change all the sheets tomorrow. He's just about fallen back to sleep when he shifts again and Yamato wraps his leg tighter around his hip and clings to him, and _oh_. 

Taichi's whole body flushes hot for an entirely different reason, and he pushes his ass back. His head is foggy from sleep and the heat, he's slick with sweat, damp at his hairline and the collar of his shirt, and he sucks in a deep breath through his nose when he feels Yamato actually grind against him, feels a hand sneak under his shirt, play at one of his nipples. 

"Ssshit," he slurs, blindly angling his head back in the dark, aiming for a kiss, and Yamato meets him halfway, pressing their lips together, kissing slow and syrupy in the oppressive heat of the room. Taichi reaches back to get his fingers in Yamato's sweat-soaked hair, pull him in impossibly closer, hold him there. 

Even with sleep-fogged brains they both know they need to keep quiet, so quiet, feeding each other tiny little sighs and hungry, aching whimpers. 

They kiss, hot, open-mouthed, Taichi arching back into it, Yamato's leg tightening on his hip, and the brunette's sleepy brain thinks ' ** _Skin_** ,' demands it, so he turns over and pushes at Yamato's clothes until the blond catches on, stripping down completely, and then helping Taichi do the same. 

They both lie there in the dark facing each other, breathing hot and heavy and nosing at each other, giving timid little kisses, shy all of a sudden, fingers ghosting over one another and making them both shiver until Yamato reaches down and grips them both in his hand, pumping gently. 

Taichi gasps and rolls his hips, digging his fingers into the meat of Yamato's shoulder, fingers slipping on sweat-slick skin as Taichi tries to cling to him. " _Ah_ ," he whimpers, precum dribbling down from both of them and making the slide slick and easy, almost too easy, it's not enough... 

Taichi blindly fishes over in the dark for the drawer in the bedside table, pulls out the little bottle of lube he knows is in there and presses it into Yamato's chest, his hips still rolling, mouth hanging open, eyes squeezed shut now, brow knit tight. Yamato kisses at his open mouth, an apology for when his hand around them disappears, swallowing up the whine that tears from Taichi's throat at the loss. 

It’s probably only a couple seconds but it feels like forever before Yamato's hands are back on him, reaching down between his legs to circle his rim and get him prepped with one lubed finger, then two, and a third for good measure, stretching him open, getting him loose and wet and ready. 

Yamato breaks their kiss, has to lean away when Taichi chases after him for more, so he can pant out, "Good?" his voice gravelly and rough from sleep. 

The brunette nods feverishly as he goes back in for more, inhaling sharply through his nose and licking into the blonde's mouth. 

Taichi feels Yamato moving around, searching for the lube, feels him jacking himself a little, getting his dick wet, but because they're on their sides, Yamato has to break their kiss and scoot down, get Taichi's left leg up around him so he can press the tip of his dick to Taichi's loose, wet little hole. 

Yamato leans in, gets his mouth on Taichi's neck, tastes salt and skin and heat, and the brunette makes the quietest of moans, clings to Yamato as the blond holds Taichi by the hip, presses against his hole again, presses until he feels the pop, the head of his dick breeching the tight ring of muscle, and both their mouths drop open, gasping and panting in the dark, eyes squeezed shut as Yamato slides in. 

Taichi hitches his leg higher, tries to get Yamato in deeper so he can _really_ feel him, but then Yamato starts to move, just a little, he doesn't have much leverage, short little tugs on his rim, _ah_ , _ah_ , " _Ah_ —" They move together, sweat-slick skin gliding over sweat-slick skin as they pant and sweat some more in the heat of the room, slow but electric. 

Taichi's dick is caught between their bellies as they grind against one another. It's not enough to get him off but it feels so good, everything feels so good, that's all his brain keeps chanting, _Good, good, so good_... 

Yamato runs his thumb along the underside of Taichi's pec, holds him at his ribs, slides his hands back along the curve of his ass and massages his tailbone, kisses and fingers his nipple. 

"Fuck," Taichi moans desperately, he wants to come, he wants to—"Make me come, baby, make me—" and then he's flat on his back, legs splayed wide open with Yamato pressed down on top of him, close, keeping his dick pinned between them and fucking into him right, angled so he's hitting Taichi's prostate with every sharp, delicious thrust. 

All Taichi can do is make sweet, needy little noises and tip his head back while Yamato turns his insides to lava, and the heat and the smell of salt and skin and somehow he thinks he can taste that caramel ice cream from before, it's so good, his balls are drawn up good and tight and he's leaking steady between them, he's close, he's so close— 

And Yamato can tell. He sits up, folds Taichi's left leg up and pulls it to his own chest, clings to it for leverage as he rolls his hips and puts his free hand around Taichi's cock. He only has to slide his thumb over the slit and the tiny bundle of nerves just under the head and Taichi completely falls apart, comes wet and helpless all over his belly, gasping, shuddering. 

Yamato isn't too far behind him, hips stuttering to a stop and Taichi can feel his balls and his dick twitching as he makes a mess inside him, before Yamato slumps down on top of him again, spent. 

Their skin sticks together from sweat and come, it's gross but neither of them care, they're too busy trying to catch their breath and float back down into themselves. 

Yamato's face is buried against Taichi’s neck and he starts dropping tender, aching little kisses along the skin there, and Taichi's brain is foggy from the heat and sleepy middle-of-the-night sex... His mouth just starts running, filter completely shattered by how vulnerable the moment feels, “Love you, Yamato, I love you, _I love you_ …” 

It's only when he feels Yamato freeze atop him that his brain catches up to his mouth, and he realises what it is he's said. He feels a moment of sheer terror then—he hadn't meant to say that, neither of them has said it once in their entire relationship, and after the way he's behaved lately, it's too soon, too fast, he shouldn't have said it and he's just mucked things up completely— 

Then Yamato relaxes, and he feels more soft, tender kisses being pressed against his neck as Yamato nuzzles into him. "Love you too," Yamato whispers back, and he breathes out in relief even as his heart soars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO-MIX was a band very well known in the mid-90s/early 2000s and they did songs for several anime. They've actually released music under quite a few different names depending on who they're working with, but the name change Ny refers to in the beginning of this chapter is when they added a third member in 2005 and began releasing music under the name II MIX⊿DELTA for a couple of years. Despite what Ny says, the band started releasing less and less music around this time, and their last release was in 2013. Still, they are a fantastic band and if you've never heard them, I definitely recommend a listen!
> 
> Also, the book Yamato reads to Naoki is part of a popular children's series in Japan. The lines were taken from the English translation of the book, which you can see on Amazon [here](https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0804833524/soccerphile-20).
> 
> Oh, and my wonderful, amazing friend sakuradite from fanfiction.net has made another guest appearance, you once again have her to thank for the ending sex scene :D I really suck at writing consensual sex, and I don't know how this fic ended up with so many sex scenes, and if you dislike them but you're still here I'm so so sorry, I hope you're skipping them because they're mostly pretty skippable.
> 
> Lastly, because I spent awhile looking up ice cream shops near Tokyo University and finally found one nearby enough that would be open at that time of evening, I'm going to share it even though it's not relevant and no one but me cares. They're at a shop called mother farm milk bar, which amuses me greatly, but looks like it has some pretty delicious ice cream.


	11. Pretty Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who recently read or remembers far enough back, in chapter six I made Yamato have some remarks about having crushes on a few girls. While writing this chapter I realised that, aside from that, I've mostly been writing Yamato in a demisexual-ish direction, and I wanted to make that more concrete, so I went back and changed those lines to him _not_ having those crushes. It's not a huge factor in this fic, but I changed it because of something he later thinks in this chapter. Just don't want anyone getting confused, in case they remembered.

Yamato hasn't gotten Taichi's words out of his head. It's been two days now, but all he can think about is Taichi quietly babbling _I love you_ to him as Yamato had collapsed panting and sweaty on top of him. He'd been so surprised, all he could think to do was just say it back.

And it's not as if he doesn't mean it. He does, and has for over a year now. It's just that neither of them have ever _said_ it to each other before. If Taichi hadn't said it first the other night, Yamato's not sure he ever would have. Saying it so openly makes him feel awkward, and a little uncomfortable. But he does love Taichi, and Taichi apparently loves him, and he wonders what it means for their relationship now. It's been a little over a month since they nearly broke up, and they're doing better now, a lot, but they're not back to where they used to be. The incidences are less and less, but Yamato still sometimes tenses out of fear of Taichi's reaction when a girl gets too friendly with him, and Taichi still sometimes tries too hard to make up for his out of character behaviour. And everything is complicated by the fact that more and more each day, he wants Taichi to move in with him. He hadn't thought Taichi would be ready to yet, but now, he's wondering. _Would_ Taichi be willing to? Or is he just reading too much into the situation? 'I love you' doesn't necessarily equal 'I love you and I want to move in with you and spend the rest of my life with you,' although Yamato doesn't think that Taichi wants to spend his life with anyone _else_ at this point. But they're both still so young, and Taichi's only had one relationship before him, a brief teenage fling their last year of middle school—what if he decides at some point he wants to experience more than just Yamato? 

Then there's the fact that Taichi gets weird around Naoki sometimes. Yamato still hasn't figured out what that's about it, or why it's only occasionally, but if Taichi moves in with him, he can't act like that. Yamato needs to be able to rely on him, to trust that Taichi can take care of Naoki completely, and treat him right. Not that Taichi's treating him _bad_ exactly, and Naoki hasn't even picked up on a difference yet, but if it continues, then he might when he's older, and Yamato doesn't _ever_ want Naoki to feel like he's not wanted or liked by anyone in his own home. He'll be damned if he lets his kid experience anything even remotely similar to what he went through with his parents' divorce, or ever feel like he's missing something because his mom is absent. 

He knows that he needs to talk to Taichi about all of this. But it's hard, when he's not sure where Taichi's standing currently, and he's not good at discussing things like this. He always has too many expectations for Taichi, pushes him harder than he should, and then gets angry if Taichi fails to live up to them. And having Taichi move in, become a second dad to Naoki—he's got _major_ expectations in that. Yamato has faith in him that he'd be amazing at it, but maybe Taichi's not quite ready for all of that, and as disappointing as the thought is, Yamato wouldn't be able to blame him if he's not. 

"Yamato." Taichi's voice hissing at him breaks into his thoughts, and he blinks, looking at Taichi in confusion before looking around at the rest of his group. Right. He's at the library again to work on his project, and he's supposed to be writing another one of his articles. 

"We're comparing finished articles," Lucas says mildly, and Yamato's glad he's lost the nasty tone since learning about Naoki, even if he would have preferred his group never found out. 

"Uh..." He looks at his laptop, with the word document that has maybe a paragraph typed up, and shakes his head. "I'm not quite finished yet. I'll have it in ten minutes." 

"That's fine." Lucas nods, and looks towards Chihiro. "Chihiro?" 

"What?" She looks up briefly, giving him a disinterested look before going back to filing her nails. 

"Article?" 

"Nope." 

Lucas sighs, his green eyes flashing with irritation, but he doesn't say anything to her. "Okay, once Yamato has his, we'll be looking good... Hopefully Tomo will show up next time and have a couple of her articles for us." 

At that, a guilty flush steals over Taichi's face, but he wisely stays quiet. They all go back to their work, and Yamato does his best to put any and all thoughts of his and Taichi's relationship out of his mind, so that he can finish up his article and move on to researching the next one. Chihiro leaves half an hour later, surprising none of them, and once she's gone they resignedly divide up her work amongst themselves, knowing she's not going to contribute to their project any. This is exactly why Yamato hates group projects. He just hopes their professor will be understanding about it. 

They stay late, trying to get as much done as possible since they only have about one more week to work on everything. Yamato manages to finish up a third article, and get started on research for the fourth. Later, on the ride back to Odaiba, Taichi speaks up. "What were you thinking about so heavily this afternoon?" 

"Huh? Oh, band stuff," Yamato says. He feels guilty for the lie, but he's nowhere near ready to discuss everything with Taichi. Not when he can't get it all properly sorted in his own head yet. 

"Everything okay with you guys? Ny's not being a dick again, is he?" 

"No. We're changing our name. Been thinking about how that will go over with the fans." 

Taichi raises his eyebrows. "You are? To what?" 

"Dropping 'Teenage' and becoming 'The Wolves.'" 

"I guess that's not so bad." 

"Yeah." They go quiet again, and when they reach Natsuko's apartment, Yamato swallows down the urge to ask Taichi to come stay round, instead giving him a quick kiss goodbye before Taichi continues on to his own apartment. 

Natsuko greets him with a smile and Naoki with a hug, and Yamato picks up Naoki and thanks his mom. "Would you be able to watch him next Saturday?" he asks. He already knows his dad won't be able to again. 

"Oh, honey, I wish I could, but I'm going to be busy." 

"Okay, no problem. Thanks again," he tells her, and yells a quick goodbye to Takeru, who he can hear rummaging around in the kitchen. Takeru pokes his head out of the doorway and grins at him before disappearing again. On the way home, he thinks back to what Jou and Koushiro had said about daycares, and wonders if maybe it really is time to put Naoki in one after all. He knows from researching before Naoki was born that plenty offer Saturday care, meaning he wouldn't have to rely on his parents so much, and it probably _would_ do Naoki good to start learning how to interact with other children his own age. Perhaps when he gets home, he can do some fresh research, and maybe call a few on Monday before classes. He's tired of having to scramble around last-minute all the time for someone to watch his son. 

* * *

"We have about seventy children—Kyoko we don't play with that!—currently in our care," Mrs. Iwamoto says. Yamato nods politely at her, while Naoki hides behind him, arms wrapped tightly around his legs. He clearly doesn't want anything to do with this place, and Yamato can't blame him. There's only one other staff member, and way too many children. Many of the children are running around wild, unruly with not enough care. It's intimidating to _him_ , and he's an adult. He listens to her for as long as is polite, and then thanks her for her time with a smile, before picking up Naoki and making a quick retreat. 

"Maybe not that one, baby," he says to the toddler when they're a little distance aways. Naoki stays quiet, chewing on the usual ear of his bunny. Yamato frowns, and hopes he hasn't been put off of the idea of daycare now. He'd broached the topic with his son yesterday, asking if he'd like some children to play with during the days while Yamato was at school, and Naoki had seemed excited by the idea then, and still practically bouncing off the walls when he'd picked the boy up from Yuuko's earlier. He's never been a particularly shy child, either, so he can only hope Naoki's reaction is due to that less than ideal environment, and that he'll perk up in a nicer place. 

Thankfully, the second one they tour is a lot better managed. It's another public daycare, so there's still upwards of around eighty children, but there's enough staff to accommodate them all, and they're much better behaved, working quietly on a craft project. Naoki doesn't cower behind him this time, but he still sticks close, showing no desire to go join in, perhaps still overwhelmed by the amount of children. Yamato once more listens politely as the lady explains a typical day along with some of their policies, but though he has no reason for it, he's not overly impressed by the place. It's nice, but it doesn't seem right, and Naoki apparently feels the same way. They leave as soon as they're able, and make their way to the last one on Yamato's list. 

"Third time's the charm, right, baby?" he says to Naoki as they stand in front of it, shivering slightly in the chilly autumn air. Already he's feeling more hopeful about this place than the other two—it looks a lot nicer, and it's a private daycare, which means there should be a lot less children, though of course the price will be a lot higher than the other two. If Naoki loves the place, though, he'll gladly pay it, even if he has to cut corners elsewhere to afford it. He can't keep asking Yuuko and his parents to watch Naoki for the next four years. 

He goes in and introduces himself to the woman behind the desk, explains they spoke on the phone this morning, and then introduces Naoki. She gets up and comes around to him, crouching down to his level. "Hello, Naoki," she says with a bright smile. "I'm Mrs. Tsuzurahara. It's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it? You can call me Haru." 

Naoki smiles back at her, finally taking the bunny out of his mouth. "Haru," he says happily. Already Yamato has a good feeling about this place. None of the staff in the previous two places had acknowledged Naoki at all. 

They get a tour of the place, and Yamato feels good about everything he sees. There's only around thirty children here, with plenty of staff, and everything looks clean and well-organised, with multitudes of activities and toys for the children, along with a well-structured day. "When we start getting within an hour of pick up time, we allow the children to choose how they would like to play, as long as they don't get too loud," Haru explains as they look in on one of the rooms. Yamato feels a tug on his pants, and looks down. 

"P'ay?" Naoki asks him hopefully. 

"You want to play? With the other children?" Yamato asks, trying to clarify, and Naoki nods with a grin. Yamato looks over at Haru. "Would that be alright?" 

She smiles gently. "Of course. We can talk more about some of the specifics while he's occupied, if you'd like." 

"Okay, baby," Yamato says, looking back down at his son. "You can go play. I'll be right over here if you need me." He watches with a swelling sense of pride as Naoki toddles over to another little boy playing with a large pile of blocks, and soon the two of them are happily building alongside each other, babbling away together. Seeing that, he knows then that this is the place, and turns back to Haru to start making the appropriate arrangements. 

* * *

There's ringing somewhere. It's invading his dreams, drilling into his skull, constant, distant ringing that just won't _stop_. Yamato groans, opening his eyes with reluctance as he looks over at his clock. 6:08, it informs him, and even though it's an inanimate object, he feels like it's cheerfully mocking him. In the living room, his cell's going off for a second time, and he tosses back his quilt with a sigh before throwing his legs over the side of the bed. Light's just starting to filter in through the curtains as the sun continues to rise outside, and he rubs at his eyes as he stumbles from his room down the hall. "I'm coming," he mumbles to the phone. It's way too early to be up. He's thankful that Naoki seems to be sleeping through it. He's not awake enough to deal with a grumpy two year old. 

Finally he reaches the living room, where he'd accidentally left his phone on the coffee table last night, and picks it up, flipping it open to shut off that incessant noise. "Hello?" he asks, his voice coming out gravelly and thick. He clears his throat and tries again. "This is Yamato." 

"Yamato, it's Yuuko. I'm so sorry to call this early, but I won't be able to watch Naoki today. A minor family emergency has come up with my brother, and I won't be home. I wanted to let you know now so you could have time to make other arrangements." 

"Okay, thank you," he tells her, still trying to clear the fog of sleepiness from his brain. "I hope everything is well with your family." 

"Thank you, dear," she says. "I'll see you tomorrow." 

It's only when he's climbing back into bed, hoping to get another couple hours of sleep, does his brain wake up and realise what Yuuko was telling him. He has no babysitter for Naoki today, and Naoki's not starting at his new daycare until next Monday. "Fuck," he mutters, sitting up again. He blows out a breath in sudden frustration and runs a hand through sleep-mussed hair, wondering what the hell he's supposed to do now—all the friends he'd trust to watch Naoki will be in school, and his parents will both be at work, as will Mrs. Izumi. Even if the daycare would consider taking Naoki early, and he doesn't think they would, he hasn't squared away all of the paperwork yet, and won't have time to mess with it before classes. 

For a moment he thinks that maybe he can just skip today... but no, he can't. He has a test in biology that he doesn't want to miss. He wishes he knew his other friends' moms better, well enough to ask if any of them could watch Naoki for the day. He doesn't, though, and 6:30 in the morning seems like an inappropriate time to start getting to know people. He rubs at his forehead in frustration, tries to think of anyone else he might know, but unfortunately no one really comes to mind. He may just have to bring Naoki with him. He doesn't like the idea, doesn't want his classmates to see his son or realise that he has one—though Yamato's young enough still that a lot of people assume it's a much younger brother—and he's not sure how his professors will react to him showing up with a kid. He's pretty sure children aren't allowed in the classrooms, but he really has no idea what else to do. Hopefully his professors won't get too mad. Luckily it's a Tuesday, so he only has two classes to deal with today, not three. 

Mind made up, he collapses backwards onto his pillows again. Without having to go all the way to Odaiba, he can sleep in today. It's almost too bad Naoki can't come with him more often. Actually, no, that sounds like a terrible idea. He rolls, over, snorting at himself, and then shuts his eyes. 

* * *

Somehow, it doesn't take any bribes to get Naoki to agree to being quiet during Yamato's classes. He's surprised but grateful, and isn't about to question it. Still, he's tense over potential reactions when walks into his history class. Thankfully however, he's also early, and most of his classmates and his professor haven't yet arrived. Even Taichi and Sora aren't there yet. The few classmates that _are_ present give him and Naoki mildly curious looks, but don't say anything, to his relief. He puts Naoki in Sora's usual seat and gives him some blank paper and crayons and prays that will be enough to keep him occupied for the length of class. 

Sora gets there before Taichi—though honestly, he's not even sure if Taichi will show up today—and raises her eyebrows when she spots the toddler in her chair. She sits down next to the little boy, murmuring a greeting to him, and then looks to Yamato, her eyes silently asking why he's there. He grimaces. "Mrs. Yagami had some kind of 'minor family emergency' this morning," he says. "Everyone I know has work or school. I have a test in my next class, I didn't know what else to do." 

Sora smiles at him. "Well, I don't think you should worry. You know how Dr. Saito is. He gets so wrapped up in his lectures, he's probably not likely to even notice." 

Yamato smiles back at her, knowing she has a point. "Yeah." 

They make small talk, Yamato keeping an ear attuned to his son, and Taichi shows up not long after that, making an apologetic face when he spots Naoki. "Sorry Mom couldn't watch him," he says as he takes his seat. "She had to go to Shimane to help her brother out with something or other." 

"It's fine," Yamato reassures him. "Like Sora pointed out to me, probably Dr. Saito won't even notice." 

Luckily, Sora turns out to be right. It's a large class, and the professor allows them to work in their groups for the day, so between all the chatter and people constantly moving around, Naoki blends right in. Yamato's group members barely give him a second glance, and he's relieved that Tomo doesn't ask anything about Naoki or Megumi this time. Though given that she's avoiding both him and Taichi, it's not so surprising. Even if it was effective, he rather hopes Taichi never does something like that outburst again. He can still feel the heat of embarrassment in his cheeks when he remembers it. 

"I think we need to talk to Dr. Saito about Chihiro," Taichi says after they've been working for awhile, glancing around at their group. 

"Yeah. He did say to let him know if someone in the group wasn't pulling their weight, and I doubt she's going to do any work at this point," Lucas agrees. 

"Why don't you two go talk to him while the rest of us stay back and start piecing together a design?" Yamato suggests, and for once the both of them nod in agreement, instead of starting some petty fight over leadership. 

By the end of the class, he's pleased with how smoothly everything has gone. No one has remarked on Naoki's presence, and the toddler has managed to stay quiet and occupied the entire time. He can only hope his biology class will go as well. If he's lucky, Naoki will once again go unnoticed. 

Unfortunately, it doesn't work out that way. As soon as he steps inside the door, Naoki in tow, the professor pulls him aside. "Mr. Ishida," he says in a low voice, "children aren't allowed in the classroom." 

"I know, sir, I'm sorry," he says demurely, dipping his head down in deference briefly. "His babysitter had a family emergency and no one else was available, I didn't know what to do. I would have stayed home if it wasn't for the test, I didn't want to miss it. If he could stay just this once, I promise he'll be quiet." 

The professor purses his lips together, thinking. Finally, he reluctantly gives his agreement. "Very well, but if he makes any noise, you'll both have to leave, even if your test is unfinished, and you won't be able to make it up later either." 

"I understand, sir. Thank you." He bows his head again and then heads to his seat, doing his best to impress the importance of staying quiet to Naoki. This test is a good chunk of their grade, he really doesn't want to miss it or have to leave in the middle of it. 

"Everything okay?" Taichi murmurs to him once he's gotten himself and Naoki both settled. 

"Yeah. He can stay as long as he's quiet." 

"That's good." 

"Yeah." He's just hoping that Naoki can actually manage to stay quiet long enough for him to take the test. He does have his moments, especially if he gets cranky from being hungry or tired, or fed up with having to be quiet and still for so long, but he has to admit, most of the time his son is well-behaved out in public when Yamato needs him to be. Still, he'll be glad when Naoki goes to daycare next week. It will be a relief to not have to worry as much about times like this. And maybe he'll cry less, on the days he doesn't want to leave Yamato, if there's the promise of other children to play with as a distraction. He can only hope. 

* * *

"Takeru," Yamato says in surprise when he pulls open the door to his apartment. It's late Friday afternoon, and though he's glad to see his brother, it's unexpected. Takeru's usually hanging out with his friends on the weekend, not him, unless they've made plans in advance. 

Takeru smiles a greeting at him. "Sorry for showing up uninvited," he says. "Can I come in?" 

"Of course!" Yamato pulls open the door wider, stepping aside, but before Takeru can make it over the threshold, a small blur comes zooming up and plows into him, permanently attaching itself to his legs. 

"Oof," Takeru says, stumbling, and only Yamato's quick grab at his arm keeps him from completely losing his balance and falling over. "Thanks." 

Yamato smirks. "He's been somewhat hyper this afternoon. I'm sure he'd love to entertain you while I finish up dinner. Do you want to stay for it? There's plenty to go around." 

"I ate just before I came over," Takeru says, grinning. "But I can never say no to food." 

Yamato rolls his eyes at his brother, reaching down to ruffle Naoki's hair. "Come on, baby," he says. "Let your Uncle Takeru in." 

Naoki giggles, but instead of letting go of Takeru, he sits down atop Takeru's left foot, keeping his arms wrapped around Takeru's leg. "Unc' Takeru," he says happily. 

Takeru looks down at him, then back up at Yamato in bemusement before he gives a mental shrug and decides to just go with it. He doesn't plan on kids anytime soon, but he supposes that when he _is_ ready for them, he'll at least have had plenty of practice over the years, thanks to his unexpected nephew. Privately, he thinks Yamato is nuts sometimes, to have had a kid so young. He knows his brother didn't really plan it as such, of course, but still—how hard would it have been to throw on a condom? Yamato seems happy most of the time, though, so who is he to really judge? 

Shaking off his thoughts, he takes an exaggerated step forward with his left leg, Naoki still clinging to him, and shrieking with laughter as he takes more steps, coming to a stop at the end of the entryway. "You're getting heavy, kid," he tells Naoki with a smile. 

Yamato laughs, and somehow manages to extract his son from his brother's leg. "Tall, too," he says. "It's amazing how fast he grows." He heads back into the kitchen, and Takeru hastily slips off his shoes before following, Naoki running after them both. 

"Not that I don't love you, little brother, but what's with the surprise visit?" Yamato asks as he returns to slicing up vegetables. 

Takeru shrugs, poking around in the cabinets for something to snack on, nearly tripping over Naoki, who has settled back down on the floor with some of his toys. "Can't I just want to spend time with my favourite person?" That isn't his reason for being here, but he's not sure how to answer his brother. He needs advice about Hikari, because lately he's not sure what's been going on between them. He hadn't wanted to call in advance, afraid he'd lose his nerve to talk if he didn't come over immediately, but now that he's here he's having second thoughts. His brother's obviously busy, and he's not sure Yamato is even the right person to give him advice on his dating life. He and Taichi have always made it look so natural and easy. 

Yamato scoffs, and though his back is to Takeru, he's sure Yamato is rolling his eyes at him. Takeru grins to himself, and pulls open another cabinet. "Hey, quit going through my cabinets," Yamato grumbles. "And tell me why you're really here," he adds, before scooping up some of his now sliced vegetables and tossing them into the hot pan waiting on the stove. 

Takeru sighs, closing the cabinets and going over to take a seat at the kitchen table, sadly empty-handed. Naoki looks up at him from the floor, and then gets up, toddling over to him and trying to climb in his lap. "Here, baby," Takeru murmurs, picking him up. Naoki smiles, patting at him. "I wanted to talk to you," Takeru says. 

"Hmm, about what?" Yamato asks, before mumbling something about carrots under his breath. 

Takeru frowns, wondering if his brother's even going to pay attention to him. He didn't think Yamato was the type to get that involved in his cooking... He should have called, made sure Yamato could give him his full attention. "What are you making?" 

"Chicken curry." 

"I didn't think that used sliced vegetables." 

"Not typically, but they're easier for Naoki to eat. I'd rather do it now, than have to cut up all of his food for him later." 

Takeru watches as his brother stirs at the softening onions, still muttering to himself. "How long have you liked Taichi?" he eventually asks. He lets out a grunt of pain as Naoki starts wriggling down out of his lap, a knee hitting dangerously close to sensitive areas. 

Yamato glances up from his cooking, looking back at him in confusion and curiosity. "Several years. Why?" 

"Did you—" He's barely started the question when he's interrupted by the now wayward two year old, who has apparently decided he wants to imitate his uncle, and is currently going around pulling open the lower cabinets and drawers, slamming them shut again with a bang, making both Yamato and Takeru wince at the noise. 

"Naoki, we don't do that," Yamato says sternly, shooting Takeru a dirty look. Takeru can only shrug. It's not like _he_ slammed them all closed, the kid's made that one up on his own. 

"No!" Naoki says, defiantly shoving at another cabinet door. 

"You want time out?" 

"No!" 

"Then stop." Yamato waits a moment to make sure Naoki isn't going to do it again, then turns back to the stove, adding in some ginger, garlic, and chicken to his pan. "Sorry, what were you saying?" he asks, addressing Takeru again. 

Takeru hesitates, rubbing at his forehead, which is starting to ache slightly. This conversation is not going at all how he'd hoped, and he's even less sure now that it's a good idea to continue. He's here though, and he does need some advice, so he might as well carry on. "Did you ever—" 

Naoki chooses that moment to slam another door shut, crossing his little arms across his chest as a mulish expression steals over his face. It would be comical, if Takeru didn't find himself growing quickly annoyed at the situation. 

"Naoki..." Yamato says warningly, exasperation evident in his voice. "What did I tell you?" 

"No," Naoki repeats, looking stubbornly at his dad. 

"Okay, time out it is." 

"No!" the toddler cries, running away from Yamato and out of the room. 

Yamato raises his eyes skyward, clearly asking for patience, before looking at Takeru with a tight smile on his face. "Excuse me," he says. "Watch the food, will you?" 

Takeru sits there in bewilderment for a moment. "Sure," he says, but Yamato's already gone, chasing after Naoki through the living room and down the hall. Yep, definitely no kids for a long time. Maybe when he's thirty. He gets up, stirring dutifully at the meat and vegetables so they don't burn. Coming here tonight was definitely a bad idea, or mostly—he'll still get some curry, at least. But a talk is clearly not going to happen right now. It's a little upsetting, but he knows he has only himself to blame for assuming Yamato would be able to drop everything and talk to him. It isn't like when they were kids. His brother is more or less grown now, and has a life and a child of his own to deal with, Yamato can't always have time for him. 

Loud, sudden wails drift in from the other room, cutting into his thoughts and making his head throb, and he looks over to see Naoki in his playpen, unhappy tears rolling down his reddened cheeks. Yamato steps back into the room, a mixture of guilt and aggravation on his face. "I'm sorry, I guess he's decided to be difficult tonight," he says, coming back over to the stove, and Takeru relinquishes the wooden spoon to him gladly. 

"It's fine," he says, being sure to keep his voice neutral. He doesn't want to let on to his brother that he's upset, because Yamato's already got his hands full. "I should have called." 

Yamato shrugs, tossing in his carrots. "What were you trying to say earlier?" 

"It's nothing," he says. "It's not important; it can wait for another time. Do you have any painkillers?" 

"Shelf above the toilet," Yamato answers him. 

He hides out in the bathroom for awhile, sulking like a small child, and when he comes back out, Yamato's adding the curry roux blocks into the pan, meaning dinner is nearly ready. Good. He can eat and make small chatter about nothing, and then make his escape. 

"Thought you got lost." 

"Sorry, I'll try harder next time." 

Yamato lets out a snort, shaking his head, but he's smiling. He finishes up the curry, ladling it out into bowls already filled with rice, and then goes to get Naoki from the playpen. The three of them eat dinner quietly. Yamato attempts to get Takeru to talk about what he'd tried to bring up earlier, but Takeru is unwilling, shaking his head and changing the subject. 

Later that evening, after Takeru's been long gone and Naoki's down for bed, Yamato pulls out his cell phone, bringing up his brother's number. _Sorry for earlier_ , he texts. Now that Naoki's not causing trouble and he's not distracted by dinner, he's had time to realise that Takeru definitely came over with something in mind to discuss, and had been upset when he'd not been able to. 

_It's not your fault_ , Takeru's reply comes back. 

_You wanna talk now?_

_Not over text._

_I'm free tomorrow, my group changed our usual meeting to Sunday. While Naoki's napping, around two?_

_Sure. (─‿‿─)_

Yamato stares blankly at the screen, and the weird emoji his brother's sent, before furrowing his brow in confusion. _What the hell is that?_

_Idk, but it looks like Patamon! Don't you think?_

_Not in the least..._

_It does! Don't be mean. (｡•́︿•̀｡)_

_What?! How is that mean? And quit with the weird emoji!_

_You're no fun._

Yamato rolls his eyes at that. _Love you too._

_ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ_

Yamato looks at the last emoji with a shudder, not deigning to respond. "Creepy," he mutters, and flips his phone shut. 

* * *

"Okay, talk to me," Yamato says. "What's going on?" He's sitting on his sofa, back up against the armrest, knees bent and legs in front of him, and Takeru's been idling around his living room for the past fifteen minutes, making small talk here and there, and though Yamato doesn't mind the small talk, the wandering is starting to get to him. And Takeru _did_ come here for a reason. He watches as Takeru reaches out to his bookshelf and runs a finger across the spines of the manga Yamato keeps for Taichi, avoiding the question, and decides he's had enough. He musters up the sternest voice he can manage, the one he often uses with Naoki. "Takeru." 

Takeru drops his hand, and comes over to the sofa, flopping down onto the end opposite Yamato with a sigh, his feet centimetres from Yamato's. "You'll laugh at me." 

"Of course. Isn't that what older brothers are for?" Yamato says easily, but Takeru doesn't smile like he'd hoped. "Okay, I promise not to," he adds more seriously. "You asked me last night how long I'd liked Taichi. What was that about?" 

Takeru looks across at him, blue eyes uncertain. "Did you tell him as soon as you realised you liked him?" 

Yamato lets out a laugh. "Are you kidding? Of course not!" 

"Why not?" 

"Well, if he didn't like me back, I didn't want it to ruin our friendship..." He takes a moment to study his brother, trying to figure out the point to these questions. Does he have a crush on one of his guy friends? He hopes Takeru isn't looking for advice on being gay, or trying to figure out his sexuality. He doesn't mind if his brother is, he is just _not_ the right person to ask—Yamato has no idea what he is. He's never had sexual attraction for anybody other than Taichi so far, and even that took a while to come on, years into their friendship. If there's a term for that, he doesn't know it, though he's not bothered by the lack of a label for himself. But that lack of knowing means he won't know what to tell his brother, if his sexuality really is the issue at hand. "You know I'm not gay, right?" he asks abruptly. 

"What?" Takeru seems startled, and Yamato can't blame him. The question is rather out of nowhere. 

"I mean..." He rubs awkwardly at the back of his neck as he tries to figure out how to word it, and thinks he should have kept his mouth shut. "I've never been attracted to other guys. Only Taichi. So if you were wanting advice on something like that, I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask." 

"It's not that." 

"Then what?" He watches as Takeru reaches up to fiddle with his hat, absently wondering why he still wears the damn things. He had always assumed Takeru would have tired of them years ago, but he still rarely sees his brother without one on. At least he's no longer wearing that floppy white thing. Yamato shudders to recall it. That hat had been a crime against fashion. 

"When you liked him, before you told him, did you ever feel like you might be out on a date when you hung out with him?" 

"Maybe sometimes? I never thought too much about it." Of course, he didn't _have_ dating experience before Taichi, so he couldn't have said how it felt then with any confidence. He only knew that he was happiest when he was spending time with Taichi, not that he'll ever say something that embarrassing to his brother. But thinking back on it, he doesn't recall anything really changing about the time they spent together until after that drunken night at his dad's, when they'd admitted their feelings for each other. 

Takeru sighs, glancing away as he starts messing with his hat again, and Yamato's about to tell him to stop beating around the bush and just _tell_ him, when the reason for all the questioning suddenly hits him. He smirks. "Who have you been going out on not-dates with?" 

Takeru blushes, and mumbles something that Yamato can't quite catch. "Speak up," Yamato tells him, nudging his foot against his brother's. 

"I said, with Hikari!" Takeru repeats louder, blushing, and despite his earlier words, Yamato can't help it. He laughs. Takeru immediately looks offended. "You said you wouldn't laugh!" 

"Sorry," Yamato offers, holding back more laughter, though he's still grinning. "It's just... Hikari. It's too predictable, you've always been attached at the hip. I should have known." 

"You're one to talk, Mr. I've-been-dating-my-best-friend-for-two-years." 

"Two and a half," he corrects automatically. It's a couple weeks off from being six months onto their third year, but he figures it's close enough to count. 

"Thank you for supporting my point," Takeru says with a smug grin. 

Yamato rolls his eyes at him. "Shut up." 

Takeru shoves his feet at him, and sticks out his tongue before his expression grows serious again. "Hikari and I, we've always said we're just friends." 

"So what's changed?" 

"I'm not sure." Takeru shrugs. "When we go out together, just us, it feels different now. Sometimes she says or does things that makes me think—well, nothing _really_ happens, and we don't _call_ them dates..." 

"But they feel like it." 

"To me." 

"Do you like her?" 

"...I do. But I don't know if she likes me. She just—gives me that feeling sometimes. Did you ever get that with Taichi?" 

Yamato shakes his head, smirking in remembrance. "No. I had no idea. Not until he got drunk and called me pretty. Then we talked." 

"Just like that?" Takeru asks, snapping his fingers. "It was that easy?" 

Yamato feels his face heating up, but there's no way he's ever telling Takeru how the rest of the night went down. The only person in his life who knows how he and Taichi got together is his dad—due to the circumstances of that night—and he plans to keep it that way. "Something like that." 

Takeru frowns. "What if she doesn't like me though? I don't want to ruin our friendship." 

Yamato sighs. "I said the same thing once about Taichi, to Dad, when I was afraid to talk to Taichi. Dad told me that if Taichi didn't like me, I'd have to learn to be satisfied with his friendship. I think the same goes for you. If you tell her, you might end up having to get over her while trying to remain friends—or you might gain a girlfriend. Or, you can never talk to her and spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been." 

"You make it sound so easy," his brother grumbles, and Yamato gives him a sympathetic look. 

"It's not, I know," he says. "But you two are close, and I don't think Hikari would let it come between you, even if she doesn't return your feelings." He nudges Takeru once more with his foot. "You don't have to tell her now. Think on it awhile." 

Takeru nods, and they sit quietly. Yamato can only assume he's thinking about the things that have just been said, so he gets up and leaves his brother to it, heading to the kitchen to wash some dishes, knowing Takeru won't mind. Twenty minutes later, when he's setting the last glass into the rack to dry, Takeru wanders in, phone and house keys in hand. 

"You're leaving?" 

Takeru nods. "Mom wants me home for dinner." 

"Okay. You're welcome back any time." 

"I know." He hesitates, before stepping over to Yamato and wrapping his arms around him in a brief hug, pulling away before Yamato can even think to hug him back. "Thanks." 

Yamato grins. "Anything for you, little brother. Let me know when I get to start calling Hikari 'little sister.'" 

Takeru rolls his eyes. "Just for that, I'm going to send you more weird emoji later." 

Yamato gives a dramatic gasp, throwing a hand over his heart. "You wouldn't dare." 

Takeru flashes him a devilish smile, before turning and going to the entryway to slip on his shoes. "Try me!" he calls over his shoulder as he pulls open the door. 

"Brat," Yamato mutters. 

"I heard that!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Blooper 03**  
>  _(a.k.a. Takeru wouldn't cooperate with me while writing this chapter)_  
>  Yamato scoffs, and though his back is to Takeru, he's sure Yamato is rolling his eyes at him. Takeru grins to himself, and pulls open another cabinet. "Ow!" he exclaims suddenly, rearing back and rubbing at his nose. "What the hell?" He peers cautiously back into the cabinet, where a woman is perched on the shelves, a rolled-up newspaper in her hands.
> 
> "Start cooperating or I'll do it again," she threatens, brandishing the newspaper menacingly.
> 
> Takeru's eyes widen. "Uh, Yamato—"
> 
> Yamato scoops up his now sliced vegetables and tosses them in the skillet. "Oh, don't mind her," he says. "Do what she says and there won't be any problems."
> 
> "Right..."


End file.
